23. Kara
23
KARA
I woke early to a brilliant pink-and-gold sunrise spearing through the trees of the woods outside Hawk’s bedroom window.
And to his warm body hard against the back of mine.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to risk waking him. He’d been exhausted when he’d brought me to his bed, and had fallen asleep nearly instantly. While I’d huddled on the far side of the mattress and cried silently until I’d eventually fallen asleep too.
Hawk mumbled something in his sleep, and his arm flopped across me, drawing me closer. Slowly, he thrust his hips against my backside.
He was hard.
I bit down on my lip, my brain short-circuiting with a mixture of fear…
And something else a whole lot more pleasurable.
He was so very warm. And his bed was soft and comfortable. The couch had been cold and miserable and lonely .
Hawk’s bed was the complete opposite.
I knew I should have woken him. Or moved away, but I was already on the edge of the mattress, and there was nowhere for me to go unless I got out of bed completely.
I didn’t want to sit alone in the main room and remember that my sister was dead, my daughter was scared of me, and I had nowhere to go.
So I closed my eyes and pretended I wasn’t awake.
Hawk thrust his hips again, and his palm flat to my belly. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to wake and realize I wasn’t Amber or Kiki or one of the other skinny club girls he normally had in his bed. They didn’t have an ounce of fat on them. He’d feel the difference soon enough.
But in his sleepy state, he clearly didn’t notice. His hand slid up beneath my shirt to cup my breast.
I fought the tightening in my chest, keeping my breathing slow and steady.
His thumb rubbed absently over my nipple, and instantly it hardened for him.
Nice feelings spread from his touch, taking me by surprise.
He buried his face in my hair and the back of my neck, his deep, slow breathing telling me he was still mostly asleep, even if he was touching me like he wasn’t.
His hand left my breast, and I wanted to cry for the loss of his touch.
But then it slipped below the waistband of my skirt, and without any warning, straight into my panties to cup me between the legs.
I swallowed down a gasp of shock, fear threatening to rise inside me, the way it did every time Josiah touched me.
Except his touch had never felt like this. It had never been gentle.
Hawk’s fingers found the tiny bundle of nerves between my legs and circled it gently, nudging at it with his fingertips while his hips rocked against me from behind. The two actions slowly started a rhythm, one Hawk clearly knew well enough to be instinct.
His finger swept lower, through the slick wetness that had formed between my lower lips, and then it slid inside me.
I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed at the foreign feeling of pleasure instead of pain.
“Always so wet for me, baby,” he mumbled. “Fucking want you.”
Through my hair, his lips found the skin at the back of my neck, and he licked the tender spot, while inhaling deep. He withdrew his fingers from inside me just long enough to tug the elastic waistband of my skirt and panties down, baring my behind beneath the covers.
He fumbled with his sleep shorts, pulling them down low enough that his erection sprang free, thick, hard, and hot.
In the next second, it was between my legs, pushing between my thighs, seeking my entrance. His hand went back to my clit, rubbing and stroking it, faster this time, sending little spirals of awareness through my entire system.
He thrust between my legs, not penetrating me, but every movement coating his erection in the slick fluid seeping from inside me .
I’d never felt anything like it.
The feeling grew until I was panting, pressing my behind back against his hard body, and God forgive me, encouraging his actions.
“Need to be inside you, baby,” he groaned. “Need your tight, wet cunt around my cock. Need to feel you gushing on it when you come.”
“Oh,” I moaned, my tongue wanton with need and pleasure. “Hawk!”
Hawk froze behind me.
In an instant, his warmth disappeared. His fingers abandoned my clit. His dick disappeared from rimming my entrance.
“Kara? What the fuck…?”
The swirling, pleasurable feeling obliterated at the confusion in his tone. At the disgust.
I snatched my skirt and yanked it up, struggling out from beneath the covers. I’d never been so mortified in my life. My face burned with embarrassment, my body completely flushed from the way his touch had made me feel. The cool morning air hit me hard as I stumbled out of Hawk’s bed, but it did nothing to take away the fire that was engulfing me whole.
The one that Hawk had lit like I was tinder, and he was a match.
The man would burn me alive.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, fleeing the room.
Hawk groaned, “Fuck, Kara. Wait.”
But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to turn back and look at him and see the horror on his face after realizing it was me he’d been touching and not one of the other women who normally frequented his bed .
I couldn’t bear it.
I ran from the clubhouse, into the woods, and kept on going until I couldn’t hear his shouts any longer.