41. Red
Chapter forty-one
Red
Samantha glares at me. “A knot? Really, Red?”
I smirk and shrug. “An omega has needs, you know.” More like the need to get out of here and enjoy my alpha in the privacy of our own home, but I’ll take what I can get for now.
She rubs her forehead and sighs. “Of all the—” I’m interested to hear exactly how she’d gonna curse me out, but she manages to choke off her sentence and collect herself. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”
I roll my eyes. Ugh, way to spoil the fun by changing the subject. “It’s worth a try.” I pop my chin on my hand and look out the window.
She holds up one finger. “But promise me no knots today. In fact, no coupling or groping at all!”
I chuckle sinisterly. I’m going to be seeing Rickon, so I don’t want to make any promises.
“No.” Samantha pops her fists on her hips. “I won’t approve Rickon’s visit if you don’t agree this time.”
“Fine,” I snap, unwilling to endanger time with my alpha. Rickon’s doing everything to get through the bureaucracy crap of police clearances and who knows what else they’re demanding, so I’d better do my part too.
Because I need to find my other alpha. Or alphas. The noise in my brain is becoming unbearable.
It’s so bad, I’m willing to attempt facing that putrid book of scents again. Only this time, I won’t do it alone. Can’t.
Samantha checks her phone. “Rickon’s arrived. Let’s go.”
Excitement and dread mingle together to form a gluggy soup in my belly that slops with every step. I squeal when I catch sight of Rickon walking down a hallway and run to greet him. True to his word, he’s radiant in a copper-and-white corset with orange eyeshadow.
He throws his arms out, the simple gesture warming my heart. Some days I have to pinch myself to believe this is real. One of the alpha hums in my head dissolves into calm.
It kinda gnaws at me that Callisto said he wanted something more yet I knocked him back. But I don’t truly regret it. I won’t have someone who’s not fully committed by my side. I’ve suffered too much to go through that.
“Mmm, hello, Biscuit. I missed you.” Rickon squeezes me tight and drops a blistering-hot kiss on my lips that melts me all the way to my knees. He gets a devilish glint in his eyes as he pulls back. “I’ve got some news for you. Guess who called me?”
I cock my head, confused for a moment, then the light dawns. My heart double-beats. “Mr Yun?”
He beams. “Yep. Want to guess who the female lead is for Omega’s Race ?”
I grip his collar, pulling him closer. “Me. It’s me, right?” I say breathlessly.
Rickon cups my face in both hands. “Yes, Red. He’s offered you the role. They’re drawing up the contract now.”
I scream and throw myself into his embrace, bouncing up and down in a frenzy. I really got a job as an actress. I’m going to be an Ommywood star.
Samantha clears her voice. “Congratulations, Red. And nice to see you again, Rickon. Let’s go in, shall we?” She balances a bucket in one hand as she opens a door off the hallway.
Rickon and I share a smirk as we break our kiss, snatching an extra peck to see us through the torture ahead. It appears the staff aren’t too keen on giving us time together after our little knot display. And Samantha doesn’t think I’ll keep my word this go around. Can’t really blame her, can I?
“I’ve got some more good news,” my alpha says, catching my gaze and then looking me over. “The guy who attacked us, my ex, they caught him. I’ve filed a restraining order, so even if he posts bail, he won’t be able to come anywhere near either of us.”
My gaze flits to his neck and a ball of worry I didn’t realize I was carrying unravels. His bruises have all healed up. “That’s fantastic news.” Rickon’s safe now.
He chuckles at my enthusiasm. “Yeah, I thought so too. Now let’s see if we can find you some more alphas.” Damn, he’s beautiful. Not a hint of jealousy over my determination to find the last one. I want to explain my desperation to him, but I can’t find the words. Not without mentioning the voices in my head.
We step inside and I sigh as the glass box that contains all the disgusting alpha scent samples looms up in the center of the room. Traces of the putrid concoctions of thousands of alphas leak through the glass. My stomach turns at the memory, and I groan.
Rickon takes my hand. “You sure you’ll be all right? Didn’t you say you couldn’t manage this last time?”
I nod. The Center wants to check if I have any more matches, and I’ll try anything with my alpha by my side. Especially if it means finding the one clamoring through my skull.
“Okay.” Samantha pops the bucket beside the stool. “So, I’m going to turn the pages, Red’s going to lean in for a sniff, and then the bucket’s here for any fall out.” She grimaces. “Can’t say I’m a big fan of this plan.”
“Says the woman who only has to turn the pages,” I mutter. I clench my hands a few times to ready myself and Rickon catches the movement.
He brushes his fingers lovingly across mine. “Do you really need to put yourself through this?” He eyes the glass box dubiously. “I want you to find all your alphas too, but this seems extreme.”
I shake my head and stride forward. Just like ripping a Band-Aid off. “I need to find them.” Because one of them lives in severe distress, and if I don’t find him, well, it could be too late. Don’t ask me how I know.
“First page,” I mutter and stick my nose through the hole. Fuck, it’s even worse than I remember. The scents burn through my nostrils like acid. But a handful of scents are stronger than others: bergamot, banana smoothie, fuel, charcoal, and dirt. Does dirt even have a distinct scent? Apparently so. But not as distinct as the hints of licorice somewhere in that damned box. That alone could be what made me vomit the first time.
I push away and gag but manage to clamp down on my queasy stomach. Rickon steps forward and I bury my face in his chest, using him as a human scent-neutralizer. His gentle, calming fusion clears away the horrors in my nose.
I nod and swivel back. “Okay, page two.”
Samantha nods and fits her hand inside the tubed glove to flip the page.
I have another motive to finish this. It’s one more box of approval I can tick off in this damn institute so I can be released. ’Cause Dr Woods isn’t convinced, and she gets the final say.
Again and again, I offer my nose for an alpha scent sacrifice. Blueberries mix with vodka, which mixes with barbecue, lemon, and wet dog hair. I know that scent because an omega who visited the Center recently brought her dog in from the rain.
Even with Rickon here, I can’t control the nausea. A dozen times my stomach rebels and I heave into the bucket, thankful I ate lightly today. My muscles ache from cramping and my nose stings until I get bouts of sneezing that bring on more vomiting. My body rejects this process so much.
Rickon grows more and more distressed. “Red, let’s find another way. Maybe if I like the scent you will too?” He rests his hands on my shoulders, rubbing gently. “If not, let’s try again another day.”
“And delay the torture?” I mutter darkly. “No thanks. All I need is encouragement.”
“But—” He stops and stiffens, his fingers digging into my collarbone. “Sure, if that’s what you want.” He’s oddly compliant, but I think that’s because he wants me out of here too. “You’re doing great. You’re halfway through now.”
I want to quit. I also want to come back to this another day, but instinct tells me I’ll never willingly return. Twice is enough.
Rickon holds my head to his chest, stroking my hair. “You got this, Red. Your alphas will appreciate your sacrifice, and it’ll be worth it to find them.”
I curl my hands through his belt as tears prickle behind my eyes. I won’t let him see my weakness, but his support means the world to me.
Samantha disappears and comes back with anti-nausea medication, plus some electrolytes, as I sniff and hurl my way through the omegas’ Book of Horrors.
My heart sinks as the beta nurse turns the final page and I pop my nose through the hole for the last time. I haven’t found a single scent match. How can this be?
I spin away into Rickon’s arms, clenching my teeth against the agony of despair. Where is he?
Tension runs through my alpha’s body. “That’s all of them?”
“Yes,” Samantha confirms. “Every alpha who’s sent a sample to an Omega Center branch is in that book.”
His arms tighten around me, shielding me from the brutal reality. “I’m so sorry, Biscuit.” He kisses my hair. “I know I’m not much, but I’ll do my best to make up for not having any more alphas.”
I shake my head. “You’re everything. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is it?”
I cling to him in silence, my gaze flicking across to Samantha. How do I explain that I can hear all of them in my head? I have at least one more alpha out there, and he needs me. But Rickon’s already accepted so much about me. I’m not a regular omega.
Pretty? Yes.
Sexual? Yes.
Normal? A whole universe of no.
How much will he really tolerate before he pushes me away? I can’t risk it. One alpha already rejected me.
But I still have to answer his question. “Just a gut feeling, really.” It’s lame, a cop-out, but I’m exhausted and my body aches.
And just like with everything else, Rickon accepts my answer. “Okay, Red. Do you want to shower and go to bed?”
“Yeah.” My ribs ache from vomiting and my throat’s raw. I’ve had enough of the hard way for a lifetime. I don’t think alphas are supposed to come into the living quarters at the Center, but I can barely stand on my own, so Samantha and Rickon hook me under the arms to steady me. We all stink of my rejected insides, making this situation far from sexy, but I’m grateful not to be doing it alone.
Rickon loads me into the en suite shower, clothes and all, and when I nearly slip over, he gets in as well. My clothes peel away piece by piece from my body to block up the drain, but we don’t care. My alpha smothers body wash onto the loofah and scrubs it in circles all over my back and shoulders before turning me around.
I can’t bear the sad worry in his tender gaze. “If you think I’m going to cry, you’re wrong.”
He pauses to tuck wet hair behind my ear, and then cups my chin. “I know you’re crying on the inside.”
Fuck, he’s right. Like the mascara trickling down his cheeks, I’m coming undone piece by piece. Why has nothing gone the way I expected? My alphas didn’t come. One rejected me, and I haven’t been able to find the other. I lean my head on Rickon’s chest, stealing strength from his warmth.
“What do we do now, Red?” he asks softly, massaging coconut-scented conditioner through my hair.
“You get me out of here, and I become a movie star.” One way or another, I’ll find them all. I have to.
I think I fall asleep on my feet, because the next thing I know, Rickon’s sitting me in bed and blow-drying my hair. His gentle lips press against my temple as he lays me down and tucks the comforter around me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, wincing as pain stabs through my brain. My alpha’s in danger and I can’t find him.
How do I rescue someone I can’t find?