Chapter One
Jamie
Depression is more than just feeling blue.
- Feelings of sadness, guilt, helplessness, or hopelessness
- Changes to sleep patterns and/or eating habits
- Impacts to physical health, including joint pain and muscle ache
- Anger or irritability
Check. Check. Check. And double-check. My entire existence had been summed up in four bullet points. Although, depressed wasn’t exactly right. It was more like wallowing.
Deep, committed wallowing.
For two long days and two sleepless nights, Copper Ridge Regional Hospital had been my home.
Halfway through day three, I was desperate enough to dig through discarded medical pamphlets, hoping one might tell me why I felt like I was unraveling.
I folded the little booklet in half, then in half again, until it was small enough to disappear into my pocket. Like that would make anything better.
How could it? My real problem didn’t have a neat and tidy diagnosis.
My father was dying, and it was slow, painful, and ugly. The worst part—the part I didn’t want to admit out loud—was that the strongest thing I felt wasn’t sadness. It was resentment. Sharp and bitter, it curled in my gut every time I thought about what I’d left behind in Toronto.
Who I’d left behind.
I’d built a life there from nothing. Scraped and fought and planned until every piece fit just right. And now I was back here, in the place I’d promised never to return, disconnected from the things that mattered most. All while I sat at the bedside of a man who hadn’t wanted me for years.
Guilt followed close behind the resentment, heavy and obligatory. What kind of daughter resents her dying father? What kind of person feels trapped by someone else’s death?
Me, apparently.
My chest ached again, the now-familiar tightness pulling at my ribs. I pressed my palm to my diaphragm, breathing carefully, counting down the way my father’s nurse, Judy, had shown me.
Stress, she’d said. Your body’s just reacting.
I believed her. Sort of.
Still, my mind drifted where it always did when things felt too big, too heavy to deal with. To my son, Hunter.
He was more than two hours away, safe with people I trusted. People I had no reason not to trust, anyway. But the distance gnawed at me, a low hum of worry I couldn’t shut off.
My phone sat face-down on the table.
I flipped it over. No new messages.
He’s fine. It’s the middle of the school day. Silence doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.
At least, that’s what I told myself. But I’d told myself so many things over the years. A lot of them lies.
“Here, I think you need this more than I do.” An open container of chocolate pudding appeared in front of me without warning.
Startled, I looked up to find a boy grinning down at me from across the table.
He was about fourteen, fifteen at most. Bald and pale, his illness impossible to miss. And yet he was beautiful.
His blue eyes flashed with mischief, bright enough to steal my breath.
He dropped into the chair across from me. “I had a bite already. Hope you don’t mind. It’s really good pudding. Lots of sugar. I was enjoying it, but then I saw your face and figured you needed it more than me.”
“I look that bad, do I?” Not that I needed the confirmation. I hadn’t showered in two days, my hair was a tangled mess, and I was wearing a sweatshirt with a spot of yesterday’s dinner on the sleeve.
A total disaster.
But next to him—a sick kid who was smiling at me like I was the sun—I was the perfect picture of health. It was disgusting that I’d spent even a moment worrying over my imagined symptoms.
First chance I got, I needed to toss the pamphlet.
“Hell no. You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he said with a straight face. “But you looked sad, so I figured I’d make you smile. I bet you’d look even hotter with a smile.”
A loud, ridiculous snort of laughter escaped before I could stop it. My hand flew to my mouth like that would somehow hide it.
Maybe he was working overtime to flirt. Maybe he was genuinely trying to make me feel better. Either way, it was working.
I dropped my hand and gave him the biggest, brightest smile I could manage.
“There it is. Yeah, that’s stunning.” His face shone with sincerity.
“Is this a prank? I’m not going to end up looking like a fool in your next social media video, am I?”
His smile vanished. “What? You think I hand out chocolate pudding to every woman I see just for likes?”
My chest tightened again at the hurt in his voice. “No, of course not. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
His expression cracked wide open as he burst into laughter.
“I’m kidding.” He wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. “But hey, you smiled. Did I mention how pretty you are when you do that? Keep it up.”
For the first time since I’d arrived in Copper Ridge, the ache in my chest eased. It wasn’t much, but enough that I could finally breathe without effort.
Until a low, commanding voice cut through the moment. “Caleb. Are you hitting on unsuspecting women again?”
Tingles shot down my spine, and all the wonderful breathing I’d been doing stopped.
Who was this magnificent man?
He was tall and broad, with the kind of presence that demanded attention. Everything about his stance said he was used to being in control.
My gaze dragged over his strong, shadowed jaw to the cleft in his chin. Like a beacon, it seemed designed to draw my attention to his wide, perfect lips. His expression was amused but assessing, highlighted by incredibly expressive blue eyes. Even his slightly untamed eyebrows somehow worked.
Everything about him worked.
“…don’t you think?”
I blinked, dragging in a gasping breath before managing to stutter, “W-what?”
He huffed a quiet laugh, stepping closer. “Caleb can be a bit in your face. If he’s bothering you…?” His sapphire eyes danced over my face, his lips tipping into a slow, knowing smile.
That smile said, I see exactly what I’m doing to you. And I like it.
“I was being a gentleman,” Caleb argued. “She’s having a rough day, so I offered her some of my chocolate. I wanted to see her smile.” He turned to me again. “You really do have a fantastic smile.”
“I thought you were giving me all of your chocolate.” I couldn’t help but grin. “Except that one bite you stole.”
A deep, gruff laugh rumbled from the gorgeous man. He was already impossibly handsome, but when he smiled…damn. Dimples and everything.
My insides reacted in ways I did not approve of.
“Ah, jeez. Eric, you’ve done it again.” Caleb groaned. “You’re stealing the show. How am I supposed to compete when you’ve got a full head of hair?”
My cheeks flamed.
Eric only smiled more, resting a steady hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Caleb, no one can compete with you. All the ladies love you.”
He threw a sly wink my way, and the world tilted.
My emotions were a messy tangle—lusting after a stranger, joking with a sick kid, while my father lay alone in another room dying. No wonder I felt like I was splitting down the middle.
“Yeah,” I said. “Definitely a charmer.”
“So…” Caleb leaned in. “What’s got you so bummed? Tell me who stole your puppy so I can kick their butt.”
Both he and Eric gave me that same protective frown, ready to fight whatever monster I named. And for a second, it hit me how surreal this was. These two wore their hearts openly, while I was hiding behind made-up medical diagnoses.
Sad? Must be depression.
Chest pain? Could be a heart condition.
Never mind my dying father or the fact that I’d left the most important person in my life behind. Easier to pretend my body was falling apart than admit my life was.
“I’m just missing someone.” They were honest words. Too honest, maybe.
“Someone male or someone female?” Caleb asked with a grin.
“Someone almost as charming as you. And I’m worried he’s probably sitting at home missing me. Or worse, he’s not missing me at all. Maybe he’s busy having the time of his life while I’m away.”
Eric’s jaw tightened, something dark flashing in his eyes. “If he’s not missing you, he’s a fool.”
The sharp edge in his voice caught me off guard, and the sting of his words hit fast. Criticism of Hunter always lit my fuse. Nobody got to judge him. Not without going through me. Except Eric didn’t understand Hunter wasn’t just some random guy. He was my son.
“No—” I tried to correct him.
“Eric. Not cool,” Caleb cut in. “The lady needs cheering up. We can be nice, right?”
I tried again. “It’s okay, but—”
“Sorry. Caleb’s right. That was out of line.” Eric’s voice softened, but his intense gaze held mine, pinning me in place. “And it’s not my business.”
My pulse spiked as I broke eye contact, my face flaming brighter.
“Hey! I didn’t even ask your name.” Caleb exclaimed before I could try to speak again.
“Jamie.” I cleared my throat. “Well…Jamison, technically. But everyone just calls me Jamie. Verdict’s still out on whether I like it.”
Perfect, now I was rambling.
“Well, Jamie,” Caleb said warmly, “it’s a lovely name. Suits you. I’m Caleb. That big idiot is my brother, Eric. I make no apologies for him. He’s acting a bit douchey, but usually he’s a great guy.” He smirked, clearly pleased with himself.
“Okay, hotshot.” Eric rested his hand on Caleb’s shoulder again. “We need to get going. Mom and Dad will worry if you’re gone too long.”
The protectiveness in his voice was unmistakable. This was a man who took care of what was his.
“Yeah.” Caleb sighed dramatically, then brightened. “It was really nice meeting you, beautiful Jamie. You can keep my chocolate pudding. And if you stop missing that other guy, come visit me. I’m in room 1202A.”
Eric let out a warning groan, but he was smiling. “Really?”
“Too much?” Caleb asked.
I smirked. “No, it’s perfect. Just what I needed.” Scooping a huge spoonful of pudding, I shoved it in my mouth. “Chocolate’s my favorite,” I mumbled around the sugary goo.
Both guys laughed. Caleb’s smile was bright and proud. Eric’s smile was something else. Big, yes, but threaded with a deeper hint of recognition. Like something between us had clicked into place, and he had every intention of exploring it.
Too bad I’d probably never see them again. As charming as the invite was, I had zero plans of wandering into Caleb’s hospital room for a casual visit.
“It was nice meeting you boys,” I said around another bite, hoping Caleb would remember me as a bright spot in his day, the way he’d been in mine.
I waved my chocolate-covered spoon as they walked away, something tight and unfamiliar scratching at my heart.
At the doorway, Eric turned, gave me one last smile, and called over his shoulder, “See you around, beautiful Jamie.”
I was in a town filled with one too many bad memories, stuck in a hospital miles away from my son, watching the father I’d avoided for ten years die…
But there was a smile on my face.
And this one was real.