Chapter 4
My cell was more of a medieval dungeon than a real jail cell.
I expected a rat to scamper across my toes at any moment.
It was cold, underground, the walls made of black stone, the floor a hard, unforgiving concrete.
Steel bars were my only view to the darkened corridor, home to a row of empty cells. I was alone down here.
My cell contained a toilet, a sink where I could wash my face and get a drink of water, and a cot with a blanket.
It had been tempting to hide under the blanket and cry myself to sleep but that had never helped me before.
Instead, I’d decided to work off some nervous energy.
I allowed myself a triumphant smile as I completed my hundredth push up.
Panting with exertion, I shifted to my back and started counting sit ups.
Anger pooled in my gut. Anger with them but with myself now too.
Why couldn’t I have kept my damn mouth shut?
‘You’re a wild card, Iona Murphy. You know that?
’ An old school teacher's words had echoed in my mind. I wondered what that wizened, old woman would think if she could see me now. ‘I said you were a wild card, Iona. Not stupid. What were you thinking?’ That’s what she’d say, and I didn’t have an answer for her.
I was scared, there was no point lying to myself about it.
By now, I had gotten the gist of what a mating ceremony was.
I figured it was like a wedding, just without the legality.
I reminded myself that legality didn’t mean anything here.
The rules in my world didn’t count. I had to play by their rules now if I wanted to get out of here.
I didn’t know how long I had been down here. There was no clock, no sunlight, but as the temperature dropped, I figured the day was drawing to a close.
So far, Kole’s orders had been followed.
No lunch. No dinner. I was hungry, but I’d been hungrier.
A pair of green eyes haunted me, emerald orbs set in a handsome face I wanted to beat the living crap out of for doing this to me.
I would find a way out of here. I hadn’t survived my rotten childhood and wrenched myself out of that hellish world just to be beaten by these lunatics.
I felt him before I saw him. That prickle over my skin that told me he was nearby. He appeared on the other side of the bars and stepped into my cell. I sat up as he sat on the bed, so far ignoring me. What was he playing at?
He reached into his pocket and produced a knife.
I swallowed. This wasn’t the first time I’d faced down a man with a knife.
I knew how to fight back, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could take him.
From his other pocket he produced an apple.
Wordless, he cut off a slice and held it out to me.
My mouth watered at the sight, the juice glistening in the dank light.
I reached out for it but he pulled away.
I frowned. He lifted it to my mouth. He wanted to feed me? Fuck, no.
I pulled away and sneered at him in disgust. He popped the slice into his own mouth and ate it, holding my gaze as he chewed.
He cut another slice. Again he offered it to me and again I refused to let him feed me.
He ate that slice too and so it went, until the apple was all gone.
With every slice my hatred for him grew and yet, he didn’t seem to be enjoying his torment of me.
He didn’t smile, there was no pleasure in his eyes from watching me suffer.
The apple finished, he stood and walked out, taking the knife and apple core with him.
Locking the cell gate, he paused before leaving. “My mother will be by in a while. She’ll answer any questions you have. If you harm her in any way, I will have you whipped and kept in this cell for a year.”
Wow. And who said romance was dead?
I had to wait until the next morning for his mother to show her face. I passed the night cold and hungry. But I’d been colder. Been hungrier too. My childhood had contained few comforts.
When my cell started to warm I knew the sun was rising outside. Soon after, Dinah arrived looking a lot less formal in jeans and a sweater.
“Good morning, Iona. How’re you feeling?”
I ignored her. How did she think I was feeling?
She had brought a chair with her and seated herself on the other side of the cell bars.
I sat up on my cot, leaning against the wall, my knees pulled to my chest to ease the hunger cramps in my stomach.
She folded her hands in her lap and I was surprised to see her broken fingers weren’t bandaged.
“Our healing is accelerated,” she said, answering my unspoken question. “My fingers are almost completely healed now.”
“That’s a pity,” I said, holding her gaze. I wanted her to feel my venom. She gave me the barest hint of a smile.
“You’re quite bloodthirsty for a human.”
“You don’t think humans are bloodthirsty?”
“I suppose it depends what you compare them to.” She studied me. I felt strange around this woman. I didn’t like her, or trust her, and yet, she felt familiar to me. “Do you enjoy violence?”
“Not particularly, but I understand the necessity of it. I’m not squeamish.”
“That’s good. Our way of life isn’t an easy one, especially for a human. It requires a strong stomach.”
I ignored her statement, wondering when she would get to the point. This was a woman who knew her worth and wouldn’t be rushed. When she was ready, she spoke again.
“My son sent me to speak with you, to answer your questions. I’m sure you must have a lot of them.”
“When do I eat?”
“That is up to you. When you’re ready to accept food from your mate's hand, you can eat.”
My fists clenched. Her sharp eyes noticed, missing nothing, but she didn’t mention it. “Why?”
“To help form the bond. If you were a wolf, none of this would be necessary. You would be compelled by the bond to complete the mating as soon as possible. As a human, the bond holds less power over you. For our kind, it is an all consuming need. For you, it’s a tingle, a slight awareness.
You feel it enough to know it exists, but not enough to be persuaded by it. ”
I wished I could deny I’d felt that awareness she spoke of, but I couldn’t. I hated Kole, but my skin came alive whenever he was near.
“For someone supposedly compelled by an all consuming need, Kole is remarkably cold.”
“Don’t mistake control for coldness. His wolf compels him every moment to complete the bond. He fights it for your sake. He doesn’t want to hurt you or force you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just kidnap me and throw me in jail? How romantic. Why won’t he let me go?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I gestured at the bars of my cell and she gave me a wry smile.
“Two main reasons. Do you know what happens to a wolf who can’t find their mate? Has anyone told you that yet?”
I shook my head. I wanted to tell her the truth, which was that I didn’t give a shit, but if I ever wanted to be free of these people, I needed to learn how they operated.
“For an average wolf, the compulsion to find a mate really kicks in at around twenty one, and thirty is considered old to discover your mate. The wolf is the driving force in a mate bond, connected to the moon and functioning purely on instinct. We are born in halves, you see. Our mate makes up our other half so we become complete when we complete the bond. Being without a mate is like dragging yourself around without legs. I vaguely remember my life before I met Jonah. The world was grey, my emotions dull, and then I met him and suddenly everything became vibrant.” She smiled, clearly lost in her happy memories, before bringing herself back to the shit hole I was currently residing in.
“If a wolf fails to find their mate, they become more and more restless. For the average wolf the decline takes decades. First, a slowly sinking depression. Then, they begin to lose control of their wolf, becoming violent and unpredictable, until finally they shed their skin permanently and the wolf takes over, turning completely wild. They never return to their skin form and are lost to the pack forever. It is a devastating loss. Luckily, it isn’t something that happens often. ”
She sat quietly, giving me time to let this information sink in. It was so surreal I was struggling to wrap my mind around it. Werewolves were real. I thought of the giant tan wolf. A creature of myth and legend. Monsters were real, and I was living in their world.
Focus, Iona.
“Why do you keep saying ‘for the average wolf?’” She’d said it twice now, her tone pointed each time.
“Because your mate is not average. Kole is an Alpha, so everything is exacerbated for him. His wolf is stronger, his compulsion fiercer. I know that you don’t like him, but the willpower it has taken for him to fight the urge to claim you so far, the pack is in awe of it.
To grant you two weeks to adjust when he has waited so long… ” She trailed off.
Did she seriously think he was doing me a favour? Was I supposed to be grateful?
“I know you didn’t ask for this but we can’t let you go.
If we do, I will lose my son. He doesn’t have decades like an average wolf.
Alphas begin the search for their mate at eighteen.
Many don’t make it to twenty five without one.
Their wolf will take over before then. Kole is almost twenty nine and every day he loses more and more of himself.
Every day I feel him slipping away from me. ”
I felt a twinge of empathy for her. I’d always had a weak spot for mothers that cared about their children.
“It is only his strength that has kept him together this far, but he is falling. He knows it, the pack knows it, and unfortunately, other packs know it too.”
“Other packs? There are more of you?”
“More than you can imagine. The closest are the Gulfs, the family whose land you were trying to get onto.”