Chapter 28
I walk back to the rooms at the rear of our ship and find Tessi sitting in one, looking out a window. Her knees are tucked up to her chest. I lean against a cabinet and sigh. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
It takes her a moment. “Caden was just like you. Kind, sweet, protective, wild when he loved me.”
I clench my teeth to rein in my fury, hearing about another male touching her.
“He left. To protect me. And he died, not for any good reason. Just an accident that no one ever paid for with jail time. Your world sounds pretty fucked up. And I get that we can’t mate until I’m safe.
But I can’t help but feel like this is just that all over again.
I don’t believe you’ll return if you leave. ”
“You have that little faith in me?”
“It’s not you. It’s everything but you. That’s the point.” Tessi looks back at me as Esrynne tells me we’re dropping into the atmosphere.
Marne reports ships in distant orbit, but none where we’re entering.
“Pretty sure I’m the curse on the universe.” Tessi wipes her eyes. “You say you would fall apart if something happened to me. But if something happens to you, I’m afraid all this anger that’s been building is going to erupt, and I’m going to do something I’ll regret.”
I walk up to where she sits on a workbench and slowly wrap my hands around her.
Mindor’s atmosphere comes into view. Its bright blue light fills the room.
“I understand your fear. I don’t want to let you go, but it’s unreasonable to think that you going with me is a good idea.
We run infiltration missions. It’s why we need Azrim to punch in and snipe the biggest targets with me so the rest of the M-pack can wreck the ship. ”
“Why can’t Spike go?”
“He’s a Haunt, a covert recon soldier, and Carnas is trained for large scale combat.”
“Zorin, your mountain is in view,” Esrynne reports.
“Thank you.” I offer Tessi a hand. “We’re almost home. It’s time to grab our things.”
She takes my hand and lets me lead her out of the room and into the hallway where Radar sits, waiting for her.
Ignus and Esrynne set us down beside my house. My ship lands beside us along with Tessi’s new ship that gleams in the sun with fresh blue and gold paint unmarred by frequent travel through debris clouds.
“Wow, is that mine?” she asks as we exit down the lowering ramp. I haul her bags up while my crew carts out the supplies she’s bought to help her raise Rhysan, assuming we can get him back, and he doesn’t reject her.
Stars, so many things could go wrong with all of this. But I’m trying. I have to keep trying.
Onidus, Davarok, and Kren hike across my lawn to the M-pack’s ship.
Marne stands on the dropped ramp as Ignus starts up the engines again. “Stay in touch on coms. The moment you get Azrim on board, call me. And if you can’t in time, we’ll have to make do. I just don’t like it. Vrasler doesn’t either.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Marne grabs an overhead handle and sags like he’s tired. I know he is. But it’s more than physical exhaustion. It’s weariness over the situation that we’re in yet again. “Viriden wants a report tomorrow. I’m going to tell him everything. He always knows when I hold back.”
“But we’ll deal with it,” Spike says. “You focus on what you have to do.”
I nod.
Carnas stalks up the ramp and closes it. I watch the ship lift up and fly toward the base on the other side of the mountains.
Radar runs around the yard, sniffs something in the grass then rolls.
“Oh, Radar! Please tell me you didn’t just roll in poop!” Tessi takes off running after Radar, who gets up and bounds away from her in a playful spirit that makes me smile.
A least someone is happy.
I carry our things to the hangar door, scan my wristband and shove the door open with a boot. A comforting feeling washes over me, being in my own home again, with familiar smells. But there’s a particular one that’s been missing a long time.
My Shifter knows it’s him long before I see him. I walk into the main room and look into the kitchen.
Azrim leans against my island, in upright form, a half drank bottle of Harvest Moon on the counter. He doesn’t turn to look at me as he speaks. “Is that her?”
“Yes. Her name is…”
“Tessi. I know.”
“How?”
He hangs his head and swirls his glass, making the ice rattle. “You didn’t think I would avoid watching the race did you? I don’t hate you, brother.”
“Then why wouldn’t you open up to me? Have I not been there for you?”
Azrim turns around and faces me. He’s definitely drunk. “I hated myself for dragging her into our life, for breaking up our pack to be with hers. I know I abandoned you.”
Everything he’s saying is too much too fast.
“Azrim, you’re wasted.”
He moves to down the last of his glass. I stop his hand. He growls at me. “I do not want you to know my pain, brother, the emptiness… I left her here. She died because I was not here to break open the hatch and get her to safety.”
He wavers.
“We weren’t,” I correct him.
“You do not get to take this from me. It is my burden. Now Nebs invade the woods with their portals. They are looking for a female and a pup.”
Alarm grips me. That’s very specific. “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter!” Azrim’s hand tightens around the glass until it shatters.
A soft gasp makes us both look to see Tessi stop just inside the door and hold Radar back.
I hang my head. This is not how I wanted Tessi and Azrim to meet.
“Radar, no.” Tessi scrambles to hold Radar back, but he drags her across the floor as he strains to sniff Azrim.
Tessi releases his harness and backs up a step. “Please don’t hurt him.”
Azrim’s jaw muscles dance as he looks down at Radar.
“It’s a dog, from Earth,” I tell him.
“She has another mate?”
“No. Radar doesn’t shift. He’s like a pup forever.”
Tessi laughs sadly. “Well, ten or fifteen years. He’s three. But he won’t live as long as we can.”
Radar sniffs Azrim’s hand, the one that drips blood from the broken glass that’s crumbled to a pile on the floor. A single lick is all it takes to make Azrim back up and stagger out of the house.
“Stay here,” I tell Tessi. “He’s a bit intoxicated.”
“I can tell. I tended bar during college.”
I charge after Azrim and reach him just as he starts to shift under the fading sunlight. “Stop.”
He wrestles free of my grip.
“Would you just stop and talk to me for one fucking minute?” I snarl.
He huffs and stands upright again. “What?”
I scan the property for signs of Lunas and portals because I know his vision is swimming at best. “Tessi brought bottles to feed Rhysan. She’s from a rough life.
Give her a chance. And give us a chance.
Not to mention the Isonians are struggling to combat the Nebs.
They really need our team to infiltrate. ”
“I’m done with that life.” Azrim gazes off into the distance. “I don’t want anything anymore.”
“You think I didn’t feel like dying when my family got ripped apart? Not to mention you when all you did was try to protect her pack and love yours? They didn’t listen. They did this to her. You know who helped me see that? Tessi. Damn it, brother!”
I rub my pounding forehead. “All I wanted was my brother back. How have you not seen that for years? You forgot about me when you were with her. I get it. But we’re the last of our family. Without each other, we’re destined to die off.
“We protect this world, sometimes from itself. But I need you. You need Rhysan. We need Tessi for us to bring our family back to life. And just because you’re done, doesn’t mean life is or the universe is ready to let you quit.
So get your shit together! I don’t know where you’ve been camping out, but get your things and get your drunk ass back here, tomorrow! ”
He bares his teeth at me.
“You gonna fight me while you’re this wasted?” I challenge.
“Why can’t you let me just die in peace?”
“Because you won’t die in peace, you will die in sorrow and self-loathing.” I tilt my head. “M-pack needs their alpha. Pull yourself together, or I will hunt you down and straighten you out myself. I had just hoped not to be a bloodied mess for my new mate.”
He sniffs the air. “She is not yours yet. Why have you not claimed her?”
I brace my hands on my hips and look back at my house where Tessi now stands in the doorway. “I can’t until we know she is safe.”
He makes a strangled noise.
“Because she’s half Isonian, okay?”
“I know.”
“Of course, you do. She’s also Circidian-blessed or something, so we think that’s why the Nebs have been hunting her.”
Azrim’s eyes widen. He swears and runs a hand through his dark hair. “Circidian? This can’t be happening.”
“What?”
“I just killed six in the lower valley. You need to keep her inside, better yet at the base. At least their protocols will put her underground if there’s debris falling or an attack.”
“And what if I want to keep her out here? Would you protect her because she is mine?”
He inhales deeply.
“I protected Jezza when you weren’t around.”
Azrim turns toward the forest. “I need time.”
“We don’t have time.”
He tenses to snarl at me when Radar appears beside him, pawing at his leg. Azrim peers down at him. “What do you want, dog?”
Radar hops and lands in a playful down stance, panting. He bounds around like he wants Azrim to chase him. Radar finds a stick nearby, snatches it up in his mouth and takes off in circles around us.
“This animal is strange.” Azrim squints like he’s getting dizzy.
“No, he’s happy. Something you have forgotten how to be on your quest to destroy yourself out of guilt you shouldn’t carry.
Emptiness, yes. Pain, rage, and a desire for vengeance, yes.
But this creature is basically the embodiment of love.
And Tessi raised him. She is willing to raise your son, to bond with us both. ”
Azrim shakes his head, looks back at her, then walks away from me. “No.”
“Brother…”
He points back at me. “You want to raise my son, fine. But I am not going to dishonor Jezza with another mate. Tessi is not mine. She is yours.”
But even as he tells me he doesn’t want her, I see it in his eyes. He is agonizingly lonely. And the way he grinds a fist into his chest tells me his Shifter is not as repulsed as Azrim would have me think.
“Where did you watch Abr? It doesn’t look like you’ve been in the house long.”
“The bar in the tradetown.”
“Is that where you’ve been hanging out?”
“No.” Azrim watches Radar roll in the grass, body flopping all over. “I killed those from the portals, tried to check on Rhysan.”
“Why don’t you come inside, have dinner with us? Tell us about it?”
Azrim steals one more glance at Tessi. A long one. Then he turns away. “Do not let her go, brother. Do not let go.”
Radar’s tail wags slower as he watches Azrim sulk off into the woods and drop down onto all fours. Even Radar is sad watching Azrim leave.
Tessi walks up to me and hugs me from the side. “Is he going to be okay?”
I kiss her temple. “I don’t know. With him, he could go either way. He’s stubborn as a Luna, smart as an Isonian with a heart as big as a human’s but as dark as a Helsvian’s.
“Let’s just get inside and get some dinner going. I want to hold you by the fire tonight.”
“Does it get cold here at night?”
“Very.”
She smiles. “Can I sleep with your Shifter?”
I grin. “If that’s what you want. Just keep in mind he’s a lot harder to control.”