Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
GOOSE
Pulling her body against mine, I touch my lips to her shoulder. Cidney and I didn’t talk much last night. I’m not sure there was much to say. She was tipsy, and there was only one thing I wanted to do with a tipsy Cidney.
We fucked, we slept, we fucked again, we slept some more, and now it’s nine in the morning, and I gotta get ready to go down to the clubhouse, but I don’t want to leave her. I want to stay right here, warm in bed with her and wrapped around her body.
“Why are you awake?” she asks, her voice groggy.
She hasn’t moved an inch, but clearly, she’s awake and alert enough to ask me questions. Which surprises me, because I know she didn’t get quality sleep and is likely a bit hungover this morning.
“I have to get down to the clubhouse pretty soon.”
She rolls over in my arms, lifting her hands between us. I close my eyes in a slow blink when she cups my cheeks. Opening my eyes, I watch as hers flutter open and her gaze locks in on mine.
Her lips curve up into a small smile, and my cock twitches at the sight.
She’s so goddamn beautiful, I can’t believe I’m here with her.
Even if it’s supposed to be forbidden and wrong, right this moment, I can’t seem to give a fuck.
She moans at the feel of my hard dick pressed against her belly, and I seriously have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my control in check.
“Don’t make those kinds of noises, Cidney. I know you can’t fuck me again.”
She whimpers softly. “No, I don’t think I could,” she confesses.
It’s cute as fuck.
Shifting my face closer, I touch my mouth to hers, then clear my throat and shift back slightly. My lips curve up into a grin. I can’t look away from her. I have seriously fucking fallen for this woman.
I decide that this is the perfect time to tell her that, too. I don’t know how she’s going to take it, and I’m not sure I care, because at the end of the day, in my world, it doesn’t matter. I’m the one in control.
However, even with all of that being said, if I thought she didn’t want me, I wouldn’t force her to do anything, but I know she does. I can see it in her eyes, feel it when she kisses me, when I’m inside her. I know what my woman wants, and it’s exactly what I want—more.
More of this. More of one another. Just plain more.
“I’m claiming you today, Cidney.”
Her eyes widen, and she asks me a question that I know she knows the answer to. “What do you mean? Claiming me?”
I arch a brow, and my lips twitch into a smirk. “You know exactly what I mean.”
She presses her lips together, rolling them a few times before she speaks. When she does, I can sense the panic that is flowing through her. She’s scared, but I don’t think it’s for herself.
I think it’s for me.
She knows that Ivy could kill me for this. He won’t, but he could. If he was going to kill me over it, he would have done it already. In the back of his mind, Ivy knows exactly what we’re doing together.
“I need to talk to Ivy first,” she says, her voice cracking slightly and elevated. I can hear the fear and panic in her tone. She doesn’t need that, not with me, not fucking ever.
“Baby, I got you,” I state.
“No, seriously, I need to talk to him.” Her words are coming out in a rush.
I laugh softly, leaning forward and touching my lips to her forehead. Closing my eyes, I inhale her scent, then shift back slightly, my gaze focused on hers. My lips curve up into a small smile, my eyes never leaving her worried gaze.
“You don’t need to talk to him. I got this, and I got you. He already knows. I’m just going to make it official.”
“I don’t want him to kill you,” she whispers.
My laughter isn’t boisterous, but it’s unmistakable. She still seems horrified, so I bring her body closer to mine, dragging her across the bed. She presses her palms against my chest, her head shifting back slightly so she can continue to look into my eyes.
“He’s not going to kill me, Cidney. I’d be dead already if that’s what he wanted. He’ll ask me some questions, we’ll tussle, or rather, he’ll throw a few punches at me. I’ll take them, and that will be that.”
“Are you sure about that?” she asks.
“Let your man handle this,” I say.
“My man,” she whispers.
Pressing my mouth against hers, I kiss her hard before I speak against her lips. “Your fucking man.”
CIDNEY
We don’t have sex again before he leaves to go to the clubhouse, and I’m not sure why, but I feel sad about that. My center aches, my body is sore and tired, and I’m a little hungover, but I wanted him one last time.
I’m under no illusion that last night, this morning, whenever it was we were together, was the last time.
I’m pretty sure it was. I mean, yes, he’s saying all the right things to me.
He’s telling me he wants more, that he wants to claim me, that he wants us to be together, but I know that once he speaks with Ivy, that could all change.
If Justin says no, Goose will respect that.
I know he will, even if he doesn’t want to.
He’ll walk away from me and never look back.
Justin may be okay with us fooling around and pretending it’s not happening, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be accepting of us really being together.
That he would be cool with us having a future with one another.
I’ve kept my distance from the club for several different reasons over the years, but the men have been the biggest. Along with the women, well, the club girls.
I hate to call them whores, even though I know that’s what they are.
But it looks like the club’s come to me, and I can’t pretend I don’t love it.
Because I do.
Family and love. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and while my aunt, uncle, and Justin love me and I love them, I also have all the other wives and girlfriends as friends, feeling their love, and then also Goose.
It’s different, and I’ve never felt so accepted in my life.
I want more of this feeling. Surrounded by a family, found and biological, just feels… lovely.
For something I never wanted, to be tied to a member of that club, I really freaking love being tied to Goose. I don’t even know his real name, and I don’t care. I don’t give a single shit. It’s not his name that I’ve fallen in love with. It’s the man.
I love him.
Madly, deeply, absolutely crazily, I love him.
I’m sitting on the sofa, a warm cup of coffee in my hand, a show I’m not paying attention to streaming on the television in front of me, when my phone buzzes, and I almost jump out of my skin.
Every muscle in my entire body tightens.
I assume it’s a breakup text or a Goose is in the hospital text, but it’s not.
POSEY: I heard they’re meeting today. Do you want me to come over?
I chew on the corner of the nail on my thumb for a moment, reading her text a few times before I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and reply.
I’m good. I’m just hanging out watching TV.
It’s not a lie—well, at least not fully. The television is on, but I’m not watching anything. Nothing could hold my attention at this point, and I would be a terrible hostess. All I can think about is Goose and Justin.
And in all honesty, in this situation, all I can think about is selfishly my place in this, in the future, because I don’t know that I have much of a future here in Thunder Rock without Goose.
POSEY: I’m here if you need me.
Thanks.
Pinching my eyes closed, I inhale deeply through my nose, then let it out of my mouth slowly. I need to relax a little. Being this worked up over something that I have zero way of controlling isn’t good for me.
I start to stand up when I decide that there is something I can do to make my life a little better and take my mind off everything. It’s a different kind of stressful situation, and this one I can control.
Well, kind of anyway.
Opening up the search engine app on my phone, I begin hunting for a job.
I don’t know if there will be anything anywhere near me, but I can hope there is, so I can stay.
Because I do want to stay. I have every single person in the world I know right here in Thunder Rock with me.
The idea that I could actually leave was something that I was thinking about out of desperation.
But I’m not sure I could actually go anywhere, not unless I had no other choice.
A job listing catches my eye, and I pause to read it. Well, there are two that interest me. One is a waitress at the nicest restaurant in the area, The Copper Pot. The other is a receptionist position for a doctor in town. I recognize his name. He’s the doctor who helped Lightning when he was shot.
Dr. George Edwards.
This job listing holds my attention and distracts me from what could be happening to Goose and to our future at the moment. Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I decide to send in my resume.
It’s probably a long shot, but I at least want to try. Because if I don’t try to take control of what I can right now, I’m going to feel like I’m spiraling. And the last thing Goose needs when he gets done with whatever it is he’s doing is me acting like a complete fucking crazy person.
Maybe I should call Posey.
She would probably be very helpful in talking me off the ledge…
if I allowed myself to venture toward said ledge.
But as I open up my laptop and begin to work on my resume, something I haven’t had to look at since Justin made me do it three years ago when he hired me right out of high school, I can’t help but feel distracted… and a bit melancholy.
Reaching for my phone, I glance at the text message app and wonder if I should text Posey or maybe Lainey. Shaking my head, I shift my focus back to my computer and work on my resume. This is what I need to do right now.
I’m not sure how long it takes for me to get everything just the way I want it.
Still, when I upload and submit it to the doctor’s office email address, I let out a long exhale.
I’m not sure if it’s relief or what. I don’t get to revel in that feeling of anxious accomplishment for long because the door swings open, bouncing against the wall.
Turning my head, I watch as Justin and Maverick drag Goose into the middle of my living room and drop his seemingly lifeless, bloody body in the middle of my carpet. My lips part, my entire body frozen as I flick my gaze down to him, then up to meet Justin’s.
He is wearing an ugly expression on his face, and it doesn’t fade as he watches me.
He shakes his head once, then takes a step backward, his gaze never leaving mine.
I open my mouth to ask him if everything is okay, if we’re okay, but he only shakes his head once, turns around, and walks out of the apartment.
Maverick doesn’t disappear as quickly or quietly. Instead, he clears his throat. My attention shifts from the empty doorway to him. He tilts his chin slightly, his eyes moving from mine to the floor, then back to meet mine.
“Take care of him. I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you both.”
Then he spins on his heels and walks out of my apartment, following the same path as Justin but gently closing the door behind him. I don’t make a move toward where Goose is immediately. Because my focus is on the way Justin looked at me and wordlessly walked away.
Until Goose moans.