Chapter 16
Warm. I was so warm.
And content. Such a bland word. Content. But it was something I rarely felt. Contentment wasn’t in the emotional arsenal for a man like me. My work was dangerous, and I was rarely in a place I wanted to be. I did what I had to do and moved on to the next mission.
But I felt it now. And I fucking liked it. A lot.
I wasn’t fully awake, but I already knew moving on was the last thing I wanted. For the first time in years, I wanted to stay exactly where I was. Content.
My eyes opened, the wood beams of the ceiling coming into focus, my brain registering the warm, soft weight draped over me, the smell of Quinn’s hair, the silk of it tangled in my fingers. There was the answer for my rare state of contentment. Quinn.
I stayed where I was, completely still, not ready to surrender this feeling. Not yet. I wanted a few more seconds of knowing I was exactly where I wanted to be, wanted to hold on to all of it. The cabin, this bed. This woman.
When we left here, this would be over. I shouldn’t have touched her in the first place. Back at Heartstone, back in the world—this couldn’t ever happen again. But for now, I had her here, in my arms. For just a little longer I could pretend she was mine.
Bright light illuminated the edges of the blanket I”d hung over the window. I knew what it meant. The snow had passed, and I had to find a way to get Quinn out of here.
She was right. The trail would be treacherous in this much snow. But not as treacherous as staying here and waiting for a bullet to the brain.
I would never risk Quinn like that. With visibility no longer an issue, I’d call my team, have them meet us at the cabin and get her to the Manor, where we could keep her safe. My gut twisted. She was going to hate being trapped indoors, under guard. By the time we figured out who was after her, she’d probably hate me for it. I could live with that. I couldn’t live with Quinn being hurt. Not again.
I’d sworn to myself that this wasn’t going to happen. Never. I would never dishonor my friendship with Griffen by laying a finger on his baby sister. I would never mix business with pleasure. Never. So many fucking nevers. But here I was, bare-ass naked with Quinn draped over me, every inch of her soft and smooth and perfect.
She looked like a delicate fairy, and while she didn”t weigh much compared to me, her slight frame hid unexpected strength. Beneath that soft skin was dense muscle. She was strong. Capable. She was smart and funny and damn good company.
If we were in another life… If I was another man; if there wasn’t an asshole out there with zip ties who wanted to take her?—
I could have stayed with her forever. For just a second I let myself picture it. The cabin, with Quinn. Hiking, fishing, playing cards in front of the fire, taking her to bed at night, waking with her in the morning.
It was impossible. All of it was impossible. Not just because of Griffen or the man with the zip ties. What I had inside me wasn’t for Quinn. She deserved the light. Love. I couldn’t give her that. I was stained with darkness, with death, with a thousand wrong choices I could never take back.
My fingers tightened on her shoulder. I had seconds left. Seconds before I’d have to admit it was time to get up. To end all of this. This cozy bed, the down comforter pulled up to Quinn’s shoulders, her soft breath on my skin. It would all end. The thing I wanted most, I”d have to give up.
I”d gotten used to not wanting things. I didn”t deserve anything this good. I didn”t deserve Quinn. I never should have touched her, but I couldn’t lie to her when she asked. I did want her, badly. Even when she gave me an out. I could have said no. No, I don”t want you to kiss me. I could have gotten up and slept on the couch, Quinn out of reach. A simple shake of my head and she would have stopped. I knew it, and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to turn her away.
As much as I should have, I couldn’t do it. I’d taken something that shouldn’t be mine, and now I was going to have to give her up. A flash of agony hit me, and I wondered where I was going to find the strength to let her go. It was one thing to imagine, but now that I knew the reality of Quinn, how was I going to walk away and pretend this was nothing?
I’d had sex before, good sex. But with Quinn— That had been something different. I’d never fit with a woman like I did with Quinn. One night wasn’t enough. Could never be enough. But it had to be. One night was all we could have.
I felt her head move, the shift of her shoulders, and knew she was awake. It was too soon. I wasn’t ready. As I registered that she was awake, I knew where I’d find the motivation to leave her. I wanted her safe more than anything else. More than I wanted her with me, I needed her to be safe. I couldn’t give her more, but I could give her that.
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to force my brain in line. It didn”t feel comfortable in my own head these days. I was used to being focused, everything moving on a single track. The job at hand was what mattered. That had been easier at the Manor, where the job was keeping Griffen”s family safe.
Nothing was more important than family. I’d lost my own long ago, but the Sinclairs and Griffen were my family now. For years, I’d been able to stay on that single track, doing what I had to do, getting the job done. And now here was Quinn, slicing me in half. Part of me focused on the mission. And the other part of me, the core of me, didn”t give a fuck about anything but the woman in my arms.
Opening my eyes, I lifted my hand from her shoulder, stroking it down the dark silk of her hair, drawing in the scent of her shampoo, savoring every sensation of holding her. Her toenails against my shin. The slight prickle of her unshaven legs. Puffs of her breath on my shoulder. The memory of her straddling my hips, rising over me, taking me inside her. My cock swelled, and I wanted.
With a wrench in my gut that felt like grief, I ignored my cock and turned my back on what I needed. The time for that had passed.
It had to have passed because if I gave in now—if I shifted her over my hips, touched her, found her wet, and slid deep inside—if I did it now, I”d never fucking stop. And that couldn’t be.
Even if it wasn’t for Griffen. I had nothing to bring to a woman like Quinn. The best I could do was keep safe the people who mattered. That was the only good I had to bring to the world, and it wasn’t enough to deserve Quinn.
I let out the breath I”d been holding and shifted slowly beneath Quinn”s body, not wanting to jolt her and risk hurting her ankle.
“Stay here,” I said. “I”m going to take a look around. Do you need to get to the bathroom right now?”
Her eyes sleepy and a little dazed, Quinn sat up, the sheet pooling around her waist, her sweet, beautiful breasts bare. That’s done, I reminded myself.
“Can you walk me to the bathroom after I get some clean clothes out of my pack? I’ll be quick. Then you can go scout around outside.” Her eyes flicked to the light leaking in around the blanket, and I knew she knew our time was up.
I nodded. Something in my gut told me I had to get outside. I didn”t like being blind to our surroundings now that the storm had moved on, but Quinn wasn’t mobile. I wouldn’t leave until she was settled.
Quinn slid to the edge of the bed and rustled around in her bag, grabbing a few things. Instead of helping her hop her way to the bathroom, I scooped her up, holding her against my chest, savoring how she felt in my arms.
The walk across the hall was too short. I set her down on her good foot in front of the sink and shut the door. By the time I was dressed in my winter gear, my boots laced, Quinn was calling my name from the bathroom door. I returned to find her hair neatly braided, her familiar fleece dwarfing most of her body over another pair of yoga pants and fluffy socks. Some men liked lacy lingerie, but I’d take this Quinn any day. Knowing what she hid under her practical clothes made my blood burn and my fingers itch to touch.
One taste and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I needed to focus, to get my head on straight. This wasn’t about sex, this was about keeping her alive. I gave in to the temptation to touch her, lifting her into my arms again for the short trip to the couch.
“I’ll make coffee when I get back,” I said, settling the wool blanket over her. The cabin was cool, verging on outright cold, but we weren’t adding wood to the almost dead fire. It was time to go, my nerves crawling up and down my spine, urging me to get outside, to check for tracks.
I opened the door of the cabin to see that Quinn had been right. The storm was gone, and the forest was a fairyland. Sunlight sparkled on the snowy ground. Icy leaves glittered against the vibrant blue sky. In the trees, I caught the rustle of squirrels and birds, the forest coming back to life as quickly as it always did once bad weather had passed.
The snow was unblemished but for the tiny tracks of small creatures, not even a deer print to mar the perfection of it all. I thought about crossing the clearing and checking the woods. The cabin first, I decided. The snow was almost two feet deep. A hell of a storm for this part of the country, especially these days.
The air was cold, the light breeze icy enough to bite, but the sky was clear, the sun strong. The snow might hang around for a few days, or it could start melting as soon as the sun had a chance to warm the air. Either way, it wasn’t going to melt in the next few hours. And now that the storm had abated, I had no doubt that Quinn’s attacker would be coming out of whatever hole he’d crawled into. The snow was deep but navigable. If he was going to come back, it would be today.
We needed to get moving.
I walked around the side of the cabin. Everything looked as it should. No tracks in the snow. Nothing disturbed in the woods. The window by the kitchen was the same. Through it, I saw Quinn on the couch reading her book, everything inside the cabin at peace. Maybe, a voice whispered in my head. Maybe. All was quiet. Maybe we could stay. Maybe?—
And then I saw them beneath the bedroom window. Not the tracks of squirrels and chipmunks. Human tracks. Boots. I moved closer, not wanting to disturb anything until I got a good look. Pulling out my phone, I took pictures, zooming in, getting as many angles as I could.
He’d come straight from the trees to stand in front of the window. Crouching, I looked closer and took another photograph. The boot tread wasn’t remarkable. It looked like that of a hundred other boots I”d seen. I stood just behind the tracks and found myself positioned perfectly to see through the narrow gap between the edge of the blanket I’d hung and the window frame.
My gut went tight. In the sliver of space between the blanket and the window, I had a perfect view of the bed. Had he stood here in the dead of night, watching us together? Had he seen her? The violation of it, the idea that he’d watched us?—
I didn”t care much for my own sake. It was Quinn. She would hate this. I knew it instinctively. She was so private, so independent and self-sufficient. The idea that this man who’d attacked her had watched us?—
I straightened away from the window. This wasn’t about how she felt. It was about getting Quinn to safety. This situation called for cold reason, logic, and all the skills I”d amassed over my long career. The man who’d made love to her in the dark of night had no place here.
Business, not pleasure, remember?
And by the way, that little voice in my head whispered, this is why you don”t fuck the client. Because it”s nearly impossible to keep her safe once she’s more than the job. Keeping Quinn safe is more important than fucking her. It’s more important than anything.
I did what I would have done if Quinn had been any other job. I tracked his footprints, seeing where he’d hiked in, leaving along the same path, his footprints in and out overlapping. He was long gone from the cabin.
That didn’t mean he hadn’t circled around to try to catch us on the trail back to the Manor.
As I made my way back to the cabin, I ran over strategies. Sit tight and wait for my team to get here, then bring Quinn back with the team to protect her? Call for a helicopter to get us down quickly, before her attacker had a chance to get settled in to ambush us? He wouldn’t expect us to be moving this early and we needed every advantage we could get.