Chapter 26
Esrynne is a firecracker. She swears a lot.
After Zorin shifted and scraped my back when he dug his claws into the tree, she assigned herself as my protector. She cleaned and treated my cuts, cursing the whole time.
As I come to find out, she was abused as a young Shifter, used by other males and left for dead in the woods. Lunas can be vicious. But it explains why she hates the males of her kind so much. From what she says as she rambles, I can tell she only likes a few of the guys.
Marne she refers to as Mom. Davarok I know about. Ignus is always glued to tech and fairly quiet, but can fix nearly anything.
“Still haven’t quite figured him out,” she admits.
Rorsar is not to be trusted because he’s needle happy. Azrim is the brooding, cold shoulder type that likes to interrogate the enemy while they bleed out, then basically turns them to meat dust. Zorin is the only one besides Marne with whom she refers to with respect.
“Now, if any of those Lunas come up to you, you wanna zap the small motherfuckers that are mostly just yappers and no bite.” She lifts a pen-sized taser.
“But if you get a big furry fucker, stab them. Don’t ask if it’s okay.
Just fucking take this out of your boot.
” Esrynne shows me the metal device that springs open into a single claw.
“Females have the absolute right in MTF to cut a male if he is not her scent-bond but tries to take her, anyway. Use that right. You’re part of our culture now. ”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She bends over and clips both inside my boot as I get ready for the next day while Zorin waits outside. I work through some way to break the ice between her and Carnas. There’s obviously something there between them.
“Carnas is a good soldier. He’s nice, you know.”
“The Shredder?” Esrynne fixes the leg of my race suit with care, and I get the impression she’s not as violent on the inside as she parades.
“Yes. He has eyes on you.”
“Ha. The fuck he does. Probably counting the kills tattoed on my arms and wondering if I’d bite it off or claw it off.”
I frown. “He’s been gentle around me.”
“Because you are human, Tessi.” She motions me to the door. “Fragile.”
“Ouch, but still. He can be respectful.” I lift my hands. “That’s all I’m saying.”
She scowls at me. “Check you boot. Know the placement of your weapons by feel.”
I tap it and straighten. “He’s scarred because he defended his sister from being mated to an A-hole after her mate died and then helped her escape to their family pack. He broke tradition to protect her. Zorin told me at dinner last night.”
Esrynne gives me a terse nod and opens the door. “Fine. Great. The brute is all floof. I get it. Now go.”
I glower at her. “He gave up being with his sister to keep her safe.”
Esrynne’s shoulders slump. “For Thelisoria’s sake, Tessi. I got the message. Now, please… Zorin is waiting.”
Zorin was polite over dinner, and gave me a night to sleep alone with Radar. But I think it was more because Marne pressed him heavily to get a night of sleep himself.
Zorin is a rush I didn’t expect to find at Abr. He holds my hand everywhere we walk, kisses my temple before he leaves me…every time. And he shields me protectively with out a second of hesitation any time there’s a loud noise or a Luna Mindoran walks by.
Esrynne remains on patrol with Onidus, guarding me during the day, no matter what we’re doing.
During one of our breaks between activities, Zorin plays with Radar, shifting down into wolf form to chase balls I throw, and letting Radar capture a few even though he’s much smaller.
Zorin is bonding with him, and Radar with Zorin.
Radar jumps in his lap every time we return to my room.
And yet, Zorin sleeps on the sofa that’s too small for him and gives Radar and me the bed.
We haven’t managed to sneak in another private moment.
If Esrynne isn’t with us, trying to tuck a weapon of some kind inside my race suit, or Onidus with his persistent light, then Davarok and Kren are hovering close or Rorsar and Ignus.
Everywhere we go, we have a pack. And after years of being alone, it’s the best feeling in the world.
Radar has also started bonding with the Shifters not on duty with us. They tend to stay in my room and just hang out with him, amazed that Radar can be three years old and still in furry form.
After breakfast and conversations about less intelligent things Zorin did with Azrim when they were young, he kicks ass in laser tag.
He practically drags me through the grid of clear glass cubes that float up and down throughout the room.
We almost make it to the end and the prized week vacation on Pearl de Gaia.
But I get distracted by a crystal and end up winning a shopping spree on a spaceport market.
After lunch and the cooking classes that turn into more of an ingredient food fight than actual constructive lessons I really do want, Zorin takes me on his ship to the spaceport to pick up the formula I will need to care for Rhysan along with toys and other supplies.
It’s nice to have a day of peace without someone trying to hunt me down.
Friday is filled with kayaking the river, a picnic, and a cake fight, ending with a movie night and lying under the stars on the beach. It all moves too fast and reality creeps up on us again.
I lie back on Zorin’s chest, atop our beach towel. He’s not looking at the movie playing on the large screen by the river. He stares up at the stars overhead.
“What’s up?”
He adjusts his position and tucks a hand behind his head. “I’ve been in a suit out there in the void, shooting at Nebs and being shot at. I’m used to staring death in the face. But when your life was threatened, all of that confidence and numbness faded. I was so desperate and worried.”
“Now that you’ve had a chance to get to know me without your Shifter consuming you, do you still want me as a person? Or is it just…” I trail off when Zorin stops breathing.
“Tessi, I don’t think you understand how integrated we are. What my Shifter wants is what I want. He just takes it, reacts, lives on impulse and what he senses. But we are the same.”
“I know, but the scent-bond can make you want someone who’s deep down awful.”
“According to who?”
“Rorsar.”
Zorin wraps me up tightly in his arms. “Ah. Rorsar was scent-bonded to a Luna. She tried to kill him, our whole team actually.”
“What happened?”
His hands glide up and down my arms, and I sense his contentment through our touch. “She didn’t think the Nebulous Empire was a threat. She thought it was just Denarso. They were first to invade, first into war above our skies. She thought our mission was a joke.
“Her pack leader sent her to destroy us. A Neb soldier killed her as Rorsar was trying to stop her. So you’ll have to forgive his abrasiveness. He believes any rules we’re given are meant to prevent such things from happening again, and he’s right.”
“And you’re still here with me. Why?”
“Because I will follow you even if it is the death of me.”
“I would rather you live even if it means us being apart.”
His hands still. “Why would you say that?”
I twist to look up at him. “Rhysan needs you. He can’t get another Uncle Zorin. You can find another female. There are trillions of females in this galaxy.”
Zorin hugs me close like I’m going to be torn from his arms again.
“Just because we can find another female, doesn’t mean the first isn’t everything.
A scent-bond may mean we’re compatible and fated, but you are more than that to me.
You have healed so much already. You stay when most run.
You touch me like I’m not a disease, look at me with those beautiful eyes and that smile that gives me hope that the universe isn’t lost…
that there is still good among the stars. ”
“I don’t know about that. I just try to hang onto the things I have that I know I could lose. Right when I really needed a protector, you came to my rescue. I just want to be sure I’m what you want, since we’re voting tomorrow. I mean, I know it’s pointless because of the whole war situation…”
“Don’t say it means nothing. That’s not how I feel.
” Zorin clutches me tighter. “I know I’m probably the last one who should be the one loving you because I’m damaged inside.
My family is broken. I can’t be with you the way we’re meant to be because our love is forbidden by Mindoran and Isonian commands, and the Isonians don’t want you touched by anyone.
But please, don’t say we can’t hang onto this.
“I’m only voting for you. I only want you. Forever.”
I rest my head on his chest. “I’m just expecting this to be the end of the best days we have together with what’s going on.”
“Then we fight for more days like this, together.”
I curl up against him. “I hope it actually works this time. I’m so tired of fighting for a better life and always losing and then starting over.”
“Me too.” He rubs my back. “Let’s see what happens tomorrow.”
“I wish we could stay here, like this, forever.”
Zorin presses a kiss to my forehead. “Does that mean you’re voting for me?”
I smile to myself. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
He scoffs. “Tessi.”
I shift against the muscled planes of his chest and draw his lips to mine. “What do you think?”
He sleepily eyes me then kisses me again, rolls me onto my back and nibbles my throat. “What do you see in the sky?”
I look up at the stars and the shadow of a sleeping Earth. Zorin shields my body with his as he strokes my hair. “Most would say stars or hope or the vast emptiness.”
“What about you?”
I hold him close and imagine all the places my mother traveled, all the worlds I wanted to explore as linguistics major. “Possibilities for everything. We just have to head in the right direction.”
“And that’s why I love you.” Zorin’s body presses into mine, and I feel the full pressure of his erection between us. “That and how you care for Radar. I know you’ll handle Rhysan with love, but you won’t baby him.”
“I will at first,” I admit. “Can’t help but love puppies.”
He growls, grabs my hands and binds them in one of his above my head.
Zorin’s touch slides down my side until his hand wraps around my hip.
“Damn rules. If I had my way, I’d take you right here in front of everyone.
I want them all to know you are mine. And I will stand in the way of any one who threatens to take you or Radar from me. ”
“You’d protect him too?” I ask.
“He is your family. And I know he means a lot to you. I will guard anything that affects you, protect you from every angle I can.” He grazes his teeth over my shoulder. “I can’t lose you, Tessi. I think it might be the one thing that can actually destroy me.”