Chapter 42
LUC
Spring training was a welcome relief from the endless days and nights spent staring at the ocean. Typically, I would have found peace by the water, but it was a constant reminder of what I had given up.
At least once a day, I picked up the phone to text or call her. My morning run ended with my first phone being discarded in the ocean. The cost and hassle of replacing the phone had not dampened the automatic impulse to call her.
Had Kylie reached out to me? I wouldn’t know. I blocked her number. Again, I couldn’t trust myself not to respond.
With my brother in the lineup, we had a solid rotation of starting pitchers between veterans and up-and-coming young guys.
There had been some off-season drama, but Carlos had settled on a contract just in time for the call for pitchers and catchers.
As a hometown player, the organization had a leg up in the negotiations, and he wanted a guarantee they wouldn’t trade him.
By the time the first pre-season pitch got thrown, the guys looked great. The batters were slow to start, and the hitting coaches had been pulled in for extra training and meetings.
In my career, I had never seen a team as stacked with potential. If everyone stayed healthy and drama-free, we had a solid chance of winning it all.
When Kelsey visited Sam during training, I did a double-take. She and Kylie had such a striking resemblance to each other that, from behind, I thought it was my girl. Mine. Would I ever stop thinking of her as mine?
Who wouldn’t want a relationship like Sam and Kelsey had?
Me. Apparently, I didn’t want it because I’m the one who walked away from the one woman I could have had that with.
The more time I had by myself, the more I realized how stupid I had been. I hadn’t given Kylie the chance to make her own decisions, and maybe the insane hurt I felt seeing Sky luminous and very pregnant clouded the decision process.
Checking Kylie’s Instagram confirmed that she hadn’t posted anything since we had broken up.
With only a week before our home opener, I dreaded the return to Boston.
While Florida hadn’t provided relief, I knew that once we were back in town, I couldn’t avoid the ghosts of our relationship or the reality of my mistake.
“Dinner tonight, coach?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed with Sam. Of course, I planned to torment myself by having dinner with Kylie’s sister. “Jake is coming too.”
I returned to my hotel room, showered, and dressed for dinner. I picked up my phone, and even now, I expected to see her name in the text notifications.
Sam and Kelsey were already at dinner. Somehow, Crew’s father also happened to be in town with a game in Tampa Bay. It was rare that their schedules worked out, so the two of them were taking advantage of the night out.
“You sure you want us to interrupt your date night?” I asked as Kelsey stood to greet me.
Both sisters were gorgeous, with the same red hair and golden-brown eyes. But while there was a resemblance, I found plenty of differences. Kylie’s playful demeanor contrasted with Kelsey’s seriousness, though maybe that came from the time she had spent alone raising her son.
“Of course. I also invited Carlos and Avery to join us. And I’ve been dying to meet your brother, too.”
I was about to warn them that Jake was always late when he strolled into the restaurant on time. He did a quick double-take when he saw Kelsey and kept his mouth shut.
When Avery arrived, she and Kelsey had a side conversation, and I couldn’t help but listen in, desperate to hear any tidbit about Kylie I could.
“Any luck?” Avery asked.
“Not yet. But I don’t think the traveling and stress are helping. Hopefully, this month it works out, because we’ll be too close to spring training if it doesn’t.”
I noticed Sam as he took his wife’s hand and squeezed it.
“Are you trying for another baby?” I asked. This was not my business, but I couldn’t let it go.
Kelsey nodded. “And trying to time it so Sam will have some time with them before next season. I guess I assumed that it would happen right away. I’m just getting a little impatient.”
“My ex and I divorced because I couldn’t have kids,” I said. The attention of the rest of the table had shifted, and Kelsey and I continued to talk. Only a slight raise of his eyebrows confirmed that Jake had heard me. It felt good to say the words out loud.
“Oh, huh? I’m sorry.”
Kelsey searched my face for something before speaking again. “But I had wondered if it was you.”
“If what was me?”
She looked at Sam, confirming that he wasn’t listening, before she continued.
“I knew that Kylie and you had a moment the night of our wedding—I think I might have encouraged it,” she said with a wink. “So, in the back of my head, I wondered if you were the father of Kylie’s baby.”
Pain lanced through my chest. Kylie had moved on. Kelsey continued to speak, and I heard only every other word. The father wasn’t in the picture; that much I understood. Jake had stopped talking, and I felt his stare on me.
I shook my head, a gesture only Kelsey caught.
“I don’t get it,” Sam said. His grip had tightened on his silverware, and his jaw tightened. “If I had a kid out there, I would want to know. I’d be there.”
Fuck. I would have given up everything to have this with Kylie. I gave her up so she could have it, and now some dickhead got her pregnant and left her.
I barely recalled the rest of our meal. Jake attempted to follow me back to my hotel room, and I shook my head, shutting him out.
When I found out Sky was pregnant, it was a different ache, more so a confirmation that I was the issue. But Jesus. I felt my world closing in on me with the news about Kylie.
Could I do what Sam did? Could I raise another man’s child as my own? With Kylie? Fuck yes.
Jake: Are you sure it’s not yours?
Me: There’s no way.
Jake: You’re going to call her, yeah?
Me: What the fuck am I going to say?
Jake: Start by asking her how she’s doing.
It was too late to call tonight, and she had work early in the morning. Outside of her general Monday through Friday schedule, I was unsure what she did with her free time. Until I fucked everything up, I knew every single one of those details.