Chapter 40
Viriden greets our crew as we descend Bloodmoon’s ramp into the hangar. With him are Tessi and my brother, who bring with them the aroma of a fresh bond. And I couldn’t be happier for both of them. He displays the slight shyness I never had as he steals another glance down at her.
They look happy.
Carnas carries Esrynne into Viriden’s ship, while I carry Rorsar. Corzin assists Spike. Marne helps Ignus, while Davarok and Kren support us where they can.
Isonian nurses guide hovering beds up to us, and we lay down our injured for them to cart off and care for. I thank them as I always do. Today they smile and thank us for our sacrifice.
Those of us still on our feet follow Viriden into a room filled with gold orbs, fine as mist over a warm lake in the morning. They coalesce into a map of the surrounding cosmos and the ships in the area.
“Your M-pack has been very effective,” Viriden says.
“While many of your pack has been lost, and there are a few members left in other packs, I would like to suggest a collective effort to officially work for each other, not your M-pack under my leadership. I have a ship I can dedicate to your crew, and you can have the two Nebulous ships you have taken. But we would like to help you separate from your world. It is clear the traditional packs are a threat to our allied ones. And we do not want to lose your infiltration skills.”
Viriden moves the ships into an arrangement that shows which one will be dedicated to us. “Azrim will command as he is your alpha and is best suited.”
“I am not certain I am, sir.”
“Statistics do not lie, Aegeris,” Onidus remarks as he paces behind Viriden. He has not bothered to clean the blood off of his uniform. I am starting to like him more than before.
“We’d like a trade,” Viriden offers. “Your infiltration skills for medicine and help transitioning into your own fleet to live above your world, free of Luna influence.”
Corzin lifts a hand. “I’m in. I don’t want my mate to have to stay on our world. I do not trust them with her, only our own M-pack.”
Everyone in the room turns to me: Zorin, Tessi, Corzin, Kren, Davarok, Onidus, Viriden, and all of their additional soldiers.
I have never had so much attention before.
It is the first time I feel like stepping backward and hiding in the shy manner of my brother.
But I know it is long past time I take on the roll I was born for.
Not the slaying role. I’m well-trained there. The leadership role.
If I want our lives to change, we can’t keep doing the same thing.
“I think we are ready. But it must be voluntary. And no Lunas get in.” I motion to Zorin. “Your thoughts, brother?”
“Agreed. However, I think we’ll need to make the move fast. Give them a wakeup call.”
I nod. “Then we make the move tonight, if possible. We’ll have to be prepared for attacks.
I’m certain, now, that Lunas know what we’re doing, and they’ve just been using us to protect them, pretending to be disbelievers of the Nebulous Empire, when really, they just don’t want to be the ones to fight and die. ”
A soft touch to my arm draws my attention to Tessi, who nods like she agrees.
Viriden highlights three ships inside the mothership floating in the gold holoschem. “I can send these, one to each base.”
“Thank you, sir,” I say.
Viriden looks over at me. “Thank you for saving her and for stopping the Nebs from seeing through our main advantage.
I can’t help but steal a glance at Zorin’s gorgeous mate. She is a fighter. Her scent is addicting, the kind that threatens my composure. I can bury my desire beneath the pain of losing Jezza, for now. But the way she draws me closer and stirs my Shifter, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to forever.
“I believe some of you have families to bring up here. So while you all go collect your pack, I’ll send the ships to collect what I can from the bases, and I’ll coordinate with your command staff. We’ve already discussed this idea. I just needed confirmation from you, Azrim.”
I nod. But I don’t see any point in returning. I have no ship and nothing but the armor and weapons our M-pack keeps on hand. I have never had stuff. Zorin and Tessi are the ones who must collect Rhysan. Not me. They don’t need me down there.
“See you all back here tomorrow.” Viriden closes the holoschem, making the gold lights in the room wink out, then he turns to his assistant and Onidus and leaves the room, making plans for the additional lifecount aboard their ships.
Carnas peeks inside and walks up to Zorin as I do. “I’m staying.”
Tessi briefly takes his hand. “I will come visit Esrynne as soon as we’re back with Rhysan. Can we bring you anything from Mindor?”
“No, thank you. I have recalled my personal ship. It will dock soon.” Carnas dips his head and walks off toward the infirmary.
“What’s up with him?” I ask.
“Scent-bonded to Esrynne.” Tessi waggles her brows. “Should’ve seen him when he found her. He didn’t know until he picked her up to carry her. Nearly shattered that beast. And I now know what that looks like.”
She slides an arm around Zorin’s waist, and hesitantly looks up at me. “You’re coming with us to get Rhysan, right?”
“Please, brother,” Zorin pulls Tessi close. “I want you with us.”
I sigh and motion for them to lead the way. Tessi and Zorin steal loving looks at one another as we walk the hallways back to the hangars. I am happy for them, but achingly jealous.
Jezza, love. Forgive me for envying them. You were taken too soon. Rhysan needs a mother who will love him. I know Tessi will do a good job.
Tessi hikes up the ramp and waves me onboard.
I am sorry. But I am weak. You are gone. And I am so broken and empty.
“We’re going to need a few upgrades, but Viriden gave us some weapons. Any chance you can outfit us while we head back?” Tessi asks me.
I nod and look over the crates in the back of the ship.
Zorin throws himself into the pilot’s seat while Tessi hangs back with me.
“Azrim.” Tessi closes the ramp.
“What can I do for you?” I ask as I flick open a claw and slice the seal on a crate of flares, then begin loading them into the defense system canisters.
“Your brother has told me many times, that he wants us to be a family and for you and me to…uh…” Tessi trails off when I look up at her.
She hangs onto a grab bar in the cargo area as the ship banks and heads for Mindor. “Look, I feel everything others feel when I touch them or, as it turns out, when they touch me.”
So she knows I want her, that I’m jealous of my brother. That I’m heartbroken.
“I know you hate yourself for wanting the pain to end because you feel like that pain is your way of honoring Jezza, by not letting go of her memory.”
Stars, she stabs me harder than a Myndrous on rageroids.
I drop the empty crate, not because I’m done with it, but because I can’t focus on anything except what Tessi has said.
She doesn’t come closer. Tessi gives me distance like she already understands me.
“He wants us together, you and me. And I love him. I want him to be happy. But I’m not going to push it with you.
So I am here for you and whatever you want or need from me.
I accept that there are sometimes two mates in Mindoran culture, but again. ..”
Radar comes up and sniffs me, then sniffs her. She pets him on the head and tells him to go to bed. Radar limps into the bedroom and curls up on the mattress.
“I’m aware we can want things but not go after them. Just don’t be a stranger. I will do my best with Rhysan. But he needs you. Not me. Formula and bottles solve one problem. But they can’t replace your love.”
I’ve seen the way she is with him. Rhysan needs her because she understands loss, emptiness, anger, and yet still became a good person, not letting those things consume her like I have.
She is too tempting. I need space to think and walk away from her before I do something I regret.
Radar picks his head up when I sit on the bed beside him. I pet him and admire the softness of his fur. “You’re a good boy, you know that?”
His tail thumps on the bed as he nudges my head with his.
It’s only a flash of an image, but it’s a perspective I didn’t see before. Radar remembers Tessi running to me. He saw the fear and determination in her eyes as she reached up and stopped the commander’s blade from piercing the top of my shoulder.
I blink and sit back. Radar pants in a half smile like it doesn’t bother him to remember such a moment. But I know now what I lost sight of. I risked my life to save hers, and Tessi returned the favor.
Zorin told me he wanted us to share her, to both protect her because he’s afraid he won’t be enough. But he is. And yet he has told Tessi the same.
I get up and peer out into the main cabin and see Tessi bandaging a cut on her arm in the medbay. I cross the hallway, glance out to see my brother notice me in the glass’ reflection and smile.
Tessi doesn’t see me enter. Her back is to me.
When her scent reaches me, my Shifter uncurls himself inside me, eager for a taste of hope. I reach around her and help her tape off the bandage.
“Thank you.”
She is gentle like my mate was, but carries a fiery streak in her that I only ever wished Jezza had.
I can’t fight the monster any longer and slide a warm, rough hand up her neck.
Her pulse increases as I tilt her chin and lean her back toward me.
I inhale a breath of her again, and instantly know we are compatible.
Her shock is expected when my lips sweep over hers. But the fresh scent of need that rises from her body is something I didn’t anticipate.
She wants me as much as I want her.
But I will not take her. She is Zorin’s.
I just want one taste.
I brush my mouth over hers, and she parts her lips like I expect. Dipping my tongue inside, I find the velvet of hers and give it a long lick as I kiss her upside down.
Tessi’s breathing quickens as I pull back.
“Thank you for saving my son’s life, my brother’s, and now mine.” I glide my thumb over her skin, addicted to the smoothness of her flesh and the way it changes to a redder hue as the musky scent of her need grows. “Rhysan needs you more than you know. We all do.”