Chapter 10 #2
“You think I do?” He glowered at me, stepping closer. His aura filled the entire room, consuming me, busting it at the seams, wanting to take up more space. “I have no idea what the fuck is happening. Nor do I want it.”
Ouch. Though I didn’t either. I didn’t want some bizarre link to this man.
“Me neither. I want my life back.”
“No, you don’t. This is no longer your world, is it?”
My breath hitched, my eyes widening.
“Can you read my thoughts?”
“No . . .” His lids lowered, shaking his head, moving closer.
“How is this possible? How are you here?”
Suddenly my surroundings shifted, and I found myself standing in the alley in the Savage Lands.
The smells of coffee, piss, body odor, and cheap perfume punched up my nose so strongly I had to fight not to gag.
I could see the sunshine beaming down through the awnings, warming my bare skin, and heard the people buzz and talk as they moved around us.
“How are we both here in your bathroom right now?” He held out his arms, making some people duck and get out of his way. A girl looked back to see who he was talking to, but her eyes never landed on me.
No one saw me. I was not here . . . But to Warwick and me, everything was real.
When I turned to peer at him again, we were back in my bathroom, his form stepping so close his clothes brushed my skin. I could feel the heat of him. A groan tried to climb out, but I gritted my teeth, shutting my eyes briefly at the sensation of his breath sliding down the back of my neck.
“Why?” My focus went on him through the mirror again.
“I don’t know that either . . . I just know from the moment you walked into the mess hall that morning in Halálház, you’ve screwed everything up.
Like a fucking succubus . . . pulling all my attention, demanding it, moving me around you like a planet.
” He wrapped his fingers around my throat, his bulk pushing into the back of mine, pinning me against the counter, the feel of him through his jeans pressing into me.
For a moment, we were back in the congested lane outside Miss Kitty’s, the cool breeze licking my skin and across my nipples.
People stared at him, giving him a wide berth.
To them, he held nothing but air, their heads shaking at the insane man as he gripped my throat harder, his other hand gliding across my stomach.
“This needs to end,” he growled into my ear, lighting every molecule in my body on fire. “I was content . . . I like death. Feeling nothing.”
“I don’t want this any more than you do,” I breathed, his touch and the wind speckling my skin with bumps.
Even when it seemed we were back in the bathroom, I could feel the cool outside air. It was as if we were in both places at once.
His fingers skated lower, skimming my newly waxed area. I huffed air through my nose, my hips automatically opening to him.
“Back to the clean, good girl . . . on the outside,” he rumbled in my ear, our eyes locking in the mirror.
“You can pretend all you want, princess. Play this part until the day you die, but I know better.” He yanked me firmer against him, his thumb pushing down on my throat. “You enjoy it dirty and rough.”
My nose flared, my lids lowering in a glower, but everything else betrayed me, wetness seeping from me, the frosty air of the outside gliding between my legs as figures moved around us.
A deep noise vibrated from his chest, his lip rising. “I want nothing to do with you, Kovacs. I gave you back. It was supposed to end there. Stop thinking of me and get me the fuck out of your head.”
“You first,” I snarled. We were back in my bathroom again.
His jaw twitched, his eyes burning as if they were true flames. For someone who liked death and feeling nothing, he felt like life itself. Vigorous. Raw. Fierce. A fire that raged inside me.
His hand inched lower, my back bowing, not caring if this was right or wrong, real or not . . . I just wanted it. I felt so alive, so vibrant I wanted to crack out of my skin.
“Fuck. Kovacs,” he said so low I barely heard him, his fingers slipping between my folds, sinking into me.
I gasped sharply, my head tipping back into his shoulder, my lids shutting as pleasure so intense it burned lashed at my bones like whips. “Oh, gods . . .”
“Edesem?” A tentative voice bolted my head up and my lids apart. I spotted Maja standing in the doorway, her eyes wandering around the room before landing on me.
Alone.
Chagrin burned my face, humiliation at not only being caught but for the person I was imagining touching me. A fae. Even worse, a half-breed.
“It’s not—” My hand dropped away.
“I-I’m sorry. I heard you talking . . . then moaning.
” A deep rose color flushed her cheeks, realizing what I was doing.
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” She backed out quickly, closing the door.
There were a few beats, but I heard her prancing outside the door.
“It’s just . . . Dr. Karl called up to your room asking where you were. ”
“I’ll be right there.” I scoured my face, trying to not only shove back the shame of being caught, but also the fact that I could still feel Warwick’s touch.
The warmth of the sun still baked into my skin, the cool air and harsh smell of the alley still lingering around me.
My imagination was not that good. I was logical, never one to color, write, or play pretend as a child.
I grew up participating in strategic games and logic-based scavenger hunts.
I didn’t get to practice piano as an art, but as a skill to have in my repertoire.
All things Istvan thought helped Caden and me be better game pieces for him to use.
I would never come up with something this crazy. So, if it was real . . . ? What did it mean? How was it possible?
“Brexley?” Maja tapped again.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming.” I yanked on my pants and tank and washed my face before rushing out, heading for Dr. Karl.
He would be able to tell if I’m human or not, right? The thought made me want to laugh. But after everything I had faced, the laugh became residue on my tongue.
I couldn’t be totally normal.
“Brexley!” Heading to Dr. Karl’s office, my name shrilled through the air in an excited shriek. “Oh. My. Gods!”
Twisting my head toward the voice, I saw my friend, Hanna, running for me.
She wore her training outfit of cargo pants and white tank, her blonde wavy hair up in a ponytail.
Her heart-shaped face was makeup-free and bursting with smiles.
She was a badass, you had to be in our mostly male world, but visually she and I were night and day.
Her body slammed into mine, almost knocking me on my ass. Her arms wrapped around me, a sob erupting from her chest. She was about my height, trim from combat, but had far more curves than I did. Especially now I’d grown so thin.
“I can’t believe you are alive,” Hanna croaked, hugging me tighter. “You’re here . . . you’re actually here!”
Squeezing her back, I felt my own eyes water up. As the only two girls left in our year, we had naturally grown closer, having each other’s backs. It wasn’t until now I realized how much I had missed her. I had been so consumed with Caden I didn’t appreciate my other friends as much.
“I missed you so much.” She struggled to swallow back her sobs.
“Me too.” I crushed her to me again before letting go, leaning back and looking at my friend.
“I can’t believe this.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes. “We all were sure you were dead. We had a funeral for both you and Aron.”
My head lowered, and I blinked away the surge of heartache and guilt.
“There are rumors you were in Halálház?” Her blue eyes widened.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Holy shit,” she gasped. “No one has ever made it out of there before. Is it as bad as everyone says?”
I couldn’t respond, my brain flashing with guttural screams, the sound of the whip cutting across skin, guts and blood soaking the dirt in the pit, the endless torture in the hole, the sharp smells of urine and blood.
“Hey?” Hanna touched my arm.
I forced a smile on my face. “I’m alive.”
“Is it true you saw Aron? He’s dead?”
My head snapped to the side, my chest filling with concrete.
“Oh.” She bobbed her head, understanding me without my having to say it.
A bell clanged in the distance, letting us know a new hour was upon us.
“Shit, I have to go.” She pulled me back into a quick hug. “Let’s hang out and catch up. Maybe leave the party early tomorrow.”
“Party?”
“Crap! Bakos is going to give me hell. I’ll probably be doing pushups for days.” She turned to leave. “When are you coming back to class? I so miss you . . . just isn’t the same without you.”
“I don’t know. Soon?” I replied, but no excitement danced in my stomach at the idea. I used to love training; it was my life. I was always the first one there and the last to leave, working harder than anyone.
“You better. I know you, of all people, wouldn’t want to miss what Bakos is teaching us now.” Her eyes glinted with excitement. “We are learning the best techniques to cut off a fae’s head to make sure those vile monsters are dead. Especially demons; they’re the same as cockroaches.”
Bile surged up my throat, ice flushing my heart.
“Probably more than ever, you want to destroy and rip apart every fae you see. I’m sure you’ll have so many stories to tell. You could probably teach us better than Bakos how to kill them. Am I right?”
The thought of a blue-haired demon filtered into my mind.
I saw Kek’s intimidating smile as she stood guarding me against the humans threatening my life.
A twisted old Druid who instantly took me in.
A quiet, tiny fae who stood up for me, taking my whipping to protect me.
Zander, Opie, Bitzy . . . Warwick and even Killian.
The fae had stood with me while my own people turned against me. How could I go back to thinking they were soulless and needed to be destroyed? Before, I hadn’t even thought about it, believing what I had been told, falling in like a mindless soldier.
My throat wouldn’t open enough to speak.
“See you later?” Hanna was already jogging to the stairs leading down to the training rooms.
“Yeah.” I bobbed my head, nothing else coming out, watching her disappear.
I moved forward, heading to the clinic, but I felt itchy and restless, as if this vast place was too small for me.
“Ah, Ms. Kovacs. Finally.” Dr. Karl motioned for me to follow him when I arrived.
“General Markos wants me to run every test we can. Not that I made a mistake last time.” He pushed his half-moon spectacles up his nose, indignant at the idea he might have failed.
“Sit.” He motioned to the examining table.
“I will make sure every test is done impeccably and we miss nothing.”
A handful of nurses joined us in the room, gloved and masked, twisting my stomach.
“Relax and lay back, Ms. Kovacs.” Karl scowled at me as he pulled up his mask; the nurses headed for me as if I were a specimen.
I was no longer a person to them.