Chapter 22
Gracie
My bird was dying.
I could feel my life draining and I couldn”t shift back to my skin. I was stuck.
It was a slow agonizing death. At this point, I was struggling to breathe.
Being a phoenix didn”t exactly come with a handbook. I knew I couldn”t die from fire. It had always made me feel invincible, immortal even, like I could always defy death. Apparently, that was all bullshit.
I may not be able to die by fire, but the thick smoke was destroying my tiny lungs in this form, and it was too late for me to do anything about it.
Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.
Ryan.
It made me feel safe again as my body shuddered and leaned into him.
“I think the smoke was too much for her bird,” Big Dick said. “She started to go lethargic about five minutes ago.”
“You can”t take her,” Dan protested.
Ryan had turned to walk away.
“She needs medical attention,” Rodney explained.
“And the doctor is at the evacuation shelter.”
“Ryan,” I heard Clarence say.
When he stopped but neither of them said anything, I forced myself to look up to see some sort of silent exchange going on between them. It was like they were in a standoff and then Clarence actually conceded to him.
“Let him go.”
“But Gracie . . .” Big Dick started to protest.
“He”s not going to let anything bad happen to her. They”re mated.”
I wanted to deny it, to yell and scream that it wasn”t true. But all I could manage was a pathetic little cry that Rodney immediately took for pain.
“She”s hurting. You have to move quickly.”
I wanted to protest. I wanted to beg them to just throw me back into the fire, but instead, Ryan carried me away.
I wasn”t the one hurting. He was. In my fragile state, I could feel it so clearly.
Now, if I survived this, I was going to have to face the guys. The whole station would soon know that Ryan and I were mated, and that he had rejected me. I would rather die than for them all to realize I”m the loser who couldn”t even keep a true mate.
But he was here, and his pain and actions told me he cared. Maybe that would be enough to allow my soul to go in peace.
Apparently, it wasn”t enough for me to have to deal with my unit. Now I was going to be the talk of the entire town because he wrapped me to his chest like a small child, jumped on a motorcycle, and took off to the evacuation shelter where literally everyone was staying.
If I didn”t die from smoke inhalation, I was surely going to from embarrassment.
Everyone was going to know now.
“Doc, I need a priority here. Gracie gave up her oxygen tank to Rodney when something happened to his in the bowels of this fire. Everyone got out safe, but her bird isn”t doing well. You have to help her.”
“I have two mothers in labor from the excitement here, Ryan.”
“Well, I just made this your top priority. Women have babies every single day, they”ll survive. If we don”t do anything, my mate might not!”
Oh God, just take me now,I thought.
He just dropped the mate-bomb in front of an entire gymnasium full of accelerated hearing shifters. I could already hear the whispers beginning.
“Your mate?”
“I did not stutter,” he said with a fierceness of authority I”d never experienced from him before.
Dean Davenport came running to our side.
“Um, perhaps we should take this to another room. You”re causing a scene, Ryan.”
“I don”t give a shit as long as Gracie survives this.”
Well shit. Any speculation on who he was talking about was clearly just confirmed.
I pecked at his chest trying to get him to shut the hell up.
Dean laughed. “I think she agrees with me.”
But Ryan just carefully stroked my feathered head.
“Come on. I have a few examination rooms for privacy down the hall. I”m afraid the power has gone out here and throughout much of the town, but we brought in a few candles to help light the way.”
I squawked. What were they thinking? Was he trying to burn the high school down too?
“Relax, Gracie. We”re taking extra precautions.”
He was too. The candle in question sat in an oversized pickle jar. Unless it was knocked over and the candle popped out of the top or the glass shattered, they were as safe as possible.
The glass was so large that I was fairly certain I could fit into it in this form. An idea started to formulate, but first I had to get away from Ryan, and he wasn”t going to make that easy.
I tried to make a sound and it came out wheezier than I expected. My lungs burned. I shivered.
“Do something!” he demanded.
“Well, let the poor girl go so I can take a listen.”
Reluctantly, he eased up on me and when he did, I used it to my advantage and flew right into the pickle jar. My wings were heavy, and it wasn”t easy, but if I could just catch fire, everything would be okay.
Doc lunged for me as Ryan cursed and tried to get me out, but the candle was just enough to light the tips of my wings.
I knew he was going to be pissed.
I didn”t want to look at him and see that disappointment.
But as the flame lit up around me, I dared a look. What I saw there was fear, not anger.
When this was over, Ryan and I were going to have to sit down and have a long talk about things.
Gia had encouraged me to pursue him, and while I wanted to, I was also worried that things weren”t going to go all that well. But his actions today had given me hope. I just needed to make him see that this was a part of me. It wasn’t scary or something to be feared. This was just me being as real and vulnerable as I possibly could.
The flash of light was brilliant, and soon everything was in peaceful darkness where nothing seemed to exist. It didn”t seem to last as long as usual before Ryan’s voice pierced through it.
“Gracie. Please, come back to me. I”m sorry.”
A spot of light appeared and grew quickly as I was reborn again. I already felt stronger and could breathe easier. I knew I’d been right to resurrect again. It made me whole, just as I knew it would.
I flew out of the jar and over to my mate to perch on his shoulder.
“I”ve heard of our little phoenix, but I”ll confess, I”ve never seen anything like it before. She already looks better. Let me see her and take a listen now.”
Ryan carefully held me in his arms but refused to fully relinquish me while Doc checked my vitals.
“All clear. Amazing.”
“She really is,” Ryan said, filling my body with warmth.
“I”ll leave the two of you alone for a bit so I can check on my laboring mothers. If you have any concerns, just come find me. But I suspect she knew exactly what she was doing.”
Ryan didn”t respond until Doc was gone and we were all alone. It felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, afraid to shift and have him yell at me or tell me he was done with us again.
It had been an emotionally draining day, and I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I was vulnerable and struggling to be so in front of him, so I just stayed in my raven.
“Look, I know I”ve been handling this mating thing all wrong. But right now, I”m about to lose it. I have to know you”re okay, Gracie. Can you please shift and talk to me? Or are you unable to shift? Is it that bad?”
He was spiraling as he freaked out.
I couldn”t stand to see him that way, so I shifted, covering myself awkwardly.
He frowned, and the look in his eyes nearly broke me.
“You don”t have to hide from me. I”m not going to hurt you.”
But he was wrong. He”d already hurt me deeper than anyone else ever could.
“I”m fine. I knew you didn”t want to see that, and I wish you hadn”t, but I was struggling, and my lungs were burning. My uh, gift, restores my health when I resurrect.”
“So you’re okay now?”
I managed a sad smile and nodded because that felt like a loaded question, and I couldn”t begin to explain to him just how not okay I”d been.
But he was here now and that had to mean something, right?
“Well, um, good. That”s good.”
Ryan was stumbling for words. Was he nervous? With me? I didn”t know it was even possible for this man to get nervous. Then again, he”d done a lot of things I didn”t know he was capable of over the last hour.
He”d cradled and protected me when I was hurt even after telling me he couldn”t be with me.
He’d ridden a motorcycle without a helmet, even. I had no idea he could take such risks.
I wanted to tease him about it and go back to the way things were before we”d discovered we were true mates. Ever since that moment things had been off between us, strained. I hated it.
We”d done okay though, so I thought maybe if we kept it to business then things wouldn”t be quite so awkward.
“Uh, I should probably get back over and check in with the Chief.”
“You have the day off.”
“Clarence didn”t tell me that.”
“I”m telling you that.”
“What?”
“Clarence may be your boss, but I”m his boss. And I say you are done for the day.”
I growled in frustration. “You do not have that authority over me.”
“I”m the mayor. I can override Clarence”s decisions, and I say you”re done. I don”t want you anywhere near that fire again.”
“You can”t be serious. Ryan, that”s my job.”
“Then I guess you”ll have to find a new one.”
“You”re being ridiculous.”
“I could have lost you today, Gracie. I am not being ridiculous, and I will not be swayed on this.”
“And I have no say in the matter.”
“Not as long as you keep putting yourself at risk.”
“Oh, here we go again. Reckless Gracie who doesn’t think before she acts. That”s bullshit, Ryan, and if you could just get your head out of your ass for two minutes then you”d know it too.”
He glared at me, and I knew in that moment that he was not used to people talking back to him. His word was authority, and I doubted he was even used to be questioned. But I wasn”t going to roll over and just give on this.
“My job is important to me. My crew is the only family I have left. I will do whatever is necessary to protect them. Do you hear me? And if that means I die and come back a hundred times just to get any one of them out of a fire safely, then dammit, I”m going to do just that. There is absolutely nothing you can say or do to change that.”
I didn”t wait for him to react as he stood there in shock staring at me. Instead, I cracked open the window, shifted, and flew away. I knew that at the end of the day, I had to protect myself, especially my heart.