Chapter 20
Face the Music
LANIE
Baz and I went through the motions, but I remained a zombie.
I wanted to stay in this house since childhood.
I longed to feel connected to people I never met and places I never went.
Now rooted here, it all felt so hollow. Not only was this a ruse, but it was also almost shameful.
My siblings and mother didn’t know about this scheme.
And as we returned to London, I didn’t know how to handle it.
When we left Scotland, I felt physically ill. How would I begin to explain this? I wanted to run home, but could not. Nothing felt right. Everything made me uneasy.
“You look nervous,” Baz said. “If you’re having second thoughts—”
“No,” I said. “It’s not second thoughts. It’s… how do you explain to your family that you’re up to something like this?”
“You could tell them and then the ones who could come quickly for a small wedding can,” Baz shrugged.
“I don’t want that,” I said. “That’s the thing. If I tell anyone, they might come for you. Hell, my brother lives in London and would love to kick your ass! My mother has a quick temper and an even faster tongue.”
“I figured you got it from somewhere,” Baz chuckled.
“I cannot tell them. And yet, it all seems so bizarre.”
“It’s just a business decision, Lanie. It’s as you said.”
“Well, that’s right. And that’s all I want right now. Without my father to give me away…”
My voice trailed off as I fought a very vulnerable part of me. I didn’t know Baz well. I wasn’t sure he even cared about my emotional side. I worried he’d find me too messy. However, talking about Dad always sent me spiraling.
Baz put his computer away and turned, his eyes settling on me compassionately.
I continued cautiously. “When Daphne married Cal, my brother-in-law, they did it in front of the entire world. Cal and the sisters basically surprised Daphne with a wedding in a spot she knew well. The Cultural Center is iconic to Chicagoans. Daphne and Cal are like the prince and princess, you know? And Dad always loved the idea of them ending up together. So, to have him not be there and to miss it… I struggled to get through the day, Baz.”
“I imagine losing your father that late in your life feels altogether difficult than losing a parent at a young age.”
I reflected on his own loss. “I’m sure it is. I am sorry you lost your mother.”
“I don’t remember much of her beyond how lovely she always was. Sweet, compassionate, and everything my father is not. She was an ideal match, but…”
His words faded.
“What happened?” I asked.
“He changed. Her death broke him. Maybe he was no saint before, but he was nothing but cruel after,” Baz said.
“It got worse after he remarried, even if our lives stabilized a bit. Everything about my father’s lifestyle—his love of showy things, his desire to constantly travel and leave our stepmother home with us, his affairs—they all wore on her.
After she had Ellie, she was very sick, but everyone just pushed it aside It was as if marriage made him worse.
He married again out of obligation, but it made him angry. I do not want that.”
“So, my fears are about weddings and yours are about you becoming a monster because of a marriage of convenience? Baz, should we really be doing this?”
Baz shook his head. “I barely know you, Lanie. I don’t think I am capable of that cruelty, but unlike me, I know you are a good person. I would never want to hurt you.”
“I love that you think that, but… I am not a saint. After all, I was the one who tried to manipulate you first. I’ll remind you of how angry that made you only days ago,” I warned.
Baz paused in thought. “In retrospect, I now respect the hustle. You and I live for negotiation and winning games. We’re both motivated by never standing still and possess unacceptable amounts of bravado.
Lanie, we’re both adequately independent.
We value family, but don’t need obsessive handholding.
And while the age difference should give me pause, I need to produce kids and—”
“You’re a billionaire who isn’t going to settle for less than a hot piece of tail?” I asked.
It was a half-truth.
“I don’t like that,” Baz groaned.
“What?”
“You reducing yourself to that. Lanie, you are gorgeous. I’d be oblivious if I didn’t tell you that the sheer look of you excited me.
And watching you come unglued is the most rewarding experience.
I love undoing you. It’s not that. You aren’t a piece of tail.
You’re much more than that—even to me. Don’t ever make yourself seem petty or small.
I’m a little cross you didn’t tell me about your big break. Offended, even.”
I grinned. “I will tell you over dinner sometime.”
“Good. I would like that very much. Lanie, I can push back on the wedding date. If we’re lucky, we can buy ourselves a few week and the old bastard is in the sod before we even choose a cake flavor or whatever.”
I snickered. “No. While I hope he does for your sake—for all of ours—I don’t want that.
I find the idea of a big wedding painful.
If we ever manage to properly make this work and want to renew our vows, we can throw a big party.
By then, my family will adore you and Mum will want to host it at Braemoor.
We could have a lovely late summer blow out.
But I don’t want that. Even with the idea we could get a church wedding—”
“About that,” Baz said. “Father is quite angry, but our priest couldn’t accomplish that. He’d offer us something to legitimate our marriage so we could baptize our children, but that’s all he could give us. I found out this morning. I was worried it would only add to your stress—”
“A convalidation is the word you seek. Baz, how do you not know any of this?”
“How do you?”
“My mother is a devout Catholic. Braemoor’s history is storied because it was a Catholic stronghold. I was drug to mass regularly and went to parochial school.”
“I only went to parochial school when I was very young, then switched to a public school where I only attended mass as needed.”
“Wild,” I said. “My mother would have a heart attack hearing that. Her father is rolling in the grave. I do not give a shit, but I know it’s a requirement for the title. And it’s history and all that shit. But I don’t feel right exchanging such vows if I don’t mean them.”
“Says the actress.”
“It’s acting. It’s fiction,” I said.
“Let’s just go to registrar and get married, then,” Baz said. “Keep it simple. We already have the documentation to file for the special license. So, we should be able to wed quickly. What’s done is done, right? They can complain, but it’s done.”
“And if your dad doesn’t agree?”
“He’ll be dead soon. We can tell him we were trying to fall pregnant and couldn’t wait any longer.
He doesn’t care about having a big wedding—clearly.
He just wants this all to fall apart spectacularly so he can take me down a peg or give his favorite child carte blanche to destroy the place.
But what he doesn’t realize is that the second option would destroy the life of the only person who ever cared about him. ”
“You and Ellie deserve better,” I said. “Let’s not give him that satisfaction. Let’s play the game. Tell me where and when to meet you at the registry office and I will be there.”
“Why don’t we meet there tomorrow and then I can take you out for a glorious lunch after?”
“I’d be down, but I have to be done by three,” I said. “I have costume fittings.”
“Fine.”
I turned back to him with one last question. “Why does the old bastard call you Four, Baz?”
Baz sighed. “Uh… I’m the fourth of my name. I am merely an extension of him.”
My heart sank for Baz.
“Oh’s he’s a bastard, as you said. Ignoring him is the best way forward.”