Chapter Twenty-Two
Jamie
Interloper. Fraud. Liar.
So many names to call myself, but none of them were harsh enough.
Eric and I had agreed to stop pretending, but holding his hand while acting like I wanted nothing more than friendship and sex made me feel like a con artist.
No matter how many times I reminded myself this wasn’t my real life—real life was waiting for me back in Toronto—I couldn’t stop daydreaming about the possibility of something more.
Celeste’s accusations may have been directed at Eric, but the guilt belonged to me. I’d been selfish, stealing his time, keeping him from his family. The idea that I was helping him by keeping his mind off his troubles seemed ludicrous now.
All I’d done was play house with a man who was possibly in a worse situation than me.
If I was decent, I’d walk away before it was too late. Before I hurt him.
Before I hurt myself.
Walking into Caleb’s room, my nerves spiked again. This time I knew Celeste’s condemnation would be waiting along with whatever we’d find behind that door.
Eric’s hand anchored me. Without him, I wouldn’t have the strength to face this. But the moment I saw Caleb—drained of color, curled under blankets, visibly shaking—I knew that strength needed to flow the other way. I couldn’t steal it from Eric when he needed it most.
Caleb’s eyes were screwed shut, fighting pain instead of resting. This wasn’t the vivacious troublemaker I’d met before. This was a sick child who needed love.
“I brought you a visitor.” Eric’s voice dropped to barely a whisper.
Caleb’s eyes fluttered open. He struggled to smile, game face sliding into place. “I knew you’d be back. I’m too damn irresistible.”
“You’re too damn something.” Celeste’s scolding cut through the moment. “You need to rest, Caleb. Visiting isn’t on the agenda.”
“Lighten up, Cece.” Caleb’s sigh held exhaustion. “I’ve been tied to this bed for days. All the resting is making me stir-crazy. Besides, having a visit from this angel is already making me feel better.”
Celeste shot Eric a look like he was somehow responsible for Caleb’s defiance. Eric’s smile tightened, his posture shifting into something unmistakably protective.
I stopped watching their silent standoff. Caleb had his eyes fixed on me, trying to convince me he was fine when clearly, he wasn’t.
I squeezed Eric’s hand once before letting go and moving to Caleb’s bedside. His skin was clammy when I took his fingers in mine, his grip weak.
“I don’t have any pudding to share.” I laced our fingers together.
Tears filled his eyes before he squeezed them shut.
“But I’ll do whatever I can to see your real smile again.”
“As long as you keep smiling, then I will too.” His voice came out hoarse. “Are you done missing that other guy yet?”
“No. But I’ll never be done missing him. He’s pretty special. Do you want to hear about him?”
“Is he going to make me as jealous as Eric does?”
“Maybe.” The thought of how alike they were made me smile. “His name is Hunter. He’s nine years old. He’s my son, and aside from meeting you and your brother, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Really?” His smile almost brightened. “Meeting me is the second-best thing?”
“Open your ears, dude.” Eric’s teasing carried warmth. “She said meeting you and me.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Eric. We all know she just threw you in there to make you feel better.” Despite the strain in his voice, Caleb’s sarcasm was still on point. “Tell me all about him, Jamie. Please?”
With a light laugh, I launched into stories about Hunter.
I wiped sweat from Caleb’s face while describing how Hunter loved music and played in the school band, how he definitely hadn’t inherited any musical ability from me.
I fed him ice chips while listing the pros and cons of letting my son have a dog.
I rubbed his back as I explained why Hunter wouldn’t be a flirt but would break hearts with his devotion to one woman.
I tried getting Caleb’s perspective on baseball versus woodworking class, but he fell asleep mid-sentence.
He looked so young. So innocent.
Gratitude overwhelmed me suddenly. This boy had chosen me. This incredibly sick child had recognized my loneliness and set his own suffering aside for me. He was amazing, and thinking about how fragile he was, how precarious his situation, made me sick.
God, his poor parents.
I didn’t know how they managed. If it was Hunter lying in that bed, waiting for treatment that could either save or kill him…
No. I couldn’t even think it.
Just being separated from Hunter had sent me into a tailspin. If something this horrible happened to him, I’d lose my mind.
At least the Alexanders had each other. They might not always agree, but they were here together. Even Celeste, with her sharp edges, genuinely cared about her family’s well-being.
They had love. I had no doubt, all six of them made a strong unit.
“You’re really good with him.” Celeste’s murmur came from the corner.
For over an hour, I’d been the only one talking while Eric and Celeste listened to me chat Caleb’s ear off.
“I think he was exhausted. Maybe his body will heal while he sleeps.” I had no idea if it was true, but we all needed the reassurance.
“No, Jamie. Cece’s right.” Eric’s voice carried conviction. “You’re so natural with him. Making him feel like it was just a normal conversation.”
“It was. He’s a normal kid. Why wouldn’t I have a normal conversation with him?”
“Excuse me.” Celeste’s voice cracked, tears threatening. “I’m just going to use the washroom. Maybe call home. Will you be here later, Jamie?”
“I don’t think so. I need to see my father.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.” Her brows drew tight, sharp lines forming. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so…compassionate. Maybe I’ll see you another time.”
She rushed out, leaving Eric and me alone with sleeping Caleb.
“Did I upset her?” Worry twisted through me.
“She feels bad about being rude earlier. You just proved why my family loves you.”
“Your family barely knows me, Eric. I met your parents once.”
“They loved you. Even Cece will now, and she’s impossible to please. Trust me.”
“I do trust you, but I think you’re building me up too much. Your parents couldn’t pick me out of a lineup. If I was in their shoes…”
The words died. If I were in their shoes, I’d be sitting in this room alone, dying a little more each day.
Eric’s arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace. I wanted to stay and pretend everything was fine—that my dad wasn’t dying, that Caleb wasn’t suffering, that Eric and I had a real chance.
But I’d promised Eric I’d stop pretending. Wasn’t it time I got real with myself?
“Thank you for believing in me, Eric.”
“Thank you for trusting me, Jamie.”
“Didn’t we already cover the trust thing?” I managed a smile.
“Yeah, you’re right. Is that strange?”
“What?”
“That we trust each other so completely, so fast?”
I hadn’t considered it before. Trusting Eric felt effortless. He’d been protecting me, watching over me from the moment we met.
But what reason had I given him to trust me?
“Maybe. It probably has to do with all the drama you’ve seen me go through. You’ve witnessed my ugly side.”
“Even your ugly side is beautiful.” His voice dropped, intimate and full of meaning as he leaned closer.
Heat flooded my cheeks at his words, and the way he looked at me.
Then his lips were on mine, fast as lightning. His kiss ignited something fierce and burning deep within me, threatening to consume everything I thought I knew about myself.
My core turned molten, and I kissed him back with an abandon I didn’t know I possessed.
God, the things he made me feel.
Terrifying things. Things that pushed every boundary I’d built, shifted my understanding of the world, changed the entire balance of my carefully constructed life. Feelings that would mark me permanently, long after we were done.
But how was I supposed to go back to Toronto and pretend none of this happened? How had I managed to make everything even more complicated than before?