Chapter 39
The Interim
LANIE
“We’re in buttfuck, babes,” Chloe looked around the yard where we set up.
I held an umbrella over both of us, waiting for a classic kiss-in-the-rain op.
“It’s beautiful, though. I stay in town,” I said. “You’ll think the cottage is cute. Promise.”
“So, let’s go out and get a drink then! A real pub with real people.”
I needed to tell the truth. Chloe was my best friend, but I felt isolated. I knew she’d think having a baby with Baz was mental. I spent days trying to hide my pregnancy from everyone, even if all I wanted was to feel supported. Now, she was here, and I needed to say something but couldn’t.
“We’re resetting!”
I turned to a PA. “The boss has spoken. Here.”
I handed Chloe the umbrella and raced over to the one the PA held out between takes.
I snapped back into action, standing again in the rain with Harrison.
We took our places—twenty feet apart. I was supposed to run to him, my dress clinging to me in a romantic, somewhat-sexy way.
He was supposed to lift and kiss me before putting me back down.
Unfortunately, he had yet to nail it, afraid to drop me.
“You… came?” My voice trembled.
“Of course, Annie,” Harrison called. “I would never leave you. I made a promise to you.”
“You didn’t have to,” I protested.
“I am yours, Annie. I came back for you.”
I hesitated for a moment before racing towards him.
This time, Harrison picked me up, spinning me around in a triumphant kiss before setting me back on my feet.
He thumbed my cheeks and wiped my tears—mixed with the rain pouring down my face.
I fought the urge to close my eyes since now the rain pelted us hard.
I prayed this was our last take because I was freezing.
“Annd… cut!” Leah announced. “Fabulous! That’s it for the day. Thanks, everyone!”
“Fucking yes,” Harrison laughed. “Brilliant.”
Chloe came up, a wide smile crossing her face. “Babes, that was amazing! You are so good at this.”
I blushed. “It’s… just… my job.”
“Miss Day, let’s get you dry!” A wardrobe assistant worried.
She fussed more than ever these days. We already had to let out costumes in the bust just to make them tolerable. My tits were constantly on fire. After a change of clothes and time with a hair dryer, I was good as new and headed back to my cottage with Chloe.
“What’s going on?” Chloe asked, reading me well.
“I… I have an appointment,” I said. “You don’t have to come with me, but I was hoping you would.”
She cocked her head. “What? Why? Oh my God! Are you finally freezing your eggs?”
“What? No! I don’t need to worry about it now. Promise.”
“Oh. Well, I heard you cancel the thing a couple times now, so I figured you were up to that. Did you finally do it? No judgment. I know you’re with Baz, but it makes sense. Because… things with him are complicated and your career is taking off. Why ruin it? Give yourself time.”
My face dropped and she gathered what was going on without a word.
“Oh, Lanie, I’m… shit,” Chloe stammered. “Did you really? And… are we happy about it?”
“I don’t want to hear why it’s stupid or whatever. Baz is… he’s trustworthy even if you don’t believe me. We threw caution to the wind. We didn’t expect it this fast, but it’s fine. I wanted this.”
“And how does he feel?”
Voice prickly, I responded. “He’s fine. He’s supportive. He’s buying me a house.”
“He doesn’t need to buy you things. He needs to be a father.”
“We’re not like that, okay?” I shrugged. “It’s fine. He is excited. He cares, even if he’s not there every day talking to my stomach. We aren’t those people. I don’t want that. I don’t need him to be obsessed like Davey is with Eva.”
Chloe snickered. “The man loves her when she’s pregnant—most of all.”
“It’s fucking weird.”
“No, it’s not. I think it’s cringe, but adorable. If I ever have babies, that is the way I want it to be. It’s okay to not want that, but… babe, c’mon!”
“He’s a good man, believe it or not,” I said.
“He will be a fine father. He will take care of us and let me raise this child the way I should. It’s okay to do it differently.
And… I was planning on doing this alone if it didn’t happen with a man in a couple of years.
At least this way, the kid will have two parents, right?
You are the one who told me not to wait around for a man! ”
She sighed. “I firmly believe you are meant to be a mother and I will support the hell out of you, Lanie. However, I worry that Baz is not grown enough to be a good dad.”
“I think you will be surprised,” I said, hoping it was true.
“So, do we get to see the baby?” Chloe changed the subject. “Is it this sort of appointment?”
“Yes. Baz isn’t here because I didn’t attempt to consider his wild schedule. I figured I’d have you, you know?”
She squeezed my hand excitedly. “Well, regardless of my reservations, you know I am here for you. You’re going to be an amazing mom, Lanie. I just know it.”
I beamed. “And you will be the best auntie!”
BAZ
“There you are!” Caleb chuckled, giving me a hug and a pat on the back. “He’s not dead!”
I rolled my eyes. “I have been out of the country.”
“Likely story. Look, I hope you don’t mind that I have someone joining me.”
My stomach turned. It was predictably Caleb. As he explained his girl-du-jour—a model named June—was in town from a job in Paris and she brought her friend, my focus filtered elsewhere. My mobile buzzed. Lanie’s face popped up with a dubious look. It was her avatar. I hated how much I loved it.
“Oh, c’mon. You’re not locked down are you? If you didn’t tell me—”
“What?” I turned back to Caleb.
“The Wife,” he said. “Why?”
“Oh, she put it in my phone like that. She was just fucking around,” I said. “It’s just how she is. Funny.”
“Please do not be boring.”
“Caleb, I came out to dinner to catch up. That is all. She’s not locking me down, but just because you offer me a new catch doesn’t mean I will take it. I don’t need you to bring me women. I could find them if I wanted to.”
“And you don’t?”
“I don’t have time.” I lied. The truth? I only wanted Lanie. I didn’t thirst after other women like I did her. While I hated this version of me existed, I longed to have her with me even now.
I snapped open my phone, revealing her text.
LANIE
Got back from dinner.
ME
And are you alright? How did today go?
LANIE
It’s good. Morning sickness is okay and Chloe is here. We had a nice dinner.
ME
Good.
I worried that every time she saw Chloe I was about to be thrown under the bus.
Yes, Chloe had reasons to doubt our unconventional relationship was even remotely healthy, but I was trying to make it better.
I wanted to take care of Lanie. Then, as I wondered what to say, she sent an unmistakable photo.
LANIE
So, that’s the baby. He or she is doing well.
It took me a moment to ground myself as I took in the sight of our child—the first pictures I’d seen. Meanwhile, Caleb only wanted to drag me.
“What, Baz? Is she sexting you? She would, wouldn’t she?”
I turned back, trying to shake it off. “Not really. That isn’t much my thing. You know I don’t live on my phone.”
“Untrue. You are always on your email.”
True.
LANIE
Sorry. If you don’t want to hear about it, I won’t bother you.
She was hurt. I needed to text back, but I knew no matter what I said, it wouldn’t be good enough.
ME
No, I did. I’m with Caleb and he’s talking my ear off. I’m happy for you, Lanie.
LANIE
For us?
She caught me off guard. Yes. Lanie was right. It was our baby. We’d both made this thing.
LANIE
It’s your heir.
ME
It’s my child. It’s our child.
I protested, but then, needed to soften my words.
ME
I’m happy for this. I am glad the baby is well. Are you?
LANIE
I’m fine, but I miss you.
ME
I miss you, too.
For once, I let my fingers outpace my brain and didn’t care. I missed her every time I left or she returned to Wales. I worried about her leaving for Chicago soon and this being done the minute our baby was delivered. I wanted to hold onto her and this feeling for as long as I could.
“Mate, what is going on?” Caleb laughed.
“Oh, she was sick,” I lied. “I needed to check in.”
As I said it, two beautiful women approached.
I realized I’d have to take care of this other woman and act cool all evening.
Meanwhile, my wife was in Wales celebrating the health of our baby.
It felt altogether dirty and underhanded, but what could I do?
I was certain in a few months, she’d insist we go back to the game.
Would I just box myself out and lose Caleb’s friendship and partnership for being lovesick over a woman who didn’t love me?
I chose to persist, even if I now had reservations.