Chapter 11
11
NOELLE
" I can't say I've ever been called sweet before."
"Nice then." But that seemed like too simple of a word for how Killian was treating me and my family. He went out of his way to help Winnie the other night, and he supported Christopher. Now he wanted to make sure my mom was fairly compensated for her work.
"Not many people would take an interest in their employee's families," I pointed out to him.
He waved a hand that had been resting on his knee. "You're not just an employee, and I'm trying to catch up on everything I missed over the years."
I pulled up to my mom's house. It was a small house on an older street. Christopher maintained the landscaping, so it was well cared for. I didn't want to feel embarrassed by my upbringing, but being here with Killian was bringing all sorts of emotions to the surface.
"So this is where you grew up?"
"I thought we established I grew up at the lodge." I played with the Wildes, did my homework on a desk while my mom cleaned, and later snowboarded on the slopes. I spent more time at the resort than at home.
"But this is where your heart is," Killian said, and my heart contracted.
"I suppose it is."
I got out to help him out of my low car. Then we slowly made our way up the sidewalk. I took a deep breath and unlocked the door with my key.
Winnie appeared in the hallway.
"Winnie, you remember Killian."
She grinned at him. "You were at Christopher's race."
"That's right. How are lessons going?"
"They're so much fun."
Killian waved a hand at his knee. "I wish I could be the one teaching you, but maybe I can give you some pointers when I'm better."
"You're like a famous snowboarder." Now her eyes were a little starstruck.
I wrapped a hand around Killian's elbow. "Let's get this guy into a chair."
Winnie moved out of our way so we could make our way down the hallway into the living room.
Mom was bustling around the kitchen.
"Mrs. Richards, it's so good to see you again."
"Please call me Bianca. You're not a kid anymore."
Killian winked at her. "I'll do that."
"We're happy to have you here. It's nothing fancy. But it's our favorite meal. Enchiladas."
"I love enchiladas. Thank you for having me over."
"You know the Wildes are welcome anytime."
Except no one had ever been invited here. When I mentioned Killian wanting to come, Mom had panicked. She worried our house would look worn compared to what his family was used to. But like Killian said, this home was my heart.
Instead of sitting, Killian maneuvered to the wall of frames where Mom had printed and hung photos throughout our childhoods. "Is this Noelle as a toddler?"
I was naked in the tub, but you could only see my grinning face and shoulders. "Why do you still have this one up, Mom?"
"So your dates can see you naked," Killian teased as I stood next to him."
"I haven't brought anyone home."
Killian's gaze swung in my direction. "Really?"
"Yes, really. Don't act so surprised."
"We've never met any of Noelle's boyfriends. I'm starting to think she doesn't date," Mom said.
I rolled my eyes. "I date."
Killian lowered his voice. "Just not anyone special enough to bring home."
"I guess so." I never allowed myself to get close to anyone. I was too busy, but also the memory of Killian not responding to my kiss was fresh in my mind. I didn't trust my judgment. Did the guy like me as much as I liked him? It was too much. It was easier to keep my distance. If I didn't let anyone in, I couldn't get hurt.
Unfortunately, Killian standing in my family's living room was wreaking havoc on my heart rate. One second it was racing, and the next it slowed, and there was no one else in the room except for us.
Killian pointed to one of my Easter pictures where I wore a yellow dress and gripped a basket full of candy and eggs. "You look so innocent here."
Maybe I had been at one time before the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. I'd been trying to help my family for as long as I could remember.
Killian's hand brushed against mine, and I wondered if it was on purpose. Did he want me to feel a connection with him?
He didn't need to touch me for that to happen. The more time we spent together, the closer I felt to him. And the real Killian was nothing like that glossy version of him on the covers of sports magazines.
"I'm going to tell Winnie and Christopher that dinner's ready," Mom said as she went upstairs.
The first few rows of pictures were all me. "I was an only child for a long time. Then Mom met Christopher and Winnie's dad, and we hoped that we would be a family. But then he got a job in another state and left. It was devastating for Mom. Then her back went out?—"
Killian's fingers, which had been brushing against mine, wrapped around my hand. "That's when you stepped up."
The touch sent an electric shock through my arm, straight to my heart, which was racing out of control again. His palm resting against mine felt so good. It had been so long since I accepted any kind of comfort from someone outside my family. I never let any of the guys I dated see my home, these pictures, or my heart. I felt splayed open as if Killian could see everything inside me.
"What's for dinner?" Christopher said, jogging down the stairs.
"Enchiladas! Don't you ever listen?" Winnie asked him, and I grinned at Killian. I never had siblings in my formidable years, so I didn't have anyone to fight with. It was fun to watch these two.
"Hey, you two. We have company. No fighting." Mom followed them into the kitchen.
I pulled away from Killian, not wanting anyone to think that there was something between me and him.
Winnie drew up short. "Oh, that's right. Killian's here."
"Why's he here?" Christopher asked as his gaze went to us.
"Don't be rude," Mom chided.
"He's my guest. He was getting tired of being in the condo," I said feeling a little flustered that I'd just been holding Killian's hand. Why had he done that? It felt like something you would do if you were more than friends. But we'd never been that.
"But you have that rooftop pool and hot tub. If I lived in one of those condos, I'd spend all of my time there."
"Well, I haven't seen the rooftop pool yet," I teased.
"It's not exactly warm outside," Killian said. "But we could try out the hot tub sometime."
My body heated at the thought. It probably wasn't a good idea to be half naked in a hot tub with Killian.
"Come eat. Dinner's ready."
We sat at the large family table, the only one in the house. We didn't have anything fancy like a separate dining room. I was tense, worried that Killian would think we were less than because things were different here than at the Wildes.
Killian sat next to me, and his hand rested on my thigh.
I gave him a sharp look, but he kept his gaze trained on my mom. "Thank you for having me over for dinner, Bianca. Everything looks delicious."
Mom beamed. "Well, thank you. It's nice to have someone so well-mannered at our dinner table for once."
Winnie rolled her eyes. "Mom."
"We never have guests over for dinner," Christopher said as he dug a scoop of enchiladas onto his plate.
Ever since their dad left, it had just been us, and that had been enough. But I liked having Killian here. It was nice.
"Try to leave us some, please," Mom said, used to him eating a lot of food.
He was a growing boy now, and he ate more than he used to. It meant a larger grocery bill, but it was necessary. I never wanted Christopher or Winnie to feel like we didn't have enough for them. I worked hard so that they never felt that scarcity like I had.
Killian scooped some for Winnie, me, then Mom before getting some for himself.
Mom had made lime waters for everyone, which went great with the meal. We talked about Christopher's training, Winnie's new lessons, and things going on at school. It was nice to catch up, and Killian seemed genuinely interested in my siblings' lives.
After dinner, I helped Mom clean up while Killian went outside to shoot some hoops with Christoper. We'd hung a hoop over the single-car garage when he was eleven.
"Killian's a nice boy," Mom said as she loaded the dishwasher.
"He's not a boy anymore, Mom." He was all man, and I couldn't forget that, even if he was injured. His muscles tested the threads on his clothes, and I'd walked in on him naked and close to it twice already. Since I moved in, I made a point to avoid his bedroom at all costs.
It wasn't that I didn't want to see him naked again, but I didn't think I could control myself.
"Don't think I didn't notice. What's going on between you two?"
I stiffened. Had she noticed that his hand had been on my thigh at the beginning of the meal, or that he'd held my hand when we were looking at the pictures? "Nothing. Why?"
"He's here with you. That has to mean something."
I rolled my eyes. "He insisted on coming over because he was bored. I didn't invite him."
"Well, you should have. That poor boy needs a home-cooked meal."
I put my hands on my hips. "I've been cooking him home-cooked meals."
Mom grinned triumphantly. "You have?"
I groaned. "It's part of my job. I'm his personal assistant."
Mom raised a brow. "Did his other assistant cook his meals?"
"I don’t know." But my heart clenched at the idea. Had Riley done things like that with him? Because cooking for him felt intimate. I didn't like the thought of him doing it with her too.
"He seemed interested in Christopher and Winnie in a way his brothers aren't. I mean Xander took an interest in Christopher and helped him get lessons, but he's never invited himself to dinner."
"It doesn't mean anything."
"Are you sure about that?" Mom pointed a wooden spoon out the window where Killian was leaning on his crutches and attempting to shoot at the same time. He missed by a lot, and I could tell that Christopher was ragging him.
Winnie grabbed the ball and attempted a shot. When she missed, Killian demonstrated proper form with his hands.
They enjoyed his company. It was nice to see.
"You like him."
I moved my gaze from Killian to my mom. "I've always been friends with him."
"Did something happen when you were kids? Because one minute you were friends, and the next I couldn't even talk about him."
I sighed. "I kissed him, but he didn't kiss me back. He didn't like me as more than friends."
"Did he say that?"
"That's what it means when someone doesn't kiss you back. It was awkward." There was no chemistry. Or was that right? I remembered how good it felt to have my lips pressed against his. I was so full of nerves and excitement; I couldn't be sure how I felt about the kiss. Were there sparks for him? There couldn't have been if he didn't kiss me back.
"Are you sure about that? Because the way he looks at you doesn't seem friendly."
"You're looking for something you want to see." Mom wanted to see me settle down with somebody. That's what this conversation was about. "Killian's my employer."
"Hmph."
"I know you want me to be happy with someone, but I'm fine being single. I don't have time for all the baggage that comes with relationships." My father hadn't stuck around, and neither had Christoper and Winnie's. No one stuck around except for Mom and my brother and sister.
"Is it so wrong that I want the best for you?"
I folded my arms over my chest. "I'm happy with my life."
"But you could have so much more."
I frowned. "Like what?"
"Love."
"I love you and Christopher and Winnie." That was all the love I needed in my life. Even if Killian made my heart race, it didn't mean anything. It was just a stupid crush I needed to get over, and fast because I was going to lose control and, at some point, kiss him again. I wouldn't survive the rejection a second time.
"Will you be open to it?"
"Open to love?" I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. "I'm not ready for anything like that in my life. I need my businesses to take off." I needed to feel secure, and I wasn't sure that was ever going to happen. I was constantly looking for the bottom to drop out.
"Yes, open to love. Love doesn't care about money or business. It comes when you least expect it, and it's exactly what you need."
"The way you describe it, it sounds amazing. But it wasn't for you."
"But I'm still open to it. The men I dated weren't cut out to be fathers. But I'm still hopeful that there's someone out there for me."
I blinked away the tears. "I want that for you too."
"And who says you can't have a little love in your life?"
I was fairly certain there was a bad-luck charm hanging over our little house. But I wasn't going to tell her that. "It's just not going to be with Killian. I don't want you to get your hopes up."
"I'm not so sure about that."
The door opened, and Christoper ran in. "We need another someone to play for Killian."
"Hey, now," Killian said from outside.
"I'll be right out," I said to him.
Mom waved a hand at me. "Go have fun. Let loose. You could use more fun in your life too."
"You're full of life lessons today, aren't you?"
"Someone has to kick you into gear. You're content to just let life pass you by." Mom left the room, and I wondered whether that was true. Did I let life pass me by?
Maybe hanging out with Killian for the next few weeks would be good for me. Just not in the way Mom thought it would be. I wouldn't give into my desire to touch him, to kiss him. Not when he rejected me last time. I'd learned my lesson when it came to Killian Wilde. He wasn't for me.
But I could have a little fun.
"Are you coming?" Killian yelled through the window, and I shifted my weight off the counter and grabbed my coat to go outside.
"We're playing H-O-R-S-E. Go easy on the old guy; he's hurt." Christopher gestured at Killian.
Killian waved a crutch at him. "You're going to be sorry when I'm back in shape. We're going to race on the slopes."
Christopher's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"
He gave him a pointed look. "And I will beat you."
Christopher laughed. "I would hope so. You're a champion snowboarder, and I'm just a kid."
"Not for long. You keep practicing, and you're going to be a champion skier one day."
"Are we playing H-O-R-S-E or standing around and talking?" Winnie asked.
"We're playing, baby girl," Killian said, his voice full of affection for my sister.
Would he call his daughter baby girl ? I liked the idea a little too much.
Killian passed the ball to me. "You start."
I shot from the foul line and missed. Then it was Christoper's turn. We continued to shoot, teasing each other and joking around. It was fun. Really fun. I hadn't had a good time like this in a long time.
There was something about watching Killian interact with my siblings that had my heart yearning for more with him. He was setting me up for disappointment. But for once, I was going to enjoy the moment.