10. Cami
Cami
Good Horses by Lainey Wilson, Miranda Lambert
T he back door opens, and Ollie comes in. He takes one look at my red, puffy eyes and pulls out a chair and sits. I’m waiting for the kettle for tea.
"I take it you know," he says softly.
"You knew?" I glare at him.
He shook his head. "Actually, no. He knows I don't like talking about the ranch. I put two and two together."
I harrumph. "Some best friend."
Ollie takes down two mugs and pulls out two tea bags. "Is it that bad that he's helping us?"
"Us? There is no 'us', Ollie. There's only been me in this. You and Mom vacated long ago, leaving me to figure this out. And I didn't get it figured out, did I?" I laugh, but it comes out in a sob.
"I'm here for you, Cami. I'll always help you. But this place suffocates me. I can't live here, you know that."
I nod as the teapot whistles, and he takes it off and pours the water into our mugs. I watch him, and exhaustion fills me.
"What does he want with the ranch?" I ask, softening my voice.
He shrugs. "You two need to talk about it."
"And why does he want to stay here?" I question.
Ollie sighs. "Have you seen the bullshit that he's dealing with the reality TV show?
It's like a full-on circus over there. He's also never felt safe at the lodge. I don’t think he’s sleeping.
I think, somehow, staying here feels safe to him.
He's dealing with the demons of his dad and doesn't want to stay there.
None of them do." He shrugs as he looks over at me.
I think about what he's saying and soften.
The lodge has always felt like Jack Sr's, and it doesn't feel like a home, more like a prison. Which is fitting for where his asshole father is now. But it doesn’t feel right that his kids are still living in his mess.
Ollie and I know all about that. Ironic that Jack would be the one to save us.
"Also, the fact that you’re not safe here with Granger and Jace pulling the crap they've been pulling.
Until we know that's over, we're taking turns here.
And if you even think about arguing with me on this, Cami, just don't," he says as he dunks his tea bag and watches me, giving me his best stern little brother look.
I give him a look and add honey to my tea. He's not wrong, and I've been sleeping better since they've been here. But I'm not telling him that because I have my badass reputation to protect.
"All I'm saying is, maybe go easy on Jack. He's dealing with a lot right now. Even if you don't see it right now, he means well. He would never hurt us," Ollie says as he takes a sip of his tea.
"Are you staying here tonight?" I ask as I put the rest of my scones away and get everything ready for tomorrow .
"Nope, Jack is. So don't murder him when he comes in," Ollie says with a warning look.
"Whatever," I grumble. "I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow. Love you, Ol."
I grab my mug of tea and head upstairs to my room.
When my mom moved out, I took over the primary bedroom and painted everything, making it my own.
It was my grandparents' bedroom before my mom had it.
I painted the walls a dark green and added an accent wallpaper wall with dark gray floral patterns and a few pops of color.
I have cozy lamps and a new iron bed. It's the one place that is mine in the world, other than the trailer.
For now, I guess. Until I figure out what Jessop is doing with the ranch. Maybe he can take payments. Or rent. I still can't believe he did this.
I get ready for bed and drift off to sleep. I faintly hear soft footsteps later on the stairs. I hear the shower kick on and drift back to sleep, dreaming of Jack naked in the shower. And my dreams don't disappoint.
The next morning, I get ready and head out to the barn and startle when I see Pesto and Mouse saddled up and ready, Jack standing next to them with a smile as he tips his hat to me.
I stand and stare at him, as if we’re in a standoff.
I want to be angry at him. I thought about it all last night between the dreams and fitful spurts of sleep.
It’s impossible to stay mad at Jack. I don’t understand him.
But I know that Ollie is right. Jack would never hurt us, and he’s trying to help in his own way.
Now it’s a mess, and I have to figure out what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go.
"You startled me, I forgot you were staying here. At your ranch," I add and narrow my eyes.
He tilts his head. "It's still your ranch, Cami. Now, please tell me you brought coffee for both of us."
I sigh and hand over the extra thermos I brought.
Jack grins, "Forgot I was staying here, huh?"
"Whatever," I mutter as I go to get on Mouse and freeze. "Where did you get this?" I breathe, running my hand over the leather saddle.
"You know where I got it. It belongs here with you," he says as he gets on his horse and tucks the thermos into his side pocket.
"Jack," I say, my lip trembling.
In a flash, he dismounts and closes the distance between us. He cradles my cheek in his big and rough palm. He swipes my tear away and says, "Don't read into it, Cami. I'm making some shit right between us. Just take it."
He looks at me like he’s wounded and there’s something deep there. Something deeper than I’ve seen before. Love.
And it freaks me out. Scares the hell out of me. Jack loving me makes me feel more naked and vulnerable than I’ve ever felt.
“Thank you,” I murmur. Confusion fills me, a warmth I can’t explain that feels like love and gratitude, yet my guard is still up when it comes to Jack. He’s the one person who can hold my heart in his hands and crush it if he wants.
I nod, and swipe a tear from my other eye. "I have something in my eye," I turn and get on the horse, still amazed that he got my grandpa’s saddle back.
He watches me for a second then gets back on his horse and we are off, Love trotting beside us as usual. She spots them before I do and runs to the cattle running in my back pasture.
"Did you bring cattle over to stay with you, too?" I ask, confused .
He shakes his head, “I'm guessing that's the cattle Granger returned. I need to check them all over. God only knows where they've been."
I nod and ride beside him, as we count the cattle and look them over.
"Give any more thought to moving out to the ranch with your trailer?" He asks as the sun rises over the range, the colors as beautiful as ever.
"I'm still thinking about it," I say reluctantly. "I have stipulations, though."
"Of course you do," he smirks. “What are you waiting for? Let’s get you moved out there.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. He’s so bossy.
We ride further until we come to our tree. The tree we used to climb as kids and attempted to make a playhouse in before my dad tore it down. I gaze at the tree and then I see it. The worn carving in the wide trunk. J + C in the base of it.
"The trust," I whisper. “How did you do this?”
“I used my inheritance from my mom. She would have liked this. She liked you, Cami. She loved your grandparents, too.”
I suck in my breath at hearing this. I loved his mom, she was such a nice woman.
I was young when she passed away, but everyone in town new her and loved her.
She was the one good thing about Jessop ranch.
It all went to hell after she died. She had life insurance that went into trusts for all the kids.
Jenna told me that a long time ago. It was the one thing that their dad had no control over and couldn’t use as leverage over them.
The fact that Jack used that to save our ranch makes me love him even more. And feel even more confused. I’m questioning so much right now. Even a ride with Mouse can’t work out all these feelings like they usually can. There’s a lot to unpack here.
He swallows and looks away. Then he says softly, "The ranch is yours, Cami. I couldn't let a developer take it from you. "
"What are you going to do with it?" I ask softly as my fingers trace the carving on the saddle.
"What do you think I want?" he clips, a hurt look in his eyes. "You're a smart woman, Cami. I’ll let you figure that out."
He turns and rides off back towards his side of the property. His other side, I guess.
And I'm left even more confused than ever.
But I know what I want him to want. Me.
I get to my coffee trailer and someone spray painted on the side: Dumb Bitch.
How original, I think, rolling my eyes as I get out of my truck. This is irritating as hell, and I’m so pissed at the harassment.
"Good morning," I say to dubious-looking customers and open the trailer. I glance around and nothing appears to be out of order inside the truck, at least. The outside is nothing a pressure washer can’t take off.
"What happened?" Violet asks, looking worried as she walks up and examines the trailer with me.
"Not sure, but we're going to keep making coffee, and I'll figure it out later."
And when I say figure it out, I mean handle it.
I have a good idea who did this. And I have a plan to take care of it.
I washed all the paint off earlier, parked my truck a block away, and waited in my trailer in the dark for them to come back. And they didn't disappoint .
They pull in and park, right in front of the new trail cam facing the trailer Poppy and I set up earlier that afternoon. I watch as Granger and Jace get out of the truck, this time with bats in their hands. I listen as Granger grunts, "Gonna teach this dumb bitch a lesson."
Yeah, we'll see about that. As Granger raises his bat to smash one of my trailer windows, I push open the door and hose down his face with bear spray. He squeals and jumps, dropping the bat. Jace rears back in surprise in the dark, cowering.