Chapter 18
18
ADDISON
W alker sent me several pictures of Dakota skiing, and then one of her with her cousins. It was all of them in front of the bonfire, Dakota in the middle of the guys, and someone was holding it out to take a selfie. Everyone looked happy.
It was a great idea to remind Dakota of everything she'd gained and not just what she'd lost. She'd lost a mother but gained an entire family who loved and supported her.
Dakota was going to be okay.
Addison: It looks like you had fun.
Walker: The best. She was in a much better mood and went right to bed.
My phone buzzed with an incoming call.
"Hey," I answered, pleased he’d reached out to me.
"I'm sorry if we worried you." His voice was low, and the pitch made my body hum with desire.
"I felt better once I saw the pictures. Skiing was a great idea. "
"Dakota asked to hang out with her cousins, and they came through for us," Walker said as if he didn't quite believe it.
"That's what family does," I said softly.
"When I was younger, I didn't always believe that the Wildes would be there for me. I wasn't one of the brothers. I was just a cousin."
"I remember you feeling that way." Teen Walker had a chip on his shoulder, and the Wildes weren't successful in removing it. I felt like I smoothed the hard edges.
"They constantly reassured me in various ways that I was a part of their family. But I resisted."
"You wanted to hang onto the memory of your parents, and you felt like being part of this new family meant rejecting your old one."
Walker laughed. "How did I not see that back then?"
"I'm sure I didn't understand it until much later. Be patient with yourself. None of this is easy to navigate. And from what I'm seeing, you're doing a great job. You were there for Dakota and gave her what she needed."
"Is it bad that I need to hear you say that?" His tone was vulnerable.
"Eventually, you won't need confirmation. You'll just know it," I said with more confidence than I felt. Would Walker ever feel settled in his heart and soul? Or would he always be running from the love for him here in Telluride?
"Thank you, Addison. For being there for me. For us."
"I don't mind, and this isn't a job for me anymore, Walker. I care about you guys." It had to be said. This was outside the scope of my job. Walker and Addison had come to mean so much more.
"How did I get so lucky to meet you when I needed you the most?" Walker asked, and it felt like he was baring his soul to me .
My heart squeezed. "I think people come into your life for a reason. The Wildes. Dakota."
Walker had more than most. For me, it had only been him. That meant that if he walked out again, I'd have the most to lose. My family had always been there for me. But Walker was the magic that kept my heart buzzing with happiness.
"I need to be here for Dakota, but I want to see you too."
"You want me to stop by when I'm at the resort and say hi? We'll be doing a lot of preparation the next week for the charity event."
His voice lowered. "I want to see you in a more personal capacity."
"We'll have to see how things are with Dakota."
"Do you have plans for Christmas?"
My stomach fell slightly. I'd been hoping to spend some part of the weekend with Dakota and Walker, but I'd understand if they wanted to be with family. "After I distribute the gifts and donations to my foster kids, I spend it with my family."
"What does that entail? Distributing the gifts."
"Well, some families want to keep the presents a surprise so they can say they're from Santa, and others prefer that the kids know it comes from us."
"Is that something me and Dakota could help out with? Do you need someone to pack and deliver the boxes?"
"That would be great, actually." We had some volunteers, but I wouldn't mind spending that time with my favorite people.
"I think for the holiday itself, I should spend it with Dakota and my family.”
I tried not to think about what he'd just said. That I wasn't to be included in any way with their holiday. That hurt even if I understood the sentiment behind it. "Have her grandparents asked to visit?"
"I was thinking of offering to go there while she's off school. "
"Oh. I didn't realize you were planning to travel."
"I thought of it today. I haven't talked to her yet. But I'm sure her grandparents want to see her too."
I wondered if it was a good idea when she was just getting settled here, but it wasn't my place to offer advice. He had his therapists for that. A girlfriend was a different role than social worker, and I'd need to remember that. I wasn't even sure I was officially his girlfriend.
"What do you think?"
"You should do what feels right." Even if it sent me into a panic spiral. What if Dakota wanted to move home and be closer to her grandparents? She missed her friends and everything that reminded her of her mother. Walker would do whatever she needed him to do. I was positive about that. As he should. He wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just scared for what this meant for our relationship. It was so new and fragile. The trust wasn't there yet.
"I'll talk to Dakota about it tomorrow. The next week will be busy. I hope we can manage to get some time together."
"We'll make it work," I said with more confidence than I felt. The holidays were notoriously busy. I tended to get a few new cases during this time too. It was a hard time of year for everyone, emotionally and financially.
"I also promised my cousins I'd look into installing hot tubs at the cabins. I decided to start with mine first. If I mess something up, I can work out the kinks before I do the others."
"Where would it go?"
"On the back porch near the swing. I've seen it put there in other cabin rentals. It's a nice feature. It might not scream luxury, but it will give the guests an amazing view. Plus it's private here. It's not like the cabins are close to one another."
"That sounds really nice."
"I'd love to test it out. "
My body heated. I could imagine making love in the hot tub with snow falling to the ground.
"I'd need Dakota to spend the night at Scarlett's or a friend's house to do what I want to do in a hot tub."
The desire shot through my body, making me ache. I hated being apart from him. "Speaking of Dakota, is she making more friends?"
"She talks to Christopher at the resort. But I'm not sure about how it's going at school."
"She'll talk to you when she's ready."
He was quiet for a few seconds, and then Walker said, "Are you in bed?"
"Yeah, in my pajamas." I was an early-to-bed kind of person when I didn't have plans.
"You up for a little phone sex?"
I giggled. "Is that what they call it now?"
"I have no idea. The idea of the hot tub and getting you alone in it has me hot all over."
"Me too."
"I was hoping you'd slip your hand down your panties and touch yourself for me, since I can't be there with you. Would you be willing to do that for me, Addison?"
There was something about the tone in his voice; I couldn't say no. "If that's what you want."
"Are you touching yourself yet?"
I rushed to comply, spreading my legs and touching my clit.
"Avoid your clit for now, naughty girl."
I was breathless, my heart racing out of control. "How did you know I was touching my clit?"
"I know you. You're worked up too."
"Yes."
"You want me in bed with you, but you're going to have to imagine it's my fingers touching you. It's my tongue on your pussy. "
"Yes," I said as my head fell back on the pillow and my legs fell farther open.
"How does that feel?"
"So good."
"I'm right here with you." His voice washed over me, making my nipples hard points.
"Can you get naked for me, Addison?"
I hurried, desperate for a release and wishing he was in my bedroom. "I'm naked."
"Now touch your nipple with one hand and tease your entrance with the other."
As soon as I touched my nipple, it was like a lightning rod to my core. I couldn't stop the moan that slipped out.
"If I were there, I'd tease you until you couldn't take it anymore. I'd circle your clit, but I wouldn't enter you. Not yet. I'd use my tongue to build you up, until you were writhing with desire."
Sweat beaded on my forehead. I wanted more. I wanted pressure on my clit, a finger inside me.
"Now imagine my fingers are inside you."
My lips parted as my finger slipped inside.
"They're thick."
I closed my eyes, lost to the fantasy he was creating. I could imagine him placing one knee on the bed, then a second, flattening his body on the comforter between my legs, his strong arms wrapped around my thighs so that he could feast on me.
"Alternate your fingers inside and on your clit. You need more. You need my body covering you. My cock driving inside you."
I remembered what it felt like to have him on top of me, and that was all it took for my body to spasm and the orgasm to rush through me.
He bit back a groan. A few seconds later, he said, "I've never done anything like that before. "
I liked that I was the only one he'd shared this with. "Same."
"I like that it was with you."
If he couldn't be with me, he still wanted me to feel good. He wanted to take care of me.
"I'll let you get some sleep, and I have to clean up."
I bit my lip at the thought of his cum on his thighs and belly. I could imagine the saltiness on my tongue. I wished we could be together. But I wouldn't rush this. We both needed time.
"Good night, Walker."
"Night, Addison." We had to respect Dakota's feelings and not spend every minute together. It almost made everything more heightened.
I wanted to be with him.
O n Christmas Eve, Dakota and Walker met me at my office to help load my car with gifts and donations.
There were people who had lost more than her. Who didn't have the basic necessities. I hoped she saw that she wasn't the only one going through something big and scary.
We stopped at the first house, and I knocked on the door. Walker and Addison held the bags containing the gifts. This foster family had nine kids, ranging from eight to eighteen. The mother was a teacher, and the father some kind of software engineer. They did this because they loved helping others and always took in the older kids who were harder to place.
They were adopting each child one by one too, which warmed my heart. They didn't have a lot of money with that many kids, but they made it work.
Meghan opened the door. "Addison. The kids will be so excited you're here."
We spent a lot of time talking on the phone about how much she spent on groceries and how crazy her household was, but the love was always apparent with her. She hugged me. "Come in. Come in."
Walker and Addison set the bags in front of the tree, and the kids piled into the room, sitting on the floor and every available surface.
"Dakota, do you want to hand them out?"
"Sure." She reached into the bag and called out the name for the first present, then continued until they were gone. Then we watched while they opened the presents.
I knew that Meghan would buy her own presents for them on Christmas. But these were things they needed like clothes and books. She saved all year to buy the other things they wanted, like brand-name sneakers and electronics.
When the kids were busy with the presents, I handed Meghan a Christmas card. Inside was a gift card for a local big-box store where she could buy food, clothes, and any other items.
She covered my hand with hers. "I know what's in here, and you shouldn't spend so much."
"I don't have a family of my own. Let me do this."
Her eyes filled with tears. Then she nodded toward Dakota and Walker. "You will soon, won't you?"
"I don't know."
"They're here for you now and having a great time." Then she lowered her voice. "Didn't you date Walker in school?"
"Yeah, but Dakota just lost her mother. They're going through a lot."
She patted my hand. "And you'll be there for them."
"I will."
"You're a good woman. You deserve everything."
"Thank you, Meghan." We turned our attention to the kids. The youngest, Bennett, was playing with a new toy, and Dakota got on the floor to play with him .
"If you need a sitter, Dakota has been watching her little cousin, Joey. She adores kids."
Meghan waved a hand at the older kids. "We have plenty of built-in babysitters here."
Megan ran a smooth household. Everyone pitched in, whether it was helping a younger child with homework or cooking a meal. She wanted the kids to care about one another and to be independent.
Eventually, I gathered our things. "We'd better get to the next house. Have a good Christmas."
Meghan hugged me, and we said our goodbyes. On the way, Walker said, "You're close to your charges."
"Meghan's one of my favorites. She's a school teacher and doesn't have much, but she's opened her house to those kids, and now she's adopting them. She's a dream foster parent. We spend a lot of time talking on the phone about how she feeds all of them. She's always telling me how many cartons of eggs she's buying because they eat an incredible amount of food."
"Thank you for letting me come. It was fun to hand out presents. I felt like Santa," Dakota said from the back seat.
"You're welcome to work with my office on any of the charity drives we have going on. I'll let you know when the next one is."
"I'd like that."
I loved that Dakota wanted to be involved. It was good for her to see kids who didn't have any parents and were relying on the foster care system. And it was good for her to see that a foster parent can love a child just as much as a biological parent.
Hopefully, it would help her see things in a new way, and she'd be a more caring and empathetic person. Not that she wasn't already. But it was always good for kids to see the other side of things. Sometimes, they got caught up in how their lives weren't fair when, in reality, they had a life they could be grateful for .
We spent the evening playing Santa, and afterward, I dropped them off at my office so we could head home. I wished I could stay the night at Walker's house, but they needed to spend Christmas morning as a family of two.
I wished we could be together as a family, but we weren't there yet. For now, I had to be content with whatever time I could get.