Chapter 33
I see him.
I see the man Zorin told me was in my dreams.
My body throbs with bruises, but it melts away when his presence enters my mind.
He doesn’t speak. I study him while he studies me.
His blue-black uniform and cloak are trimmed in gold, but not our kind of gold.
It moves like it’s alive, like it clings to him for life.
Even the fabric covering him waves the way it does in water.
I cannot sharpen much of the place we are in, but I gather enough glimpses to piece together a dark cathedral style hall with high ceilings and lots of windows. And that we are alone.
He presses a hand to his chest and releases a wave of iridescent light.
In my dream, I do the same, or I try to. I can never really tell if I do what I think I am.
An iridescent wave leaves my body. As it passes over him, I see his silhouette light up like a diamond in sunlight, casting prismatic beams into space.
A soft contact on my face tugs me back.
He tilts his head and motions for me to go.
I hope I will see him again.
My eyes are closed when the pain of my bruised body comes back to me. The world is dark, but I’m certain something touches my face. I just can’t get my arms to move.
Wake up, Tessi.
It takes enormous effort to crack open my eyelids. When I do, I don’t see the Shifter I expect.
Firelight reflects in Azrim’s eyes as he stares at the pup between us.
But the touch…the gentle sweeping motions over my forehead...
A fire crackles in the background. The air around me is warm like the furs that cover the pup and me. Radar is a loyal silhouette by my feet.
Azrim’s fingers guide hair out of my face. While my instinct is to pull back, I remember that Zorin had said he was good inside.
Those who attacked us are gone, and Azrim carried us to a cave. I remember now.
But when the pup stirs between us, I begin to wonder if Azrim is just pretending his life is whole again or if he really sees us. It was important to Zorin to bring us together, but that doesn’t mean Azrim is done mourning or healing.
He looks at me like I’ve hurt him and like I hold the answer to why the world is so cruel. Azrim tucks the furs around my shoulder, and the added warmth sends me back into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When I wake again, the first light of dusk touches the land through the cave’s opening.
I feel like I’ve been thrown off of cliff.
Every joint and muscle protests when I try to stretch and find a new position.
As I do, memories of our arrival in the cave and teaching Azrim to feed Rhysan come back to me.
Azrim’s fingers continue gliding over my cheek. “Tessi?”
Even his quiet voice is a deep growl that summons my gaze despite my wariness of his emotional state and his capability to shred so many enemies while I couldn’t even kill one.
“I cleaned your wounds,” he says.
“Thanks.”
He fumbles for a moment like he doesn’t now how to ask what’s on his mind.
I rub the pup’s head and check to ensure he’s still comfortable. “Not my first Myndrous encounter. But I guess you know that now.”
He props himself up on an elbow and leans closer. Azrim pulls the furs back and reveals the puppy’s back. Then he leans down and gives him a long, slow nuzzle and a kiss, rubbing his back.
There’s deep affection in his eyes as he looks down at the squirming pup. “How did you find Rhysan?”
Rhysan? His son? I’ve been snuggled up with Rhysan? “I got lost hunting for Radar, and he sort of stumbled down the riverbank into my path.”
Alarm fills Azrim’s voice. “He was alone in the woods?”
“No one answered when I called. I didn’t see anyone. I looked.”
Azrim shifts over Rhysan and sniffs my face.
For a moment, his eyes take on a predatory shape, and a soft rumble starts in his chest. He turns away, blinks slowly and pushes his Shifter back inside.
He has cuts on his face that are covered in dried blood.
Azrim cared for me but didn’t take the time to do so for himself.
The sight of them makes me sit up. “What happened to you?”
He bares his teeth and looks away like he doesn’t want to talk about it.
I spot a medical kit and open it.
“I’m fine.”
“Bullshit. You don’t care for yourself, and you’ll get an infection.”
“I…like…pain.”
Slumping, I consider tossing the items back into the kit. But Zorin wanted us to be a family, all of us. Azrim means everything to Zorin. And if I want my mate to be happy, I need to protect what he loves.
I ease out of the furs, crawl around Rhysan, and kneel beside Azrim, who’s still lying, curled up on Rhysan’s other side. “Tough shit.”
Azrim twists and gets onto his hands and knees, like I’m going to attack him.
“If you’re going into battle, I want you in top shape.
I did not leave my world behind, my life, everything familiar to come out here and lose you just because you weren’t operating at your full potential.
I know you’re Spec Ops Slayers for your MTF.
You are everything to Zorin. So I must care for you. ”
“This is normal.”
I sigh, soak a gauze pad with saline solution, and lean forward to clean a dirty cut in his forehead, just beneath his dark bangs.
He grabs my wrist.
I cock my head. “Azrim.”
He clenches his jaw and looks away. “Just let me sit up.”
I lean back as he gets himself upright. When he’s resting against the wall, I clean his cuts. We’re low on solution, so I can’t flush them like I’d prefer. Making physical contact with him heats the surface of my skin and feels far too intimate when I know he doesn’t want me to replace Jezza.
Azrim watches my every move like he doesn’t deserve the attention.
As I finish cleaning the dirt from his wounds, I search the kit for the good stuff. “Rorsar used special healing paste on Zorin. Do you have any?”
He finds the container and hands it to me without looking away. I spread it into his gashes with a finger, making sure I get every single one.
When I’m done with his face, I set the paste aside and wipe my hands on my pants. “Let’s see your back. I know you’re bleeding. It’s all over the furs.”
“Tessi…”
I motion for him to move, so I can check.
He curls a lip but does as I request. As he gets onto his knees and curls forward, I push up his tattered shirt, exposing the bulging contours of his back. He’s not quite as tall as Zorin, but his torso is far broader and stronger.
I reveal the claw marks that have been bleeding all day and swear. “Damn it, Azrim.”
“I’m fine.” He tries to pull his shirt back down, but it tears in half.
Rolling my eyes, I draw in a deep breath and control my urge to complain. That isn’t what he needs after he saved us and definitely not after what he’s been through.
I find a pair of scissors in his medical kit and cut the rest of the shirt free from him then toss it aside. Azrim is covered in scars like his brother. I clean the wounds as best I can and pack them with paste.
Every touch makes his body quiver, but I can’t tell if it’s from pain or something more. I need to set my palm on him to know for sure, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of contact. He might take it the wrong way.
“Tessi…” he rasps. “Why are you helping me?”
I press gauze over his deepest slices and begin taping it into place.
“I am just one of those people who sees someone in pain and compulsively tries to help. I have always had a strong sense of empathy. But as it turns out, that’s what my Isonian skill is.
I reveal truth. I see what most try to hide. That’s usually pain.
“I can transfer it too, like emotional telepathy, I guess. I think it’s why the Myndrous are after me.
They think I have some gift that can help them win the war.
It’s why Zorin and I can’t mate and why, I think, your mission is so important to him.
Stop the Nebs and free us from Viriden’s abstinence order.
It has something to do with Nebs hurting me worse if I were to get pregnant.
” I lean back, wondering if I’ve been too open with him.
Azrim twists his neck and looks up at me as I finish caring for his injuries.
When I’m done, he sits back, and I get my first full view of his sculpted, tattoed chest. On one side is a scraping paw with a cosmic background, like the Lunas’ mark but celestial, one I wager is the mark of Aegeris.
On his other pec is the MTF badge with a Slayer emblem.
But as far as I know, Zorin doesn’t have the same markings.
He smirks just a little, exposing his canines. “Zorin doesn’t like needles.”
“Ah. Well, he wants for us to be together…as a family.” I sit back.
“He’s told me many times.”
I pack up the medical kit. “I’m trying. But I need your help. I don’t really know what I’m doing out here.”
“Radar is skilled. You are doing fine.” Azrim looks down at his son still sleeping in the furs. “Take good care of him.”
I can already see it in his eyes, the desolation he feels and the forming plan to leave. “Azrim.”
“I will get you back with Zorin. That is the safest place for you both.”
I catch his wrist when he moves to get up.
He looks back at me. “I’m just going to scout before we leave. We need to find Zorin. I think I know where he’s gone.”
“Okay. I’ll get Rhysan bundled up and ready to move. Just promise me you won’t leave us.”
Azrim’s face sags.
“It means a lot to Zorin to have you back in his life. And that is important to me. Not to mention, your son needs you more than us.”
Azrim turns around and stalks into me, making me back pedal into the wall.
He bars me in with his arms and snarls as he scours my face.
His eyes shift and his teeth elongate. “Let’s get one thing straight.
I am not a good influence in your life or Rhysan’s.
You are safer without me. Do. Not. Push it. ”