Chapter Thirty-Two
Eric
I startled awake in the dark room, alone. The space where Jamie should’ve been, cold and empty.
Fuck. I’d fallen asleep again, leaving her to cope on her own.
But where the hell was she?
I slipped out of bed, intent on dragging her back to it, forcing her to rest no matter what it took.
Soft light spilled from a doorway down the hall. Jamie sat on the floor of her father’s room, surrounded by papers, clutching one document to her chest. Tears streamed down her face. Her hair was disheveled, eyes swollen, cheeks stained red.
Seeing her like that—broken and hurting—twisted something deep in my chest. I’d do anything to take away her pain, even if I could only ease it a little.
“Hey, beautiful girl. What’re you doing?”
Her eyes met mine, drowning me in heartbreak. “I don’t know.” Her voice was thick with sorrow.
I moved into the room, sweeping papers aside to make space beside her. Close enough to touch, to shelter her with my presence.
“What’ve you got there?” I nodded at the document still clutched in her hands.
She looked at it like she was seeing it for the first time. “It’s from my dad.”
She handed it over without explanation.
It was a business license for Hartley Home Renovations, the registered owners, both Frank and Jamison Hartley.
“Looks like you’re a business owner.”
“I didn’t even know he had his own company. He started it six years ago, and I had no idea.” Fresh tears fell. “He named me in it from the beginning. He was thinking about me, even back then, and I was busy pretending he didn’t exist.”
“Stop beating yourself up. It won’t help anything.”
I shuffled through more papers, which were mostly legal documents, including a will.
“From the look of this, he’s been organizing things for a long time.”
My words only made her cry harder.
“Jamie.” I gripped her chin, forcing her to look at me. “While he was doing this, you were raising your son. Your priorities were exactly where they should’ve been. Don’t ever doubt that.”
I traced my thumb down her cheek, following the trail of tears. One droplet clung to her lashes, threatening to fall. That single tear reminded me of her strength. Her ability to stand alone.
But she wasn’t alone. I wouldn’t let her be.
I cupped her jaw, and she leaned into my touch, seeking comfort.
“I’ll never be allowed to doubt myself as long as you’re around, will I?”
“Never.” I kissed her forehead softly.
She sighed, meeting my eyes. “I guess I can live with that.”
I didn’t want to read too much into her words. There were too many things left unsaid, any one of which could destroy the hope building inside me.
The hope that she’d stay.
After convincing her to leave the mess, I pulled Jamie back to the bed we’d been sharing.
It was too small for me, but I refused to complain when she draped herself over me, her head tucked under my chin. I’d sleep on concrete if it meant holding her like this.
Sleep tried to claim me, but I fought it. Jamie was still awake.
“What can I do to help you sleep, beautiful?”
“Nothing. I’ll fall asleep soon, I promise. I just can’t shut off my brain. Every time I start to drift, another thought hits.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“I don’t know. Life?”
A low laugh rumbled through my chest. “How specific.”
She groaned. “This is going to sound so selfish…but it’s been over twelve hours since I talked to Hunter. Last time I was away from him this long, I made myself sick with worry. This time feels different. Being away from him right now feels like a gift.”
“Doesn’t sound selfish at all.” I smoothed a hand over her back, savoring her silken skin.
“No? I bet Vanessa and her crew would judge me for it.”
“Maybe. But we’ve already established they’re assholes. Who cares what they’d think?”
“You’re right.” The tension in her shoulders eased. “And I know Hunter’s spending the time in a good way. Getting to know his father is important. Being around me when I’m this upset would be worse for him.”
“Can I make a confession?”
“Of course.” She lifted her head, and even in the darkness, her stare captivated me. “You’ve listened to enough of mine.”
“I really enjoyed spending time with Hunter. He’s great, Jamie. Truly. And I’d like to hang out with him again…if I didn’t mess up too badly with the foul language.”
She smiled, resting her chin on her hand. “That’s sweet.”
“That wasn’t my real confession.” I smirked. “I wanted you to know you’re not the only one enjoying private time. As happy as I was with your kid, I’m grateful for more time alone with you.”
A smile quirked the corners of her lips, and her eyes filled with heat. Her hand drifted up my chest, nails scoring lightly before gripping my shoulder.
“I don’t want to spend all our time sleeping.” She dipped her head, trailing kisses where her hand had been.
“You sure?”
She answered with a slow, sensual kiss. Despite the exhaustion, my body came alive under hers.
Sex couldn’t mend the pain, loss, or fear, but it could push them aside for a while. And if it’s what she wanted, what she needed, I was more than willing.
She reached for the condoms in the bedside drawer, her breast brushing my chest, thighs gripping me, her silky hair trailing over my skin.
I watched with fascination as she tore the packet with her teeth, then sheathed me with careful precision.
I’d never thought of safe sex as anything more than an act of necessity, but watching her anticipation build as her delicate hands worked the rubber down my hardened shaft, seeing the need reflected in her eyes as she gripped me tightly, knowing her own excitement was escalating as she prepared to take me…
suddenly safe sex was the most erotic thing I’d ever fucking witnessed.
We groaned in unison as our bodies joined, troubles falling away. Nothing had ever felt like being inside Jamie.
Nothing.
Fucking her was like a goddamn communion of our souls.
The ecstasy on her angelic face was more magnificent than any masterpiece.
My name on her lips, more melodic than any symphony.
When she came apart, pulling me right along with her, we found a place where only we existed.
Where all we needed was each other to make things right.
This was it. The moment I was lost.
Fuck. Caleb was right.
Why had I ever tried to deny it?
I was head over heels, completely, ridiculously, fairy-tale style, stupidly in love with Jamie.
It was pure insanity, but I loved her. Without a single doubt.
But her sigh turned to a whimper, and suddenly she was crying again.
“Beautiful girl, I’m sorry. Was it too much?”
“No. God, no.” She sobbed against my chest. “It was too perfect.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “Jamie, give me your mouth.”
She raised her head, connecting her mouth to mine without hesitation. I kissed her with everything I had—lips, tongue, heart, soul.
“It was fucking perfect,” I admitted when we parted.
Her sigh was content but tired. The tears had stopped, but tension remained.
“You need sleep.” I bit back the urge to make more ill-timed confessions.
“Right. Sleep. You’re tired too.” She inhaled sharply, body going rigid, fingers digging into my side. “Oh…tomorrow is Caleb’s transplant. You need to spend today with him. I’m so sorry—I almost forgot.”
“It’s fine. A few more hours sleep, and I’ll be good. I’ll head to the hospital this afternoon.”
“I want to be there tomorrow. Day Zero. I want to hold your hand while you wait, like you held mine.”
“Beautiful girl, nothing would make me happier. But that won’t be possible.”
Her face fell. “What? Why?”
“They don’t allow anyone in the operating room, and I’ll be too drugged to hold anyone’s hand.”
Confusion clouded her features. “I don’t understand. Why will you be drugged?”
“Because I hear it hurts like a son of a bitch to donate bone marrow. I plan to be well medicated.”
“What?” Disbelief replaced confusion. “You’re Caleb’s donor?”
“Yeah, beautiful girl, I am.”
“Oh my God, Eric. This is huge. Why didn’t you tell me?” The pain on her face hit me like a physical blow.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything. It’s not a big deal to me.”
“Are you insane? How is this not a big deal?”
“Because it was just dumb luck that I was a match. A fantastic stroke of luck, but still just luck. There was no question about me being the donor. Just like there would have been no question if it were Marc or Celeste who matched.”
I swallowed hard around the tightness in my throat. “Caleb needs this to live. I’m just lying on a table while doctors take some bone marrow. It’s the right thing to do. The only thing to do.”
I was aiming for sincerity, but the look in her eyes told me I’d fucked this up completely.
Hunter and Caleb were both right. I should’ve told her from the beginning. Should’ve trusted her with the truth instead of hiding behind my reluctance to make it seem bigger than it was.
Now I could see the hurt behind her glare, the suspicion I’d created with one omission.
Was it too late to tell her I loved her?
Would it matter now if I did?