2. Joss
Chapter 2
Joss
I put all the dishes away and then started on dinner. That was the agreement I made with any of my friends who let me couch surf between live-in jobs. I cooked and cleaned in exchange for a place to sleep.
For most of my friends, that worked great.
But with Abel, it was exhausting. How one person could be such a slob was hard to conceive. It was like he purposely left shit behind just so I could clean up after him. I might have been resentful if I thought that was what he was actually doing, but he wasn’t. His place always looked like a hoarder’s haven, even when I wasn’t around.
Abel just didn’t think about things like putting trash in the garbage or washing dishes within two or three days of dirtying them. He grew up with money and servants, and never quite got the hang of being responsible for things like cleaning the toilet or putting moldy food in the trash instead of leaving it in the fridge forever.
And speaking of, the front door opened and the running dialogue of his entire day began.
I stared at him with as much fake interest as I could muster, throwing in all the appropriate wows and you’re kidding and assholes comments I could before he finally took a breath and looked around the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?”
“I was thinking of enchiladas. Does that sound good?”
He clasped his hands together in front of his chest and swallowed. “Yes. That sounds delicious. I’m gonna go take a shower. Call me if you need anything.”
As soon as he disappeared, I noticed that Abel had left his work bag on the kitchen table, an empty drink cup from his lunch, most likely, and a small handful of change that he must’ve pulled out of his pocket for some reason.
I cleaned up the table again before I started pulling out ingredients for enchiladas. I’d already done the prep work, including shredding a rotisserie chicken so I didn’t have to grill it first, so all that was left was to quickly assemble them and throw them in the oven.
As soon as that was going, I followed the trail of shoes and clothes that Abel had left on his way to the bathroom and picked everything up before dropping onto the couch to check my phone. I’d just delivered an updated milk sample to the brotherhood a few days earlier, so I was hoping they might have some live-in matches for me to meet with.
There were seventy-five new emails since I’d checked that morning, so I started thumbing through them to see if any of the jobs looked legit. Most were off-the-book private sessions that I wasn’t completely against, but I preferred to have just a single client to keep everything safe.
Abel wandered out of his room wearing just a pair of boxers and mumbled something about a customer who threatened to sue him, but I was too distracted by a new email to pay attention.
“Oh my god.” I read through the message again, making sure I wasn’t missing a key detail.
Abel thought I was talking about what he’d just said and huffed. “What? I wasn’t even mean about it. All I said was?—”
“No, not that.” I cut him off, not interested in rehashing his tale of woe. I read through it one more time to be extra sure I was getting all the points right. “I think I just got matched.”
He sat down at the kitchen table and looked at me. “For a date?”
“No, a job. It’s live-in, so I’d be out of your hair, and the salary is at the premium rate. I’ve never earned that much before in my life.” Usually, the premium rate was reserved for difficult clients who couldn’t keep their staff because they were such nightmares to work with. It was definitely concerning, but no one could be more difficult to look after than Abel.
“Congrats. That sounds like a sweet gig.”
I glanced at my watch and groaned. “Fuck! They just closed.” I sighed deeply just as the oven timer went off. “I guess I’ll know more tomorrow.”
Abel pulled open the bag of tortilla chips I’d left on the table and emptied it into the bowl I put beside it. I handed him the guacamole before plating portions of enchiladas. A few minutes later, we were both quietly eating at the table.
My thoughts were on the gig that seemed like a perfect fit, while Abel was probably thinking about all the people who’d wronged him in the world. The reality was that he was just very high maintenance and didn’t understand what it meant to be a service worker.
Eventually, he came up for air and seemed to remember what we were just talking about. “What does it mean to be matched? Does that mean you both swiped right or something?”
I chuckled and reached for a handful of chips. “Nah, it just means the kind of job I’m looking for has become available, and I’m likely to be a good fit for it.”
He shoveled a huge bite into his mouth and nodded. “Oh, that’s cool.”
“Yeah, it would be, but there are no guarantees. I still have to meet with the client and see their accommodations. Since it’s a live-in job, we both have to be comfortable living together before they can make an offer and I can accept one.”
“Have you ever been denied a job because they didn’t like you?” Abel belched and then reached for his water.
“Probably, but they don’t tell us why we don’t get a job. Usually, there are a few of us interviewing, so I don’t really know the reason if I don’t get selected. It could just be that they don’t like the taste of my milk or the schedules aren’t fully in alignment.” I shrugged and reached for my phone again, even though I knew there wouldn’t be a response until morning. “In this case, it’s working with a baby, so I hope it works out. Those are my favorite jobs.”
Abel just shook his head as he loaded up guacamole on a chip. “I don’t know how you do it, Joss. I can’t stand kids. They’re just so…needy.”
“Yeah, I guess when you’re the neediest of all, it’s annoying to have competition.”
“Exactly.” He shrugged, fully acknowledging his shortcomings. It’s good to be self-aware.
“I just love that they’re so sweet and innocent. And they love you back no matter what. It’s like having a puppy but way better.”
He cringed even harder. “A puppy? Those things shit everywhere. My sister just got one and already regrets it.”
“Yeah, that’s why babies are better. They’re all diapered up and self-contained. You can take them anywhere.”
He popped the last bite of enchilada into his mouth and got up for seconds. “Clearly, you aren’t eating in the same kind of restaurants I’m eating in because you should definitely not take a baby anywhere.”
Ignoring him, I brought up my mail app, just in case there was a response. To my surprise, there was. They must’ve really been anxious to fill this job if people were working late. “I have an interview. It says I have to be completely nut and mushroom free for twenty-four hours and then the client would like to meet with me.”
“Mushrooms? Oh, for fuck’s sake. Are mushrooms not PC anymore?”
I shoved his shoulder as I walked past him. “My guess is someone in the household is allergic to mushrooms, and having to be nut-free is pretty common in my line of work.”
“You’re a better man than me, Joss.”
I laughed at that. It was totally true, but Abel very rarely verbalized it. “I know. I’m the one who washes your sheets, remember?”
“Get used to it, milkman. You’re gonna be dealing with a lot more than spooge when you're a full-time nanny.”
God, I hoped so. I washed my plate and left it in the drain board. “Do you need anything else right now? I might go for a run.”
“Nah, get out of here. I’ve got a date tonight, so I may or may not see you before tomorrow.”
“All right. Have fun, and be safe.”
He winked and then blew a kiss in my direction. “Safe, yes. But fun, I’ll let you know.”
I got changed then went outside to jump on the green belt that ran behind Abel’s condo. Once I got into a good rhythm, I took an inventory of everything I had eaten in the past twenty-four hours. No nuts or mushrooms were in my dinner. My sandwich at lunch was a BLT, so nothing unusual there, and all I had for breakfast was a sausage and egg bagel with… Dammit. An almond-milk latte. That was at 9 AM. That meant, as long as I scheduled my interview for sometime after nine or ten tomorrow, I would be fine. Besides, they didn’t always want to do a milk sample in the first interview. It was possible they just wanted to meet with a few people before making decisions about testing.
Either way, I’d find out in the morning.