Chapter 14 Carter
Chapter fourteen
Carter
I’m pulled from reliving my dinner with Kelsey last night by my phone ringing—it seems like someone is always trying to get ahold of me these days.
“Hi, Bill,” I say, answering the call from the man helping my mom. I quickly do the mental calculations of how long I can talk to him before needing to leave for tonight’s concert. Fortunately, we are essentially next door, so I have enough time to chat.
“How’s Ireland?” he asks.
“You’re a day off. We’re in London tonight and will make the journey to Dublin bright and early tomorrow before his show tomorrow night.”
“Ah, right,” Bill says, the sound of paper shuffling coming through the line. “That is what your detailed schedule says.”
“I just wanted to make sure you knew where you could find me in case Mom needed me for anything.”
I cover the mouthpiece of my phone as Jaxon’s assistant Annie asks me about moving Jaxon’s leave time back five minutes.
“Is that Kelsey?” Bill asks once my attention is back on our conversation.
“Really? You too?”
“What?” he says innocently.
“You know what.”
“She’s a nice girl. You used to think she was more than nice. I don’t see why you couldn’t do that again.”
Having feelings for the woman you’re supposed to be competing against is a major inconvenience. Ten out of ten do not recommend.
It’s similar to the number who would not recommend working with your asshole brother. Turns out, I’m shit at listening to the recommendations of others.
I’m still seething from my call with Trent last night.
After learning I was out to dinner with Kelsey from one of the guys on our team, he called to make sure I knew what was at stake here.
He went so far as to threaten that if we don’t win this contract, he’ll let me go and replace me with someone cheaper.
He sounded serious enough that I’m treating it as a credible threat.
Fortunately, I’d stepped out onto the street after he called me two times in a row.
Unfortunately, after assuring him nothing is going on between Kelsey and me for what felt like forever, my temper got the best of me, and I yelled, “I don’t know why you’re making this such a big deal.
There’s no way we’re losing this contract to Kelsey! ”
As fate would have it, Kelsey had apparently given up on waiting for me in the restaurant by that point, and when I turned back around, she was leaning against the door, watching me.
In the same black jumpsuit as last time we went out to eat, her back was pressed against the brick wall of the building along with the sole of one of her black boots.
As I quickly hung up with Trent, I kept my eyes trained on hers, looking for any sign of how she was feeling.
I was greeted with nothing but cool indifference—the mask I finally thought I’d earned the chance to look behind.
That indifference hadn’t thawed since.
“Carter?” Bill’s voice comes through from the phone, pulling me back to the present.
“It was a teenage crush. That’s not how it is now. It’s”—I pause to think—“complicated.”
Complicated is the understatement of the century.
Spending time with Kelsey is torture in the most painfully enjoyable of ways.
My brain screams at me that she is my competition, the one thing that could make me unable to be in Wild Bluffs and financially support my mom.
My heart and my body, though, tend to break through the barrier my brain has erected, focusing on her twirling that small strand of hair at the back of her neck or the way she always smells crisp and warm.
Which aren’t even smells!
“Everything I have that is worth anything started out complicated,” Bill says.
“Aren’t you supposed to say something about how when you find the right person, it isn’t complicated, it’s the easiest thing in the world?”
Bill snorts into the phone. “You’ve been watching too many movies, Carter.
No one who has actually fallen in love with someone thinks love is easy.
Love isn’t like they show it in fairy tales; it’s pulling your heart from your chest and handing the bloody flesh to someone else to see if they want to protect it or crush it.
It exposes raw truths that leave you more vulnerable and alive than you’ve ever been before. ”
“Sounds terrible,” I say, cringing at the image of ripping my own heart out just to hand it over to someone else. “I think I’ll pass.”
Bill snorts again. “The fact that you think you have an option in the matter is hilarious.”
“How’s my mom?” I ask, pulling the topic away from bloody body parts and back to the real reason I know Bill called.
The pause at the other end of the line tells me everything I need to know—it’s bad.
Between one heartbeat and the next, I’ve planned my flight back to Colorado, considered three get-rich-quick schemes to fund my mom’s care once Trent fires me, and mentally sorted through every piece of information I’ve ever read about Alzheimer’s progression.
“She had a pretty significant episode yesterday afternoon. She was tired, and a school bus with a high school basketball team traveling through stopped to eat.”
I tense, not liking where this is going at all. Crowded places and overstimulation are both called out as things to avoid for people with dementia.
Bill continues, “She tried to help, though Milly and I both hustled out to take over from her. It was so busy. I didn’t realize something was wrong until after they all had their food.”
I’m not breathing. My mom. The only person I have in this world.
“Mildred found her in the back by the trash cans, rocking slightly as she covered her ears.”
“I’m coming home,” I cut in.
“You’re not,” Bill replies in a gruff voice.
“Mildred talked to Alice, and she quickly came back to herself. I drove her to the hospital, and Dr. Pendleton shuffled her patients so she could get your mom in right away. It’s not clear if she just became overstimulated or if it’s a symptom of something else. ”
“Like what?” I ask, sensing he’s holding information back from me.
“Doc is worried it might be depression, though that’s just one possibility.”
“I thought we’d made it through the point where most people develop depression.” Then another possibility occurs to me, the one Bill might be trying to shelter me from. “Is it because I left? Is it because she’s alone that the doctor thinks it might be depression?”
“No. After talking to your mom, we think overstimulation is the most likely answer, but Mildred and I came over for dinner at your normal time last night, and we’ll keep that up until you’re back. We can handle a routine just fine without you here, Carter.”
“I can’t believe you waited almost a full day to tell me this, Bill,” I say, my voice betraying just how angry I am.
Angry I wasn’t called immediately. Angry I wasn’t there to help.
Angry my mom, who has already had to deal with so much shit in her life, also has to deal with losing her memory—by herself.
“It was the middle of the night over there when it happened. And there was nothing you could’ve done to help, Carter. Even if you’d been here, it might’ve happened, and there still wouldn’t have been anything you could’ve done to help other than sit on your ass in the waiting room with me.”
I push my fingertips into the corners where my eyebrows meet my nose, breathing deeply as I press along my eyebrows to work the tension out.
“I haven’t talked to her in a few days,” I say, the guilt growing in my stomach. Since Jaxon’s concerts have started, I’m busy most of the day, and even with my mornings typically free, it’s still the middle of the night there.
“Your mom can handle you being gone for a few weeks. Mildred and I are here, and we’ve got everything under control. I promise I’ll call immediately if it’s something you need to know about.”
“No matter what time it is,” I state, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.
“No matter what time it is. Now, you just stay focused on what’s important over there.”
“Making sure we win this contract.”
“No, that’s not—”
“I know, Bill. I know how important it is that I win this contract for Trent. He’s already threatened to fire me if we don’t.
” The energy is flowing through me, forcing me to pace, to do something.
Bill’s right. I need this job, and I can’t let anything get in my way of being able to provide for my mom.
“Carter, I know your job is important, but it’s not ev—”
I cut him off. “I gotta go, Bill. Thanks for the update and all you’re doing for my mom. Call me anytime.”
I know just what I need to do to make sure we win Jaxon’s long-term security contract.