Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MILA
I was sitting on the couch next to the gas fireplace, with Bandit’s head on my lap. I was reading my textbook with one hand and petting him with the other.
I had waited to heat dinner, just in case Axel came home. Ever since Bandit had shown up, Axel seemed to spend a lot more time here. I was hoping he might want to eat with me.
Bandit sat up beside me on the couch, alert and focused when he heard the keys in the front door.
“It’s okay, Bandit.” I gave him an extra snuggle, trying to ignore how my pulse kicked up.
Axel appeared in the doorway and stopped when he saw us sitting on the couch.
“You’re home,” he said simply.
Everything about him felt intense, from his stillness to his focused gaze. Axel had a way of charging a room just by walking into it. Even tired or grumpy, he carried his power with a confidence few men possessed.
“How’s Bandit?” He tossed his keys, wallet and phone on the island before walking over to us. I watched as Bandit’s tail went berserk when Axel sat on the couch on the other side of him.
“Jordan says he sleeps the entire time I’m at school, and the rest of the time he just wants to hang out with me.”
Axel reached out and gently scratched Bandit’s neck. Bandit’s tail pounded on the couch.
“He really likes you.”
Axel’s smile almost reached his beautiful eyes. “No growling or aggressive behaviour?”
I solemnly shook my head. “Nothing like that. He’s still tracking the guard dog through the windows on their rounds, but he doesn’t growl.”
“Good.”
I woke up to the sound of Bandit whining at the door.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him. “Do you have to go outside?”
I wrapped a cardigan around my body and opened the door. He bolted down the hallway and disappeared into the dark.
By the time I got downstairs and turned on the kitchen light, Bandit was doing that weird body heave.
“Oh, no,” I cried, rushing to the door, but before I got there, he threw up on the tile.
I dropped to my knees and put my hand on his back. “It’s okay, boy.”
He threw up once more, and then stood there panting.
“What’s going on?” Axel walked in, his voice rough with sleep.
“I don’t know, he just threw up.” I looked over my shoulder and froze. Axel wore only a pair of green joggers that hung low on his hips.
Between his corded abs and messy hair, I didn’t know where to look, so I stood up and opened the patio door. Bandit sniffed and then wandered outside.
Behind me, Axel gathered some cleaning supplies.
Even his feet were bare. He bunched up a wad of paper towel and knelt down on the floor to clean up.
“I can do that.” I moved toward him nervously.
“I got it.”
I admired the width of his back muscles as he efficiently wiped up the floor.
“Do you think he needs a vet?”
He walked back to the kitchen and washed up at the sink. “If he starts throwing up repeatedly, we should take him to the vet, otherwise he’s fine.”
I watched my husband as he wiped his hands on a towel. “How do you know this?”
He shrugged. “We had a lot of dogs growing up.”
This was the first time my husband had ever mentioned his childhood or his past. Why was he such a mystery? I didn’t know anything about him, except that he was constantly working to protect me, take care of me and avoid me.
He delivered Bandit and me back to my bedroom and ended the night with a quiet, “Wake me if he gets sick again.”
I tried to think of something to say that might make him stay longer, but nothing came to mind. “Okay.”
He shut the door of my bedroom.
I sat on my bed and stared at the door, already feeling the loss of his presence.
Lately, something had been shifting inside me when it came to Axel. He never let me down, and he was always so protective. But it was more than that.
Tonight when he came downstairs with messy hair and no shirt, I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off him.
I thought about how the corded muscles of his abdomen disappeared into his joggers.
And how his shoulders flexed when he cleaned the floor.
His skin looked so soft and warm. Before tonight, I had thought a lot about how he had touched me, but now I was having thoughts about touching him.
But this was more than sex. It was how he made me feel.
Bandit jumped on the bed before sprawling out behind me. I turned off the lights and snuggled under the covers.
What did I want with my husband?
What did I want from someone who protected me but always kept his distance?
My eyes opened, and I stared into the dark as I contemplated the truth of my answer, knowing I was in trouble because I wanted something from my husband that he didn’t want to do.
I wanted Axel to stay.
During study hour, Tanya, Selena and I feasted on homemade bacon and cheese pierogi that Tanya’s mom had sent to school for us.
I took a bite. “So how do you make a man want to spend time with you?”
Selena swallowed before speaking. “Who are we talking about?”
“Axel doesn’t want to spend any time with me.”
“He doesn’t want to hang out, or he doesn’t want anything spicy?”
“Both.”
“Well, when do you see him?”
I flushed, nervous to open up about my life. “I live with him.”
They looked at each other, completely gobsmacked, and then both their gazes swung back to me. “When did you move in together?”
“When we moved here?”
They exchanged another look.
Tanya leaned forward. “We have so many questions.”
I decided to be as honest as I could. “We aren’t really a situationship. We’re sort of like roommates.”
Selena took off her glasses to polish them on her shirt. “When do you see him?”
“Hardly ever. He works all the time.”
“A man is either interested or he’s not. If he’s not interested in the spice, there isn’t anything any woman can do about that.”
I thought about how he’d touched me and the way he talked dirty to me, like he was saying all the things he wanted to do but wasn’t letting himself. “He’s interested. He just doesn’t want to be interested. He says he’s trying to protect me.”
They both aahed over that. “Yeah, he’s interested.”
Selena pushed the last pierogi toward me. “Have you tried seducing him?”
“Like how?”
“My personal favorite is to give him a little show, you know? Skimpy clothes, leaning toward him with lots of cleavage, that kind of thing.”
I remembered coming home from the bar and stripping off my clothes on the staircase while he impassively watched from below. But I had been drunk, which seemed to be his sticking point. Unfortunately, I had never had the courage to try anything like that while not under the influence.
“I guess I can try that.” I shoved the entire pierogi in my mouth and spoke with my mouth full. “These are insane.”
“Don’t deck yourself out in lingerie,” Tanya added. “Be subtle. Like, walk around the house without a bra, in crop tops or little workout shorts.”
Selena nodded sagely. “Yeah, guys go crazy when they think you don’t notice them.”
I was in my room reading when I heard Axel come home around ten that night. My nerves jangled as I contemplated what I was about to do.
Now or never!
I kicked off my sweats, put on a thong and paired those with a pale blue sweater that barely hung past my butt cheeks. I pulled the barrel roll out of my hair and shook out the bouncing curls that he’d probably think were natural and not the result of dry rolling for five hours.
I wandered downstairs in bare feet, with Bandit on my heels.
Axel was sitting at the island, looking at his phone. He had shrugged out of his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, which was also unbuttoned at the neck.
The microwave hummed.
“Oh,” I said softly. “I didn’t realize you were home.”
He glanced up and froze when he saw my bare feet and the sweater that barely came three inches down my bare thighs. “Just got here.”
“I’m just going to make some tea,” I told him. “Don’t mind me.”
I turned on the kettle, deliberately keeping my back to him. I fussed over picking which flavor I wanted, and then reached up to the higher shelf, knowing that by doing so, I was lifting my sweater up past my naked butt.
I took my time. First I reached up and brought down one mug. Then I changed my mind and wriggled as I stretched to put it back up.
“How was your day?” I gasped, as I reached on tippy toes for a mug further back.
I glanced over my shoulder. He was completely still, his eyes glued to my butt. I pretended not to notice, but hot butterflies tingled in my gut when I saw the intensity of his gaze.
“It was fine. Yours?”
I turned around and faced him while I opened my tea bag. “Do you care if I get Jordan to cook for my friends? Selena and Tanya? Tanya’s mom is always sending baking, so now Jordan is kind of acting like my mom by cooking for my friends.”
His eyes were on my legs. “I think that’s perfect.”
I turned to pour the hot water into my mug. “They love his cooking.” I deliberately let my baby teaspoon clatter on the counter and bounce onto the floor.
I kept talking, but I bent over at the waist, not the knees.
I could feel my sweater sliding up my back as I did.
I was basically doing my best to pose like a pinup model for him, with my butt cheeks exposed as I slowly bent over.
How could he not tell that I was deliberately posing? “How is your food?”
He cleared his throat. “Fine.”
I glanced back at him from my position. His jaw was tight and his cheekbones were flushed, but his gaze thrilled me the most. He was staring at me with so much intensity, I feared I might incinerate on the spot.
I stood up and dramatically flipped my hair so the long curls bounced around my face. “I was thinking about your invitation.”
His eyes met mine, and they sparked molten heat. “Remind me again?”
I gave him my sweetest, most guileless smile. “It was generous of you to invite me to your business dinners.”