12. Hannah
12
HANNAH
I had the feeling I was witnessing an event that had never happened before: Charming, glib, rodeo star Zack Hale stunned speechless. I didn’t mind. I’d had a whole night to think this through, so the least I could do was give him a few minutes. I calmly ate my grilled cheese sandwich, now lukewarm and a little rubbery, and waited for his brain to remember how to make words.
It took a moment, but he got there.
“I beg your fucking pardon?” he demanded.
I swallowed my food. “I think it’s the intimacy of sex I have a problem with. I have trouble staying in my body when someone else is…you know… also in my body. It feels like a threat. But with you, it’s…I don’t know. Not as bad.”
He gave me a slow, stunned blink. “ Not as bad ?”
I nodded. “Because we’re friends. But more importantly, I think it could get better. With everyone else, it only got worse. I think I could get used to you.”
“Get used to me…being inside you, you mean?” His eyebrows went up and his eyes did that crinkly thing they did when he was amused. “If you don’t quit sweet-talking me, duchess, I’m going to fall in love with you.”
He was teasing me. I knew that. What I didn’t know was whether his teasing meant he was trying to let me down easy. Maybe he didn’t want to teach me how to orgasm with him. That hadn’t occurred to me last night, with the words Heaven, Hannah. You feel like heaven ringing in my ears.
“I know it seems ridiculous, but I really think it could work,” I said. “The first time, I didn’t think I could do it with you in the room, watching me. But I did. And the next time, at your cabin…” I bit my lip, remembering. “It was easier.”
When I peeked up at him, I found him watching me intently.
“What if it doesn’t get easier?” he asked. “What if you don’t get there with me?”
I had actually considered that last night. In all honesty, it was a pretty likely scenario. “Don’t worry about that.”
“Duchess, you just asked me to teach you how to orgasm. I kind of have to worry about it. I don’t like to fail.”
I huffed. “You can’t possibly fail.”
“Why’s that?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t want to tell you. It will only feed this whole delusion you have about your magic dick.”
“Well, now you have to tell me. I’m a broken man, Hannah. My delusions are all I have left.”
He was doing that thing again, where he told the truth but made it sound like a joke. It made my chest hurt when he did that. It also made it impossible for me to do anything but give him what he wanted.
I glared at him. “You can’t fail because even if it doesn’t work, it’s still the best sex I ever had.”
He leaned forward, cupping his ear like he hadn’t heard me. “Come again?”
My glare was withering. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? See if you can make me come once before we worry about coming again.”
He burst out laughing. “Damn, duchess. Only you would proposition a man and insult him in the same breath.”
“So will you do it or not?” I asked.
“Will I have lots and lots of sex with the world’s most exasperating and beautiful librarian, with a goal to make you come as often as possible, but even if it doesn’t work out, provide you with the best sex of your life, courtesy of my magic dick?” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Yes, I believe I can oblige you, duchess.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you.”
“You know, that would look great embroidered on a pillow, if you’re ever in the mood to really thank me for my services.” He held up his hands as if holding an imaginary pillow between them. “Zack Hale’s magic dick gave me the best sex of my life.”
“I’m already regretting this.”
Under the table, his legs captured mine. His gaze turned heated. “No, you’re not.”
There was a promise in that look, of all the things he would do to me. I wanted those things. “No, I’m not,” I agreed.
He released my leg and leaned back, smiling. “You know, you looked so serious when I walked in here. I really thought you were going to give me bad news about Hurricane Red.”
“Hurricane Red!” My eyes widened as I remembered. “I do have news. Not bad news,” I added hastily when his face paled. Literally paled. Zack might honestly be the most sentimental man of my acquaintance. “Good news. Jeremiah found him. There’s an auction three hours west of here on Saturday. Four hundred and thirty-seven horses, most of them quarter horses from ranches and rodeos. Hurricane Red is number three hundred sixty-eight.”