Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
Two Pink Lines
Cheyenne
“Let me do this for you, Chey.”
Maverick’s kindness nearly broke me. I didn’t deserve it, but I sure appreciated it.
It was only after I choked out an “okay” that I realized the clinic would likely be closed for the holiday, not to mention it was a Sunday morning and Maverick would be getting ready to head to church.
Not that he wouldn’t skip out on it for this, I had no doubt in my mind, but still, I didn’t want him to.
Then there was the fact I’d have to explain our absence for Cash’s Fourth of July Bash, as well as I’d have to come up with a reason for why I wasn’t drinking…
Not like I hadn’t drank my fair share last night, and it’s not like I was planning on keeping it, but still.
The thought of drinking knowing I was pregnant just seemed so absolutely wrong.
I voiced all my concerns aloud to him.
“Don’t worry about me…and I can find somewhere to take you. There’s plenty of places open today.”
I exhaled slowly, wiping at my eyes even though it was no use. It was like I was perpetually crying at this point. “I can wait til tomorrow.”
“You sure?” His brow rose. “We can skip out on Cash’s party.”
I pegged him with a hard stare. “We can’t just skip your best friend’s party…on your own damn property.”
Maverick shrugged. “I’d do it if that’s what you wanted.”
Tears pricked in my eyes. Dear Lord, he was so sweet. And kind. And selfless.
“Thank you, but we aren’t skippin’ Cash’s party. He’d just bother us until we gave in and went. It’s fine if we go tomorrow.”
He wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Okay. I was gonna head to church in a bit, but I can stay if you want me to.”
I shook my head. “No. You go ahead. I’ll stay here. I need to work with the filly today anyway.”
“You sure you wanna do that today?”
“Might as well. It’ll give me something to do other than cry.”
His brow furrowed, his gaze serious. “You’re not makin’ a convincin’ argument, Chey.”
I appreciated the concern, but I needed this time alone. I needed time to think. To breathe. To come to terms with this. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
His eyes searched mine for a long moment before he sighed. “Okay. Charlie’ll be home. Cash recruited her to get all the decorations set up… Maybe you could talk to her? I mean, since she’s, you know…in the same boat as you.”
“No.” I pulled out of his grip. “I don’t want her to know. I don’t want anyone to know.”
It was bad enough he knew. Yes, he was being absolutely sweet and accommodating and amazing, but what would this change between us?
I honestly was too afraid to ask.
He lifted his hands up in a placating gesture, concern washing over his face. “Okay. Sorry.”
More tears welled in my eyes before slipping down my cheeks. Dear God, I hated this crying bullshit. And here I was, a blubbering mess. I hated being pregnant. I wiped angrily at my tears and sniffled. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll be fine, okay. Please don’t worry.”
Maverick nodded, the concern still lingering in his eyes, in every inch of him really. I could tell he wanted to plead his case for staying—ever the protector. But I needed some time alone.
I offered him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
His frown deepened, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
So, he clearly wasn’t convinced. I don’t think I’d be either if the tables were turned.
But I didn’t have it in me to do anything more.
A part of me just wanted to curl back up under the blankets and cry myself to sleep.
Another part of me wanted to run away. Hop in my truck with Brandy and Country Road and just drive, drive, drive until we ended up in a new town, new county, a new state, even.
But I didn’t have a trailer. I mean, the winnings I’d made from the rodeo yesterday, combined with the insurance money were hardly enough to make a decent down, but I could make it work.
A longing stirred in my chest, that wandering, drifting part of my soul calling. I glanced at Maverick. Could I leave right now? He’d welcomed me into his home. He’d taken care of me. He’d saved me and Brandy despite nearly breaking himself in the process. Could I really just run away?
The drifter part of me stilled. Its whispers dying on the wind.
I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t fathom saying goodbye.
But I knew that if I stood here any longer, he’d find a reason not to go to church and stay here to mother hen me.
So, I mustered up my brightest smile and leaned up to kiss him.
“Thank you, Mav… For everything,” I whispered, before walking back into the room.
The little red filly snorted and paced the minute I grabbed a lead rope. She pinned her ears as I placed a hand on the latch to her gate. Well, great. This was gonna be fun.
I glanced down at Brandy. “Stay.” She laid down, settling in for the shit show that was likely to ensue.
I rested against the gate, the sun beating down on me despite it only being 10 AM. Maybe choosing to work with her right now was a bad idea. A thin sheen of sweat already coated just about every inch of my skin.
“Sh,” I soothed, opening the gate slowly and walking into the stall, latching the gate behind me. The horse pranced, a wild panic in her eyes.
She looked about as terrified as I felt.
Tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision.
Great. Just what I needed right now. But I couldn’t help it.
The helplessness and confusion and just complete and utter shock shattered the floodgates holding back my tears.
And I knew it was completely stupid, not to mention so incredibly dangerous, but I buried my face in my hands, sob after sob wracking my body like waves against a cliff.
How had I ended up pregnant? How could I have been so careless? So…irresponsible. I could still hear Nate’s threats in my head. The way he’d all but gloated about my tailer. He’d burnt down my home. What would he do if I had his baby and he found out?
I should call the Sheriffs and tell them he’d basically admitted burning it.
But it was my word against his. The stupid trailer park’s video cameras were broken and hadn’t recorded anything in months so there was no way of proving it was him.
No one had seen him. Plus, I didn’t want to see what he tried to do to me if I pressed charges.
I couldn’t have this baby.
I was terrified. Just as terrified as this poor filly.
Something brushed against my arm, and I jumped. My watery gaze flew to the horse, who spooked and shuffled back a few steps, a snort escaping her as she pinned her ears.
Shit, I’d forgotten where the hell I was, what I was even supposed to be doing. What a great fucking horseman I was. I needed to get out of here. What I was doing was dangerous on a good day, but in this state of mind, it was nothing more than a goddamn accident waiting to happen.
To my surprise, the filly took a step toward me. And then another. And another… Until she stood right before me. And then she nuzzled my stomach.
Could she possibly know I was pregnant?
Great, so apparently even the damn horse knew but I hadn’t. Just more proof that I had no business having a child. And then I was crying again, because you know, why not?
She rested her head against me, and slowly one of my hands found the side of her cheek.
I ran a tentative hand across it, careful to go slow and not spook her.
I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but when she finally pulled away, I wasn’t crying anymore.
The fear had left her gaze, a softness there I hadn’t expected to find.
“You’re a good girl, aren’t ya?” I kept my voice low, whisper-soft.
She didn’t answer, because of course she didn’t, but I’d take her calm as a sign we were making progress.
I didn’t do much else with her aside from run my hands along her neck and back, getting her used to my touch, my presence.
Despite doing a whole bunch of nothing, sweat dripped off of me in buckets.
My hair felt like a mop on my head as I exited her stall.
Gross. Pulling my trucker hat off for a moment, I tied my hair up into a bun before plopping my hat back on.
I needed a shower. I felt emotionally and physically drained, but at least I hadn’t thrown up today. There was still time, though.
I latched her stall, intent to go back and shower and prepare myself mentally for Cash’s party later on, only to find Charlie making her way toward me.
“Hey!” She waved at me before shielding her eyes from the hot sun.
“Hey. Maverick said you got conned into decoration duty?”
She snorted. “Yeah, but honestly it beats goin’ to church with the boys.”
“Not religious?” I asked.
“It’s not that, really…” Charlie’s shoulders rose and fell. “Church just never really has been my scene. Too much gossip for my taste.”
“I get it.” Church hadn’t really been my thing either. But more so because Daddy and I moved around so much. Daddy hadn’t been too religious to begin with, though, so church hadn’t been much of a priority before.
Charlie smiled, but something in her gaze held a level of concern in the grey depths. Or maybe I was just projecting. “You okay?”
I frowned. “Yeah. Just hot and tired.”
“You sure?” Charlie’s brow rose.
So, I wasn’t projecting. Was I that easy to read or had Maverick said something?
“What did Maverick tell you?” I grumbled out, defeat ringing in my words.
“Nothing. You just have tear stains on your cheeks. And… I don’t know—” She rubbed at her tattooed arm. “You look sad.” The softness and sincerity of her words, the worry in her gaze written plainly on her pretty face, broke me. Shattered the walls of my composure, leaving nothing but rubble.
Then I was crying. No, not crying. Sobbing. Body-wracking, gut-wrenching sobs that made me cave in on myself. I was a fucking mess, but I couldn’t stop it.
“Oh my God, girl… what’s goin’ on?” Charlie’s warm hands gripped my shoulders, gently forcing me upright.