Chapter 9 #2
He fell silent the moment we got into the car. I sat in the passenger seat and watched him drive through the dark. Gone was the guy with the lingering looks who held my hand and whispered in my ear. That guy had been replaced by a man who drove silently without giving me a second look.
Which meant that all the flirting had been merely for show. I reminded myself of this and tried not to take it personally.
His voice broke through my thoughts. “I have to head out of town for work next week.”
I looked over at him, wondering if he would make a run for it. “Okay.”
“You can text.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be back right before our wedding.”
Our wedding. The word hung in the air between us.
“If you skip town, I’ll totally understand.”
His smile reached his eyes as he looked over at me. “I’m not a runner.”
“I’d forgive you.”
He pulled the car in front of the house and killed the engine. “I’ll walk you inside.”
The house felt silent and empty, and even though I’d never admit it, I was glad he was walking me back to the family’s private quarters.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and turned to him. “Have a safe trip.”
He smiled. “I’ll see you at the church.”
I had climbed two steps when he spoke from behind me.
“Starfish means that one partner doesn’t participate. They lie there like a starfish while their partner does all the work.”
I half turned to look at him. But all I could think of was lying stretched out on a bed and not moving while he did everything else. I could feel my face start to burn. “Oh, I see.”
I was too mortified to say anything else, so I turned back to the stairs to begin my ascent.
He spoke again, his voice low. “I happen to love tying my partners down in the starfish position.”
His words made me stumble. In my awkward attempt to recover, I staggered up two more steps, arms flailing for balance.
He moved with remarkable speed, appearing beside me and grabbing me even though I had already steadied myself.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
I tugged my hand from his. “You don’t have to flirt with me when no one is around.”
“I didn’t think I was.”
My cheeks burned. “Good night.”
I was aware that he had remained on that step and watched me climb up. When I got to the top, I turned around again.
He was still watching me.
“What’s the appeal?” The question came out of me before I could stop it.
“The appeal of what?”
“The starfish.”
He stared up at me, his intensity burning me in that moment. “The control.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but no words formed. Instead, I had a shocking visual of being tied to a bed while Axel did things to me. Spicy things. Would I like lying there like a starfish? My own question made me blush.
There was something deliberate in the way he held my gaze, unmoving, as if we were both thinking of the same scenario.
I had no words, so I turned and fled.
The afternoon skies were dark and threatening rain.
My bridesmaid and I had our hair and makeup done and were driven together to the church by one of my uncle’s men.
I didn’t really know Katrina. She was some distant cousin, but she seemed nice enough and was helpful in finding the room we were supposed to change in.
The room was at the back of the church, and it was freezing cold. Katrina helped button me into my mom’s wedding dress and put on my veil.
“Your makeup looks beautiful,” she said, studying me. “You’re gorgeous.”
I moved to the window. Outside, I could see a lineup of cars slowly moving to the front of the church. “Looks like the guests are arriving.”
“You have ten minutes, and then we will probably be starting.”
I studied my own reflection in the mirror.
My dark hair was pulled off my face but it cascaded down my back in curls.
I reminded myself of my mom’s wedding photos.
I felt torn between nostalgia over wearing my mom’s dress and grief over the fact that my parents were not here with me on my wedding day.
And then I felt a measure of guilt because I was using her dress to marry someone I didn’t love.
But this might be my one and only wedding.
And selfishly, I really wanted professional photos of myself as a bride, wearing my mom’s dress.
For the first time in a long time, I felt close to her.
The lineup of cars had ended, which meant that the guests had all arrived and were waiting.
Katrina slipped back into the room, this time with a bottle of vodka and a shot glass.
“What’s going on?”
“There’s been a slight delay,” she said in a cheerful voice. “So I thought this might warm us up.”
She poured a shot, but when I reached for it, she pulled it away. “No baby coming, right?”
“What?” I didn’t understand.
“You can’t drink if you’re pregnant.”
“I’m not,” I exclaimed.
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?”
“What’s going on out there?”
She handed me the shot. “Drink first.”
I tipped it back, and it burned my throat all the way down before creating a warm glow in my stomach. “Tell me.”
“Your groom is missing.” Her face was a mask of regret.
My heart skipped a beat. My first thought was that Axel had gotten cold feet.
That was immediately followed by a much darker thought.
He had been ‘taken care of’ by someone, either Sergei or my uncle.
The possibility was there, and I didn’t know how I felt about it.
“What do you mean when you say he’s missing? ”
“He’s late. No one can find him.”
“Did someone try calling him?”
“The men who work for your uncle are dealing with it.”
“Where is my uncle?”
“He’s not here either.”
I moved back to the window. The skies were now black, blocking out what was left of the afternoon light.
“Looks like rain.”
“Are you okay?”
The news that my uncle was also missing didn’t reassure me.
It meant that he was a part of whatever was delaying Axel.
Had Grisha somehow found out about our ruse and taken matters into his own hands?
I was aware that these were not normal thoughts a bride should be having, but I wasn’t wrong to consider them.
“How long do we wait?”
“I don’t know.” She moved toward me. “Do you want another shot of vodka?”
“Yeah.”
She set the bottle and the shot glass down on the table beside me. “Let me go see what is going on.”
“Thank you,” I said, still staring blankly out the window. Was this disappointment in my chest? Shouldn’t I be happy? Maybe Axel had decided to do the honorable thing and just disappear for my sake. But without him in the picture, I had to again worry about Sergei.
I checked my phone, but there was nothing. So I stood at the window and stared outside, watching as the weather grew more threatening by the minute.
If Axel had indeed decided to bolt, I could never blame him. It would definitely complicate my life, but ever since our engagement party, I had questioned repeatedly why he was even going through with all of it.
After what seemed an interminable amount of time, Katrina reappeared. “Are you ready?”
“For what?”
“For your wedding. Axel just showed up.”
A strange flutter hit my stomach. I hadn’t expected him to show. “Really?”
She smirked. “Don’t look so surprised. He’s getting changed.”
I had just spent the last hour convincing myself that he’d run. Now it no longer made sense that he’d shown up. I tried to recover. “What about my uncle? He was supposed to walk me down the aisle.”
“He’s here too. He’s also getting ready.”
I turned back to the mirror and touched up makeup that didn’t need fixing. Katrina fussed with my hair and then, finally, she handed me my bouquet.
Someone knocked on the door.
“That’s our cue.” She smiled at me. “Are you ready?”
No. I’m not ready. I had been ready for this charade right up until I thought he had left. When he came back, I became shockingly unready to marry him. How was this still happening?
My voice sounded faint. “I’m ready.”
She held open the door, and together we walked along the dimly lit hallway to the back of the church. There, in front of the open doors to the cathedral, stood my uncle, wearing a tuxedo.
His smile looked sincere when he saw me. “I think your dad would be proud of me. For how I raised you.”
I gave him a tight smile, which was all I could manage while I lied to him. “He’d be proud of you, uncle.”
He grabbed my hand and tucked it under his arm. “Shall we do this?”
I paused. “Can you answer one question for me before we go in there?”
“Tell me.”
“Did Axel need any coercion to come to the church today?”
He blinked, and then a big belly laugh poured out of him. “You were worried you had a runaway groom?”
“It crossed my mind.”
He patted my hand. “You worry too much.”
I didn’t understand what that meant. The ushers opened the doors to the cathedral, and everyone stood up when we appeared at the doors.
The walk to the front was long, but it got longer when I saw the state of Axel’s face.
The closer I got, the worse it looked. His lip was cut and swollen.
He had a bandage on his neck, and one eye was starting to blacken.
But it was the intensity with which he looked at me that made me almost afraid to take my place beside him.