Chapter 5 #2
She gave him a flat smile. “No more than your face does. Now, keep still, I need you out before my aunt discovers you.”
“Your name,” he rasped when she moved to cleanse her hands in the basin, keeping her back to him.
“What of it?”
“What is your name?” The question caught her off guard, and she glanced in the mirror to see that his eyes were closed. The silence hung between them, but there was an expectation within it that she couldn’t ignore.
Turning, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why?”
“Seeing as I was on the brink of death not too long ago, I’d like to formally know the name of my savior if she would be so gracious.”
Anelize stared at him for a long moment, so long that he eventually opened his eyes. He stared back, a curious gaze searching hers as if he’d find the answer to his question that way alone. Even in the dimly lit room, she could not bring herself to look away from those bright irises.
“You saved us from that…thing out there. I’d consider us even now.
Unless you wish to tell me why a Vedran, such as you, was lurking about tonight,” she said, taking satisfaction in the way his lips thinned at the challenge.
“I would assume it has to do with the Watchmen nearly killing you. Though the why of it all should be rather obvious, I find it intriguing that so many were searching for one man alone. What exactly did you do?”
He was silent for a long moment before he granted her a sardonic grin. “Curiosity will be the end of you, healer.”
“Then it appears we’ve reached an impasse.”
“It would appear so.” He closed his eyes once more, and this time he made no attempt to speak again.
Satisfied by the outcome of their little game, Anelize turned toward the door and opened it.
Only to catch Enid as she stumbled inside.
Anelize arched a brow as her sister quickly straightened with a sheepish smile before hurrying away.
“Eavesdropping, are we?” Anelize asked as she closed the door behind her.
A pink blush crept its way onto Enid’s cheeks. Placing her hands behind her back she mused. “I was merely curious to see what was taking so long. How is he?”
“He’ll live,” Anelize murmured, looking toward the stairs. “Magda?”
“I doubt she woke, despite the racket going on outside. She hasn’t stirred.”
Anelize noticed Enid watching her closely as she walked to the shelves and retrieved an envelope before depositing dried herbs into the pouch.
Without looking up from her task, Anelize asked, “What is it?”
With a soft perplexed smile Enid shrugged. “Nothing. I’ve just realized that I’ve never seen you so…impassioned toward anyone before.”
Anelize leveled her with a flat stare. “Your meaning?”
She shook her head, golden curls dancing around her shoulders. “It was merely an observation. I may not have as sharp of an eye as you, but I am capable of making those as well, you know. I do wonder how he was injured. What do you suppose it could have been?”
Anelize released a breath, sealing the envelope before taking the quill sitting inside its inkwell to scribble instructions.
She doubted the fool would keep his wounds clean for long, or his stitches intact for that matter.
For all her reluctance to help him, however, the memory of her father’s voice—the deep timbre etched within her like a chisel taken to marble—scolding her to treat every single person who walked through their doors with respect and care still ruled over her practice as an apothecary.
“That’s for him to know. It’s none of our concern how he was injured. It’s trouble we can live without getting involved in. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about what you did tonight. Trying to deflect from the conversation we’re to have won’t prove fruitful in your favor.”
Enid’s mood turned somber. “I’m sorry.”
The way she lowered her head reminded Anelize so much of when she’d been a child, it was almost difficult to be upset with her. Almost.
Anelize placed the envelope down, forcing her voice to stay low. “What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what would have happened if I hadn’t found you? If it had been that thing or the guards—”
Enid’s lips pursed, her frustration evident. “I would have been perfectly fine. Hiding is one of my many talents, in case you may have forgotten. Besides, once I reached the Dobrins, they would have protected me if it came to it.”
“That is not the point, and you know it,” Anelize chided. “Enid, we’re Vedrans. Should anyone come to find out, there would be no escaping the Watchmen. Not until we’re hung or burned. You know this.”
“I am aware—”
“Are you? Have you seen any of the burnings that have taken place in this city, even once? Have you dared face the reality of this world as I have? One thoughtless action is all it would take for us to join father. Is that what you want?”
Enid’s silence was answer enough. Dropping her head, she said, “Can we truly have nothing in this life, not even happiness? Must everything always come at a cost? Must we always cower in fear? I have to wonder if that is the only life we can be given.”
Anelize’s heart squeezed in her chest at such questions.
How many times had she wondered that very same thing?
Questioned if her mere existence wasn’t a mistake?
Too many, though she had never once wished to instill such thoughts within her sister.
It pained her that for all the times she’d tried to protect Enid, this was the one thing she could not shield her from.
Anelize ran a hand over her face, hating herself for the words that came next.
“It needn’t be, if you learned how to accept that this is our fate.
It does not need to change the fact that you will still marry Wellyn.
No one can deny you that, especially not Magda.
As for paying father’s debts, I can take them on all on my own. It should be of no concern to you.”
Enid shook her head. “But that is precisely why this is all wrong. All these years, working tirelessly to pay for father’s debts—and doing nearly all of it on your own, no less. It can’t be easy on you. All these years, it is all you’ve done. Do you not wish for more beyond these four walls?”
This was not the first time Enid had asked her such a thing. Every time it became harder to deny. Even to herself. Of course she wanted more. They all did in this infested land of hate and death. But wishing was not for the likes of her. It never could be.
“Father would have wanted me to continue tending to the shop. It was what he was most proud of, his life’s work was his most cherished possession. I can’t let Magda throw it all away by failing him,” Anelize said calmly.
“But father is gone! He left us. You may not wish to remember it that way, but I do. Do you think he’d want us to be trapped here? You are not beholden to bear his mistakes, nor his death. His blood is not on your hands—”
“Enough.” Anelize’s words, despite spoken in a low cadence, cut through the shop.
Shame painted Enid’s face as she turned to look out the window, the flurries of snow streaming across the glass painting swirling shadows over the two sisters.
Anelize blew out a breath as she ran a hand over her face.
She never once reprimanded her sister harshly, not like Magda had done to her.
Those first years without their father had been especially hard on Anelize, although she would never admit it to Enid.
The nights she spent reading his journals with tears in her eyes.
Desperate to learn things which he hadn’t had the chance to teach her.
The letters he’d left in case he’d be caught by the Watchmen telling them how to hide, who to trust. Then the constant ridicule and mistreatment Magda subjected her to following his death, the blame that was passed on to her, though it had never been spoken out loud.
The silence was more than enough to bring upon her shame.
Because how could she be loved when in many ways she was a monster as well?
Possibly worse than the Moroi themselves.
All of those things had become necessary feats to teach her that weakness would not be tolerated. There was no room for error, not when it came to what little she still had left to protect.
Eventually, Anelize hardened herself over the years.
Became someone cold and cutting. All to protect her sister from any sort of suffering she might have experienced.
She’d tried her best to shield her from Magda’s cruelties, yes, but she’d never once considered her sister could harbor resentment toward their father for leaving them behind.
No matter if he wasn’t the one to blame.
Another mistake on her part for not truly seeing her pain sooner.
“I’m sorry,” Anelize admitted softly.
“No, I am. I never should have said such a thing. I know what it has cost you, and I said those words callously anyway. I’m horrid.
” Enid looked pained, her voice wavering and that alone made Anelize cross the distance between them.
She wrapped her arms around her, anchoring herself in her familiar warmth and comfort.
“I simply do not wish to leave you behind.”
“You won’t leave me, silly girl. I won’t let you be rid of me.
” Anelize chuckled as Enid sniffled against her chest. She gazed out toward the window, holding her close the way she used to when Enid came to her as a child after having a bad dream.
When she missed their father dearly. “I am as unwavering as the frozen tides. I will never let you fall, never let you drown. I will always be there no matter where you go.”
“I know. I have never doubted that.” Enid rubbed her forehead against her shoulder, her next confession a harsh whisper. “I wish things were different. I wish this city was different. I wish we could run away together. Sometimes, it is all I dream of when I close my eyes at night. I dream of it…”
Enid loved to dream. That had always been something she’d known.
All the times she’d tell Anelize of her dreams of vast green fields filled with blooming yarrows.
The sun warming their skin. Blue skies without a cloud in sight.
Them sailing the open seas to unknown lands.
Dreams where they were happy. Sadly, the only thing about dreams was that they always came to an end, and with them any illusion that they could have a life that wasn’t this cold, wretched one.
Anelize closed her eyes, running her fingers through the soft tresses of her hair.
“So do I.”
The sound of something clattering from the back room made them break apart. They exchanged a glance before Anelize strode for the door and paused in the threshold.
“What is it?” Enid asked as she peered around her shoulder.
Anelize walked toward the opened window that overlooked the frozen garden behind the shop.
The cold breeze ruffled her hair as she reached up and pulled it shut, switching the latch to lock.
Anelize looked at the table. To the two silver ruens laying atop the bloodied mess the Vedran had left behind. His parting gift.