18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter eighteen
F ox stared over at Melody sleeping beside him, her head on the pillow, face turned toward him. One of her hands lay on his arm, the other tucked under the pillow. The sheet covered most of her, except for her bare shoulder and a tantalizing peek at the swell of her breasts.
Last night had been a disaster of a date in his book. What could have been romantic and fun had turned into an awkward threesome with enough tension and drama to try his patience. But Melody had handled it well. He’d held his tongue.
It wouldn’t happen again.
He hoped Amy had gotten the message loud and clear last night that he and Melody were a couple. He wasn’t interested in her. Not now. Not ever. Because Melody was his forever.
They just needed to figure out the logistics of that.
But Amy’s words came back to him from last night about how the people he mingled with and did business with in Boston wouldn’t accept Melody. She didn’t come from money. She didn’t attend an Ivy League school. She was from some dinky little town no one had ever heard of.
But so was he. And he fit in those circles. They needed him. And who cared about the snotty ones who thought they were better than everyone else? That only proved they weren’t better in his mind.
He believed Melody would find her place.
If nothing else, she’d always fit right by his side.
He brushed his fingers over her long hair. The swelling where her stitches had been put in had lessened. The cut didn’t look so angry and red anymore.
She was healing. And nothing had stopped her from making love last night, though he should have been more careful about her using her hurt hand to hold herself up. She hadn’t complained or asked to change positions, so he guessed she was okay. The bandage on her hand was pristine white, no blood, so she hadn’t torn anything.
Seeing her waiting for him in their bed…he got hard just thinking about it.
He needed to wake her so they could shower, dress, have some coffee and breakfast, and head to Tanya’s place.
He traced his finger along the side of her face and watched as her blue eyes fluttered open. “God you’re beautiful.”
Her eyes closed and a grin spread on her full lips.
He kissed her softly. “Time to wake up, sweet Dee. People to see. Things to do.” He trailed kisses down her neck as she shifted onto her back and he covered her warm, lush body. He got to her nipple, laved it with his tongue, then sucked it into his mouth as she moaned. He gave her other breast the same attention, then headed south, bringing the sheet down with him, baring her chest to his avid gaze. “Such a pretty view.”
She spread her legs wide to accommodate him between her thighs. “What are you doing?”
He kissed her right beneath her belly button. “What I promised. Showing you how much I appreciate you.” He kissed her mound, then licked her clit.
She rolled her hips up to meet his hungry mouth and he feasted on her. He put his hands on her thighs and spread her legs wider as he stared at her sex. “So pretty. So pink. So fucking delicious.” He dove in for more, sliding in one finger, then two as he licked and sucked her clit, taking her up and up and up until she crashed over the edge and came against his mouth as he hummed his satisfaction.
But he wasn’t done with her yet. As she lay pliant and blissed out on the bed, he pulled out a condom, sheathed himself, then nudged her entrance with the head of his dick. “You want me, sweet Dee?”
“Yes.” To prove it, she pushed into him as he thrust deep.
For a second he just stopped and savored the feel of being one with her again.
Heaven.
And then she rocked her hips against him as he withdrew and thrust back into her. Nothing felt better than this, with her.
Her inner walls clamped around him. His eyes rolled back as pleasure surged. He pulled out, then pumped back into her. Long slow glides of his body in and out of hers. The sounds she made…they were hot and needy and breathless. Demands for more. Appreciation for how good he made her feel. She made him feel amazing. So good that he quickly reached a fever pitch. But he wanted her to come with him, so he rubbed his thumb over her slick nub and slammed back into her, hard and deep, and she came as he emptied himself inside her.
Fucking feeling like a god, he caught himself on his forearms as he crashed down on top of her, his face in her neck, their breaths sawing in and out.
He was probably crushing her.
The grip she kept on his back told him she didn’t care.
He could stay here, in this bed, the two of them nestled close, all day.
Then he wouldn’t have to see Tanya, or Amy, or anyone else today.
Her fingers sank into his hair and rubbed over his scalp. “Do you want to tell me where you just went?”
He managed to rise enough to stare down at her. Her hair spread out in glorious waves; her kiss-swollen lips were red and soft. He thought about distracting her, but instead told her how he really felt. “I dread going to see Tanya. Every time. I thought it would get easier. It doesn’t. All it does is bring up all those old nightmares.”
“I get that. She hurt you. She allowed you to be hurt. And she’s not exactly warm and sweet to you now.”
No, she wasn’t. And somewhere deep inside him, he wished she were but knew she would never change. But that little kernel of hope still lived inside him, and he hated it, because when Tanya was Tanya, it disappointed him. And he kept coming back because he couldn’t turn his back on someone who needed him. “I want to have a relationship with her, but I’m not sure I can forgive what she did. Not when it doesn’t feel like she’s sorry. Not in a way that I believe she truly means it.”
“But you’re still hoping she’ll give you what you want and deserve.”
He nodded. “But I also know I’m not going to get it. Because she’s not like me. Or I’m not like her. And I guess that’s a good thing. But it also sucks because I care and she doesn’t. Not in a way that makes her want to know me. Not in the sense that it’s about me being her son and that matters.”
She cupped his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it hurts. But you matter to me. And I know it’s not the same as having your mother love you the way you deserve to be loved, but you’re not alone. I care. I’m here. I will always be here.”
He brushed his nose against hers and kissed her softly. “You’re everything I ever wanted.”
She smiled softly. “Maybe instead of wishing her to be something she isn’t, accept that you have this chance to help someone who needs it. Let that be enough to soothe your soul. You—despite her and your father—have a kinder, gentler, more loving heart.” She kissed one cheek, then the other, then stared at him again. “They didn’t make you into them. You survived. Even better, you reached even greater heights than you probably would have if you’d stayed with them. You’re happy. She’s not, because she’s alone.” She brushed her hand over his hair, soothing him even more. “Well, she has you. You’re the best thing to ever happen to her. She’s lucky you give her the time of day.”
She floored him.
“How do you put everything into perspective like that?”
“Because I’m on the outside looking in. It’s okay that the broken child in you wishes for that love and healing, so long as the grownup you realizes she’s not capable of giving it to you.” She put her hand over his heart. “Protect that little boy from being hurt again, Fox. Because if you let her, she’ll do it again.”
“Maybe I can’t fix the past, but you and I can have a different kind of future. Right?”
She swept her hand from his chest up to his jaw. “We’re making it right now. You aren’t like them. I’m not her. We care about each other too much to hurt each other.”
He leaned into her hand. “I know you’d never hurt me.”
“I know the same about you. So why are you worried?”
Because I’m keeping something from you.
He should tell her.
But the moment passed.
She raised her head and kissed his lips with a smack. “Relax. Everything is good. I’ll be there with you today.”
He wanted her with him every day.
All he had to do was be patient and let it happen. But it was hard when he wanted something this much.