Chapter 19
Sienna
On my way out of the library, I wade through meandering bodies—some making out, others groping each other as they walk.
You’d think that the staff would discourage people from hooking up all across campus when there are perfectly good beds on nearly every floor of the castle, but no, people openly engage in foreplay anywhere the mood strikes.
I mistakenly lock eyes with a woman clinging to her lover’s neck against a shelf, and she grins, clearly having the time of her life.
A pang of longing hits, and I quickly look away.
What I need is a cold bath. Ice cold. So cold that it makes Callum’s body feel warm in comparison.
A bead of sweat drips down my back, and I imagine his chilled touch soothing me—from the heat of my skin to the ache in my chest, his hands wandering from my lips to my chest, along the curve of my waist, over the swell of my hips, between my thighs to the scorching hot need desperate for relief—
Groaning, I run a hand through my sweat-damp hair. I need to lock myself in my room to entertain my fantasies without the risk of acting upon them. Then again, it’s only a matter of time before I am alone with him.
I bite my lip. If I asked him for a no-strings-attached orgasm, would he give it to me? A shiver rolls down my spine at the thought of his wicked tongue being put to better use than ever before—
As I’m passing a study room, someone reaches out and grabs my hand, yanks me inside, and slams the door shut. I jab my elbow into their neck, making them choke, but before I can strike again, they wrap their arms around me and hold me captive.
“Easy there, gorgeous, it’s just me.” Warm breath tickles my ear as Revyn buries his nose in my hair and groans. “Fuck, you smell even better up close.”
I let out a growled warning. “Get your hands off me!”
He tenses. “Not until you talk to me. You can’t keep sending that . . .” His voice hardens. “Undead bastard after me. I’m not a threat, Sienna, not to you.”
Holding my ground, I scoff. “Says the man who’s bitten me twice.”
He doesn’t deny it, nor would I let him. “You make it sound like a bad thing, baby.” His hands fall to my hips, and he whispers, “I remember someone enjoying it so much that she begged me not to stop.”
I laugh, the sound as bitter on my tongue as the stench in the air. My lip curls as the scent lingers, wafting off of him like perfume. “Gods, you reek, Revyn.”
His beard scratches my skin as he sighs into the curve of my neck. “Sorry. That’s not me. It’s the girls. They—”
The what?
Anger pulses through me, and I shove Revyn off.
My heart races as I spin around to face him, inhaling and deliberately scenting him.
There it is again, an acrid bitterness that makes me chafe on the inside.
“You’re letting girls touch you?” I knew that I’d seen him with two women a few days ago, but I was so angry with him that I brushed it off.
Scenting them up close brings all my inner demons out to play.
“I’ll kill them,” I snap, feeling my eyes flash as they shift. I scan Revyn’s body, unable to help myself, and step closer to inspect him fully. “Where did they touch you? Here?” I grab his jaw and lift onto my tiptoes to sniff his beard, but the scent is lower.
Did they touch his chest?
“Sienna,” he rasps, his throat bobbing as he swallows.
“Calm down.” But there’s a hint of a smile in his voice, and one glance at his face proves how much he’s enjoying this.
Rosy cheeks, blown pupils, oversensitive muscles twitching in anticipation of my touch.
He’s just as affected by the full moon as I am, except he no longer has any restraint when it comes to me.
I can’t be near him, or one of us will break.
Any intimacy between us will force someone to heel to the other’s desires, and I have a feeling that if push comes to shove, I could lose everything in the blink of an eye.
Not because he’ll force me into a mating bond, but because in the moment, I’ll want it.
The bittersweet relief of knowing that he’s mine . . . at too steep a cost.
I may not want anyone else to claim him, but I can’t justify bonding with him myself.
Jerking back, I press my body flat against the wall and put as much distance between us as possible.
Fleeing could trigger our innate wolf instincts and spell just as much disaster as staying here with him.
“Talk.” My heart rate accelerates at the perceived threat to my longtime partner, and I force down another growl. “Now, Revyn!”
His smile turns into a grin. “I like seeing you all worked up over me. It’s nice.”
Hearing his voice soothes a fraction of the ache inside my chest, and I take as calm of a breath as I can, careful not to scent those bitches again. “You need to start talking, or I’m leaving.” I grip the windowsill hard enough that it creaks. “We can’t be this close to each other, Revyn.”
Not without bad decisions screaming at me to take him back.
Sensing that I’m serious, he drags a hand through his tousled hair, pulling the thickest streak of silver off his forehead. “It’s a full moon tomorrow.”
“I’m aware.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Don’t get mad about what I’m about to suggest.”
“Then don’t suggest something stupid.”
Ignoring my barb, he leans back against the table and taps the edge with his fingertips. The steady drum of his nails—sharper than when I last saw them—fills the space between us. “I think we should complete our mating bond.”
Every nerve inside my body ignites, and I grit my teeth against the urge to submit. “No.”
Revyn scowls, his eyes darkening to pitch black. “This isn’t a game, Sienna. The other shifters inside this academy are looking for mates. They’re going to come after you.”
I scoff. “Scared of a little competition?”
His mouth presses into a thin line. “They’re going to come after you,” he emphasizes, repeating himself for my benefit. “This isn’t about competing for you. It’s about keeping you safe.”
I flinch. He doesn’t mean that they’re going to try and mate with me—he means that they’re going to try and kill me during tomorrow’s Mating Games.
“Students can’t kill each other,” I say, regurgitating the rule the professors love to say ad nauseam.
It’s Revyn’s turn to scoff. “You don’t truly believe that magic can overpower killing intent. Tell me that I taught you better than that.”
I purse my lips. He did.
“The professors say that the rules will hold.” Ancient magic pulses through the academy grounds, and if the rumors are true, Heartsflame’s very existence is tethered to that magic, including its rulebook. Breaking them won’t be easy.
“The professors can fuck themselves with their goddamn rules,” he snaps, the desk splintering in his hands. With a harsh growl, he unravels his death grip and holds his bleeding palms up. Wooden shards dig into his skin, the deepest cuts already dripping blood.
Cautiously, I step forward and pull one of his hands down to inspect.
Once the debris is removed, he should heal perfectly.
“I’ll be fine, Revyn,” I assure him, carefully plucking the wood from his hand.
“I’m not a lost wolf anymore. You don’t have to worry about me.
” I avoid the heat of his stare and focus on pulling out the splinters.
“I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me over the years. I wouldn’t have survived without you.”
He swallows, the sound settling in my gut like a stone.
“You can’t break up with me,” he murmurs, the smallest of his wounds already healing. “You are everything to me, Sienna.”
I pick up his other hand and start the process over again. “That’s just it, Revyn. I can’t be your everything.” Once his other hand heals, I curl his fingers into a gentle fist. “You need another reason to live. I won’t always be here.”
He inhales sharply. “You are not dying before me.”
Placing my hand on his chest, I feel the unsteady beat of his heart and search for his scent past the other women’s, eagerly drinking in the aroma of salted earth and summer sun that I fell in love with.
I commit it to memory for the thousandth time, letting it sink into my chest and fill the space in my heart that still belongs to Revyn.
“I will always love you,” I whisper, unable to look him in the eye.
“But we both know that love isn’t enough. I want a pack. I want a family.”
His voice wavers. “You are my family, baby.”
A sad smile touches my lips. Damn him for making me love him even more. “We can’t survive in the wilds.” It’s the simplest truth there is. We’ve both seen the carnage the rot has taken to the land—him more than me.
“I’ll go anywhere with you.” He cups my cheek and tilts my face up to his. “We don’t have to live in the wilds. There are communities that will take us in.”
“You know that isn’t true.”
“You don’t know that!” The silver of his eyes glows brighter, and he forces himself to take a deep breath.
“We haven’t seen them all, Sienna. There has to be a place out there that doesn’t care about pack status.
The Alphas don’t rule every corner of the fucking realm.
We can figure this out.” He leans into me and closes his eyes, whispering a final plea. “Don’t leave me again.”
My heart aches as I force myself to step away. There are too many unanswered questions when it comes to Revyn. Hidden truths that I can’t unbury on my own. If he wants me to stay, he needs to be honest with me.
Testing my theory, I broach a topic Revyn won’t want to discuss. “Why does Alistair Dire bother you so much?”
He visibly tenses, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “Don’t say his fucking name around me.”
“Why not?” I take another backstep toward the door. “Are you threatened by him?”
He chuffs but follows me, taking one step forward for each I take back. “The Dire pack is full of assholes.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”