Chapter 59
Chapter fifty-nine
I Don’t Wanna Go To Heaven
Maverick
My clothes were drenched, leaving my skin chapped and chafed, I’d lost my boots to the fucking mud a couple miles back, and my hand throbbed and pulsed so badly that the wind licking at my fingers felt like sharp claws raking over flesh.
But the sight of the house sent my heart thumping wildly in my chest. A surge of adrenaline drove me forward, my feet eating up the distance between me and that beacon of light.
Between me and Cheyenne. I pulled away from Ryder, picking up speed as I raced onward.
The hail had stopped for the moment, but thunder still rolled, followed by the occasional lightning strike, and non-stop rain.
I ignored it all as I reached the gravel driveway leading up to the front porch.
A familiar maroon truck sat in the driveway, but Cheyenne’s was nowhere to be seen.
Did that mean they were here? Or had they taken Cheyenne’s truck to the hospital? I couldn’t imagine they’d do that. But maybe I’d have some damn service in the house and could get ahold of someone.
Fifteen feet.
Ten.
Five.
The front door opened inward, and Bad loomed in the entryway.
“Where is she?” I breathed, but as I made it to the porch, he pressed a hand to my shoulder, the wait of his stare paralyzing me in place. “Is she okay?” I croaked.
A slew of emotions I’d never expected to see in Bad shone in that usually hard, hazel stare. “They’re doin’ great.”
They.
The breath left me in a whoosh. “She-she had her? Fuck!”
Guilt and frustration warred with the excitement churning within me, wilder than the storm overhead.
Bad gripped both of my shoulders. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay. She’s okay…they’re okay.”
How could I have missed it? A flicker of rage rippled through me, but I pushed it down, down, down. All that mattered now was that Cheyenne was okay. That they both were okay.
“C-can I see ‘em?” I whispered, the words all but dying in my throat.
Bad’s lips curved upward into a soft grin as he stepped aside.
My breathing was ragged and shallow as I crossed the threshold into the house.
The living room and kitchen were neat and tidy as usual, but the light leading down the hall to our bedroom glowed.
On shaky legs, I padded toward the room, the squelch of my wet clothes deafening compared to the quiet singing dancing on the air.
My feet stopped working altogether as I entered our room, finding the most beautiful sight awaiting me. Cheyenne’s soft singing broke away into nothingness as her gaze snapped up to clash with mine.
She looked…well, she looked absolutely gorgeous sitting perched up against the pillows of our bed.
Her wild curls were pulled up into a messy bun high on her head, little wisps falling to frame her face.
There was this glow about her, almost like it came from within.
And her eyes shone with warmth. So much warmth and love and light.
“Well, you ready to meet your daughter, Maverick?” My legs almost gave out at her words.
Your daughter.
Tears welled in my eyes as I moved toward the bed, coming to a stop a few feet away. I didn’t want to get too close—I was covered in mud and shit and grime.
“Y-you guys both are okay?” I asked, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Cheyenne’s smile chased away the cold lingering in my bones and the fear lurking in my heart. It was radiant. She angled herself toward me, and I got the first peak at the most precious thing I’d ever laid my eyes upon.
“Wanna hold her?” she asked.
My hands trembled, and as I glanced down at them the sight stopped me in my tracks. “I’m filthy. I—can I change first?”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to spend another moment with them out of my sight, but the thought of holding her for the first time in the state I was in just didn’t sit right with me.
Cheyenne’s laughter reminded me of a babbling brook. “Of course, cowboy. Just hurry.”
I bit back a wave of tears as I nodded. A warm hand slapped my shoulder, and I glanced over to find Cash. “I got you some clothes already. They’re in the bathroom for ya.”
I hadn’t even registered that he was here, didn’t even have the words to speak now. So, I just nodded. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and tilted his chin toward the bathroom. “Go.”
I washed my hands for a full two minutes, trying to rid anywhere that would touch her of so much as a speck of dirt. After changing into new clothes, I stared in the mirror.
This was it.
Blowing out a deep breath, I made my way back into the room. Cheyenne smiled at me once more as I moved to the edge of the bed.
“Come on, don’t be shy. She’s been dying to meet her daddy for the last hour.”
An hour. She’d had her an hour ago. Guilt niggled at me, but as she handed me the most beautiful treasure I’d ever beheld, all that doubt washed away.
My hands shook as I held her before me, studying her, committing every tiny detail of her to memory. Forever ingraining this moment in my soul.
Dear Lord, she was beautiful. A soft dusting of light brown hair. The smallest, most perfect little button nose. Tiny fingers and perfect little toes. And eyes blue as her mother’s. I hoped they never changed. Never dulled or darkened, but shone like turquoise pools for the rest of forever.
“Hello, there Oakleigh M—”
“Oh, I wanted to talk to you about that.” Cheyenne’s voice held a timid note to it. I frowned, meeting her worried gaze. “I was thinkin…Oakleigh doesn’t fit her.”
“You don’t think?” I asked, curiosity drawing my attention back and forth between her and the baby.
She chewed her lip and shook her head, her brows knitting together. “No. I just… I love the name, but it isn’t her.”
“What’re you thinkin’?”
“What about Stormie Mae? I thought you know, with her spectacular entrance and all…” Her words trailed off.
A smile tugged on my lips as I eased myself onto the bed beside Cheyenne, careful not to disrupt the most precious little gift I’d ever gotten to hold. “Stormie Mae…” I nodded, bringing her up before me so that I could press the softest whisper of a kiss to her forehead. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Cheyenne leaned into me. “Little storm cloud, this here’s your daddy. He’s the most amazin’ man you’ll ever meet. He’s gonna love you and cherish and take care of you for the rest of your life. You’re the luckiest girl in the world.”
Daddy.
The warmth and love in her voice broke me.
Tears welled in my eyes, my throat closing as my heart clenched so tightly, I thought it might stop entirely.
And when I glanced up at Cheyenne, tears streaming down her cheeks, I knew as long as I had her and this baby…
Well, it didn’t matter how dark life ever got, because I had the brightest lights to guide me through it.
Bad had made sure not to cut the umbilical cord, so I had something to do with the birth. Getting to have him, Cash, Ryder, and Chey all there in the same room to see…well, it felt almost surreal.
The next few hours, the next few days really passed in a blur.
Feedings, changings, doctor’s appointments—for both me and Stormie Mae.
She was healthy as can be, my hand though…
Well, let’s just say I’d gotten an earful from the doctor.
She’d been equally as furious as impressed that I’d managed to even attempt to mend a fence with my hand in the state it was in.
I’d done a bit of damage though, so another surgery was in the works for the following week.
The splint they had me in now was bulky, and prevented me from doing much, but it gave me an excellent excuse to be stuck on baby duty.
Stormie’s cries carried through the room from the bedside bassinet Cash and Ryder had set up in the room for us. Cheyenne stirred beside me, but with a kiss to her forehead, I murmured quietly, “It’s okay. I got this.”
I’d gotten pretty good at managing to change diapers one-handed so that I could help in any way I could.
And heating up bottles. Chey struggled to produce much breast milk, but it didn’t stop her from trying relentlessly.
She had an appointment with one of the nurses at the hospital later on in the morning to see what they could help her with.
But in the meantime, we were supplementing with formula.
I eased out of bed and moved to Stormie’s bassinet, drawing her up into my arms as I went through the motions that had become so instinctual, so natural, in just a few short days.
Deep down—subconsciously—I think a part of me feared that I wouldn’t have a connection with her, but I’d never been so wrong.
She might not share my blood, but this little girl was mine, through and through.
After changing her and heating up a bottle, I settled into the rocking chair I’d made in her room, rocking gently back and forth as I fed her. “And how are you this mornin’ little storm cloud?”
I watched her in quiet awe as she fed, in pure disbelief that this was my life now.
She was mine. I’d always assumed I never deserved love.
Like I’d done something to deserve Ashleigh…
and I was so starved for just a shred of her affection that had Cheyenne not come into my life, I’d have continued down that dark, endless road of unhappiness.
But now, I had Chey. I had Stormie. I had a family. Everything I could ever want. And I’d never been so grateful. My life was whole. It was good. It was full of love. And I would fight like hell to keep it like this for the rest of forever.
As the sky began to lighten slowly outside an idea came to my mind. Fuck, I needed to hurry. Clutching Stormie in my arms, I made my way to our room, lightly rousing Cheyenne.
“Hey…hey wake up, Chey.”
She blinked away sleep and squinted at me. “Hm?”
“Come on, I wanna do somethin’, but I need y’all there with me.”