Chapter 26 Mackenzie
My house was oddly quiet when I got home.
My dad was in his office, Tessa was asleep on the couch, and my sisters were already in bed for the night.
It had been fun having Max back today and already I missed his comforting presence.
He had been an especially welcome distraction given how my dad was still freezing me out.
I went straight up to my room, creeping silently past Dad’s office.
I could hear game footage through the door.
Knowing him, he’d be reviewing it for hours.
Being around Parker’s family tonight had only brought my dad’s lack of encouragement into sharper focus.
The way Amy had spoken to me… well, I would have given just about anything to have my dad show me even half that support.
As I entered my room, I released a sigh.
I hated seeing my moving boxes piled in the corner.
I wasn’t sure why I still hadn’t unpacked.
It wasn’t like my dad was going to change his mind about Ransom.
Maybe Max was right, and I was just waiting for this place to feel like home.
And today, Ransom had felt a little more like a place I could belong. I pulled a box from the pile.
I’d barely cracked it open when there was a tapping sound at my window, quickly followed by another. Nerves churned softly beneath my skin as I crept over and peered into the front garden below. Parker was staring up at me.
I quietly opened my window. “Not this again, Parker.”
“Yep, this again.” He went straight for the trellis. I didn’t argue. What was the point? There was clearly no stopping this boy when he had his mind set on something. Instead, I stood back as he climbed through my window for a second time.
As he stood tall my body hummed with a heady rush, and I folded my arms across myself in an attempt to contain it.
He leaned against the windowsill, gripping it tightly as he watched me. He was only wearing a T-shirt, revealing just how muscular his arms were. Even his forearms rippled. “Aren’t you cold?” I muttered.
He didn’t immediately respond, and as my gaze lifted from his arms, my breath hitched. There was something wild about his eyes. “You didn’t say goodbye.” His words seemed to pulse through me.
I tried to laugh them off. “You came all the way over here for a goodbye?”
“No. Yes. I—” He shook his head as though he’d failed to find the answer he was searching for. “We didn’t discuss our plans for training this week.”
“Couldn’t you have just texted me?”
“It’s a little hard when you keep refusing to give me your number.”
I rolled my eyes, but passed him my phone. “Fine. Give me your number.”
When he handed it back to me, I took a look and sighed. “Coach Darling? That’s the contact name you’re going with?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
“‘Parker’ would have been fine. Most Annoying Human Alive also would have worked.”
He grinned as he looked at his own phone. “If it helps, I’m putting you in as, Second Favorite Foster.”
“And who’s your favorite?”
“Mitts, obviously.”
“Obviously.” Was it weird to be a little jealous of the world’s most obnoxious cat? “Well, we’ve exchanged numbers now, I guess you can go.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked cautiously. “For me to go?”
I swallowed. No, it wasn’t. I didn’t want him to leave at all. Having him in my room felt intoxicating and dangerous, just like the last time he’d climbed up here. Except this time, I was enjoying the risk. Maybe even wanting to risk more.
When I didn’t respond, he took a step closer.
My heart pounded. All I could think about was how my body had come alive when I’d fallen on him at the lake today.
How my every cell had flickered with awareness while sitting next to him in the den.
How my insides had fluttered whenever he’d caught my eye across the table at dinner.
Suddenly the fact Parker was in my room wasn’t nearly as dangerous as the way I was feeling.
I quickly turned and headed back to the box I was sorting, saying, “You’re here now. I guess you may as well tell me about training.” I didn’t want Parker to leave, but I needed to keep my hands busy or I’d reach out to him. Seriously, what was wrong with me?
“Right.” Was that disappointment in his voice? He cleared his throat before he continued. “Our homecoming game against the Saints. It’s the biggest of the season, outside the playoffs. We need to win it.”
“And…”
“And while there are still things you and I can work on, I’ve been thinking about the team a lot since our game yesterday. We all made mistakes. Me included.”
I paused and glanced up from my box. “You probably shouldn’t have hit that guy.”
“No, I shouldn’t have.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but when he stayed quiet, I uttered the question that was hanging silently between us. “So, why did you do it?”
He let out a breath, and as his blue eyes pierced mine it felt as if the tension between us might snap. “You don’t want to know.” His voice was deep and gravelly, and something about it had my heart pulsing fast once more.
It felt like we both wanted to avoid the answer to my question. It was one of many that were piling up, like the boxes in the corner of my room. But our silence said all the things neither of us wanted to utter aloud. Could we keep ignoring this? Did I even want to ignore it?
“It was one mistake,” I said, finally. “You won’t make it again.”
“No.” He appeared to relax a little. “I won’t. But it wasn’t the only thing that went wrong. We could all be playing better. And I think there might be something we can do about it.”
“What?”
“When Reed, Grayson, and I play together, the way we communicate feels more like telepathy. I know what move they’re going to make before they make it.
I know where they are on the ice without even looking.
I trust them. Skating with my brothers today made me realize that the Devils don’t have that. And we need it if we want to win.”
“But you’ve played with your brothers for years. You can’t develop ‘telepathy’ overnight.”
“True,” he admitted. “But half the guys on the team have never played together before, and it shows. Sloppy mistakes were made yesterday that never would have happened if the team communicated better. If they had more confidence in each other. I think a little team bonding could help.”
I glanced up at him as his words sunk in. “You want the guys to hold hands and make friendship bracelets?”
“If it gets them connected, then yeah. We’ve got to do something, don’t we? We need to win this next game so you can stay.” A look of surprise flickered across his face, as if the words had slipped from his mouth without permission.
He didn’t take them back though…
“So, what do you think?” he said. “Could this work?”
A few weeks ago, I would have laughed Parker’s suggestion off entirely. But after the time we’d spent together, after he’d helped me so much, I felt like I understood him so much better.
“It could,” I said, unpacking some clothes. “What do you want us to do?”
“I’ll text everyone to meet at school first thing tomorrow morning, and…” He stopped and began to smile as I pulled out a hockey jersey. “Nice jersey. Is it yours?”
“Oh.” I frowned as I looked over the bright blue jersey, which had a large raven plastered across the chest. I’d never seen it before.
“It must be one of my dad’s.” I took another look in the box and realized none of its contents were familiar.
“I think this is all his. Must have gotten mixed up in the move.”
I went to pack the jersey away, but as the material slipped through my fingers, I caught sight of the name across the back. My heart all but stopped. There, in faded white letters, was my mom’s maiden name. Hollis. Below it, the number thirty-three.
“What’s up?” Parker said, his voice filling with concern. He must have noticed my shaking hands.
“I-I think this was my mom’s.” My eyes were wide as I looked up at him, shock making my grip on the jersey unsteady.
“Your mom played hockey?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think so. My dad never said anything about it.”
I started searching frantically through the box.
It wasn’t just the jersey. There was a medal with my mom’s name printed on it—Abigail Hollis.
A goalie mitt. Newspaper clippings and old ticket stubs from some of my dad’s NHL games.
A signed puck. A photobooth strip showing smiling pictures of my mom and dad in college.
But it was the last item I lifted from the box that had tears welling in my eyes.
In a tarnished silver frame, there was a photo of a hockey team wearing bright blue jerseys with ravens across their chests.
They were all boys, except, there, sitting front and center, wearing goalie gear just like mine, was my mom.
I was instantly struck by a feeling of betrayal.
Then an overwhelming sense of loss. These were all her things, and I’d never seen them before.
Never even heard about them. A whole part of my mom’s life I knew nothing about.
One that must have been deliberately kept from me. Why hadn’t my dad said anything?
Parker came to my side. “She looks just like you.”
His words relaxed me slightly, making my heart swell with pride. It wasn’t the first time I’d been told my mom and I were similar, but I hadn’t realized those similarities were more than skin deep.
“Are you okay?” he added.
“I’m confused.” I glanced up at him and asked, “Why didn’t I know about this?”
“I don’t—” We both froze as a creak sounded on the stairs. Footsteps in the hallway. Parker stared at me, panicked. I nodded toward my closet and he rushed to it.
I placed the frame and the jersey back in the box and quickly closed the lid before hurrying to help Parker shut himself in.
“Mackenzie?” my dad’s deep voice called softly. It was followed by a knock on the door.
Anger, annoyance, and confusion tore through me. I didn’t want to face my dad right now. I wasn’t sure what I would say. Probably many things I’d regret.
“Mackenzie, are you in there?”
I’d been planning to shut Parker in the closet alone.
But it sounded like my dad didn’t know I was here yet, so instead of answering him, I silently slid in next to Parker.
There was barely enough room as it was, but he shifted his body as I closed the door behind me and pressed against him.
My hands were on his chest. His were on my waist. I didn’t have it in me to care.
I couldn’t face my dad. I just couldn’t.
“Mackenzie?” he called again.
Parker and I both stopped breathing as my bedroom door opened. His worried blue eyes stared right back into mine. My heart was racing. My body quivering. And yet, it wasn’t because I thought we might get caught. Everything I’d been denying and trying to ignore was rushing to the surface.
I heard my bedroom door click shut again, then silence. My dad was gone, but neither one of us dared to move. The air between us crackled.
“I do want to know,” I whispered.
“Know what?”
“Why you reacted the way you did after I got hit. Tell me it was the heat of the game. That fights happen. That you would have done it for any other teammate.”
“You want me to lie.”
His words struck my chest like a check against the boards.
“You know why I did it, Mackenzie. I did it because when I look at you, I can’t think clearly. I no longer care that you’re off-limits. That you despise me. That wanting you could send my entire future up in flames. You drive me crazy enough to forget all that. Crazy enough to forget the rules.”
My breaths were shallow. The air between us heated. And if he lowered his lips to mine, I felt certain that the clash of our skin would cause sparks to ignite. I knew I should deny it. That I should get the hell out of my closet and tell Parker to go home.
Instead, I reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him toward me. “You drive me crazy too.”
His lips crashed into mine, and the second we met, it was like pure, raw energy shot straight through me.
This was so much more than just sparks. It was a detonation.
I didn’t know how to think. How to breathe.
All the hatred, the lust, the hidden desire flowed through us.
And the more I wanted him, the more I hated him for making me feel this way.
But as quickly as it started, the kiss was over. The two of us broke apart and I pushed through the closet door, desperate for air. What had I been thinking, kissing Parker? Had I completely lost my mind? The problem was, as he followed me out, I wanted to do it again.
“That was…” I stopped, feeling lost.
“If you can’t find the words,” he said, “we can always try that again.”
“I was going to say, that was a mistake.” I shook my head. “A stupid, one-time thing. It won’t happen again.”
The corner of Parker’s mouth lifted like he saw that as a challenge.
“I just needed to get you out of my system,” I added. “Like you said.”
“And did it work?”
“Definitely.”
“Right,” he said, with a small nod. “Same. I can’t think of anything worse than kissing you again.”
But he was looking at me differently. Like that kiss hadn’t solved anything. Like it had only made the attraction between us stronger. It didn’t help that I was lying through my teeth, too.
“Good,” I replied. “You better get out of here before my dad comes back.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He went to the window, but turned back to me as he climbed out. “I’ll see you tomorrow. School cafeteria. Seven a.m.”
And then he was gone.
Had that really just happened?
I turned my attention to the box on my bed.
Yet another thing I didn’t know how to handle.
I wasn’t sure I was ready to confront my dad about my mom’s past. But I couldn’t exactly pack the box away and pretend I’d never seen it, either.
My mom was more like me than I’d known, and tonight she’d come to life for me in a way I couldn’t ignore.
That was the problem with opening boxes that were meant to remain closed. Once you’d seen their contents, there was no going back.