Chapter 35
KYLIE
During the sunset, Kelsey and Sam had slipped away for privacy. This afforded Luc and me a few moments to ourselves.
Kelsey and I hadn’t confirmed whether anything had happened with Luc, and I assumed that was because she didn’t think Sam would be on board. But it was also possible that she had been too distracted in her life. God she was on top of the world.
Upon our return to Boston, would introducing him as my boyfriend be more readily accepted?
Did I care? Nope. The excitement and butterflies far outweighed any potential negatives.
Luc understood that this step was a commitment from me.
We might never have rings and a license, but that didn’t mean I valued our relationship any less without those things.
For the last several months, I worried about what other people would think of my relationship. I held back from introducing Luc to my family, my father, and I essentially lied to everyone. I was done with that—but I could continue pretending for the remainder of this trip.
“Do you need another drink?” Luc asked, watching for Sam and Kelsey’s return.
“Yes, please. Bushwhacker.”
Alone, I continued to watch the sunset as I sat on a stool on the deck, waiting for the rest of the party to return. Last night kept running through my mind. Luc loved me, and I loved him. Sounded simple.
No more bullshit. Admittedly, some of that bullshit was my fault.
Could I imagine a life without children?
The broken condom messed with my head. Add Luc and his calm, cool demeanor, and it got even worse.
Why was he so calm if he never wanted kids?
I mean, fuck, he had never once pushed me to get on a more effective birth control.
We needed to have a more serious discussion and I would be willing to try other more permanent options that limited our risk.
Reflecting, Kelsey’s emotional wedding made sense—Sam and Kelsey’s happiness was clear. My sister deserved it. Sam deserved it, too. Luc and I deserved to be happy, in whatever way we decided that looked like. And I had realized that I didn’t need the traditional trappings if I had him.
Did we still need to talk? Yes. Saying I love you didn’t erase the rest of our problems. But I felt better about where we were than I had in weeks.
Luc returned with our drinks, followed by Sam and Kelsey. I raised my eyebrows at my sister’s state. Her lipstick was all over her face—Sam was more than a bit flushed.
She blushed and winked before whispering, “Oh, come on. I’m married now.”
“Were you in the bathroom?”
Fuck, I’d been in that bathroom—it was a tiny little wooden shack.
“A girl never puts her knees on a dirty floor. I used the ground—like a goddamned lady.”
Laughing, I watched as Luc took his seat on the other side of Sam, and they started talking baseball. Spring training was around the corner, and they were amped up, but I could see the tension building with Kelsey.
“Are you planning to spend some more time in Colorado this winter?”
Crew’s father lived in Colorado where his NHL team was based. Kelsey and Tom had agreed that she would travel with Crew as often as possible to make the co-parenting work.
“Yeah, we’ll be back for a hot minute before we head there. I thought baseball season was tough, but Tom’s hockey season made it even more complicated.”
“I don’t know how you do it, but until I saw how well Tom blended in, I wasn’t sure it could work. You’re doing the best by Crew.”
Kelsey had been traveling with Crew to help Tom establish a relationship with his son. She and Sam had built a solid friendship with him, but the amount of travel they were doing wasn’t sustainable. They barely had time to relax in the off-season.
“I worry about what will happen when I get pregnant.”
“You guys are trying?” That was news to me. I remembered Kelsey mentioning that she wanted kids close in age, but had assumed that she would put that off until after she finished her degree.
She nodded, “We are. We discussed waiting, but once Sam retires, things won’t be so hectic, and I can go back to school then if that’s what I want.”
“You know how lucky you are? Not only do you both have Sam, a man who would move mountains to make you happy, but Crew also has Tom. There’s so much room for messy drama, but you guys did it right. So, you’ll do it with this baby, too.”
“You don’t think we’re crazy?”
“I know you’re crazy. I mean, who the hell could have predicted this?”
Kelsey lowered her voice, just in case the guys could hear. “Thanks for keeping whatever happened the other night on the down low. Sam probably wouldn’t take too well to his coach boning his sister-in-law.”
I swallowed back a quick retort.
“That’s not what happened.”
God, I wanted to tell my sister everything.
“It doesn’t matter. Two consenting adults, you can do whatever you want. Hell, I encouraged it. But no use putting him in the middle when it’s not going to be something that lasts more than one night.”
Nodding, I stared down at my beverage. Thinking back to the years of sexual escapades I’d bragged about to my sisters—all shared as armor.
Kelsey had no clue how much I struggled with sex.
Not that I couldn’t achieve an orgasm or that I had even wondered if I was asexual.
When I talked about my partners with her, I made it sound like I was this bastion of the sexual revolution.
Unapologetic.
Tonight, I felt ready to explode with where Luc and I finally were in our relationship, and my sister thought he was nothing more than a night of fun.
That wasn’t fair to Luc, because even though I still wasn’t happy with this prospect of impermanence, he had never made me feel that I was just a blip on his radar.
We finished our last drinks and then headed back to the villa. All four of us went to our separate rooms. Once the house quieted for the night, I heard my door open as Luc slipped into my bedroom.
“Hey.”
God, I loved his gravelly voice. I pulled back the covers and made room for him to join me in bed.
“Promise me you’ll sneak out before morning?”
Luc kissed the top of my head and pulled my body into his.
“Promise.”
I didn’t see him again until we left for the airport.