Chapter 6
For several months, I’m stuck waiting. The Abr heats are full, and I’ve not hit a rut.
It’s been well over a year. I’m starting to wonder if my Shifter is broken over losing Jezza, Azrim, and Rhysan.
The silence without them around howls louder than any malfunctioning thruster engine I’ve ever dealt with.
Azrim hasn’t left his wolf form or come inside from the cold.
And since I’ve signed up for the race, I haven’t been able to summon my claws.
I’m so screwed up, I’m considering backing out.
I see my brother now and then on the perimeter of our land, lurking like a shadow with gold eyes between the trees. I wish he would come in and eat with me, talk by the fire like we used to.
At least he’s still out there.
I busy myself, fixing up our starship and reaching out to other lone wolves, hoping to build a pack of our own.
Most of them are like Azrim. They listen, then simply walk away.
I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t just hope the world falls apart so the pain will end.
I’m not ready to give up. I want us together. All of us.
I down another swig of beer and set the bottle aside before lying back on my rolling creeper and kicking myself under my Star Slasher.
I reach up inside the belly and grab the other end of the torque tube for the rear port side engine’s fifth drive cell, grab my wrench, and begin tightening it down. My ear com beeps.
My hands are tied up, so I stabilize the device with one, set the wrench down and tap the com button. It answers.
“Hello, I’m looking for Zorin.”
“That’s me.” I pick up my wrench again, reach up, and finish mating the torque tube to its drive cell. As I tighten the lock ring, she replies.
“Hi, Zorin, this is Mica from the Alien Bride Race.”
My heart skips a beat. Hope heats in my chest. “What can I do for you, Mica?”
“Well, it’s what I can do for you, sir. We have a slot available for you. You’re at the top of the waitlist.”
My hands pause. “A slot? When?”
“Well, that’s the thing, sir. It’s today.”
My Shifter stirs with surprising force. The wrench slips in my hand. I scramble to catch it before it hits me in the face. “Today?”
“Yes, sir. We had a last minute cancellation. Can you get here in time? We have all of your information, and your checkup came back clean. So all we need from you is to get to the males’ complex by noon. The males’ transport leaves for the race shortly after that. Is that possible?”
I frantically scan the systems under my ship to ensure I haven’t forgotten to fix anything. “Uh, yeah. I can do that. It might be tight. But I’ll make it.”
“Wonderful. I’m so relieved. It’s heartbreaking to pick a woman who’s ready to race and tell her she has to wait.”
“Of course.” I spin myself around on the floor and use my heels to shove me out from under my ship. “Anything else?”
“Not unless you have any questions, sir.”
“I’ve had plenty of time to study up on everything. I’m good.” Months of time is plenty long enough to read the entire packet until I have it memorized, research human females and everything they need, the situations they come from, and what they’re going to expect out of me.
“The Alien Bride Race would like to thank you, Zorin, for your participation, for helping give human females a better life, and for your membership as an ally of the federation. Good luck, and enjoy your race!”
“Thanks.”
“Take care, sir.” Mica ends the call.
I sit up, an odd breathlessness gripping me. My body thrums with fresh energy as I think of finally getting a chance to chase a female.
Shit, I have to get going!
I sling my tool carts away from the ship, set my creeper in a corner, and hike into our ship, where I illuminate the diagnostics screen. While the ship is running a self-check, I hustle down the ramp and back into the house.
My bags have been ready to go for months. I grab the pair inside my room at the foot of the bed and load them into my Star Slasher. Then I close up the house, switching everything off.
Hiking into the ship, I throw myself into the pilot’s seat and hover it up through the ceiling doors. The roof of my hangar seals up below me. I switch on scanners and find a heat signature out by a lake where Azrim and I used to fish together. I bank toward his position.
He’s curled up in the sun on his favorite casting rock.
I set down in a nearby meadow, lower the ramp, but leave the ship’s engines idling. Hustling outside, I walk toward him.
“Brother,” I call to him.
Azrim picks up his head. The ship’s engines tousle his dark fur.
“Abr called. I’m going to race. I will find us a mate, brother. I will make us whole again.”
He grumbles and looks away.
“Azrim.”
He gets up and snarls at me.
The urge to snap back rises in my throat. “Think of Rhysan. Do you really want the Morrawyn pack raising him?”
He looks down and away, then squirms like he’s in pain.
I sigh through my nose and roll my eyes. He’s always been short tempered, held grudges, and struggled to let go of pain and move on.
“Fine. Fuck! Brood, since that’s what you want to do. I am trying to do what I can! Please go home. Watch the house. And eat the food in the kitchen. I don’t want it to go bad while I’m gone.”
He tilts his head at me like he can’t believe I’d suggest such a thing.
“I don’t care about paws on the furniture. For fuck’s sake, brother. I care more about you being safe and us being a family again.” I’m tired of trying. It’s just that my morals and the situation won’t let go of my soul. Rhysan and Azrim’s cries after losing Jezza are still clawed into my heart.
He snorts and paws at the rock, scratching it for no other purpose I can see than to vent his anger.
I lift my hands, not understanding what his problem still is with me. “I get it. You don’t want to be comfortable. You think you deserve the pain. Whatever. But maybe for once, stop thinking about yourself for a change. Your son is being raised by another family. A gentle family!
“Rhysan will get too violent when he is older. They will kick him out when he is old enough to be on his own, just like they did to us. Except he will be confused about the truth, what’s really going on among the stars, and who we are,” I growl. “Think about that while I’m gone.”
There’s no point in waiting for him to reply. I don’t have time. I need to get to the races so I can find us a mate to heal what is broken. Part of me hates that I’m leaving him behind as I hover the ship up, and he sits there, watching me fly away from him.
But after years of doing everything together from caring for Jezza to fishing and then fighting on our Spec Ops squad, I feel like the only way to break him out of his Night Stalking is to show him what it feels like to really, truly be alone. It’s how I’ve felt for months.
A female is what we need. They are the glue that keeps our packs together. Without them, we would all become Night Stalkers.
A female can save us. I must find one who will accept a two-for-one deal with my ornery brother, one who is also willing to nurse a pup that isn’t her own, travel to a world where our pack is endangered and war is heavily present.
I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I know what I need.
I just hope she exists and that she’s at the Alien Bride Race.
My gut tells me she does and she is. My Shifter wants to go, but he may simply want to mate with anything female that doesn’t look at me with disgust or disdain.
I wouldn’t know. We’re both inexperienced.
But I’ve studied human females heavily while I waited. There’s just no more time for training.
I’ve got to take whoever is willing to endure our kind of life. And I will gladly give anything and everything to the female who does because she will be our world, our glue, and our hope.