Chapter 6 Trish
TRISH
With the peace and quiet of the cabin, the knot in my stomach unwinds as the morning goes on. I give Rose tummy time on the rug, and she giggles as I pull funny faces at her.
We go for a walk outside but not too far from the cabin. Joseph freaked me out when he talked about bears.
There’s a vegetable garden surrounded by chicken wire and a greenhouse with the last of the season’s tomatoes. I pull out a few weeds and pick a shiny red tomato to have with lunch.
Rose gets restless, so I bring her in for another bottle and change her into the last diaper. It reminds me how lucky we are to have found Joseph. If he hadn’t have shown up at Hailey’s, I don’t know what I would have done. And if I didn’t have Hailey to run to in the first place…
I shudder at the thought and pull Rose close to my chest.
She gurgles happily, and I walk her around the cabin until she falls asleep.
It’s usually the only way she can get to sleep, resting on me.
Maybe she tuned in to the turmoil that was going on in the trailer where we came from.
But for whatever reason, she won’t sleep unless she’s pressed up against me.
I walk around the cabin, rhythmically pacing until her breathing gets heavy. Once I know she’s asleep, I slow down and peer at the photos on the cabin walls.
There’s a group of men in front of big motorbikes like the one I noticed parked in a shed behind the cabin.
They’re all wearing the same leather jackets that Joseph has, but for a motorcycle club, they look friendlier than I would have imagined.
I find Joseph near the back. He’s the only one not smiling.
His blue eyes stare intently at the camera.
Another photo shows him in his military uniform, standing tall with a group of men. He looks haunted, his gaze looking down, unable to meet the eye of the camera.
It makes me wonder why he left the military and how he ended up here. There’s a lot I don’t know about Joseph, only that he’s kind and I feel safe in his presence. And for now, that’s enough.
My arm aches, and I risk putting Rose down. I ease her between the towels of the makeshift baby bed, holding my breath as I lower her onto the bedding. She stirs but doesn’t wake up. Relieved, I tip-toe out of the room but leave the door open so I’ll hear her as soon as she wakes.
I make myself another cup of coffee and a tomato and cheese sandwich and eat them with my feet tucked under me on the couch.
I try Hailey again, but the call doesn’t connect.
If she was going away on a big vacation, she would have told me, so it’s likely this trip is only a weekend break and she’ll be back tomorrow.
Then what?
When I left the trailer, I didn’t have a plan past getting the hell away from Ian. I knew my sister would take me in, and I could figure out my next move from there. It’s hard to make plans when you’re fighting for survival.
I guess I’ll look for a job and a place to stay. Hailey’s got her own baby on the way, so I don’t want to intrude on them for any longer than I have to.
If only I could stay here forever. It’s so peaceful and Joseph is so kind, not to mention the way my core tightens whenever he’s nearby.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of a car. My gut clenches, and I duck behind the couch with my heart racing. My hands grip the top of the couch, and I’m about to make a dash to the bedroom to get Rose when I recognize Joseph’s pickup.
It’s just Joseph returning.
Of course it is. You’re safe here.
I get out from behind the couch before he can see me. My heart’s still racing, and I check on Rose. The sight of her sleeping peacefully calms my nerves.
I pull the door almost shut so we don’t wake her, then head outside to help Joseph with the shopping.
“I’ll give you a hand.”
He grunts and nods, which I’m learning means thank you. He’s a man of few words, and I like that. I’m also learning that he might not talk much, but he thinks a lot. Behind his quiet demeanor, his brain is working overtime.
I grab a shopping bag from the back and gasp in surprise when I see the name on the bag.
“You went to Babyland?” It’s a franchise of baby gear that’s way out of my price range.
“Noticed you need a few things.”
By a few things, he means two big shopping bags worth. My heart warms at his thoughtfulness. I’ve never felt so cared for, and I still can’t believe it’s a complete stranger that’s looking after me and Rose.
In the bags are baby clothes, toys, a changing mat, and a sling, which will save my sore arm. Joseph must have noticed how I’m always carrying her around, how she cries whenever I put her down. The thoughtfulness makes my eyes sting and I blink quickly, not wanting to cry again.
“This will have to do for now, until I can build you a proper one.”
Joseph holds a box that says ‘travel crib’ on the side. It must have cost a fortune.
“You didn’t have to do this.” My eyes are welling up, and damn this man who makes me cry and makes my body tingle and makes me feel safe and normal for the first time in months.
“You’re mine to look after Trish, you and Rose.”
His words are confusing again, because Rose is not his baby and her biological father isn’t interested in caring for her, so why would this stranger be? But I like the idea of being his.
“Here.” He hands me a small package. “This one’s for you.”
I open the brown wrapping paper and turn the object over in my hand.
It’s a hair comb, a polished bronze design with a cluster of pink roses on the side. It’s beautiful and not what I was expecting from a man like Joseph.
“So you can keep your hair pinned back. It gets in the way when you’re feeding the little one.”
Tears sting my eyes. It’s the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me, and it’s from a virtual stranger.
“Thank you.” But I can’t say anything else or I’ll cry again.
Joseph must sense that, because he takes the clip off me. “May I?”
I love that he asked before he touched me, because I probably would have flinched if he hadn’t. His rough hand slides over my silky hair, and the sensation sends sparks of heat through my body. He’s so close his woodsy scent tickles my nostrils and make me want to pull him closer.
I close my eyes and inhale, loving the way he smells of fresh pine and woodsmoke, loving his touch and letting the sensations unfurling in my belly warm me up.
This is what it feels like to be touched by a man. Gentle, loving, and with care. Not rough and mean and hurtful.
I feel Joseph’s touch all the way through my body to my very soul. Warmth spreads though my veins, warming up my belly and snaking right to my core. Heat wells up between my legs, and my core throbs with need.
It’s been so long since I was touched with tenderness, and a whimper escapes my lips as Joseph scoops my hair off my neck and slides the clip into place.
He’s so close that his breath tickles my skin, sending tendrils of heat through my veins. His fingers pause behind my ear, and his breathing is ragged. Neither of us move and I hold my breath, not wanting this moment to end.
His fingertips brush behind my ear and trail down the soft skin of my neck.
I tilt my head back, an invitation to keep going, hardly daring to breathe.
He leans forward and gently presses his mouth to the delicate skin at the nape of my neck.
At his touch, my body is on fire. I whimper as his mouth moves over my skin, his fingers sliding under the collar of my t-shirt.
Suddenly, he stiffens. And I freeze, remembering what’s caused him to stop. I pull away, but it’s too late.
“Who did this to you?”
His voice has a dangerous edge that I’ve not heard from him before, and it sets warning bells ringing. I scoot to the other side of the room, putting myself between him and Rose.
He must see the fear in my eyes, because his voice softens.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Trish. I would never hurt you. But somebody has.”
You get so used to living with the marks on your body that you forget they’re there. The fingerprints on my neck, the bruising on my collar. I run my hand over them now, embarrassed that Joseph has seen them.
“Is that why you ran?”
Joseph has his hands up in a placating gesture and he’s trying to keep his voice calm, but there’s rage simmering underneath.
“Yes,” I whisper.
The confession feels good. I’ve never admitted it to anyone before. I couldn’t tell Hailey, because I was too ashamed. She wouldn’t have understood how you could stay with a man who does that to you.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
I hesitate. I’ve never talked about the way Ian treated me. It’s embarrassing to admit that the person who’s supposed to love you hurts you.
But as I look at Joseph, this burly man who could snap me in two if he wanted but has shown me nothing but kindness, I feel exhausted.
I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of pretending everything’s okay. I want to tell him; I want him to see all my hidden parts. I feel I can trust him with my hurt.
Joseph takes a seat on the couch, and I join him. And once I start talking, I can’t stop.
I tell him about Ian being my high school boyfriend and how it started out well, but when we moved into the trailer together things changed.
How I was going to leave him, but then I got pregnant. I thought the baby would change things, but it made them worse. He couldn’t cope with the crying. He blamed me and took it out on me. That I could handle.
But the morning I left, he squeezed my neck so hard that I passed out.
When I came to, he was standing over the crib with Rose in his hands.
She was screaming as he held her in front of him.
I grabbed her off him before he could do anything.
I don’t know if he would have hurt her, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out.
Ian left the trailer and I grabbed our bag, took the jar of money he had stashed away, and fled.
That’s why I have hardly anything with us. I couldn’t risk staying another moment in that place. I had to get her away from him.
Joseph listens in silence. A vein pulsing on his neck is the only indication that he’s taking it all in and how angry it’s making him to hear.
After I finish telling him my pathetic story, he takes my hand in his, his blue eyes sparking dangerously.
“I’ll kill that fucking asshole.”
There’s a grim conviction in his voice that makes me shiver. I’m reminded of the man in uniform, the military man, the trained killer. I hate Ian, but I’d never want anyone dead.
“Don’t do that,” I whisper. “I got away from him. I’m never going back.”
Joseph pulls me toward him, and I sink into his warmth. His touch is electric, and I want him to keep kissing me the way he was before he saw the marks on my neck.
“I promise you this, Trish. I will never let anything happen to you or Rose. You understand?”
I nod, although I’m not sure I do. How can this virtual stranger make this promise to me and the daughter that isn’t his? But I can tell by the conviction in his voice that he’s serious.
“You’re mine to protect. And I will protect you both with my life.”
It’s a pledge, and a man who’s sworn an oath to die for his country doesn’t make promises lightly. The tightness in my stomach eases, and I lean into him.
I’ve got Joseph fighting in my corner. I don’t understand why, but it feels right.