Chapter 30 – JAX
JAX
The full moon hangs low over the trees. I can feel its pull making my skin too tight and drawing my wolf too close to the surface.
Tonight’s run is mandatory. Every pack member and every wolf on our land here to see the Games is expected to attend.
There’s going to be a lot of wolves, a lot of powerful shifters, hyped up and ready for some fun. My wolf relishes the thought of it, itching for a physical release for all his pent-up frustration, but I know that attending is likely to be a very, very bad idea.
With my unmarked mate wandering around, being admired by all these males, including her ex, who clearly has some regret, we’re almost guaranteed to get into trouble.
I’ve been training in the gym since sunset, trying to burn off the energy that’s buzzing through my veins, to tire him out as much as I can before the run. If I attend the run, and if I can sit through the final of the Games without incident, then maybe Zane will leave me alone.
Those are some big ifs.
I find myself outside Camille’s cabin without consciously deciding to come here. The small wooden structure sits at the edge of the pack compound, windows dark. Despite knowing she’s not home, I climb the stairs, cross the porch, and linger at her door, my wolf reluctant to leave.
Resting my fingers on the brass doorknob, I hesitate, then, already knowing I shouldn’t, I grip the handle and twist it.
The door swings open.
Pack members rarely need to lock their doors, but I’m still not happy considering what she’s just been through.
Anyone could wander in just as I have.
It’s not really breaking and entering, I reason to myself, as I step into her private space. She’s my mate. I’m just making sure she’s safe.
Breathing deeply, I growl in pleasure as her intoxicating scent fills my lungs.
The urge to find her and mate isn’t getting easier to deal with; it’s getting worse.
Staying away from her tonight will be impossible.
My wolf is practically giddy at the thought of seeing hers.
I already know she’s going to be magnificent.
With the need to be close to her nowhere close to being sated, and an ethical line already crossed, I move further inside.
Her space is organized chaos. Books on magic, law journals and scribbled on sheets of paper litter the coffee table, pages marked with colored tabs. A half-empty coffee mug sits by the sink, with a lipstick smudge still on the rim.
Her jacket hangs over a kitchen chair, and I pick it up without thinking. The leather smells like her, and the weight of her knife pulls down one side. I press it to my face and breathe deeply. It’s a poor substitute for the real thing, but I’ll take what I can get.
“Planning to steal that too?” She stands in the doorway, silhouetted by moonlight. “A scarf is one thing...”
Dressed casually in tight black leggings that show every curve and a dark tank top that leaves her arms bare, she looks more beautiful than ever. Her shoes dangle from one hand as she watches me carefully.
“I was just...” I set the jacket down where I got it and close my eyes. She knows exactly what I was doing, so there’s no point in lying. “I needed… you.”
I can’t explain it, just that without seeing her, without being close, I don’t feel like myself. Not my old self, who was always anxious and on edge, but the newer, happier version of me I’ve gotten used to having around.
“It’s okay, Jax.” She steps inside, closing the door with her hip as she sets her shoes down. “I could feel your presence through...” She gestures between us, acknowledging the pull that we have yet to cement into an official bond. “And it’s nice to see you here.”
I rake a hand through my hair, probably making it look even wilder than it did before. My eyes are already glowing, and it’s a battle to stay on this side of the room. Just being this close to her is a test of my willpower.
I’m so screwed.
“You came to say you’re not going.” She pads barefoot across the wooden floor. “I can see it on your face.”
No anger. No guilt trip. Just a quiet acceptance that makes me deeply unsettled. She was expecting me to disappoint her?
“Raven will be there. He’ll push and prod, and well, my wolf, he’ll…”
My eyes land on a shiny gold chain, resting inside a jewelry box on the table. It’s his. I don’t even need her to tell me that. And she was still wearing it the day she arrived.
“We can handle it together.” She stops in front of me, hands on hips, close enough that I can feel her body heat. That I could reach out and grab her. “That’s what…” She frowns, throwing her hands up in the air, not sure what to call us, “friends do.”
Friends. Not mates. And I have nobody to blame but myself.
“You don’t understand what it’s like.” I grip the back of the chair, knuckles white. The wood creaks under my hands. “My wolf and me... I want things. Want to do things. To you. With you. And a pack run is not the time or place to test the limits of my control.”
She tilts her head as if she doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about. “What do you think I don’t understand?”
I groan. “There’s nothing friendly about what my wolf will do if he gets you alone out there.”
To prove his point, my wolf sends me a barrage of images. Camille pressed against a tree, her skin-tight leggings yanked down to her knees, while I bury my face and then my cock between her thighs.
“What do you want to do?” The question is quiet, but I hear the challenge underneath. She’s not going to let me dance around this. “Do you want to… bite me?”
With a frustrated growl, I step nearer, dipping my head to inhale her scent straight from the skin of her neck, from the exact spot where her mark would go. It’s heavenly and does nothing to quell the need inside me.
“Yes, I want to mark you.” The words tumble out, too honest, too raw, while my lips brush against her delicate skin as I speak. “Fuck, Camille. That’s just the bare minimum he’ll accept.”
She moans in delight, not moving lest she scare me off.
“Then? What else?”
With a wild growl, I march her backward until her back hits the wall, and I’m looming over her, hips pressed to hers, fingers tangling in her hair.
“I want to claim you in front of everyone. Want to take you into the woods, shove you onto your knees and...” I cut myself off, jaw clenching so hard, my teeth ache.
This woman is my mate. These desires just show me how fucked up my wolf is.
There’s nothing respectful about the things I want to do to her body.
Shaking my head, I mutter, “There’s something wrong with me.”
Camille moves closer, but I catch her wrist before she can touch me. Her pulse races under my fingers, but not from fear.
“What you want scares you,” she states. Not a question. She twists her wrist in my grip, not to get away, but to link our fingers together.
I nod. “It should scare you too.”
I don’t let go of her hand because I can’t.
“You won’t hurt me.” Her wolf flashes in her eyes, defiant, spurring mine on, and I rock my hips forward, letting her feel just how much I want her, all the time.
I close my eyes as my wolf supplies more inventive images.
Camille on her knees, my hands holding her head in place as I fuck her mouth. My hands tugging on her long golden hair as I take her from behind, my chest against her back, slippery with sweat, one arm moving around her neck…
“You don’t know that.” My voice cracks on the words.
What kind of man wants to put his mate in a headlock as he claims her roughly from behind? A broken one, that’s who.
“Yes, I do.” She uses our joined hands to pull herself closer. “You let go of Raven when I asked. And you could have broken your chains at any point when I came to you.”
Instead of admitting that she’s right, I grind my teeth. She doesn’t understand.
“This is different. The full moon…”
One side of her mouth quirks up into an indulgent smile as she gently strokes the dark curls at the back of my neck, letting her nails drag along my skin, before sliding them over my shoulders and onto my chest.
“It makes everything feel stronger. I know.” Her fingers spread over my heart, feeling it’s too-fast rhythm. “But if you show you can handle this pack run, you can handle anything.”
She makes it sound so easy.
“And what if I want all those things you think are so bad?” Her voice drops, barely above a whisper. “What if I want you to mark me in public? What if I have no problem with you taking me where anyone could see? Let them hear how easily you make me come.”
My control, already frayed, snaps. I lift her, wrapping her legs around my waist, and slam her back against the wall. One hand still tangled in her hair, gripping her neck, the other slides up her side to roughly massage her breast.
She makes a soft sound, melting into me rather than pulling away.
“Don’t say things like that.” My voice is rough, more growl than words. “You’re getting his hopes up.”
The kiss is inevitable, testing at first, then deeper as her arms wind around my neck.
“I’ll say whatever I want.” She nips me on my chin and kisses my marking spot, claiming the position just as territorially by leaving her scent there.
Fuck, this woman is incredible.
The guilt of knowing that my departure will hurt her ten times worse if we’re marked is the only thing holding me back. I’m trying to be the good guy here, to protect her, but fuck if I don’t want to be selfish and sink my teeth into her perfect skin right now.
“I think this run will help you. Let your wolf loose instead of holding him back. Even if you don’t want to mark me, we can still let our animals have some fun.”
She’s been sent here to test me.
I hold her tight, pulling her in for another desperate kiss. When we break apart, we’re both breathing hard. Her lips are swollen, eyes dark with want.
“Come, run with me.” She stays close, our foreheads touching. “We’ll take it one step at a time.”
“It could be a train wreck.” My wolf might make everything worse and seal my fate. The admission costs me, but she deserves honesty.
“Stick close to me. I’ll make sure everyone knows we’re together. That might help him stay calm.” She pulls back to meet my eyes. “Please.”
There’s no way I can say no to her. Even though something deep inside tells me I should.