21. Aria
21
ARIA
C arlos drives me to my parents' house, though Tito's driver was supposed to. I sit in the back seat like normal, which has obviously angered Carlos. He's not my driver and he's not Tito's personal errand boy, but he's the one who volunteered. I've been avoiding him, having second thoughts about our little arrangement. I don’t know what I want anymore. Grief over Jasper has blinded me, and Tito's been so comforting. Seeing my husband hurt because of my choices and actions hasn’t been easy.
"We need to talk," Carlos says halfway to my parents' house. He's edgy. He hasn't stopped moving since he climbed in the car. He shakes his head and taps his fingers. I'm fairly certain he's either on something or going crazy because of anxiety.
We all know Donatello is on his last legs. He's bedridden now, or he remains in bed as a statement to show his men that one of his sons is taking over soon. I'm not sure which. I don’t know the man well enough to know if he's putting on an act to make sure his men follow his orders after death or if he's really that sick. Tito comes home dragging, shoulders heavy with the weight of the world, and though he wants comfort through sex, at times, I can't give that to him.
"What?" I grumble, not even wanting to be in the same car with him. My morning sickness has gotten so bad, the bumping of the car on the road is stirring it. I've managed to hide it from everyone for the most part, except Tito's cook. I've asked her to keep it a secret—told her that due to Tito's stress with his father dying and the criminal charges still lingering in his purview, I was keeping the pregnancy a secret in case I miscarry. It isn't a total lie.
Melody has a point that Mom will be devastated if I tell her she's going to have a grandchild and then I lose the baby. It's the only rationalization I can come up with to ease the guilt I'm feeling for keeping this from my parents. Now when I lie in bed grieving my brother, I'm grieving so many other things.
I'm a monster and a liar. I don't deserve this baby or this life. My father deserves better than me, and I need a place to hide from the hell I've created with my own stupidity.
"It's not working… this little plan of yours. Dad isn't seeing me as the true leader. I need to do more and I need to do it now." Carlos's knuckles are turning white. He's gripping the wheel so hard it makes me want to climb out the next time he stops at a red light. He's scary and huge, but I know if he lays a finger on me, both Donatello and Tito will rain fire on him. Not to mention my father’s wrath.
"You need to be patient, Carlos." I don't even know what he should be patient for anymore. He's right. The plan isn't working, but mostly because I've become so torn over what to do now that I haven't done anything.
The contract is binding. Tito has to let my son lead my father's family. I've read it over and over again. This baby growing in my womb is a Peralta, whether male or female. And if I have a girl now and a boy later, it will be the same. Besides, I've seen a new side of this strange and scary man I'm married to. He's not as bad as I thought he was. He does have a heart buried in that barrel chest of his, and it's a good one.
I hate to say it, but the silver lining of my brother's murder is that I'm seeing things through a new lens. Jasper should never have died, don't get me wrong. I hate that. My heart is a black hole without him here. But Tito only did what men in his position, with his authority, do. He retaliated for a business transaction that was interrupted by an enemy. And I failed to see the entire time that the minute he knew it was anyone in my father's organization, he could have owned it all and me too.
"You don't seem to be getting the point, Aria. I will be the next leader of this family even if something drastic has to happen."
I get cold chills as my eyes meet Carlos's gaze in the rearview mirror. I can tell he's the sort of guy who thinks he gets what he wants, and I wonder what sort of war I’ve started between the brothers as he pulls to a stop outside my destination. I reach for the handle, but he locks the door. I can easily unlock it and open it, but I wait for him to say what he feels he needs to say.
"I’m not waiting. With or without your help, I’m taking Tito down. Now is the perfect time, with the Russians moving in and him spread so thin in your family business. I have to move, and if you rat me out, I'll kill you in your sleep. Make no mistake about it."
I shudder, thinking about how easily that could happen, and wonder if I should tell Tito anyway. It would open Pandora's box, but at least Tito would have a chance to protect himself and me. This entire situation has gotten out of hand now, and I want to go back and do it differently, to trust my mother and believe that Tito's not a bad person.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. Now, may I go visit my mother? She's expecting me. She's still grieving my late brother, you know?" I won't let him know he's intimidating me. The way my hand shakes is hidden by the angle he views me from, so the only indicator of fear would be my tone of voice. But I make sure I sound harsh and upset, not fearful.
The door unlocks and I climb out. On wobbly legs, I walk away from him, and he speeds off before I even get to the door of the house. It opens before I ring the bell, and Mom pulls me into her arms.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, Aria. Come in. Are you okay?" She ushers me inside and into the great room, where I collapse on the sofa, finally allowed to tremble. Carlos is terrifying, and I know I've made a huge mistake. "Henry… water, please!" Mom shouts, and I know the old butler is running to get it for her.
I feel like I may pass out, and I don't know if it's from the pregnancy, the nerves, or the mourning. I also have barely eaten in days. I feel like Midas, except everything I've put my hands to hasn't turned to gold. It's turned to shit. Why did I ever think I could take down the leader of a criminal organization and walk away from it? I don't even know the men I'm involved with, Tito or Carlos.
"Baby, talk to me…" Mom sits next to me, cradling my hand while I blink my eyes, trying to get them to focus. I'm dizzy, and my vision is blurry due to the anxiety.
"It's uh…" I don't have a way to tell her. It's too messed up, too overwhelming. My plot to overtake Tito, my brother’s death, my guilt in it all, and worst of all, a baby I'm not even caring for well because I can't keep my health a priority while I'm so stressed and afraid.
"Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? It wasn't your husband, was it?"
I look into Mom's eyes and see the fear and concern and shake my head. "No, nothing like that, Mom. Tito has been wonderful, so good to me." And I mean it. He has been so very wonderful. Things started out rough with him ordering me around like a piece of meat, but I see now that it was just his way of initiating me into his realm, of letting me know who's in charge. I'm very okay with his being in charge now, because he may be the only one who can fix this issue with Carlos.
"Then tell me… Is it the Uhkovs? Have they gotten to you too?" Mom's grip on my hands tightens, and now I feel like she's growing pale.
"The Russians?" I'm confused. "Have they done something?" I know Carlos said they were pressuring Tito, but are they pressuring my father? Has my choice to marry Tito for his money, to save my family, actually put my father at a greater risk from worse enemies than the Ramiros?
"Oh, baby, I don't want you to worry…"
Henry rushes into the room with a pitcher of water and a glass with ice in it and his eyebrows rise. "Miss Aria, I didn't know you were here."
"Quickly, Henry. The water," Mom says, flapping her hand at him. He pours some water into the glass and hands it to her, and seconds later, Dad rushes in the door too.
"I heard there was a problem," he breathes out hastily and then rushes to my side. "Are you okay?"
I wave him off as I sip the water, and the cool liquid coats my throat, helping me relax. "I'm fine, Papa. I just felt faint."
Dad presses a hand to my forehead and then puts his arm around me. "Are you sure?" He looks to Mom, who still looks concerned, but now I’m more worried than I am scared.
"Mom said the Russians are pressuring you?" I have to know. If my decisions have brought my family under more scrutiny and made them a target, I'll never forgive myself. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"The enemy of my enemies is supposed to be my friend, but I've become friends with my enemy and now we are a target, I'm afraid." Dad's face falls. He is thinking now of the trouble he's in because of me and not whatever else I may have brought in with me.
My heart clenches, and I want to scream and smash things. This can't be happening. There's no way we can defend against a Russian attack. Not alone, anyway.
"What have they done?" I ask timidly, my bottom lip quivering. I bite it to stymie the shaking, but my hands tremble instead.
Dad shakes his head and pulls his arm away. His hands clasp together in his lap, and Mom whimpers almost imperceptibly.
"There was an incident…" Dad's tongue flicks over his bottom lip, and he looks up at me. "Aria, Melody had a very close call on the street. Nothing happened, but she's shaken. She's gone to stay with family in Boston for a few weeks."
Dad doesn't have to say any more at all. Those sick bastards came after my sister and threatened her. Likely, they would have succeeded if Dad's men hadn't been there. She always has security wherever she goes, even now at my cousins' house where she is.
"Can I speak with her?" I ask, but Dad grimly shakes his head.
"She's distraught, Aria. After what's happened in the past few months, she needs some time alone." His hand pats my knee. "And I need to know you're safe, so I'm going to meet with your husband to align our families to fight against this foe we face." He stands and moves away, and I scowl in fear. What is he talking about?
"Papa, you can't fight the Russians." I stand, but he turns and holds up a hand. "I can't fight on my own, and my family cannot fight alone, but with the Ramiro alliance, we are stronger than any enemy in this city." He cups both of my cheeks. "Now promise me you will do as your husband says and be safe."
I can't answer him. My enemies come from within my family, not from outside. My enemy is one who may be playing both sides, and I'm the only one who even knows it.
"Promise me," he says sternly, jerking his head slightly.
"I promise," I tell him, but my mind is already at work thinking up a new plan. I have one last connection I can leverage to try to stop this. A friend by the name of Yuri Uhkov. And he may just be the one to save my life, because if Carlos Ramiro gets his way, I no longer trust that my family is safe under his leadership and I don't believe he will stop at humiliating Tito. I fear he wants my husband dead.