Wild and Wrangled

Chapter 13 Cam

Chapter 13

Cam

On Monday morning, I finally decided it was time to call my mother. Now that I had a plan—well, a place to live, at least—I felt that I could finally face her. I sat on the edge of the sofa bed in Gus’s guest room and stared down at my phone. It was early, but she would be up.

And then I could move on with my day. It was moving day, after all.

I had made a pro and con list after finding out Dusty would basically be my neighbor. Ultimately, it wasn’t ideal, but the Wilson house had been my dream home since I first laid eyes on it, and it had many things going for it, despite its closeness to a certain nose ring.

Everything about it was perfect—including the rent I could afford without access to my trust fund, the furniture, unique lease terms, and Gus being close, for Riley’s sake. And from what Ed said, everything Dusty did for Anne was outside, except for the fireplace, which I had already decided I would never use.

But how was it that Dusty was everywhere ? I didn’t even know how he had time to do things for Anne while working at Rebel Blue and apparently visiting out-of-the-way gas stations to buy beef jerky once a month.

Luckily for me, I was an expert avoider—a gold medalist in avoidance.

I took a deep breath. Let’s get this over with.

I scrolled through my contacts for Lillian Ashwood. Not Mom—Lillian. I clicked on her name before I could talk myself out of it and brought the phone up to my ear.

It only rang once.

“Camille,” Lillian said. Her voice was dripping with disdain and disappointment. One word from her, and I already felt like I was two feet tall. “I was wondering when I’d hear from you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“Do you know how embarrassing it was for your father and me to be told that you’d left your own wedding? That the groom didn’t even show up?” I stayed quiet. She didn’t need me for this lecture. “And then, you spend over a week ignoring our calls—using that man”—Gus—“to give us updates on your whereabouts. And what about your daughter? How do you think she feels?”

I shut my eyes tight. “I’m sorry,” I said again.

“It’s not enough,” she said. “Your father is beside himself. Graham’s parents are blaming you, you know—saying you were the one that made this difficult.” Interesting conclusion, considering I was the one who showed up. “And now, two years of planning and airtight contracts that would benefit both of our families are just gone.”

“I know,” I said. It didn’t start this way—with the contracts or whatever. It started with me and Graham realizing we had a lot in common when it came to our parents—mostly that we wanted them to leave us alone. But both pairs of parents saw us getting married as a fortuitous opportunity, and everything just spiraled from there. Our fathers saw a partnership between our family businesses. It would be mutually beneficial—my father’s bank would raise the capital of Graham’s father’s hedge fund and in turn, they would be in a good position to provide their clients an excellent return on investment, and all parties involved would make money. Which, of course, was always the most important thing. By the time I realized what was happening, I couldn’t make them stop, so I decided to try to make the best of it by making sure Riley could benefit.

“And everything we agreed on for your daughter is gone with it,” my mother said, as if she could read my mind. Riley was my mother’s favorite weapon. This marriage was supposed to guarantee security for Riley. I had wanted to make sure she would never be forced to choose a specific degree or career…unlike me. When I was growing up, my parents had looked at me like an investment, so they incentivized the access to my trust to make sure they were getting the most for their money. I had to pick from a specific set of colleges and from there, a specific list of degrees that would lead to an approved career path. And, don’t get me wrong, there were some things about their agreement that I appreciated—like I couldn’t get married until I was twenty-five, but my parents had some stake in who I would end up marrying, obviously. But what had always made me most anxious about my own arrangement was that, if I didn’t follow their guidelines, my trust fund could get revoked at any point. I know that makes me sound entitled and spoiled—maybe I am—but I’ve been taught my whole life that money matters. And, yeah, I know that money doesn’t solve every problem, but for most people, I think it would solve most of them.

But I didn’t want Riley to ever feel as if she was under anybody’s thumb, not even mine. So I did what I’d watched my father do with his business my whole life: I seized the opportunity. I told my parents I wanted something out of this marriage, too—something tangible and airtight. A substantial trust fund for her, and her alone, and the cost of college covered to study wherever and whatever she wanted. When I came to them with my plans and a proposal for an agreement, I swear it was the first time my dad seemed proud of me. The contract was crafted carefully and meticulously by me and several senior attorneys at my firm in Jackson Hole. Once I got married, the trust would be put in Riley’s name, and it couldn’t be accessed by my parents or me. Amos would be the custodian—I trusted him. It was an irrevocable trust. There were no take-backs.

And I spent every piece of capital I had with my parents to make it that way. Capital that I’d been working on since I was eighteen—after I’d dug myself into the world’s deepest hole with them because of Dusty.

But my marriage to Graham was the trigger, and it didn’t happen, so everything I’d done for Riley and for this money and her future was for naught. Anger bubbled underneath my skin.

“Graham was the one who didn’t hold up his end of the bargain, Mother,” I said without thinking.

“Excuse me?” Lillian sounded shocked that I would talk back to her.

“Never mind,” I said.

“This was a good thing for you, Camille. Who knows if you’ll ever get an opportunity like that again. You come with a lot of…baggage.” Did she just call Riley my “baggage”?

“I’m sorry,” I said again through gritted teeth. Lillian was the reason I slept with a mouth guard.

My mother continued to ignore my apology. I wasn’t even sure what I was apologizing for. “Your father and I need to do some damage control. I’ll be in touch with updates about how we can possibly salvage your future. I expect you to answer your phone when I call.”

“Yes, Mother,” I said with a sigh that she could definitely hear.

And then she hung up.

Well, that wasn’t so bad. It could’ve been a million times worse—it had been before. Maybe I was right to give both of my parents a cooling-off period. I looked around the room. I’d packed everything last night and cleaned it the best I could. I didn’t have much—just what I’d packed for what was supposed to be my very glamourous honeymoon to a ski cabin in Park City, Utah. I’d brought the bag to the church with me, which in hindsight was a very good call.

I let out a breath as I reflected on the past week. I thought about how weird it was that I was staying in my baby daddy’s guest room and yet, how it didn’t feel weird at all that he and his fiancée had been there for me. I’d known since Gus and Teddy got together that she was good for my daughter, but it was a special thing to witness—how attentive Teddy was to Riley and her needs, how she brought out the best side of Gus, which he preferred to hide, and how when he told her I was staying here for a little while, she didn’t bat an eye.

I knew why Gus offered up his guest room instead of letting me stay at the Big House with Amos. It wasn’t just that he was worried. He knew that it would take a lot longer for me to leave the Big House than it would for me to leave his. I’d feel too safe, get too comfortable. I’d let Amos cook me breakfast and make me green smoothies for the rest of forever. But Gus knew that I’d start feeling weird if I stayed at his house for too long. It blurred the few boundaries that Gus’s and my co-parenting relationship was built on. We parented together, but we were also our own people with our own lives—no matter how much they overlapped. He knew that if I stayed here, I’d eventually realize that I had to get up and stand on my own two feet again.

With one last look around the room, making sure I didn’t forget anything, I wheeled my suitcase out to the kitchen, where Gus was drinking his coffee at the kitchen table.

“Morning,” I said as I got closer to him.

“Morning,” he said. “How are you feeling about today?”

“Good,” I said. “Ada should be here soon. We’ll take my car to Graham’s, take everything we can fit. Wes and Brooks will follow with a truck and do the heavy lifting of Riley’s furniture.”

“Will Graham be there?” Gus asked.

I nodded. “Just to make sure I get inside.”

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“No,” I said. “Ada set this up. Plus, there’s nothing for us to talk about.” He went back on his word and on our agreement. He knew what that would cost me, and he didn’t care. I didn’t blame him, but I didn’t need to talk to him about it.

Gus’s dark eyebrows furrowed. “I feel like there’s probably a lot for you guys to talk about,” he said.

“There isn’t.” I shrugged. “Thank you for this week. You and Teddy have been incredible. I’m happy our daughter has you.” My throat tightened. “I’m happy you’re her dad—that she has a good one.”

“She has a good mom, too, you know.” Does she? I didn’t feel that way—especially after my mother had just reminded me of everything that Riley had lost. I hoped she wouldn’t miss something she never knew she was supposed to have.

“And tell your dad thank you for watching her today,” I said. “I’ll come pick her up tomorrow, and we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming.”

“Cam,” Gus said. “Are you, you know—are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said with a shrug. Always fine. “Ada and Wes are here,” I said, looking down at my phone. “I’m just going to peek in Riley’s room, and then I’m going to head out.”

Gus looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t. I walked past the table and headed up the stairs to Riley’s room. Her door was open—Gus liked to peek in when he woke up. I didn’t want to risk waking her, so I stood in the doorway.

She moved so much when she slept. Her comforter and sheets were chaotic—the fitted sheet was even pulled off the mattress in the corner. Her curly hair was just as crazy. The legs of her pajama pants had ridden up and were bunched around her thighs. Her mouth was wide open as she slept.

Every time I looked at my daughter, I got overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe she existed and that she was mine. I couldn’t believe something so smart and tenacious and clever came from me. And I wanted to make sure I could give her everything.

I wanted to stand in this doorway and watch her forever, but I knew I had to get our new home ready. I blew her sleeping form a kiss and quietly descended back down the stairs.

Gus wasn’t at the table anymore—probably went to say goodbye to Teddy—so I grabbed my suitcase and walked out the front door, where I found Wes and Ada parked and making out in the cab of Wes’s truck.

Sometimes it was exhausting to be surrounded by people who were in love. I hit the hood of the truck with my palm, and the two of them jumped apart.

Wes had the decency to blush and look embarrassed, but Ada looked pleased as hell as she got out of the truck and gave me a hug.

“Disgusting,” I said as she pulled me into a hug.

“Shut up,” she said. “I told him to give us a fifteen-minute head start and then he’s going to pick up Brooks—that way we can make sure Graham is gone before he gets there. Wes is the world’s sweetest man, but I’m scared he might punch Graham in the face if given the opportunity. And Brooks is a wild card, honestly.”

“Good call,” I said, sending Wes a wave. He got out of the truck and immediately came for my suitcase.

“I’ll put this in your trunk for you,” he said. Always the gentleman.

“Thank you,” I said. “And thank you for your help today. I appreciate it.”

“Anywhere, anytime,” he said with a smile.

“Do you want me to drive?” Ada asked, and I nodded as I handed her the keys. I was grateful she offered.

We got into my car and waved goodbye to Wes and started making our way out of Rebel Blue.

“So,” Ada said, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous,” I responded.

“Since I’m coming to your rescue today, I think it’s time you tell me what went down with you and Dusty.” I froze. That was not what I was expecting.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean, I just think it’s kind of weird that I’ve never really seen you guys interact, at least not if you can avoid it, yet he was the one you chose to spend the day of your almost-wedding with.

“You pretend like he doesn’t exist, you don’t talk about him at all, but you’re okay with him living on the same property as you. I just want to know what the hell happened between you two that created this weird…thing…you guys have going on.”

“We dated in high school,” I said with a shrug. When I said that, it made it sound like that’s all it was. Young love.

It was more than that, but when you fall in love that young, a lot of people spend a lot of time trying to convince you that it isn’t real, and there’s no way it will last.

I guess they were right about the latter part.

Dusty was my first everything, but not in just a first love way. He was my first real friend. He was the first person who cared enough to get to know me, who peeled back the layers I had drawn around myself and liked what they saw. He made me want to like myself, too.

“Well, duh,” Ada said. “I know that, but everything about you two screams a whole lot more details than high school fling or sweethearts—especially in a town where those things are common.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

Because it hurts. “Because I don’t.”

“Cam,” Ada said firmly. “I’m sorry, but you have to give me something. As your friend, I’m worried about you, and I’m worried about you being on the same slab of property as someone who obviously impacts you in a big way, and I can’t tell if it’s positive or negative.”

For someone who told me she didn’t have a lot of friends before coming to Meadowlark, Ada was a good one.

I let out a long sigh. “Look,” I said. “You’re right, Dusty impacts me, and it really isn’t positive or negative…it just kind of is. ”

“Were you born being this cryptic? Or is it something you learned along the way?”

“Probably a little bit of both,” I said. “I appreciate that you’re worried about me, but I don’t think you have to worry about Dusty and me.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged. “Because he’s a good person. It’s not like he’s living there to get closer to me. He’s just doing his job.”

“So you aren’t even a little bit, like, apprehensive about this whole thing?”

“Of course I am,” I said. “My high school boyfriend basically lives in my backyard. Wouldn’t you be apprehensive? But really, I think any way I’m feeling right now has a lot more to do with me than with Dusty.”

Ada pursed her lips. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll accept that answer. For now.”

“And at the end of the day, this is about Riley. She deserves a house like that—a beautiful place to grow up.”

“Okay then.” Ada nodded. “Then that’s what she’ll get.”

It took us about twenty minutes to get to Graham’s. It was far out of town, like my parents’, on a big piece of land with million-dollar views that we never would’ve used. The house was a new build—big and white and beautiful, but it had never felt like mine. Eventually, I think Graham would have floated the idea of us moving to Jackson Hole or Park City and keeping this as a second home. But that never would have happened. He didn’t love Meadowlark, but I did.

Graham and I didn’t have a bad relationship. It just…wasn’t a relationship. Both of us were aware that it was convenient, easy, and both of us benefited from it. I liked Graham. He was nice, and there were times when I thought he was my friend, but I wasn’t in love with him, and I knew I never would be. We both decided to settle for a half life, but if it meant our parents would leave us alone, then that would be nice enough. We would both get to exist in peace, which might not sound like a lot to some people, but it was a lot for me and even more for Graham.

Graham’s parents were worse than mine, which is why I still couldn’t figure out why he didn’t show—what was worth more than the life we agreed to and wanted for each other.

I was so tangled up in my own thoughts that I didn’t realize that Ada had already turned off the car and gotten out. I scrambled out behind her. She walked—stomped, actually, thanks to the platform Docs she loves so much—up to the front door. Her shoulders were back, and her head was held high; it reminded me to hold mine high, too.

Even though my life was shit, I took a moment to be proud of my friend and how much she’d grown into herself again since I’d met her.

Maybe I could do that, too.

Ada looked back at me. “You ready?”

No. “Yes,” I said, a few steps behind her as she lifted her hand to knock on the front door.

Graham opened it less than a second later. He looked nice. He was handsome with his dark hair, classic haircut, and blue eyes. His face faltered a little bit when he saw me. That felt good.

“Hi, Camille,” he said. It was always Camille. Never Cam.

“I’m…” Ada said slowly, “going to get the boxes out of the car.” She walked back to the car, giving Graham and me some privacy—even though I knew she’d be doing her best to listen from where she was.

“Hello,” I said with a small nod.

Graham slid his hands into his front pockets and pursed his lips. After a few seconds, he spoke. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. I nodded. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Yeah,” I said, straightening my spine a little. “So you said. In your note.”

Graham flinched, and I let the uncomfortable silence continue for a few breaths. “Why?” I finally asked.

He brought a hand up and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I…met someone.” I felt my eyes widen. “Nothing happened,” he said quickly. “You’re great, Cam, you’re so great. I know our life would’ve been great, but…”

“…it wouldn’t be that. ” I finished for him.

His blue eyes looked sad. “Yeah,” he said. “I know that this isn’t what we planned, and I’m just so fucking sorry.”

“I…get it,” I said, and I did. I understood what he’d be giving up if he married me because I would have to give it up, too—love, passion, and all the uncertainty and heartbreak that came with it. The difference between Graham and me was that I wanted to give all that up. Life got so much easier when there were fewer possibilities—fewer choices to make, fewer chances that you’d make the wrong one.

“I should’ve told you earlier,” he said.

“You should’ve,” I agreed.

“If it makes you feel better, my parents are pissed,” he said. “They’re probably going to disown me.”

If only. “Worth it, though?” I asked.

Graham’s face went soft. “Yeah,” he said.

I slid my engagement ring off my finger and handed it to him. He took it gently. It was a family heirloom—passed down through generations, so I couldn’t keep it or pawn it or throw it into a lake. “This is yours,” I said.

Graham nodded. “I’ll let you get to it. Just leave your key under the mat when you’re done. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

I nodded, and Graham walked past me and to his car. He gave me one last look before he got in and backed out of the driveway.

“So, I feel like that went as well as it could go?” Ada said, appearing next to me.

“You have got to stop eavesdropping,” I said with an exaggerated eye roll. I swear, it was her favorite hobby since she’d moved to Meadowlark.

“I’ll stop when I’m dead,” she said as she pushed the front door of the house open. “Wes and Brooks will be here soon. Let’s get your shit.”