Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
CAROLINA
I t was the perfect day between meals in the dining room, hot chocolate in the kitchen, playing in the snow, and now baking cookies. Marcus offered to watch Joey if Oliver needed to handle work, but he'd declined.
Joey helped Marcus make the dough, then they rolled it out on a sheet before cutting them out in various holiday shapes. Now we had several dozen cookies cooling. Joey was waiting impatiently so we could decorate.
Marcus set up the sprinkles and red, green, and white icing for the cookies. Holiday music played over his phone. He rubbed his hands together. "Are you ready for the best part of baking?"
"Sprinkles!" Joey exclaimed.
"We have to put something on the cookies first, so the sprinkles stick. Otherwise, they'll fall right off." Marcus sprinkled the green ones on a cookie and when he tilted it, they rained to the sheet. "Cover the cookie in icing, then add sprinkles."
Joey watched patiently while Marcus showed him how to do it. Then they got started with their tray. Oliver stood on the other side of the counter with me .
There were Santas, snowmen, ornaments, and snowflakes. He'd mentioned doing gingerbread cookies another day.
"Do you bake cookies with your family?" Oliver asked me as we got started.
I carefully iced a snowman. "I usually do it."
"You don't make a family day out of it?" Marcus asked.
"I've tried, but my mom and sister aren't as interested in making cookies. Just eating them."
Oliver chuckled. "That sounds like me."
"But you're decorating them now." My mom and sister had never participated in making or decorating cookies for the holidays.
"It's part of the experience, right? Joey loves this, and I love him." His words warmed my heart, and I followed his gaze to where Joey was pouring way too many tiny green tree sprinkles on his cookie.
"Save some for the rest of the cookies, bud," Marcus said with affection.
Joey nodded. "Right. Yeah."
Oliver and I exchanged an amused look. It was different doing these kinds of activities with a child. They got so much joy out of it. It wasn't a chore. It was fun.
Then I saw Oliver's Santa. You couldn't tell the shape of the cookie anymore. He'd smothered it in white icing. "What did you do to him?"
Oliver looked at the cookie. "This isn't my thing. Clearly."
"Do it like this." I picked up another cookie from his tray and carefully smoothed the icing on. "I can't do what Marcus is doing. But I can slap some icing on."
Marcus was using a piping tool to line the cookies. It was intricate and detailed. It looked great but outside of my skill set.
Oliver took a large bite of his Santa. Over his full mouth, he said, "All that matters is that it tastes good."
I made a face. "Isn't that too much icing? "
Oliver swallowed. "It was sweet."
I grabbed a glass of water and handed it to him. "Here. Drink this."
"You guys are slowpokes," Joey said from his perch on the stool. He'd managed to cover his tray of cookies with icing and sprinkles. It wasn't pretty.
"That looks great," Oliver managed to say with a straight face.
"Thanks," he said. Then his tongue stuck out while he iced a cookie on a new tray.
Oliver winked at me, and I laughed. This was nice. I enjoyed being here with him, Joey, and Marcus. I'd held on so tightly to my family, not letting myself get close to anyone else. I always thought my sister, mother, and I had a special bond. No one had ever been through what we had. But they'd moved on, and maybe I needed to as well.
I wasn't sure I could forgive my father. But I was starting to see that maybe I could move on and be happy. The only problem was that my life wasn't in Colorado.
Marcus lifted his piper and said to us, "If you want to go sledding again tonight, you'd better focus on decorating."
"We're working hard," Oliver said.
"More like hardly working," Marcus mumbled, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Oliver joined in, and Joey looked over at me. "What's so funny?"
"Marcus," Oliver said. "He's grumpy."
"Especially when you lick your fingers when you're baking," I said.
Marcus paused and put a hand on his hip. "You didn't lick your fingers, did you?"
Joey remained silent, but his guilty expression said it all.
"Go wash your hands again." Marcus waved him off, and Joey scrambled to comply. It was clear that Marcus ruled the kitchen, and if Joey wanted to participate, he needed to follow the rules. Then he focused on us. "Do I need to remind you not to lick your fingers?"
"Nope," I said as Oliver shook his head. "We're trustworthy and hardworking."
Marcus snorted, and we laughed again. It was the best afternoon I'd had in a long time. We decorated cookies until Joey tired out. Then Marcus shooed us out of the kitchen. He'd allowed me to take a platter of the cookies to the dining room with strict instructions not to eat them all. Oliver and Joey headed upstairs to change Joey’s clothes. He was covered in a light sheen of powder, probably sugar or flour, and sprinkles.
I placed the platter on the table, and Arthur's eyes lit up. He reached over to grab a Santa. "It's nice to see some of the decorations ended up on the cookies."
I sat next to him. "You should see the kitchen. Everything is covered."
"I bet," Arthur said as he bit into the cookie.
"How was your day?" I asked him.
He chewed, then swallowed. "I enjoyed reading while watching the snow come down. Most relaxing day I've had in a long time."
I sighed, watching the light wane outside, but the snow steadily coming down. "Me too."
"What about you? You have family to get home too?"
"Just my mom and sister, but this year they both have significant others so it might look different than it has in years past." I was pleased I was able to say that without feeling a pang of disappointment. Maybe I was moving past it.
"Nothing stays the same."
"No. I guess it doesn't." I'd strived to keep everything the same since that Thanksgiving when Dad left, but no one else appreciated it. Maybe it was time for me to make some changes. I loved my job, but I wanted something more. Someone to come home to. "I room with my sister, but she's moving in with her boyfriend. I wasn't sure what to do with the house, but now I think I'm going to sell it. See what the next chapter in my life brings."
"Good for you. Never too late to change course."
Would I rent or buy another house in Maine near my family? Or would I take the time to figure out what I wanted? I didn't have to decide right now.
Joey returned. "You want to go night sledding?"
I wasn't sure I wanted to go out in the cold again, especially not with the snow coming down hard.
Oliver followed at a slower pace. "You can't miss out on night sledding. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity."
"Yeah," Joey agreed. "Please?"
I laughed, catching Oliver's amused gaze over Joey's head. "How can I say no to that?"
"No one can say no to that face. That's the problem," Oliver grumbled as Joey ran off to see Marcus in the kitchen.
"What's so different about night sledding?" I asked him.
"We turn on the holiday lights on the lodge, and we have lights on the sled. It was his present last year."
"That's neat."
"Joey is spoiled with all of us buying for him. He has his aunt, uncles, cousins, and his grandparents."
"And you. Sounds like he's a lucky boy."
Arthur made a move to leave. "I'll let you get to your night sledding."
"Will you come down for dinner?" Oliver asked him.
"I don't think so."
"I'll send a tray up then."
"That sounds great. Thanks, Oliver."
I tried not to think too hard about the fact that I hadn't gotten Oliver out of my head all summer and fall. Now it was winter, and I was only falling harder for him. Every shared moment, every kind gesture, and I fell more. I didn't want to think about what would happen when the snow stopped.
After dinner, we got the sleds out, and sure enough, they lit up with LED lights the brothers had added to them. It was just the three of us. Marcus claimed he had more cookies to bake for guests that were coming in after Christmas. I think he wanted to leave us alone. I got the impression he sensed something was going on between us.
We certainly had a familiarity that we shouldn't have. I should have been more careful, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be relaxed around him and his son.
Music blared from a speaker on the back of the lodge. Joey was singing and dancing to a song while we carried the sleds up the hill. I couldn't believe I was out in this weather again. At home, I would have been tucked in my house, enjoying it from the warmth of my couch. But Joey forced us to get out and enjoy it, really live life.
He was a blessing. Oliver might not have liked the circumstances behind his birth, or his mother, but I could see what a great addition he was to the Wilde family, and I was positive Oliver wouldn't want to have it any other way, even if he wasn't fond of Joey's mother.
Oliver had a great family life here, and I wouldn't do anything to disrupt it. If he didn't want me to be part of it, I'd stick to our agreement and go home. But I wasn't sure I could continue to see him once every few months. My heart was involved now. I couldn't just pretend this was a fling. It had become so much more.
We sledded down the hill, dancing and singing to the music. I took a few videos of Oliver and Joey going down together on the same sled. And when they reached the bottom, Oliver grabbed my hand. "Come on. You're going down with me this time."
"I'll take video." Joey pulled off his glove, and I handed him my phone, showing him how to take video .
We walked up the hill, Oliver dragging the larger two-person sled behind him. "You know he just wants to play with your phone.
"I don't care. I took that video for him. I thought he would get a kick out of the lights."
"That's sweet of you to think about him."
"How can you not? He gets so much happiness out of everything. Did you see his face when he was sprinkling the cookies? Pure joy."
Oliver nodded. "He does have a lot of energy, and he sees things in ways that we don't. He keeps me young."
"It's been great spending time with you guys. I hope I haven't intruded on any time you wanted to have with him yourself."
We'd reached the top of the hill. Oliver turned so that he faced me. "We're always alone. Yeah, we have a big family, but at the end of the day, it's just him and me. It was nice spending today with you."
Joey waved at us. "I'm ready."
"I think we're being summoned."
"Let's go," Oliver got on the sled first, and I sat between his legs. He surrounded me with his warmth and asked into my ear. "You ready?"
I nodded, my heart in my throat because I was fairly sure I'd just lost mine to him and Joey. Would I always want what I couldn't have? The family? Oliver and Joey? A place here with the Wildes?
I was destined to travel around the country, helping other people organize conferences. I'd never be planning important events in my life. Only for other people. Before I could truly feel sorry for myself, Oliver pushed off, and we were flying down the mountain. Then we were airborne, and Oliver pressed his arm around my middle, holding me tight to him. I knew I wouldn't fall off. He would always catch me .
When we slid to a stop, Joey was waving the phone. "That was epic. You were so fast."
He showed us the video, and I sent them to Oliver's phone so he'd have these memories. Then we continued to ride down the hill until our feet were cold and our noses numb.
We kicked the snow off our boots and clothes before going inside to the changing area. Once our gear and snow pants were put away, Oliver said, "I'm going to send Joey up for a bath to warm him up. Do you want to do that movie fort thing you were talking about earlier?".
Joey's eyes widened. "Movie fort?"
I smiled, pleased Oliver had remembered my suggestion. "Yeah, it's where you make a blanket fort, then watch a holiday movie until you fall asleep."
"Can we do that?" Joey turned to Oliver.
"How often do we get snowed in? We should enjoy it," Oliver said with a smile, taking off Joey's hat and ruffling his damp hair.
Oliver tucked a keycard into my hand. "We're in a condo on the top floor. You have to use this keycard to get the elevator to take you to the floor. I'll send you the room number."
"Are you sure you're okay with me joining you guys?" I asked him, prepared to spend the night alone. I hadn't expected to get any more time with them. But I was surprised how much I wanted to be with them.
"I want one more night with you."
My forehead wrinkled. "It's not the same."
"It's different, but that's okay." Then Oliver kissed me softly before turning to leave. “You have time to take a bath too."
"That sounds wonderful." I headed to my room, my heart floating in my chest. I couldn't believe Oliver wanted me to join him and Joey tonight. Did that mean he wanted something more too? I had to keep my heart in check. Until he said something, I wouldn't assume anything. I'd been disappointed enough in this lifetime. The people I loved never did what I expected. I couldn't control other people. Now I wanted Oliver and Joey, and I wasn't sure I was going to get them.
Their lives were far more complicated than mine. I'd respect whatever Oliver decided. I took my time in the bath until I started getting images via text from Oliver, but I assumed it was Joey. Because they were all silly GIFs asking where I was. I dried off and dressed in sweats before slipping on cozy boots and heading upstairs to the penthouse level.
The keycard worked, and I was whisked to the mystery floor. I easily found the door number he'd texted, and knocked. My heart had picked up on the way here. Had he changed his mind? Would he think this was a mistake?
The door opened before I could turn back. It was Joey. "Miss Caro's here!"
"Not so loud. I'm right here," Oliver said from the kitchen where he was popping popcorn.
Joey grabbed my hand and dragged me into the living room. "We didn't start yet. Daddy said you were the fort expert."
"I used to build them for my sister." That was after Dad left and she was too scared to sleep at night, and Mom was crying herself to sleep in her room.
The condo was an open concept space with blown-up pictures of various snowboarders and skiers on the walls.
"Those are my brothers and my sister." He pointed each one out. "This is our family all together."
They were gathered around an outdoor tree that was decorated for Christmas. Everyone had a huge smile on their face.
"This is amazing. You should have these downstairs where everyone can see them. You could blow them up and put them in the great room."
"Yeah, maybe," Oliver said thoughtfully .
You couldn't tell who they were with helmets and goggles on, but with a little plaque they could indicate they were Wilde pictures. It would personalize them to the guests.
Joey had been going back and forth to the bedrooms bringing out blankets and pillows. Then he dumped them in front of us. "Now what?"
"We need to figure out where we can hang the blankets so that the fort has more height. And we want to be able see the TV."
Joey picked up a blanket and climbed onto the couch. When he rested the blanket on the back of the cushion it just fell limply.
I tapped my chin. "We need chairs."
"Oh. Good idea." Joey scrambled off the couch and ran toward the kitchen.
"You're going to help me put all of this back, right?" Oliver teased.
"Of course." I rushed to help Joey with the chairs, and Oliver grabbed chip clips to keep the blankets fixed to the back of the chairs. In no time, we had a tent made out of blankets, and then Joey began arranging the cushions from the couch and pillows on the floor. Lastly, he threw the blankets inside.
I clasped my hands together as I walked around it. "It's perfect. Now what kind of munchies do you have?"
Joey's eyes lit up.
"Is it okay if we have something to snack on?" I asked Oliver, wondering if I'd overstepped.
"I made popcorn and we have chips. I even snagged cookies."
"Perfect. Thanks for thinking of that." Warmth filled my chest as we continued to stare at each other.
When Joey walked back in with a bowl of popcorn and a bag of chips tucked under his arm, I rushed to help him. "Would you mind grabbing drinks?" I asked Oliver .
Oliver headed into the kitchen while I assisted Joey in the fort. He was cozy, leaning against a pillow with his bowl of popcorn and bag of chips.
Oliver handed over the water bottles, and I moved so that Joey was between us. When he climbed inside, he seemingly took up all the space. His masculine scent mingled with the scent of the buttery popcorn.
A sense of rightness washed over me. I hadn't planned on Joey, but he was a great addition to our little relationship.
How would I go back to Maine alone? A sharp pain shot through my chest.