Chapter 16
16
KILLIAN
T he next morning, I woke to a warm and pliant Noelle in my arms. My heart was full and my mind racing a million miles a second. I wanted a second chance, but I hadn't really thought through the complexities of our situation.
This wasn't my permanent home. I'd have to leave soon, and I didn't want to. My knee was healing, and I felt stronger every day in therapy. Jeremy would soon demand that I get back to work, to do publicity to heighten the anticipation of my return.
There was also the pressure of what the injury meant for my career. Would I be able to perform at the same level? Or would I always favor that knee, worried it would give out? I couldn't forget that my career was fragile. I could lose it all at any second. I should enjoy it while it lasted. But what about Noelle? What did last night mean to her?
She looked so peaceful sleeping in my arms, her eyelashes sweeping over her cheeks, her muscles soft in sleep. Would she wake up and pretend like nothing had happened?
The thought sent stabbing pain through my chest. I thought it was so much more, but I was afraid to define what we were to each other. Noelle was skittish. She was used to life giving her lemons, and I had to tread carefully.
I didn't want to spook her. She wasn't a girl who did relationships. She never brought a man home to meet her family, but she'd introduced me. We'd been barely more than friends at the time, but still it had to mean something.
At the same time, what did I have to offer her? A long-distance relationship? Calls and texts at the end of the night when we were both exhausted. Her businesses were here. She couldn't travel with me.
She moved slightly, stretching out her arms and legs.
I threw the sheets off so that I was between her legs. "Good morning, beautiful."
She was still naked; neither of us had gotten dressed after sex in my bed. I wanted to short-circuit her brain and overwhelm her senses. I didn't want her to wake up and think of all the reasons why we couldn't work. Not like I had.
I had to inundate her with pleasure.
I edged her legs wider, and she propped herself up on elbows, her hair mussed and her eyes sleepy. "What are you doing?"
I arched a single brow. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
I licked her from the center, circling her clit.
She moaned.
I lifted my mouth slightly. "I'm eating breakfast."
She made a choked sound, and I took that as my permission to keep going. I dove back in, licking, sucking, and tasting her. Her clit was a swollen nub, her pussy lips puffy from my attention. But I wanted more. I wanted her to give into the pleasure I was giving her. I wanted her to give into us.
I wanted her to know that we could figure this out. There didn't need to be a right answer or a timeline. We'd follow our feelings, and everything would fall into place. It was a better scenario than whatever I'd thought about in my head.
She fell back on the bed, and I used my finger to enter her. Her legs tightened around me, and her hips arched off the bed, her moans echoing around me.
I eased her through her orgasm, moving up her body while wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. Then I entered her in one swift motion.
Her eyes went wide. "Condom."
I quickly pulled out. "Shit, sorry. I wasn't thinking."
My mind was still soft with sleep, my movements jerky. I reached for one of the extra condoms I'd thrown on the bed last night, making quick work of the wrapper before sliding it down my cock. I wanted to be bare inside her. That one thrust had made me want more.
I was back inside her, moving in time with the beat of my heart. I was chasing something, and it wasn't just a release. I wanted this woman underneath me, the one that was gripping my forearms as if I'd pull out and run away at any second.
It would take time for her to trust me. Time we didn't have.
I lowered my mouth to hers, her lips parting for me to sip. I wanted more. I'd never get enough.
I swallowed her moans as her walls spasmed around me, and then I followed her over, feeling spent and exhausted despite just having woken up.
A few minutes later, she finally said, "That was a nice way to wake up."
"Mmm." I couldn't move, and I almost felt like I could fall asleep again.
She turned so that her breasts brushed the side of my arm. "Do you want breakfast?"
"I wouldn't say no to food."
She kissed my brow. "I'm going to jump in the shower. Then I'll whip something up."
I should have been taking care of her, but the orgasm sucked whatever energy I had right out of my body. I didn't protest when she shifted off the bed and padded into the shower.
The steady beat of the water lulled me to sleep. When I woke up again, the condo smelled like heaven.
This time, I was able to sit up, waiting for the blood to shift. I showered, enjoying the smell of Noelle in my bathroom.
I followed the aroma to the kitchen where Noelle sat at the counter, eating a plate of eggs and reading on her phone. I braced one hand on the counter and one on her back. When she lifted her face to me, I kissed her. "Good morning."
She smiled. "Did you enjoy your nap?"
"It was refreshing." I glanced at the time. I hadn't meant to sleep so late. "I have to eat and run. I have a meeting with my brothers this morning."
Her expression fell slightly. "Oh. I didn't realize."
"The maple syrup festival is going on today. Would you like to go?"
She smiled. "That sounds nice."
I dumped the rest of the eggs onto a plate and grabbed a strip of bacon.
"You're walking without your crutches."
I looked down at my legs. "I'm feeling a lot better."
She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's great."
"I'll be on the mountain again in no time." Snowboarding was the only thing that used to make me feel alive.
"Better than ever, I'm sure." Her voice was soft, and I wanted to reassure her.
I moved to the stool next to her, crowding her with my legs on either side of her stool. "Thank you for last night and this morning."
"It was nice, wasn't it?" she asked without looking at me.
"Better than I hoped," I admitted. I'd wanted to make her feel warm and wanted, but my words sounded trite to my ears.
"What's this maple syrup festival about?" Noelle asked, pulling me away from my plan to make her feel good about last night.
"There's a demonstration on how to make maple syrup, pancakes to eat, and syrup for sale. I thought we could take a short hike and see which trees are plugged."
"That sounds nice."
I ate my eggs quickly, clearing my plate before the text chain fired up, and I received a message from Eli asking where I was.
"I have to go." That's when I realized she hadn't made donuts. "Were you supposed to bake donuts this morning?"
"I overslept, and when I texted Eli, he said not to worry about it. That I should probably have one day off a week. Otherwise, I'd be working every morning, seven days a week."
"I hope I didn't mess anything up for you."
"Eli seemed okay with it."
"You deserve to sleep in." I kissed her upturned mouth. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I'll complete a few of these services this morning." She lifted her phone where she had the personal assistant requests open.
"It's taking off?" At her nod, I said, "Good for you. I knew it would be a success."
I grabbed my shoes and keys and slipped out the door. I didn't want to leave, but we had to deal with Cal. I didn't like the way he was texting her intimidating messages.
I met the guys in the lobby, and we took two trucks to go over to the shop. When we arrived, Cal was at the front counter, and a quick glance at the donut display told me the trays weren't there. It confirmed my suspicion that he wasn't going to make this easy.
"Can I help you?" Cal asked warily.
I hadn't brought the crutches, wanting to appear to be stronger than I was. I wouldn't need to throw any punches though, because I had my brothers at my back. "You have something we need."
He cocked a brow. "Is that so?"
"Why don't we take this to your office," Eli suggested, ever the cooler head in these situations.
Cal motion for us to follow him down the hallway and into the first door on the right. It was a small office filled with boxes of various supplies as if he didn't have a storage room. There weren't any trays.
"You came for Noelle's things," he said simply, his arms crossed over his chest.
"She's getting messages from you that don't sound friendly, if you know what I mean, and she's afraid."
"She needs the Wilde boys to come to her rescue?" Cal asked with a sneer.
I didn't like him calling us boys, and I felt Xander tense behind me, but I held my hand out, holding him back. "We're here for Noelle's trays. We want you to leave her alone."
"I'm not doing anything wrong."
"Your contract with her has been severed. There's no reason for you to contact her anymore. If it continues, it will be considered harassment." It didn't rise to the level of criminal harassment, but I wasn't above bluffing a bit to get him to back down. Guys like Cal only went after people they could bully.
We weren't so easily pushed around.
His gaze travelled over us, and with a huff, he lowered his arms. "She's not worth the trouble." Then he walked out of the room, presumably to get the trays.
Eli rested a hand on my arm. "He's not worth it."
I knew that logically, but I hated how he could so easily push my buttons. I didn't want him talking about Noelle like that. "He shouldn't talk about her, ever."
Eli shook his head. "I don't think he will after this. He only wants to push around people who bend to his will."
"We're sure as fuck not doing that," I said, everything inside me pulled taut.
I didn't like Cal pushing my girl around. My girl? When had Noelle become mine? And would she have something to say about it if she heard?
I wouldn't do something like this for just anyone. I'd be there for Kylie, but I'd never stepped up like this for anyone else. Noelle brought out the protective side of me.
Cal returned with the trays.
"See that you never contact her again or even utter her name."
Cal shrugged. "Whatever."
Before he could say anything else, we walked out.
I got into Eli's truck, and he didn't waste any time asking, "Are you and Noelle a thing or just friends?"
I looked out the window. "We haven't talked about it yet."
He pulled into traffic. "You want something with her?"
I nodded stiffly, my throat tight. I knew what this meant. We couldn't be together, no matter what I wanted.
"I like Noelle. I don't want her to get hurt."
"What do you take me for?" I demanded, feeling a bit like I was on a short fuse after that confrontation with Cal.
Eli shot me a look. "You won't be here for long."
"Don't you think I know that?" It's what had frustration bubbling up in my chest. I'd finally fallen for a woman, and there was no way I could fit her into my life.
"Just be careful with her. She's been through enough."
My gaze swung to his. "Who hurt her?"
"Calm down. No one knows anything about Noelle's dating history. She's just never been with anyone. Isn't that telling enough?"
"Yeah, she doesn't trust anyone. Her dad left. Christoper and Winnie's dad left. Then she lost her scholarship. It was a choice, but it was a loss nonetheless. She's lost a lot. I don't want to cause her any more pain."
"So don't."
"But our situation is impossible."
"It's not if you want it to work out."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I have responsibilities and obligations to my sponsors. To all the people who work for me."
"I don't know how you fit her into your life. I just know if you love her, there's no other option. And I don't want to lose my donut maker."
"Speaking of, was it okay that she missed baking this morning?"
"We'll work it out so she has a morning or two off. No one works seven days a week, and it will make her donuts that much more sought-after."
"That's a good idea."
"It probably won't be weekends, though. Maybe a Monday and Tuesday." Eli glanced over at me before turning his attention to the road in front of us.
Noelle could never travel to visit me, not with her tight schedule here. My races were on the weekends. As much as I didn't want to think about an end date, it was hard not to. "We're just enjoying the time we have now."
"So admit something is going on?"
"I like her. I don't have any other answers for you yet. It's new." I wanted a second chance, but I hadn't thought it through. Would I be walking away from her yet again?
"You're off crutches. You must be feeling better."
"I might be paying for that later, but yeah, I've been cleared to get around without them."
"Just don't overdo it. I wouldn't want your agent blaming us for a setback."
"There won't be a setback." I was well aware of the expectations, the hopes and wishes that I return able-bodied. I was ready for the challenge. I wouldn't let this thing with Noelle come between me and my dream.
"What if you fall in love with her?" Eli asked gently.
I looked out the side window. "I don't know."
"It's going to be hard to be competing half-way across the world when she's here."
"It's going to suck, but I don't know if Noelle wants something serious." She said she'd give me a second chance, not that she'd give me forever. I wasn't positive I even wanted that, especially with our future geographic issues.
"I went through something similar with Scarlett. I was worried she was going to leave. She loved traveling and doing shows. It was just a matter of time before she got called back, and when she did, I hadn't told her how I felt yet. I let her go."
I looked over at him, not having heard this full story before. "I didn't realize."
"Don't make the same mistakes I did."
"I'll try not to." I was the one who'd be leaving though. The pressure was on me. And it wasn't the first time I'd done this to her. We hadn't had a relationship then, but I hadn't reacted to her kiss. I didn't tell her I admired her bravery. I didn't say anything. I disappeared like a coward.
I didn't want to do that this time, and that meant I'd have to be prepared to tell her how I felt when the time came.