Chapter Eighteen
Eric
Miraculously, we got Jamie checked out without a single complaint to management.
The desk clerk shot me a look I couldn’t decipher—probably recognition, since most of the staff knew exactly who I was—but I didn’t care to analyze it. Focusing on anything other than Jamie was pointless.
Every word, every smile, every tiny expression captivated me. I was obsessed.
Especially after spending the morning in bed with her. Hell, fucking her might’ve only made it worse.
After securing her bags in the back of my truck, we climbed in, ready to head to the café Jamie insisted had the best coffee around.
“Well, that was awkward,” Jamie said as we pulled away from the resort.
“What was?”
“Seriously? The way that clerk was flirting with you?”
“She was? I didn’t notice. I was just happy we got you out without any trouble.”
The tension radiating from her was palpable. “Eric, she asked you for your phone number.”
“Isn’t that normal for a hotel?”
“Why would that be normal? You weren’t even on the guest list. The room was under my name, and they already had my number.
” Her voice sharpened, a hint of possessiveness creeping in that sent a thrill through me.
“And I can assure you she did not lick her lips like that when she asked for my ID at check-in.”
I grinned as I pulled into the café parking lot. “Huh. I guess it’s a good thing you wouldn’t let me give it to her, then.”
“Wait.” She studied my face. “She knew who you were, didn’t she?”
“Maybe.”
She turned away from me with a huff and got out of the truck, slamming the door. “Still didn’t give her the right. Lecherous whore. What kind of woman does that? Hits on a man who’s clearly taken?”
Taken. Christ, she had no idea how right she was.
Panic flickered across her face after the words left her mouth. “Not that you’re taken. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t know…” Heat rushed through me at the thought of her wanting to claim me. “I seem to recall something about a secret club. If I remember correctly, I was given full rights and privileges as part of my membership.”
I caught her around the waist, pulling her to my side. “I’m all yours as long as you want me, beautiful.”
She smiled and ducked her head, color rising in her cheeks. I pulled her closer as we walked into the café, and she settled against me like we’d done this a million times.
After the last twenty-four hours, telling Jamie I didn’t want anyone else felt natural. How could I possibly want another woman when she was around?
The only thing I wanted was more of her—her mind, her body, and perhaps a piece of her soul to keep when it came time for her to leave.
She hadn’t lied about the coffee. It was better than average, and after days of hospital sludge, it hit the spot. With bagels and coffee filling us up, I relaxed again.
Not that I’d forgotten the obligations waiting at the hospital. I could never forget about Caleb, but my worry over him felt less consuming. A sense of optimism hung in the air.
Somewhere deep inside, I believed he’d be okay.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” I reached across the table, needing the contact of her fingers against mine.
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t we be heading back to the hospital?”
“Well, I was thinking…” I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles, anchoring myself to this moment instead of the sterile hell waiting for us.
“My brother and sister should be here by now. Caleb’s going to have company all day, and he’s still got four more days until his transplant.
Once we hit Day Zero, I won’t be able to leave.
He’ll be in isolation, but I’m going to be caged in that hospital for days, possibly weeks. ”
“Day Zero?”
“Transplant day. We’re on a countdown. Like we’re dropping a fucking bomb or something.” The bitter laugh that escaped me held no humor. Four days. Four days of pretending I wasn’t fucking terrified.
“Well, that’s ominous, isn’t it?” Jamie winced at her own words. “Sorry, I’m just ignorant to the whole thing. You say transplant, and I picture blood-dripping organs, ice packed into coolers.”
“It’s a bone marrow transplant. He’ll get an infusion into his center line—that big ugly catheter tube sticking out of his chest. And then we sit and wait, hoping the stem cells start making new white blood cells for him.”
“And he has to be in isolation?” Her hand tightened around mine.
“For a while. Infection is a big risk. It’s all a waiting game. He’ll probably need blood transfusions and antibiotics as well. But it takes weeks before the new cells start to form.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Wow. He’s such a brave kid.”
Braver than me. I was the one running away, stealing time with her when I should be holding vigil at his bedside.
But what good was I doing there? Sitting in that chair, watching him sleep, counting down to Day Zero like some kind of death march?
“He is.” I forced myself to meet her eyes. “But my point—until Day Zero, I’m kind of useless. Maybe you and I could spend more time together. We could stay out in the world a little longer. The hospital will still be there tomorrow.”
The words felt like both confession and justification. I needed her to understand that this wasn’t abandonment. It was survival.
“I like the sound of this idea, but I’d really like it if you’d call Caleb first, just to be sure.”
So, I did. When Caleb heard I’d be spending time with Jamie, he responded, “You better be talking about me the whole time.” He also made me promise to bring her by first thing the next morning.
The relief that flooded through me was immediate. My little brother was giving me permission to be human.
Maybe it was irresponsible. Maybe my optimism was misplaced. Hell, I could’ve been in complete denial.
I didn’t care.
Part of my daily routine was focusing on what mattered. Today, spending time with Jamie felt crucial. Knowing our secret club meeting could end just as quickly as it began drove me to make the most of the moment.
The sun was shining. The spring weather was more like early summer. Life outside the hospital was vibrant and active.
I needed this. I needed to feel like a real person instead of a zombie. I needed to watch Jamie as she shed her fears and anxieties, stepping into the world of the living.
The world of the sick and dying would still be there, waiting. Jamie and I weren’t dead yet. We just needed to remind ourselves of that.
When I suggested the beach for our next excursion, Jamie agreed without hesitation. I wanted to see the Bay up close.
I hadn’t been to the shore once in the five months since I’d moved here. Considering my parents’ home was only a fifteen-minute walk from the beach, it felt ridiculous that I hadn’t managed the trip.
“Do you think it’s too early for swimming?” I stood on the boardwalk, looking out at the smooth, calm waters.
“Umm, yeah. You’d freeze your nuts off.” Her tone was saucy, like she thought I should’ve known better.
“You make it sound so enticing.” I laughed, but the sun was hot against my back, and the water looked tempting. Irresistible, even. “I think I’m going to chance it.”
“What?”
I was already pulling my shirt over my head, enjoying the way her eyes tracked the movement. “Come on, how many opportunities do you get to do something fun like this?”
“Fun? You think jumping into an ice bath is fun? Eric, there’s no way you’re dragging me into that water.”
“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.” I stepped closer, watching her pupils dilate. “I’ll make a deal with you.”
“No. No more deals.” But her voice lacked conviction, and she didn’t move away when I invaded her personal space.
“I seem to recall our last deal worked out in your favor. How many orgasms were involved? Three or four?”
“Eric.” She looked around, as if someone might be listening. “That was different. Besides, our last deal worked out in your favor too. I highly doubt this one will be enjoyable for either of us.”
“So quick to assume. You know what they say about assumptions…” I could see her preparing to object, so I reached out, catching her chin between my fingers. “You can always say no, but you have to hear my offer first.”
The way she melted into my touch sent satisfaction coursing through me.
“The deal is, you agree to get in that water with me.” I held up my hand, stopping her protest. “You only have to go up to your knees. If you make it that far with me, then later, when we head over to your dad’s place, I’ll help you make some new memories of your childhood home.”
She looked skeptical, so I leaned closer, my thumb brushing across her bottom lip. “We could give that cozy little twin bed of yours some action. I bet I can fuck you hard enough to break it. Want to find out?”
She was blushing again, and I refused to believe it was just the sun’s heat. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, and if she wasn’t careful, I’d be dragging her into the water and trying to make her come at the same time.
“Well, beautiful? What do you say to that deal?”
“I think you’ve got your work cut out for you. My childhood bed is a double, not a twin.” She practically moaned the words.
We raced each other to the shore, tossing our shoes and socks aside. When we reached the water, Jamie stalled to roll up her pant legs, but I hoisted her over my shoulder, carrying her in as she squealed.
Only seconds later, I wanted to squeal too. “Shit, it’s cold.”
Jamie only laughed. Perched over my shoulder, she was unaffected by the frigid temperature.
It felt like a million tiny knives were poking at my legs, but I refused to back down, plowing on until the water reached my knees.
“What’s the matter? Is the water a little chilly?”
“Why don’t you find out?” I grunted, tipping forward and dumping her into the lake.
I made sure she went in feet first—I wasn’t a complete asshole—but she stumbled on the landing, her ass hitting the water before I could steady her.
“Motherfucker. That’s fucking cold.”
It was the foulest language I’d heard from her, and it was adorable. But I was in just as much pain as she was. My balls were nowhere near the water, but they were in jeopardy of freezing off, just like she’d predicted.
“Sorry.” I stepped toward her, determined to carry her back out of the ice, but the little devil splashed me, right in the face.
“Oops, sorry.” Her giggles were infectious.
That was it. Deal or no deal, she was going to get it. But when I bent to splash her back, she took off running.
“I don’t think so.” My height advantage made it easy to catch her.
Scooping her back into my arms, I ran toward the beach, kicking up as much surf as possible and soaking us both in the process.
Our antics and laughter attracted an audience. As we made it back to the sand, we were greeted with looks of bewilderment and humor.
One asshole leered at Jamie in her wet T-shirt. I caught his eye and held it. Whatever he read there made him decide he had somewhere else to be.
Most of the other onlookers dispersed after realizing we were okay, but an older couple lingered, watching as we shook ourselves off like wet dogs and jumped around to warm up.
“Looks like you were having fun,” the lady called.
“I’m not sure if getting hypothermia can be classified as a good time.” Jamie laughed.
The lady ignored Jamie’s sarcasm and turned to her husband. “Remember when we used to fool around like that?”
“What do you mean? I chased you around the condo just last night.” He winked.
“Oh, yes. That was fun. Still, it’s nice to see young people being so carefree,” she said as they wandered away.
Carefree?
Was this what Caleb raved about—living in the moment? If so, I wanted a whole fucking lot more of it.
Watching Jamie pull her wet hair into a messy knot, that delirious smile lighting up her face, I felt something I’d almost forgotten existed. Pure happiness. The kind that had nothing to do with responsibility or obligation or keeping everyone else afloat.
It wasn’t possible for Jamie and me to be completely carefree with so much waiting for us in the real world. But for now, everything felt right. As long as we kept the darkness at bay, we could have this.
Taking Jamie’s hand in mine, I led her back up the beach to the boardwalk. “Come on, beautiful girl. I owe you.”