Chapter 20 #2
I already hate their former leader. “Fuck that guy. If someone took Radar from me, I would probably put a bullet in them. If they hurt him, I would not hesitate to make it fatal.”
A grin toys with Zorin’s mouth. “So if we could’ve been together in another life, would you have considered being my mate and helping me put my family back together again?”
I’m not about to let him slip away from me.
Mindoran culture sucks, and it’s clear that the Aegeris brothers aren’t like the rest of their kind.
There isn’t enough Isonian blood in me, as weird as it is to think that, to have any concern of burning Zorin.
“In this life. No one else is the boss of me. And I want you. So here’s what I propose… ”
Zorin’s lips part like he isn’t familiar with breaking rules.
“I want you. I want to find a way to work this out. And I would rather wait until the end of time to be your mate than lose you forever when this week is over.”
Zorin rests his cheek to mine. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead.”
“What?”
“Dead serious.”
“Well, uh… Azrim might take a while to convince to come around. But I want to be sure you’re open to two of us.”
I lean closer, sweep my nose over his, and am about to kiss him, when someone coughs.
We look over to see Davarok sitting on the edge, his armored pants rolled up and bare feet in the pool.
He grimaces and points covertly to Marne and Kren by the gate. “They’re watching you.”
Zorin sighs. He sets me down and backs up. When he blinks, his eyes soften into humanoid irises again, and his claws retract until he looks like a marbled blue man standing in the pool with me. “This fucking sucks.”
I feel Zorin giving up hope and take his hand in the water. He looks up at me with caution.
“I’m with you. We just have to make it through this week. Then the next. And so on. But I’m open to your proposition.”
He nods and rubs his fingers over mine under the shield of the pool’s rippling surface. “Thank you.”
I close the distance between us and admire the way Zorin’s skin ripples and his breath comes faster. The simplest brush of my hips against his makes his whole body shudder. “Just because they said no mating doesn’t mean we can’t still want each other…and do other things.”
Zorin lifts his hands to my shoulders and gives them a gentle squeeze. “It does for me. If I let my Shifter have just a little too much control, he will take over. And I struggle to think straight when he has control.”
“So what you’re saying is that I just have to get him to take control?” I tease.
He grins. “As much as I want you, I do not want to risk your life.”
“I risked my life every day just to keep living until I met you. Since we met, all you’ve done is protect me.”
But Zorin still seems reluctant. And I hate it.
“Fine. You keep your lust to yourself. But until I have orders, I’m going to do what I want.” I lean in, take in his scent again, just because I know he’ll like that, then I back up and climb out of the pool.
Zorin follows me like a lost puppy. “Where are you going?”
“To get some food. We missed lunch.”
Zorin shifts onto all fours and shakes himself like Radar after a dip in the river, spraying me with mist.
I screech a laugh as the cool water coats me. “Zorin!”
Davarok chuckles and throws a towel at Zorin when he stands upright again. Zorin thanks him, dries off, and drops our damp towels into the laundry bin.
We walk back to my room where Zorin greets Radar and plays with him while I change in the bathroom. Marne, Kren, and Davarok post themselves outside.
When I’m dressed, I wait for Zorin at the door. He seems to have taken to my dog. Radar seems much happier with him, too.
Zorin holds the door for me as we head for the dining hall. He stays close, but speaks a lot less with the others around. I don’t get the sense anyone in his pack is against us being together, they just have their orders and are trying to follow them.
We pick a booth by an enormous tank filled with colorful tropical fish filled with blue light, corals in bright reds and oranges, and even an electric eel. We order food from the tablet at the table before Zorin reaches across and takes my hand in his.
“So tell me about your scavenger life.”
“Not much to tell.”
Our drinks arrive, and Zorin has a sampler set before him, while the server sets a hot vanilla cappuccino before me.
“Not going to get crazy?” he teases.
I rub my face, trying to awaken my mind from the memories that come back to me from Viriden’s testing pod. “I’ve had enough of crazy for today.”
“Understandable.” He reads the card and downs a shot of something. He grimaces, coughs, and sets the glass back. “Did not expect fruit to burn like that.”
I notice one that looks dark like chocolate, and it makes me wonder. “Can you even have that one?”
He grins and sets it before me. “Nope. It’s all yours.”
I smirk. “Trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”
Zorin’s brows pinch upward. “Do humans do that to each other?”
“Yeah. All the time.” I take the shot, sigh, and down it. The burn is softer, and the creamy chocolate flavor hits the spot. “Okay. That was good. But no more.”
Zorin grins. “I can’t have this one either.”
He sets another shot glass before me that has a decorative jalapeno over the rim, basking in bright red liquid.
I laugh. “Fuck no. I do not have a death wish.”
Zorin shrugs, eats the pepper, then throws back the liquid. “Ooh. Spicy.” He swallows hard. “So…scavenging?”
I sip my cappuccino and tell him about living in a tent with Radar, finding scraps, how I sold them, and how our life was about constantly moving from crash site to crash site, and about all the things we had to watch out for in the woods from scorpions crawling into your blankets to bears and ticks.
“Carielle wasn’t the only one thinking I was an easy take either. ”
“That bitch is gonna die.”
I laugh once. “Good luck. It’s like she’s immortal.”
Zorin looks around, spots Davarok behind him chewing on something that looks like meat, looks up at him with a playfully questioning eye, and turns back around. “What would you have done if you didn’t end up a scrapper?”
“If I could’ve finished school, I might have got on as a translator for distant alien species. But I barely got through cultural introduction classes and foundational words.”
Our food arrives. Zorin thanks the server and devours his appetizer platter like he’s starving.
I gape at him as I work on my club sandwich and soup. “Is…that how you usually eat?”
He pauses, looks down at his messy plate and curls a lip. “F…orry. U..fed to it. Mi-mi-tary.”
I hide my amusement behind a hand.
He chews, swallows, and wipes his mouth on a napkin. “Might also be because of what we are. When we pack hunt, alphas eat first. But we have to fend off the others. Haven’t done that in a long time. But it’s…different from upright eating. Sometimes, I forget my manners.”
He downs another shot, then a fair portion of water.
“Isn’t that a lot?” I ask.
Zorin shakes his head. “Barely buzzed.”
His eyes are a hint shinier, and by the way they linger on me, I’m certain he’s at least buzzed. Typical guy, pretending he’s not wasted when he is.
“So what made you join Abr?” he asks.
“Myndrous were chasing me.” I tell him about finding the escape pod and trying to get away from the beast. “They gave me a safe place to stay. So here we are.”
“You didn’t join to find a mate?”
I drum my fingers on my mug. “I had someone once. A soldier.”
Zorin’s mood cools. “What happened?”
“We’d been dating for about a year, even got engaged. He’d just left to report for duty when he was cut off by a aristocrat’s kid out for a joy ride in his father’s new luster cruiser. Never stopped or even knew what he’d done. Just sent the little transport smashing back into the ground.”
Even thinking about it now makes my stomach feel like it’s caving in. I’m sorry, Caden. I didn’t see them. I couldn’t warn you. It was so fast.
“So I understand your brother’s situation,” I solemnly add.
Zorin sits back and looks me over with sympathy.
I wave a hand, trying to swat away the memories that won’t stop torturing me.
“It doesn’t fucking matter. This universe is ruthless.
It has taken everything from me. Now I’m half Isonian, tainted by some species I’ve never heard of.
I can see masked soldiers. I make metal smoke.
And I can’t have the one good thing I’ve got in life beside my dog. ”
I study him for a long moment. “If they take my dog or they hurt you, I may just tell them to fucking come get me.”
“Nebs?”
My thoughts warm and slow down. “What more can they do? Physically cut out my heart?” I take in a deep breath. “At this point, it would almost be a favor.”
“That’s twisted.” Zorin scratches his chin.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I think you just need some sleep. I know you’re hurting. But don’t let that loss control you. Motivate you, yes. But if it grabs you, it will destroy you, and that’s just giving the enemy what they want. And they deserve to rot for what they’ve done to us. Don’t you agree?”
“It won’t heal the past.”
Zorin leans forward. “Nothing will. It’s better not to try and fix that. What can you do now to take back the power?”
“I just focus on today, then tomorrow. I don’t trust. I don’t get involved. I didn’t even want to come here. Desperation led me to you. And now we have to fight everyone just to be together.”
Zorin takes my hand. “Deep breath, Tessi. That’s the alcohol talking.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes with force. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset.”
“You shouldn’t have to be strong forever.” He gets up and draws me out of my seat and against his body. “Let’s call it a night.”
He doesn’t give me a choice as he picks me up, cradles me in his arms, and carries me out of the dining hall. I don’t care who watches or that Carielle says something as we pass.
Zorin guides my head to his chest and walks back to my room. Davarok opens the door, then turns to stand guard outside.
The TV switches on, and Zorin carries me to my bed, where he sits back, curls me up in his lap, and piles pillows around me. He turns on a channel that just plays rain sounds as Radar climbs up and tucks himself at my feet.
Zorin hugs me close. “Tell me how to make you more comfortable.”
“Just this. Just…stay.”
His hot breath warms the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I choke back a sob. “Caden said the same thing.”
Zorin rubs my shoulder. “All the more reason to take my offer. Azrim will come out of the shadows if I die. He will protect you, even if he puts up a fight now. He’s a good soldier with a very dedicated Shifter. He’s just hurting right now.”
“He will hurt forever, Zorin,” I say. “Sometimes, being alone is the only thing that makes sense because then we can’t lose anyone else we love.”
“I know. But deep down, I think you sense just how much all of our lost souls need each other. We don’t deserve this.”
I sniffle. “I felt that way in the beginning. Now I feel like wandering forever is safest because everyone I touch dies.”
Zorin guides my hair behind my shoulder and laughs softly, sadly. “Welcome to the life of a Federation soldier. It doesn’t get easier. You have been through a lot. You will endure more before the end. But know you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“Tessi, I know they banded you blue, but there is more hiding in you. You have to choose confidence and courage. You would if someone hurt Radar. You’ve said that.
You just have to show the universe who you really are.
Fight for what matters to you, and you will accomplish more than you ever dreamed. ”
I nestle between the hard planes of his chest and soak in the heat of his body beneath mine.
“Rest tonight,” he whispers in my ear. “Tomorrow, we’ll kick Carielle’s ass.”
I laugh softly, close my eyes, and savor the feeling of him with me, try to memorize it so even when he is taken, I will remember what this moment of peace felt like.