Chapter 18
Connor
The past two weeks at McGrath ranch had been more difficult than I thought possible.
After Pete had Sam kicked off the ranch for a crime I know he didn’t commit, the entire place went into lockdown.
Every night our bunks were checked by Pete himself.
And then again, every morning. When the working day was done, we were required to go to the bunkhouse and stay there.
No visits, to walks, and definitely no sneaking off to bonfires with other local ranch hands.
I felt like I was in prison again.
However, Pete couldn’t force us to stay on the ranch on Sundays or our days off. Every single one of the ex-cons opted to go to church on Sunday mornings as a way to appease Pete’s ferocity. But I had another reason.
Ryder. He kept going to church on Sundays too, despite no longer living on the ranch.
However, he did not sit with his father.
In fact, he refused to even acknowledge Pete’s existence.
That, of course, drove Pete mad. At first, I didn’t understand why Ryder would continue to come.
He wasn’t religious from what he’d told me.
But that’s not what it was about. It was a power move.
By going to church, he stayed in the eyes of the community, let them see the bruise on his throat, and let them draw their own conclusions when Ryder refused to sit near or even talk to his father.
Hell Creek was buzzing before the first service ended.
And it didn’t stop. That constant chatter followed Pete everywhere.
Every time he went into town, he came back in a worse mood than he was before.
And the best part? He wouldn’t allow us off the ranch, so he couldn’t blame the rumors on us.
I just sat back, fixing fences, roping cattle, and listening to Pete huff while his world slowly crumbled around him.
I almost felt bad about how much I enjoyed watching him suffer.
Almost.
But not quite.
I hadn’t seen Ryder outside of church for two weeks now because of Pete’s tantrums. We’d managed to exchange a few notes, slipped between hymnals or passed through Evelyn, but it wasn’t enough.
I missed his touch, his smell, the way he melted when I called him a good boy.
Every Sunday, I watched him from across the sanctuary, our eyes meeting briefly before one of us would look away, careful not to draw attention.
Today was different, though. Today was my day off. And I was free to do whatever the fuck I wanted, including the boss’s son.
I woke before dawn, excitement thrumming through my veins despite my attempts to remain calm.
Ryder’s last note mentioned that Evelyn would pack us a picnic lunch, and he would pick me up at the edge of McGrath property, far from prying eyes.
We’d spend the day at a secluded spot on Nelson Ranch where Cole and Jesse had given us permission to be.
It would be our first real time alone together since everything had happened.
I dressed carefully, trying not to wake anyone.
But as I headed for the door, I glanced back to see one of the guys already awake.
Joey gave me a knowing look as I slipped out of the bunkhouse, but he just nodded and curled back up under his blankets.
The other guys had started covering for me without me even asking.
They all knew something was going on, though none of them mentioned Ryder by name.
It was an unspoken alliance against Pete, forged in the aftermath of Sam’s departure. Even Larry was in on it.
The morning air was crisp as I made my way across the property, keeping to the shadows of the barns and outbuildings. Pete would still be asleep at this hour, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Not when freedom, both for the day and my future, was so close I could taste it.
I reached the fence line just as the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon.
The boundary between McGrath Ranch and the neighboring property was marked by a barbed wire fence that had seen better days.
I easily slipped between the strands and crossed into neutral territory, feeling the tension leave my shoulders with each step away from McGrath land.
Ten minutes later, I spotted Ryder’s truck idling on the old logging road, just where he promised he’d be. My pace quickened despite myself, and when I opened the passenger door and slid inside, the smile that broke across his face was worth every risk.
“Hey,” he said, his voice soft with affection.
“Hey yourself,” I replied, drinking in the sight of him. His hair was slightly longer than it had been, curling at the edges, and he’d gotten some sun. The bruise on his throat had faded completely, leaving only golden skin behind.
“I missed you,” he admitted, reaching across to take my hand.
I squeezed his fingers, allowing myself this small indulgence. “I missed you too, pup.”
He shivered at the nickname, his pupils dilating slightly. “We should go,” he said, reluctantly pulling his hand away.
I nodded, settling back in my seat as he put the truck in gear. My body hummed with anticipation, every nerve ending alive with the knowledge that we’d have hours together, uninterrupted.
“How’s it been at the ranch?” Ryder asked as we bumped along the dirt road, putting distance between us and McGrath land.
“Miserable,” I admitted, watching his profile as he drove. “Your father’s on a rampage. Has everyone walking on eggshells.”
Ryder’s jaw tightened. “I heard he fired two of the regular hands last week.”
“Yep,” I confirmed. “They stood up for Joey when Pete accused him of stealing tools. Joey didn’t take anything, of course. But when they proved Pete wrong… well, he lost his shit. He’s just looking for excuses now to come after anyone.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “This is all because of me.”
I reached over, resting my hand on his thigh. “None of this is your fault. Your father’s digging his own grave. He’s firing people faster than he can replace them, and word’s spreading to other ranches. Soon nobody is going to want to work for him.”
A small, satisfied smile tugged at Ryder’s lips. “Good. Maybe he’ll finally learn he can’t treat people like disposable trash.”
We fell into comfortable silence as Ryder navigated the back roads. The morning sun bathed the landscape in golden light, the mountains in the distance sharp and clear against the blue sky. I rolled down my window, letting the fresh air wash over me. Freedom. Even temporary, it tasted sweet.
“How’s the job at Nelson’s working out?” I asked after a while.
Ryder’s face brightened. “Better than I expected. Jesse’s been teaching me the business side of things. Says I have a knack for it.”
“Not surprised,” I said, watching pride bloom across his features. “You’re smart. Just needed someone to give you a chance to prove it.”
His cheeks flushed at the compliment. “Jesse says the same thing. He and Cole have been... they’ve been like family. The kind that supports you instead of tears you down.”
“You deserve that,” I told him. The sincerity in my voice surprised even me.
Ryder glanced over, his eyes soft. “We’re almost there.”
He turned the truck onto a narrow path I wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t pointed it out, the branches of pine trees scraping against the sides as we pushed deeper into the woods.
After a few minutes, the trees opened up to reveal a small clearing beside a creek, the water sparkling in the morning light.
“Cole used to come here to fish when he was a kid,” Ryder explained as he parked. “He and Jesse fixed up the old cabin earlier this year.” He nodded toward a small structure nestled among the trees that I hadn’t noticed at first.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, taking in the secluded spot. It was perfect for us, hidden away from prying eyes, from anyone that might try to interrupt our time together.
The cabin itself was small but well-maintained, with a fresh coat of dark green paint and a sturdy wooden porch. A weathered picnic table sat near the creek, already set with a checkered blanket and the basket Evelyn had promised.
“They said we could use it whenever we want,” Ryder continued, grabbing a backpack from behind his seat. “It’s got electricity and running water. They even stocked the mini fridge.”
I stepped out of the truck, inhaling deeply.
The air smelled of pine and fresh water, so different from the dusty, manure-tinged atmosphere of the ranch.
Birds called to each other in the trees, and the gentle babble of the creek provided a soothing backdrop.
For the first time in weeks, I felt my shoulders fully relax.
“Come here,” I said, holding out my hand.
Ryder came to me without hesitation, his fingers intertwining with mine. I pulled him close, one hand moving to cup his jaw as I kissed him properly for the first time in two weeks. He melted against me immediately, a small whimper escaping his throat as his free hand clutched at my shirt.
“God, I missed you,” I murmured against his lips.
“You have no idea,” he replied, pressing his forehead to mine. “These past two weeks have been torture.”
I ran my thumb along his cheekbone, studying his face like I was trying to memorize it. “You look good. Nelson life seems to agree with you.”
“It’s better than home ever was,” he admitted. “But it’s still not...” He trailed off, his eyes dropping to my lips.
“Not what?” I prompted.
“It’s not enough,” he whispered. “Not without seeing you.”
The confession wrapped around my heart, squeezing it tight.
I kissed him again, deeper this time, trying to convey everything I couldn’t say with words.
His body pressed against mine, warm and solid and real.
After two weeks of stolen glances and secret notes, having him in my arms felt like coming home.
“We’ve got all day,” I reminded him when we finally broke apart. “Let’s not rush.”
Ryder nodded, his pupils already dilated with desire. “Evelyn packed us breakfast too. Said we’d need our strength.”
I laughed, releasing him reluctantly. “Smart woman. She knows us too well.”
We carried the picnic basket and Ryder’s backpack to the cabin.
Inside was simple but comfortable. There was a small living area with a couch and woodstove, a kitchenette with the promised mini fridge, and through an open door, I glimpsed a bedroom with a queen-sized bed covered in a patchwork quilt.
“Cole and Jesse use it as a getaway,” Ryder explained, setting the basket on a small dining table. “When the main house gets too busy with ranch hands and visitors.”
“It’s perfect,” I said, meaning it. The cabin was a dream come true and more homey than anything I’d seen in years, maybe in my entire life. “It’s a palace.”
“I don’t know about that…”
“I do,” I nodded, looking around. “I lived on the streets since I was fourteen years old. Believe me, this place is amazing.”
Ryder cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t know that…”
“There’s a lot of things about me you don’t know,” I said, my grin fading a little. “And something I’m not sure I want you to know.”
Ryder reached out and took my hand, his touch gentle yet grounding. “I want to know everything about you, Connor. The good and the bad.”
I looked away, uncomfortable with his earnestness. Seven years in prison had taught me that vulnerability was a weakness others could exploit. But this was Ryder. He’d already shown me more of himself than I had any right to see. I figured I owed him the same trust.
“My parents lost the apartment when I was fourteen,” I said, the words feeling rusty in my mouth.
“They were both pretty heavily into drugs and spent more time high than they did working to pay the bills. The landlord had us evicted, turned out onto the street with nothing but the clothes on our backs.”
“Jesus,” Ryder whispered, his grip on my hand tightening.
“Lived in shelters when I could, under bridges when I couldn’t.
I’m not sure where my parents went. They forgot about me the moment the cravings kicked in and I was on my own.
” I shrugged like it was nothing, though we both knew it wasn’t.
“Started running drugs and turning tricks to survive. Got caught. Spent time in juvie. Got out. Repeated the cycle. Eventually I got out of it and started performing with a troupe. Then I met the asshole that set me up. You know how that went.”
Ryder stepped closer, his green eyes searching mine. “How did you make it through all that?”
“Same way anyone survives,” I said. “One day at a time I guess.”
He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. I stiffened for a moment before letting myself hold him back, my hands splaying across his warm back.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he murmured against my skin.
“Don’t be,” I replied, resting my chin on his head. “It made me who I am.”
We stood like that for a long moment, the quiet of the cabin wrapping around us.
The weight of his body against mine felt right in a way I couldn’t explain.
For someone who’d spent most of his life alone, this connection should have terrified me.
Instead, I was beginning to need it more than the air in my lungs.
“Come on,” I said finally, pulling back slightly. “Let’s see what Evelyn packed for breakfast.”
Ryder smiled, a soft, genuine expression that made something twist in my chest. “She outdid herself this time. I watched her pack half the kitchen.”
We unpacked the basket, laying out a feast on the small table. Fresh biscuits still warm from the oven, thick slices of ham, jars of homemade jam, boiled eggs, and a thermos of hot coffee. There was even a container of mixed berries with cream for dessert.
“She’s trying to fatten me up,” I joked, pouring coffee into the mugs Ryder had found in the cupboard.
“You could use it,” he replied, eyeing my frame. “Prison didn’t exactly leave you with extra padding.”
I laughed, the sound surprising me with its ease. “True enough. Though I’ve put on some muscle since coming to the ranch. Hard work and three squares a day will do that.”
I lifted my arms, flexing for Ryder. His jaw fell open, his eyes raking over me with a hunger that I knew far too well.
“Come on,” I muttered, pushing him toward the table. “Food first, then sex.”