Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MILA
I lay in bed holding the guard dog for three days straight. Every few hours someone came to let the dog out to exercise and eat, but they always brought him back, and he slept in my bed with me the rest of the time.
I think everyone thought that I was messed up over the shooting, and in some ways I was, but most of that seemed like a bad dream that I couldn’t remember. I was most cut up over losing Bandit.
I couldn’t stand the thought of him waiting at the shelter for me to show up, only to be taken, by someone he didn’t know, to a new place where I’d never find him. The grief and guilt nearly gutted me, rendering me unwilling and mostly unable to get out of bed.
Axel came into my room a few times, and I could tell he felt really bad about the situation, but he didn’t do much other than to bring me a drink or offer to take the dog down for a break.
Jordan showed up several times a day with small snacks, smoothies and gossip about the guards. Because he was trying so hard, I sat up and listened to him, trying my best to nibble on whatever he brought me, but nothing interested me.
Was Bandit safe? Was he scared? Was he hungry? Both Jordan and Axel tried to reassure me that he’d gone to a good home, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was not in a good place.
On the third day, Axel knocked on my door.
“Can I come in?”
I nodded and sat up.
He looked around the room and then sat at the foot of the bed. “Jordan said you showered.”
“Yeah.”
He cleared his throat and looked at me with regret. “I was thinking we could consider a different dog.”
I shook my head.
“I know someone who has some cute German shepherd puppies that are nine weeks old and ready to go to a new home. There is a boy puppy and a girl puppy available, and they’re really cute. We could get both.”
I loved dogs, and I was so tempted to bring a new little puppy into my life, but then I thought of Bandit out there somewhere, alone and feeling betrayed. I couldn’t stand the thought of actively replacing him.
“I want Bandit, or no dog.”
He looked nonplussed. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Thank you.” I held back my tears. “But you can’t, and that’s okay.”
He looked frustrated. “What can I do?”
“Is Anton okay?”
“He’s worried about you. So is Oleg.”
“I’ll be okay.”
But I didn’t know if I was saying that to make him feel better or if I really meant it.
On day four, I needed to get up and get back to school or I wouldn’t be able to pass the semester.
Tanya and Selena met with me at study hall with concerned looks on their faces.
“Sorry, but you look like shit,” Selena told me bluntly.
I wanted to tell them everything, but I would have to skip over so many details that I wasn’t sure my story would make sense. “I had a bad migraine.”
“Girl,” Tanya peered at me, “my dad used to get those. They are the worst.”
“I’m okay now.”
They caught me up on my notes and helped me with an assignment, and then I insisted on buying us all lunch while Oleg trailed closely behind, not even trying to blend in with the environment.
While we sat waiting for our food, Selena motioned to him. “You cool with the fact that some massive dude is following you around like a shadow?”
I grimaced. “He works for Axel. He’s my security.”
Both of them looked stunned. “Security? As in you have your own James Bond working for you?”
I shrugged, not wanting to get into it. I had fought over it with Axel this morning when he informed me that Oleg would sit outside all of my classrooms. “It was Axel’s idea.”
They both exchanged looks.
Selena looked amused. “We figured your situationship was loaded after the birthday event. But security? That’s next level.”
“Yeah. What are you doing here with us poor kids when you could have your own tutor?”
I looked around. This place was one of the only normal things in my life. “I love it here because you guys are here.”
Tanya snorted. “I’d better be a damn bridesmaid when this situationship gets legalized, because I just know your bridal party will be doing all sorts of cool shit.”
Selena laughed. “Me too. We could have one of those fancy spa days.”
They giggled, teasing. I still hadn’t told them I was already married. “There isn’t any wedding talk right now, but we could still do the spa day. I’m sure Axel would pay.”
Tanya’s eyes widened. “I have to get a babysitter. Give me lots of notice!”
“Let me know, and I’ll book something,” I promised.
A few days later, I was sitting in the living room on the couch, looking outside at strong winds and October rain coming down in sheets.
I had finished my math homework with Oleg already, and I’d sent Jordan home after he put a casserole in the fridge because I was worried about him driving in the storm.
Was Bandit out in the rain? Was his owner walking him in this bad weather?
Had he gotten Bandit a raincoat? I had bought Bandit a red, hooded raincoat for exactly these kinds of nights.
It felt like if I got rid of his stuff, I was giving up on him.
But it made me sad each time I saw his box of toys, or his little sweaters and coats stacked in my room.
Axel appeared behind me in the reflection of the glass.
“How’s it going with Oleg at school?”
I didn’t turn around. “Fine.”
“Are you caught up with your classes?”
“Yeah.” I turned around and looked at him. He was wearing a beautiful suit and holding an elegant coat on one arm. “Are you going out?”
He thought about his answer for a moment, almost hesitant to respond. “It’s a boring dinner with clients, but it’s at Joule, which is a really nice French restaurant. I don’t have to leave for an hour yet. Are you interested in joining me?”
The last time I’d gone out with him, he had ordered me to attend. Tonight he was asking if that was something I wanted.
I didn’t have it in me to get dressed up, go outside in the rain and fake small talk with a bunch of men I didn’t know. “Not tonight.”
An expression passed his face so quickly I almost missed it, but it looked like sadness. Not anger or frustration, just a small resignation.
That shocked me.
“Did Jordan leave you something to eat?”
“There’s a casserole in the fridge for me to heat up.”
“Do you want me to cancel dinner? I’m worried about you being alone.”
I stared at my husband and, for a moment, wanted nothing more than to curl up with him. But I knew that wasn’t what he wanted and he would only be doing it out of guilt.
“You don’t have to.”
“What can I do?”
I remembered my conversation with my friends. “Would I be able to take Selena and Tanya to a fancy spa day?”
He looked relieved. “I’ll rent the whole damn place out for you if you want.”
I gave him a ghost of a smile. “Thanks, but just a normal trip is good enough.”
“Go crazy. Give yourselves the best spa day money can buy.”
The girls were going to love it. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
He looked like he was about to say something else, but he just gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I hope you have a good night.”
“You too.”
A few moments after he left, I went upstairs to my room. I found a black velvet necklace box on the end of my bed. Inside was a beautiful silver word pendant suspended between two delicate chains.
Bandit.
I choked up when I saw it, my hands shaking and my eyes full of blurry tears as I put it on in the reflection of the mirror. It was gorgeous and the perfect length, nestling right below my collarbone.
My husband had done nothing but try with me, including inviting me out tonight. I knew he felt bad about Bandit, and this necklace proved it.
He couldn’t give me Bandit, but he was trying to connect. Just like I had asked. And I needed to step away from my grief and realize that he was actually being incredibly kind to me.
He was really trying.
He deserved better.
I decided to surprise him at his business dinner. I quickly did my hair and makeup and put on a slim black dress with long sleeves and a square neckline to showcase my new necklace. I paired that with heels in black suede and a black trench coat that belted at the waist.
Oleg asked where he was driving me.
“To Joule, please.”
He looked concerned. “Isn’t that where boss is dining?”
“Yes, and my attendance is a surprise.”
“We’re not supposed to do surprises anymore.”
“He literally just invited me to dinner. And I refused, quite rudely. I’d like to make that up to him in the nicest way possible, and I really hope you don’t ruin the surprise.”
“If he gets pissed, would you mind explaining that to him?”
My fingertips played with the necklace around my neck. “He’s not going to be pissed. He’s going to be happy. This is a good thing, Oleg. Trust me on that.”
The hostess allowed me to take a look through the restaurant when I promised to be quick.
The decor was a beautiful mixture of subdued Parisian charm and metropolitan Vancouver energy, all gray and charcoal tones with high leather booths and pendant lamps at every table.
Soft music, the gentle clink of cutlery and murmuring guests hummed in the background as I walked through the place, looking for Axel and his table of business guests.
I stopped cold when I saw Giselle and Axel sharing a booth alone together.
Motherfucker.
I didn’t even know why I was so stunned to see Axel sitting across from her. She looked like a siren, wearing a beautiful silver dress that demurely showcased her fabulous figure.
But what killed me was that they were alone.
Together.
Dining in a romantic place.
And here I was, proudly wearing my Bandit pendant, thinking my surprise would be a happy one.
I marched up to the table and the look of confusion on Axel’s face only angered me more.
“You didn’t have any plans with business people, did you? That’s just a tired excuse you hide behind.”
Axel looked stunned. “This is a business dinner.”
“Liar,” I cried in frustration.
Giselle’s look of faux shock infuriated me.