7. Chapter Seven
Chapter seven
F ox stared up at the old house and felt the same rush of anxiety he always felt when he came back here. Memories flooded his mind, along with the dread, fear, and desperation he’d always felt when he was trapped in this house.
Melody put her hand over his on the steering wheel. “You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He turned and stared at her, knowing she meant those words. Because she had saved him from this place. From the torment.
She would never hurt him.
So why am I keeping a secret from her?
Because he didn’t want her to turn out to be like so many others who’d changed when they found out.
He wanted Melody to always be the girl he remembered, the woman she was right now in this car. The one who only cared about him.
She didn’t want anything from him. She just wanted to be with him.
Even for this trip back to the past, and the present that still sucked, but at least he wasn’t going to get a beating. Not today. Never again.
Because if his mother ever laid a hand on him again, he’d be out the door for good. And he knew she didn’t want that. Not now. Not when she needed him the most.
“Some days are good,” he explained. “Some are bad. She can be…cranky.”
“I’ve seen her be a royal bitch. She doesn’t scare me. I don’t care what she says, so long as she doesn’t hurt you.”
Fuck. This woman, she got to him so deep he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to take losing her again. “The one thing I can tell is that she’s trying to be on her best behavior when I’m here. We’re strangers who share a bloody past, and still don’t know how to talk to each other.”
“It must be really hard to want her to be the person you imagine she could be in your head if only she tried. Or cared to do it. It must be incredibly disappointing and frustrating that she won’t. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.”
No one had ever come close to understanding his complicated feelings about his mother and what it was like to be her son. “How do you understand that so clearly?”
“She taught me that lesson, same as you. When you’re ready, you’ll see her for who and what she really is and you’ll know it’s time to cut this anchor dragging you down.”
I’m not there yet.
“She’s dying. I can’t turn my back on her. It’s just not who I want to be.”
She put her hand on his thigh. “You’re a good man. If nothing else, you’ll know in your head and heart that you did everything you could to make this relationship work. It’s not you. It’s most definitely her.”
He laughed.
She eyed him. “You aren’t the problem, Fox. She is. There is nothing wrong with you, and everything is wrong about her. She should have loved and protected you. She didn’t. She only cared about herself.”
“He beat her, too, sometimes.”
Her lips pressed tight and anger filled her eyes. “The answer to that is not joining in when he beat you.”
Those words hit him right in the chest. He hooked his hand at the back of her neck and pulled her into another of the amazing kisses they shared. “So fucking fierce.”
“She is the abuser. You are the survivor. You should be smug when you walk in that door because you are a million times better than she will ever be. You have a life she could only dream of having because she’s done nothing but wallow in self-pity and rail at the world that she deserved more and everyone should give it to her for no fucking reason at all.”
Maybe it made him a little off, but he loved seeing her riled up on his behalf. She cared. For him, that mattered more than anything.
So fucking tell her the truth.
Still, he kept his secret. “Let’s go.” The sooner they got through this, the better. Plus, Melody had to be at work soon. That gave him an excuse to leave earlier than Tanya would expect.
She always tried to get him to stay as long as possible. She always complained about him living in town and not at her place. He simply couldn’t stand to be in that house. The memories overtook him. Especially the more she tried to get him to do what she wanted with that tone that came into her voice sometimes. He remembered it well from the past.
Tanya and this place were best taken in small doses.
He met Melody at the front of his car and halted before going to the porch steps. “You didn’t say anything about the car.”
“It’s awesome. What’s not to like about a cherry-red Mustang Mach 1?”
He grinned. So easy to do with her. “Do you remember the car?”
She raised a brow. “Should I?”
“You gave me one for my seventh birthday in second grade.”
She turned and stared at the car. “Seriously? You bought a life-size one because I gave you a Hot Wheels ?”
He grinned. “Yes.”
One side of her mouth drew back in a half grin. “You still have the toy, don’t you?”
His most prized possession. “Yes. You don’t give up the few gifts, or toys, you ever got. And they came from you. I kept all the memories and pieces of you I could.”
She turned into him. “Fox. I don’t know what to say to that. It’s sweet and sad and you’re so sentimental and adorable.” She kissed his cheek.
“All of my memories of you are good ones. When I drive that car, when I look at it, I think about you.”
She rose up on her toes, put her arms around him, and kissed him. The tenderness in it made his heart ache. Her soft lips, the feel of her body pressed along his, the way she made him feel alive and desired and special could send him to his knees. “Let’s make a lot more happy memories together.”
Those words held a world of promise, and he wanted to believe they had a future together more than anything.
He hadn’t only come back here to help his mom. He’d come back for Melody.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing bringing that girl here?”
Those words, that disgusted tone, the snap of anger in her words, made Fox’s back teeth grind and a million memories come to life inside his head of her taunting and ridiculing him in that tone.
He glanced over at Tanya and barked, “Watch it.”
Her eyes went wide for a second, then narrowed.
In that split second he realized she’d backed off for the first time ever. Why? Because he stood up to her? More likely because she wanted something from him.
That resourceful social worker had found more information on him than just where he worked and his contact information.
I hate that she knows my secret.
Tanya’s eyes didn’t soften, even if her voice did. “Why would you bring her here? She’s the reason they took you from us.”
“Really? Is that why Child Protective Services declared you unfit?” Melody glared daggers at Tanya.
Maybe this was a mistake.
He regretfully let Melody loose and turned to his mom. “Are you ready to talk about the past in a real way, or do you want to just keep living in an alternate universe where you’re the only victim?”
Tanya jolted as if she caught herself before saying something, then let out a breath. She kept her chin high, eyes on him. “What’s past is past. It can’t be changed. Your father, God rest his soul, isn’t here to defend himself.”
He had no idea how she could speak of his father that way.
There was no excuse for what he did. What they did.
“She’s putting it all on your dad,” Melody whispered.
Tanya always did. She wanted him to absolve her of her complicity and treat her only as a victim. She wanted his sympathy and compassion. He’d lost any hint of those things for her when she’d hit him, too.
He didn’t want to fight. It was pointless. She wouldn’t apologize or find a drop of remorse for what she’d done. So he changed the subject as he walked toward her. “Did you take your meds?”
“The morning ones. Still need to take the afternoon ones. That pill thing you got me helps.”
Yeah, he spent his Monday visits sorting her pills into three weekly containers so she knew what she’d taken in the morning, afternoon, and at night each day. Before, she’d had to figure out which ones to take once a day, twice, and three times. She got confused sometimes and couldn’t remember if she’d taken something with all the bottles lined up in front of her, so she’d accidentally take one more than once. Luckily, she didn’t have an adverse reaction, though he suspected there were times she took more pain meds than she was allowed each day. He couldn’t blame her. After the hysterectomy and having part of her bowel removed, she’d been in a lot of pain, barely able to get out of bed.
Now, though, she was mobile and doing better, though the cancer had spread to her liver and lungs.
The drugs and chemo were only extending her life expectancy at this point, turning months into maybe more than a year if she was lucky. Though she had also gotten into a clinical trial a few months ago. Time would tell on that front. Ask her, she’d never been lucky in her life.
Bitter. Annoyed at the world and everyone around her. One of those people who just sucks the energy out of a room and you.
“You should have taken the midday ones with lunch.”
“I was going to, but the pizza burned and set the toaster oven on fire.”
“How bad is it?” He rushed past her and into the house and to the back kitchen.
She followed at a much slower pace.
He shook his head at the blackened toaster oven. A tall glass sat beside it.
“I tossed a glass of water on it. No harm done. But I do need a new toaster oven. Maybe one of those air fryer things I’ve seen on TV.”
“I’ll get you one tomorrow. I’ll bring it with the groceries. Do you have a list for me?”
She pulled it off the fridge.
Melody stood behind them, watching everything.
He took the appliance and headed for the back door. “I’ll put this in the trash and move the cans out to the road.”
Melody knew the second the back door closed behind Fox, Tanya would pounce.
“You better stay away from my boy this time around. I won’t have you filling his head with things.”
As threats went, that one didn’t even trip a warning bell inside her. “What things are you afraid I’ll say to him? That you’re not worth his time and energy after what you did to him? Because I already told him that’s what I think. Hell, it’s what everyone thinks. But Fox, despite what you did to him, is a good man. He believes in doing the right thing.” She took a step toward Tanya and issued a warning the woman better believe was real. “So if you hurt him, if you make him regret helping you, you better watch your back, because I’ll be coming for you.”
“Don’t you go thinking you’re better than me when you’re standing in my house.”
“You know I’m better than you. So do us both a favor and treat him with every ounce of respect you can muster from your black soul, then I won’t have to come after you, and you’ll get to benefit from your son’s good heart.”
“What do you think you can do to me, little girl?”
Melody narrowed her gaze. “You’ve already done it for me. He sees right through you. You’re never going to change. You’ll never be sorry for what you did. It’s just a matter of time before he’s fed up with you and leaves.”
Tanya glared daggers. “Fuck you.”
So not a worthy opponent.
Melody didn’t back down. “He’s helping you even though he sees you’re just using him. How long before you revert to your old ways and push him away?”
The woman’s face turned deep red with rage.
“Careful. You should think about your health and what little time you have left.” Melody sucked in a calming breath and tried to do something for Fox. “Find a way to make amends to him. You owe him that much.”
“I’m his mother. I brought him into this world. Now he’s a big shot with his own company. I don’t owe him anything.”
“And that’s why you’ll lose him again. He doesn’t need you. He doesn’t need this.”
“So you know, too.”
That got her attention. “Know what?”
Tanya studied her, looked her right in the eye like she expected to see something, then let out a laugh. “You don’t know. He didn’t tell you.” She laughed again. “Maybe he doesn’t care about you the way you think.”
“We’ve just gotten started catching up. He’s told me plenty about his past and how he grew up. How my dad helped him all these years.”
Tanya’s gaze went wide.
Smug satisfaction shot through her. “You didn’t know that, did you?”
“No. All you Wildes are interfering assholes.”
“We’re so terrible for protecting an abused child. Oh, the shame we feel.” She rolled her eyes. “If not for us, Fox might be dead.”
“It wasn’t that bad.” Tanya snapped out her indignation.
“I’m sure you told yourself that over and over again those eight years Fox lived here with you and your bastard of a husband.”
Tanya pointed a finger at her. “You don’t know nothing about nothing.”
“I know what Fox sounds like when it hurts for him to breathe because his ribs are bruised, cracked, or broken. I know the anguish I felt every time I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but pain and desperation and resignation that nothing would change. You two would never stop. I know he sometimes hoped that it would end and that he knew that end would be his death. I know the look of hunger in his eyes because he didn’t get anything to eat all weekend and the desperation when he saw me Monday morning at school knowing I’d brought him food. I know what it’s like to feel his arms wrap around me and shudder with the relief and longing he felt to be held with love. I know that you never gave him that. I know you don’t deserve—”
“Melody, stop.” Fox stood in the doorway, his gaze locked on her. “Just stop.”
Tanya stepped closer to Fox. “The only thing I want is to spend time with my son. I need help. And he’s offered it. Without him, I don’t know what will happen to me. I need him.”
She was using him. Worse, she was playing on his sympathy with that soft, pleading voice she used to spout those words.
Melody wanted to grab Fox and haul him out of there as fast as possible. But Melody caught the slight shake of Fox’s head, telling her to leave it alone. She pressed her lips tight and kept her mouth shut.
“How about I make you something to eat, Tanya, before I have to get Melody to work.”
For Fox, Melody held her tongue, went to the fridge, and stared at the contents. “I can whip together a ham and cheese omelet if you’d like.” She turned and stared at Tanya’s narrowed gaze. “Or if you have some canned tomatoes or even spaghetti sauce, I could make you some bagel pizzas with the cheese in here and the ham.”
Fox’s gaze went from her to Tanya and back again.
“Why would you do that?” Suspicion lit Tanya’s eyes.
“Because I’d do anything for Fox. My mother taught me to cook. Me and all my siblings.” She didn’t miss the sharpening of Tanya’s glare that she’d mentioned her mother had seen to it that her kids knew some basic skills and the only thing she’d taught Fox was pain and hurt. “So what’ll it be?”
“The omelet I guess since I don’t have the toaster oven.”
“I can make the pizza bagel and pop it under the broiler.”
“Oven doesn’t work. Like a lot of things around here.”
Fox folded his arms over his chest. “I’ll get the toaster oven. You’ve got a new microwave. You said you didn’t want me to get a new oven because you don’t cook a lot.”
Tanya gave Fox a wan smile. “I was just letting her know it doesn’t work. That’s all. You’ve been so generous, I didn’t want to ask for too much, son.”
Fox flinched at the reminder that he was home with a mother who’d hurt him.
It wasn’t lost on her that he stood across the room from Tanya, his back to the door. The easiest and quickest exit.
He still saw his mom as a threat. Good. Maybe it would save him more heartache.