Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Tim
WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously, what the fuck ?
I land in my room panting and slump against the door trying to catch my breath. My heart pounds wildly and my cock throbs like it’s going to punch through my jeans. Sweat rolls down my back while my whole body burns. Any thought of a drink to make this disaster of a night go down smoother is long gone from my mind. All I can think about right now is Keannen’s breath, Keannen’s words brushing hotly against my ear, Keannen’s aborted promises to do things to me I’ve fantasized about but never actually experienced.
I rush for the lotion in the bathroom.
It’s not good stuff, I’m probably giving myself a crazy rash or something, but no rash is scary enough to deter me from my path. My cock needs attention, and it’s not taking no for an answer.
If one thing is on my side tonight, it’s Cameron bouncing to see his boyfriend. Saying a silent prayer of thanks to my bandmate and his boyfriend and their continued obsession with each other, I shuck off my clothes and dive for the bed. I don’t need to pull up anything on my phone, not with Keannen’s voice still buzzing in my ear and his breath still ghosting across my skin. My ear and neck burn where he almost — almost — touched me, goosebumps marking the path of his wicked promises.
The second I touch myself, I make a sound pathetic enough to rival any of those whines I issued out there in the hallway. Being a twenty-five-year-old virgin will do that to a guy. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, it’s not even that I haven’t had opportunities, but after I left Keannen things got … confusing. I wasn’t sure who I was, much less what I wanted. My parents moved me around so much that I didn’t get a chance to settle into being myself until I joined The Ten Hours.
None of that shit matters right now. All that matters right now is how damn badly I needed Keannen to touch me out there in the hall.
The mere memory makes my cock twitch. I’ve barely touched myself, but that isn’t going to matter in about two more seconds. Keannen has no idea how close he pushed me to the edge. Or maybe he knows exactly how close. I wouldn’t put it past him. In fact, it seems like the precise type of torture he’d most revel in during the torment that will be this tour.
His voice rasps in my ear as I spill over my hand. I barely manage to catch it all before it makes a mess, and afterward I flop back on the bed with my own cum in my fist and lie there panting like Keannen really did stomp in here and fuck me senseless.
I groan at the thought. Not because I don’t like it. Rather, because I like it so much it makes my cock threaten to stir, and that’s a genuinely painful prospect after I just came so hard I saw stars.
It seems like ages before the heat finally recedes, leaving me shivering on the bed. I slouch to the bathroom and shamefully wash off my hand as coherent thought returns in a trickle, every realization more horrifying than the last.
I can’t be thinking about Keannen this way. He’s held onto a grudge all these years, clearly, and my attraction to him does nothing but give him another wound to stick his fingers in — and he is definitely going to stick his fingers in every sore spot he can find as some sort of retribution for what I did when we were seventeen.
The reality crashes in as the fever passes, and it leaves me shivering. As hot as things were out in the hall, Keannen’s motivations were ice cold. He probably has a ton of experience with guys by now. Toying with me must be so effortless for him. I’m sure he feels nothing, that it’s all just a game, one I have no hope of winning, especially after this. If anything could have made this tour worse, it was jerking off to thoughts of him.
If Keannen wasn’t in my head before, he certainly is after tonight.
WE GET BACK ON the bus in the morning. They cut us a break on this first stop, partially because of Cameron, but mostly because the schedule allowed for it. Now, we trundle south toward California, where the schedule will get a lot more grueling. Shows every night, and right back on the bus afterward to try to hit the next stop the next day. We’ll get a little break here and there, but won’t truly relax until Austin, where Julian is going to fly in to see Cameron again.
At least a schedule that demanding leaves me little time to think, and even less time to run into Keannen. I see him, of course. I can’t avoid him during this tour, but he’s as busy as me, and I suffer little worse than a knowing smirk in passing. It still scares me shitless. His expression screams, “I know you jerked off to thoughts of me that night in Portland,” but blessedly, Keannen never voices the accusation, and I escape California with some of my dignity intact.
It helps that every show after that first one goes better. Keannen’s presence doesn’t throw me off the way it did the first night, and I manage to put on a passable performance that doesn’t demand all of my bandmates’ help covering for my crappy drumming. I can almost believe I belong in The Ten Hours by the time we stop driving south and start driving east.
We’re on the road when our manager, Emmett, calls. Erin answers, setting the phone on the little fold out table in the van. We crowd around it, anxious for news. Part of me fears Emmett is about to tell us this whole thing has been a disaster and the rest of the tour is canceled. My playing has been too shitty. Baptism Emperor is upstaging us and management is done with us. They took a risk on this, and now they want to bail. I’ve ruined everything for my band because I’m distracted by the boy I kissed under the bleachers in high school and—
“It’s sold out,” Emmett says.
“What?” a chorus of voices responds.
“Every single date,” he says. “They’re all sold out. Every date in every city. We don’t have a single ticket left.”
“Holy shit,” Kelsey breathes.
“Is that … normal?” Erin says.
We may have accrued some fame in the past couple years, but we’re still basically those kids in Erin’s basement figuring this out as we go.
“Yes, for a band twice your size,” Emmett says. “For you? For this? Not so much.”
“So what does this mean?” Cameron says, cutting, as usual, straight to the heart of the matter.
Despite his cool tone, I can tell he’s as rattled as the rest of us. He’s hunching over the little table like if he gets closer to the phone this inexplicable news will make more sense. Our first tour went pretty well, but it didn’t go “sold out when we’ve barely started” well. This is definitely a different level, one none of us were apparently ready for.
“It means,” Emmett says, “more dates, more shows, maybe a longer tour.”
“No,” Erin cuts in immediately. “We aren’t doing a longer tour. We agreed to the six weeks. That’s what we’re doing.”
No one argues with her, and not just because she’s our leader. We’re musicians first and foremost. We haven’t lost sight of that, even during our rise, especially not Erin.
“But—”
“No,” Erin says. “I know what’s in the contract. There’s no extension. We need to get back to making this next album.”
“You can make an album on tour, you know. Do you understand the kind of money we’re looking at here?”
“We’ll earn it next time,” Erin says firmly. “The second album is getting done when we get back. We’re not budging on this, Emmett.”
There’s a beat of silence. None of us speak up to contradict Erin. We all agree with her that the music is the important thing here. Besides, I definitely don’t need to be stuck on this tour even longer with Keannen.
Eventually, a sigh fuzzes the connection with Emmett.
“Fine,” he says. “We’ll work in more shows without extending the tour. They’re going to be pissed. Do you understand how lucky you are to have a manager like me? Anyone else would be insisting on doubling this tour while it’s selling out.”
We do understand, actually. Not only has Emmett been cool about stuff like this, he’s also been cool about stuff like Cameron and his boyfriend. Cameron’s sexuality has never once been a concern or consideration, even as the media started scrutinizing all of us more closely. On the flip side, they haven’t forced Cameron to parade his boyfriend around, either. There are definitely some paparazzi pictures of the two of them, but management itself hasn’t interfered in the relationship. We’re lucky to be hitting our musical stride at a time like this when Cameron living authentically is a positive and not a dirty secret to hide from fans.
The second Erin hangs up, she fixes each of us with that look that has always meant “business time.”
“If any of you want the extension, speak up,” she says.
“Absolutely not,” Cameron says immediately. “Six weeks away is enough.”
“You did the right thing,” Kelsey says, patting Erin’s arm. She holds onto her arm a beat longer than strictly necessary, but Erin doesn’t shrug her off. Instead, she smiles.
“Thanks, guys,” Erin says. “I know we’ve got managers and stuff now, but I also know we all want to do this right, no matter what.”
We nod solemnly. We made that pact with each other before signing our first record deal. We swore we’d stick to our guns no matter where this wild ride takes us.
Tonight, it takes us to Austin, where we’ll play our next show. I nearly feel relieved when I get off the bus. We’ll get a short break here, so Cameron will be with Julian and we’ll all get a little time to breathe before being stuck on a bus again. Some day maybe we’ll be jetting to every tour date, but we’re not quite there yet, so for now, we’re stuck living life on the road. I’m not going to complain about a real bed instead of a bunk bed on a tour bus, though, that’s for sure.
Except when I slouch into the lobby with my duffel bag, Keannen is already there, like he got off his own tour bus and stood around waiting for me to arrive. Maybe he did. His band must have gotten the same call from Emmett, and it’s a way bigger deal for Baptism Emperor than for us. Maybe he’s been biding his time so he can gloat.
I grit my teeth. I’m seriously not in the mood for it tonight. The only thing I want is a shower, a meal and a bed. But when I get my room key from the desk and slouch toward the elevator bank, Keannen sidles up beside me wearing a grin that both turns my stomach and sends heat trickling into my belly.
This is going to be a long night.