Chapter 29
ARIA
It turns out Ekaterina's home is closer to the office than ours. Or…Mikhail’s. Whoever's.
I can't think of it as my home anymore. Not now.
If only I had somewhere to go. A part of me feels as if it would be not only a betrayal, but an act of great cowardice. Yes, my husband used me. Yes, I've been betrayed. But I didn't make this commitment to him out of love. That only happened as a result of drawing close to him.
A lump rises in my throat, and I put a hand to my forehead. I don't want to cry. Not now. Not when I have so much to do.
A knock sounds at the guest room door. "Who's there?"
"It's me, Polina."
I open the door and let my sister-in-law in. She takes one look at me and gathers me into a huge hug. "I know, I know. But don't worry, you have to believe me, they get arrested all the time. It's fine, I promise. We have ways out. It's not what you think it is."
It's kinda sweet that she thinks I'm upset because Mikhail was arrested, although…I'm not immune to that either. The vision of my husband being taken away in handcuffs is something that I won't easily erase from my memory.
"You'll see, he knows how to get out. You just have to give him time. It's probably fucking killing him, knowing that you're here and he's there. He’s been glued to your side ever since you had those two lines on the test.”
I nod, turn away from her, and pace the room. "I understand. I know where you're coming from. How's your mother?"
Even in my own distress, I feel badly for her. It must not be easy seeing her sons go through something like this.
"Oh, Mom’s fine. She takes it all like a champ,” Polina says.
"And I think if she didn't already have completely silver hair, she’d get more gray. But you have to keep in mind, this stuff’s been going on for a really long time.
She's steeled herself against them. I mean, when Viktor was in grade school, he made the owners of this lemonade stand on the corner pay him protection money, and he’d guard their money.
It's kind of hilarious, when you think back on it.
And Nikko? Nikko was bad news. He's always been excellent at what he does.”
She pauses. “Not that you know what he does.
Uhm, not that I'm supposed to know, either.
But let's just say his skill with a weapon started long since before he was old enough to actually carry one.
And Lev got in trouble for some petty theft, but by the time he was old enough to get into real trouble – namely, drug dealing?
My father was traveling in Europe, and the older guys were all in charge.
And they put a very quick end to that. Not that they have any trouble with drugs, like don't get me wrong.
They're not exactly good guys? But they didn't want him to get involved with the wrong people.”
Polina continues her efforts to distract me.
“Viktor was always, and I mean always, always getting into street fights.
He always won, but my parents kept having to pay all these bills for like you know, medical bills and broken property and things like that.
" She shakes her head. "It's not easy raising a gang of mobsters.
So my mom, she's learned a lot along the way. "
Turns out, so has Polina.
“What did Mikhail do to get in trouble when he was younger?”
Why am I asking this? Why do I need to know?
She knits her brows together. “His escapades were more like…protecting people he cared about. Like if someone disrespected Mom or double-crossed Dad or something. He has always been so loyal and protective, to a fault.”
I swallow. “What do you mean?”
Why do I want to know?
“He always put other people’s needs above his own, to the point of neglecting sleep or food. And when he lost all those men in one night…”
I blink. “All those men in one night?”
“In the military? When his entire squad was killed? He’d been sleeping in a bunker after an all-night mission, and he came out to find they’d been bombed.
He lost all of his brothers, every damn one of them, including the very last one he found still unconscious.
He carried him on his back four miles to the nearest medic, only to have him die, too. ”
Oh. Oh, God. That’s awful.
“Ever since then he’s sort of just taken on this role of like…protector. Sometimes I wish he’d take better care of his own needs.” Leaning forward, she gives me a hug. “That’s why I’m so glad he has you. Finally, after all these years, he isn’t alone.”
Well that makes me feel like absolute shit. God.
She lets me go and gives my arms a little squeeze.
“Why don’t you join us for dinner.”
I hesitate. "Who's here?"
"Yeah, so…um, everyone. Mikhail made everybody take care of you when he got taken away.
Since he couldn't actually protect you himself, he did the next best thing.
As we speak, right outside this door, we have all of my brothers.
It's kind of ridiculous. I'm sure there are other things I'd like to do, but if they leave your side, when Mikhail gets out of jail, he would kill them. Literally kill them."
I draw in a breath and let it out.
Interesting. I have work to do, and I'm not very hungry. I'm not feeling social right now. Thankfully I have a pregnancy card I can use.
"Okay. Wow. So…it's been a long day, I'm tired.” I just don't feel like it.
There's a gentle knock on the door. When it opens, Ekaterina steps in and shuts it behind her. I've never seen her wearing jeans and a sweater, but she looks younger in them somehow. Her hair is still swept up in an elegant updo, but she doesn't have any makeup on, and she's wearing house slippers.
"How are you, Aria?"
I'm not good.
I don’t know how I’d actually leave him, but I am no longer giving myself to him. I will carry his baby, only because I'm being forced to. It doesn’t make sense for me to leave, because no matter where I go, he’ll find me. I’ll have his child.
But I need to find a way.
He called me an hour ago.
I let it go to voicemail.
"We’ll make you anything you want," Ekaterina says. "The boys want to make sure you're alright. Mikhail can be a little…overbearing."
You don't say.
“Are you hungry?” I am. My stomach growls as if to answer her.
“A little.” I have to play it casual. Even as I make my plans, though, my heart feels as if it’s been torn to pieces.
I thought he loved me, not just the idea of me.
I thought he cared for me, but it turns out I was wrong all along. He wanted a wife to fill a role and have his baby, and I was the most expedient choice.
I feel so used.
What will he do with me when I no longer suit his purpose?
When we open the door, I’m faced with a wall of stern, intimidating men that are all very familiar.
“Why hello, boys,” I say, barely tempering an eye roll. I can barely breathe for the phalanx of men standing in my way. “We’re going to get some lunch. Lunch, as in that meal between breakfast and dinner. You really don’t need to follow me.”
“We absolutely do,” Lev says, his arms crossed on his chest. “Rules.”
Right.
“First,” Ekaterina says, reaching for my arm and walking down the carpeted corridor with me, pretending like I’m not surrounded by a human forcefield.
“We have to get some food in you and take care of that baby, don’t we?
” She winks. I feel nauseous. Am I only a baby mama to all of them? “Then I have something to show you.”
Interesting.
As I step down the hall, I’m flanked on both sides by the guys. They walk as one, their steps synced. I notice Lev carries a weapon and his mother doesn’t even say anything. How strange. This is just normal for her, then.
There’s a small commotion outside the window. I’m reminded of our wedding day.
Our wedding day.
A pang hits my heart. He didn’t mean it.
As I walk, his brothers are an impenetrable wall. Even though they’re here to supposedly protect me there’s no way I’ll be able to find a way out. But if I could get onto one of their computers, I could maybe bypass security…I’d need to do it in a way that Aleks doesn’t realize.
I barely pay attention to what we’re eating. The food is tasteless, even though Ekaterina has done her best to get me everything I like. I’m thankful and tell her as much but my appetite is gone. Thankfully most people understand this about a pregnant woman.
“Got a call from Mikhail,” Lev says. Everyone looks his way. I try to pretend my heart isn’t hammering out of my chest.
“He’s got some connections, it seems.” He looks at me. “He’ll be home soon.”
“Thank you. I knew he would.”
I did, to be honest. Because whether I want to admit it or not, Mikhail isn’t exactly one to let his hands be tied – no, he’s the one that does any tying.
Lev speaks to Nikko in a low voice. They speak in Russian, but surprise, boys – I understand a bit of Russian now.
They’re talking about me.
I put down the remains of my sandwich and gingerly wipe my fingers on a paper towel.
It’s hard to participate in one conversation while listening in on another, but I manage to do it.
It helps that Polina is currently more concerned with telling me about the cute doctor with dimples on rotation who likes to wink at the nurses, while I’m listening to Lev talk to Kolya.
“Teper', kogda on zhenat, on neprikasaemyy.”
Now that he’s married, he’s untouchable.
Kolya nods.
“No rebenok prinosit bolshe bezopasnosti.”
But the baby brings more security.
They only solidify my greatest fear – I’m an object to be used, and my baby will be their prized possession.
“Aria?” I look up to Ekaterina’s hand on me. “Let’s go. It’s time I show you something.”