Chapter 3
Jordan
What. The. Fuck.
I stare at the tow-headed little boy who runs right into Victoria’s arms, like he was waiting for her.
She has a kid?!
And he has to be around three.
Jesus Fuck.
I put my SUV in reverse and slowly pull out of her driveway, but I can’t tear my eyes away from her. Or the little boy who seems so happy to see her. He probably can’t see me through the tinted windows, but just before the door closes behind them, I see a little hand come up in a wave.
Did he just wave at me?
Fuck. Me.
I pull in a shaky breath and head back the way I came, but my heart is racing like I just skated a double shift on the ice. It isn’t possible. We didn’t sleep together again after her miscarriage.
Was there a miscarriage? Did her fucking father lie about that too? Just like he tried to say I raped her. Coerced her. How I was an adult and she was an innocent little teen. There’s only nine months between us. I turned eighteen in February. She turned eighteen in November of the same year.
And despite what everyone thinks, we waited.
Not because it was illegal. There’s a Romeo & Juliet law in Florida.
If a woman is sixteen or seventeen, and the guy is under twenty-four, which I certainly was, then it’s not statutory rape.
But we waited because she asked me to. It was important to her to be ready, and turning eighteen was her benchmark.
So that’s what we did.
I never hurt her, never would have done anything she didn’t want to do. I wasn’t a virgin but had only had sex a few times with one other person. I was her first everything, and we enjoyed the hell out of it. Each new position, every single experiment, was nothing but pleasure.
The idea that I did something illegal, or worse—immoral—never sat right with me. Thankfully, she had my back in that regard. Not in any other way, but at least when it came to the legalities, she never backed down.
But there’s a kid.
A child I didn’t know about.
How is this possible?
My thoughts race the entire drive home and then I sit in my driveway for a while.
I’m currently living with my friend and teammate, Jude LeBlanc, and his wife Chloe.
After getting sent down to the team’s minor league affiliate in Atlanta, and finally getting called back up, I’ve been bouncing around a little.
Living with one teammate, who then got married, and now with Jude.
It’s not that I can’t afford a place of my own, I’ve just been trying to figure out what’s next.
Whether I want to rent or buy, and if I buy, do I buy a house or a condo or something else.
I’m not necessarily afraid I’ll be sent back to Atlanta—I think I’ve proven myself to the team at this point—but it’s more about feeling restless.
Why would I buy a house on my own? A house should be shared with a partner, right? I just haven’t met anyone I want to get serious with. By the same token, buying a condo feels wasteful. So many fees, HOAs, maintenance, and a bunch of other shit I don’t like.
Living with Jude and Chloe is easier.
I don’t pay rent, but I buy groceries and do little things for them, like pick up our collective dry cleaning.
Chloe is a doctor and her hours are insane.
Jude and I travel a lot with the team. Not to mention practices, games, and other responsibilities.
They’re grateful to have someone who can do time-consuming chores for them, and I’m grateful to have good friends willing to give me some time to figure out what I want in life.
The house is quiet when I go inside, but I see light coming from the family room, which means someone is watching TV. It’s probably Jude, so I pad in that direction and am surprised to see the two of them cuddled on the couch.
“Oh, hey. Sorry.” I lift an apologetic hand. “I just wanted to say hi. I’ll leave you guys alone.”
“It’s okay.” Chloe sits up. “Movie just finished. We were going to bed anyway.” She pauses, cocking her head. “You okay? You have a weird look on your face.”
Chloe is like the big sister I never knew I needed. She’s intuitive and thoughtful, a good listener, and a really good friend. Which is exactly what I need tonight.
“I don’t want to bother you,” I say slowly. “But I had an interesting night.”
“Come tell us,” Jude says.
“Well,” I say slowly, walking over and perching on the back of the sectional. “I saw Victoria tonight.”
“The Victoria?” Jude’s eyes widen.
“Your ex?” Chloe echoes, staring.
I give them an overview of what happened, ending with driving her home and the little boy who ran to greet her.
They’re quiet for a beat too long.
“You think he’s yours?” Jude asks finally.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I mean, our kid would be three now. The kid I saw could be a big two-year-old or a small four-year-old…”
“You think she would do that?” Chloe asks, wrinkling her nose. “Even if she was the worst human being on the planet, wouldn’t she want child support?”
“Her parents hate me,” I say drolly. “They probably paid her not to tell me just so I wouldn’t be in the kid’s life.”
“That’s cold,” Jude says, shaking his head. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I’m confused and a little pissed off. I mean, I’ll be pissed off if it turns out he’s mine.”
“So, you’ve already decided what to do next,” Chloe says softly, a faint smile on her lips.
“Well, I mean, wouldn’t you want to know?” I demand.
“Absolutely.” She nods. “But you have to think about how you want to go about finding out. I don’t think showing up at her house and demanding answers is prudent.”
“Especially with the way her parents feel about you,” Jude adds. “You don’t need any more of that kind of trouble.”
“I don’t,” I agree. “I’m just not sure what the answer is. If I go through a lawyer, demand a paternity test, I feel like that just starts unnecessary drama. Especially if he’s not mine.”
“Maybe talk to her?” Chloe suggests softly. “Can you call her?”
“She changed her number, and I don’t have the new one.”
“Do you know where she works or goes to school?”
I shake my head. “The only way I can get to her is to go knock on her door.”
Jude grimaces. “I don’t think that’s the right move.”
“I don’t either.”
“Well, as much as I don’t condone stalking,” Chloe says carefully, “it might be worthwhile to go wait for her to leave and follow her somewhere. But don’t approach her unless it’s in a safe, public place, so she doesn’t feel threatened.”
I grimace because I hate the idea of doing that, but at the same time, the only other option is to get lawyers involved and that’s not optimal either.
“You’re probably right,” I say after a moment. “I don’t want to blow up either of our lives but if she had my kid…”
“You deserve to know,” Jude says quietly.
“But you also have to be prepared,” Chloe adds. “If he is yours, it’s going to change everything about your life. Your finances, your free time, even how much time you have to spend seeing Victoria and her family.”
“I know. I just…I can’t live with the idea of having a kid out there who grows up thinking his dad didn’t want him. I can’t do it.”
Chloe smiles. “Of course not.”
“And you know, this might be cathartic for you,” Jude says. “You and Victoria never had closure. Never said goodbye. And you can deny it all you want, but we both know, somewhere in your subconscious, that’s part of the reason why you can’t seem to get into another serious relationship.
I open my mouth to protest but there’s enough truth to what he said to make me hesitate.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Jude continues after a moment.
“Just think about it. Think about all the different scenarios. The one where this child is yours. The one where he isn’t.
The one where you and Victoria maybe talk about the past. Her miscarriage.
The way her parents treated you. There’s a whole can of worms about to be unleashed if you seek out answers, so you should be at least a little bit prepared. ”
Jude is one of the best human beings I know, and everything he said makes a ton of sense.
So why do I suddenly feel like throwing up?