27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter twenty-seven
F ox walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. The TV was on, though the sound was muffled through the door. After a half minute with no answer, he pounded the side of his fist on the wood again.
Nothing.
He pounded again and called out, “Tanya. Open up. It’s Fox.”
She had to be here. Her car was in the driveway. She hadn’t driven it in weeks.
Nervous butterflies fluttered in his tense belly.
He tried the knob and found it unlocked. Of course. Out here, neighbors were too far away to hear anything, let alone come knocking unannounced. Tanya didn’t have any close friends, so…
The second he stepped inside, he scanned the living room on the right, then past the dining room to the left and back to the kitchen.
Tanya was on the phone, her back to him. “It needs to be soon. We’re running out of time.” She held the phone in front of her and stabbed her finger into it to end the call, then turned to him. “Fox. What a surprise.”
Really? “You knew I was coming.”
“I only meant you’re early.”
“Like five minutes.” He raised a brow, noting the flush in her cheeks and the way she couldn’t quite look at him. “What was that all about?”
“What?” she asked, like she didn’t know he’d overheard the end of her conversation.
“You said on the phone that you’re running out of time. For what? Did the doctor say something about your condition?”
She shook her head, then caught herself. “Yes, actually.” The contradiction of her gesture with her words didn’t slide past him. “As you know, my health has been holding steady with the meds, and of course, the better nutrition, since you’ve been bringing such healthy foods to eat.”
He held up the bag of groceries he’d picked up for her. “I brought you more of the minestrone soup you like, plus some oranges, blackberries, strawberries, and blueberries. You can use the new blender I got you to make a smoothie if you’d rather drink them than eat them.”
“I like that little thing.”
“You can hide the raw spinach I got you the other day in the smoothie, too. The more vitamins and minerals you get, the easier it is for your body to stay strong and fight.”
Her face softened. “You’re always taking such good care of me.”
“Well, you look and seem fine, so what’s with the thing about you running out of time?”
She waved it off. “I’m just worried that I won’t have enough time to do the things I want to do before…you know…the end.”
“I think we all feel that way sometimes. But I get that for you it’s hard to face the fact that you know the end is near.”
“It makes you think about what’s most important.” She glanced past him. “You’re actually here alone today.”
Since he and Melody arrived home from their trip to Boston two weeks ago, they’d made it a point to spend as much time together as possible. But this week she was teaching her class. “Melody is working at the center this week. I told you that on Monday and yesterday and now today.” He cocked his head. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a bit off.”
She took a seat at the kitchen table.
He stood with his back to the counter. “Talk to me,” he pleaded, worried.
“You’re planning on going back to Boston.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “For me, that’s home.”
She pressed her lips tight. “She’s going with you.”
“That’s the plan.”
“And you’re opening a bar together.”
“She’s opening the bar. I’m financing it.” They’d told her all of this already.
Her gaze narrowed. “She’s using you.”
He shook his head. “She wanted to cancel the whole damn thing when she found out how much the liquor license was going to cost.” Half a million dollars. What a fucking rip-off. But Boston only had so many licenses and a waiting list that could take years before your name came up for one. On the secondary market, owners of licenses could ask for whatever price they wanted. And people still bought them. He would be one of those people, because not only did the space he wanted for Melody come with the best location so they could see each other, as well as all the amenities Melody wanted for the restaurant and bar, but it came with a liquor license.
All he had to do was buy the whole damn place.
Melody balked at the idea. It was too much money. She’d never be able to pay it back. He got her point. Most restaurateurs backed out of opening in Boston for that very reason. A lot of places shut down because they couldn’t make the place profitable.
Fox didn’t care. He’d give her what she wanted, no matter the cost.
But he did give Dean and Max an out, letting them know that maybe it wasn’t such a good investment.
They both stared at each other, then him, and said, “Fuck it. It’s family.”
They’d own the property outright. That alone would be a sound investment. So all Melody had to do was make the business profitable and they’d all be happy.
It took all three of them to convince her they meant it.
And then she cried, overwhelmed by their generosity and faith in her.
He wasn’t about to tell Tanya all that. She didn’t need to know.
“Melody is good at what she does. She has a vision for the space we found. She knows how to sell a good time to her customers. She’s got an idea for a place that’s different than other bars in Boston. People will love it.” And if not, Melody would find something else that made her happy.
Tanya didn’t relent with her disapproving glare. “She’s good at using you.”
“How is she using me? She was looking for a job. I offered her a place of her own.”
“She put the idea into your head.”
He sighed. “No. She didn’t. In fact, she was adamant about not wanting to take our money until my friends and I convinced her to let us partner with her.”
Tanya gave him a See? She got what she wanted and you think you gave it to her look.
He rolled his eyes. “Do you want to know why I’m here?”
She folded her arms over her chest, matching his pose. “Why?”
“To tell you that I thought about what you asked for.”
Her arms fell down to her sides as she sat up straight. “The cruise?”
“Yes. If you want to go, I’ll buy you the ticket and get you a nurse to go with you, so long as you agree to continue your treatment plan. I’ll even throw in some spending money.” A couple grand should hold her over for the forty-five-day trip.
She raised a brow, suspicion in her eyes. “What changed your mind?”
“If this is what you truly want and it will make you happy…” He shrugged. He was never going to have the kind of talk he hoped they’d have. He’d given up on that. He was tired of waiting for something that was never going to happen.
Tanya didn’t have it in her. So he was letting her go on her trip to live out her last days in the sunshine, seeing new places and experiencing new things.
But Melody…she loved with her whole heart. She’d stepped into their relationship with every bit of her being, with the intention of making a life with him.
This thing he was doing with Tanya…it was a waste of time. He felt bad about thinking of it that way, but that’s what it was. His desire to do something good felt more like an obligation he had taken on but wasn’t his responsibility.
Blood didn’t make them family.
She’d broken their bond when she hurt and abandoned him.
So this was his way of severing it this time, but in a kinder, gentler, distancing sort of way. Bon voyage! I’m going home to be with the woman I love where we’ll be happy.
“So that’s it. You send me away, so you can be with her and go back to your fancy life in the big city where you’re the big shot at work.”
Now she’s complaining that she got her way. “What did you expect?”
“That you wouldn’t be like me.”
“I’m nothing like you. I’m certainly not him. I’m a better man because of her.” In so many ways. Because she saved me. Because she loves me. Because I want to be everything she needs and more.
Because the only people who truly mattered were the ones who had your back.
He didn’t need Tanya’s apology or approval or admiration. Not even her consideration.
He was better off letting this go.
Tanya pouted. “She’s taking you away from me again.”
“No. It wasn’t true then, and it’s not now. You want to see something of the world before you die, I’m making that happen.”
“So you can be with her.”
“I made the trip here to try to forge some kind of relationship with you. There’s too much history and not enough intention on either of our parts to turn this into something more than what it is. I hoped for more.” He’d set his expectations too high.
“I deserve more than you’re giving her,” she snapped, fury in her eyes. “I’m your mother.”
He scoffed at that, unfolded his arms, and stood tall, his own anger building. “You’re the one who wants to leave the past buried. But if you want to dig it up and talk about what you deserve, I’m happy to grab a shovel and expose all the shit you put me through, so we can talk about how I deserved better.”
“You did. I agree. But maybe consider what a shit life we would have had if I’d taken you and tried to raise you on my own.”
“At least that I could have respected, even if we’d been poor.”
“Poor! We’d have ended up in a shelter or worse, living on the street.”
“And yet, you’ve somehow managed to keep this roof over your head. Why haven’t you sold this place and moved on to greener pastures?”
“Because that good-for-nothing asshole of a father of yours owned it before we got married and left it to you!” She practically screamed at him now.
It brought back so many memories of the past of her shouting like that at his father.
He stood there, staring at her, completely at a loss for words. He had no idea his father had left him this place. “Why wasn’t I told when he passed?”
She put her hand over her mouth and glared, though he caught a hint of regret that she’d let those words slip.
He glared at her. “You made sure I didn’t find out. Didn’t you?”
“I thought you’d kick me out, sell this place for what it was worth. Then where would I be? I paid off the lawyer fees and taxes on this place, the upkeep. It’s mine. I earned it. What the hell did you ever do, except piss him off and make him come after me?”
Those words slammed into him like a blow. “You blame me for that? Take a look in the mirror. Better yet, maybe you’ll find the answer in the bottom of a bottle. That’s how so many of those fights started. You and him drinking yourself into a stupor only to come up fighting and looking for a target. Me.”
“Boo hoo. You think you had a bad childhood? Who didn’t? My father was just as bad as yours.”
“So instead of picking a better partner, you fell for a man just like Daddy, then instead of protecting your child like you probably wished someone would have protected you, you take out all your anger toward them on me, perpetuating the cycle. Way to go! You became the monster you hated.”
She leaned in with a nasty look in her eyes. “Let’s see how well you do when you have kids.”
“I will never…ever…lay a hand on them in anger. There will be hugs and kisses and affection and laughter. My kids will be happy.” Like Melody was with her family. He’d wanted her family to be his when they were kids. Now they could have that together. “My kids will never know what it’s like to cower and fear me. They will never feel indifference from me. They will know that I would do anything for them. Same goes for Melody.”
“She gets that freely, but not me.”
“She didn’t break my trust.”
“She got you taken away from the only home you’d ever known.”
“And thank god for that because otherwise I’d be dead.” He took a step toward her. “Don’t tell me you don’t know that, because I know you do. You beat me, then you kicked me out into the cold. You kicked me so hard that I was bleeding internally. Another hour in the cold and I’d have been dead. Dead! So fuck you! You’re damn right you don’t get my love and respect and admiration and loyalty the way she does.”
Tanya stood and raised her hands, seeming to catch herself and what the consequences of his fury could mean for her. Because he was ready to walk out the door and never come back.
“Okay, Fox. Calm down.”
That just made him angrier. “I’ll calm down when you finally get it.”
“Oh, I get it. I know just how you feel.”
“If you do, that only makes what you did and this argument worse. It means you wanted me to feel this way to punish me for what happened to you.”
“Maybe that is why I did it. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see it. But I do see it now. And I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t take away the pain. It’s just some words. At least that’s how I always felt when my father came at me, begging me to forgive as he blamed the booze, a bad day at work, some slight he thought I’d made. And I hope you are better than me, than him, than your father. But none of that changes the fact that I’m your mother. And all I want is a chance to have something good in my life before it’s over.”
“Always looking out for yourself.”
“No one else ever looked out for me,” she snapped, then her eyes softened again. “If she does that for you, well then…”
Yeah. No kind words for Melody. Just a partial acknowledgement that she did something good for him.
Probably the best he’d ever get. Crumbs when I want a whole fucking apology sandwich with a side of remorse and understanding.
How about a little support from her? What about… If she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you? Nope.
Everything was about Tanya. So he’d give her what she wanted and be done with it. “I’ll put the house up for sale while you’re on your trip. When you get back, you can use the money to stay in an assisted living place or hospice depending on your needs.”
“Don’t you want the house?”
“Why the fuck would I want this nightmare when I have a whole other life in Boston?”
“I just always thought…this is where I’d die.”
“Why? You certainly didn’t live here.”
Her head tilted. “Why are you being like this?”
“Because I don’t want to be here anymore, doing this. I want to be in Boston, taking care of my business and moving Melody into our home. I want to wake up happy and kissing her, and go to bed each night the same way. I want the past to be the past and the future to be the dream we share.”
Tanya frowned. “And I’m not part of that.”
“You’ve made it clear how you feel about her. And me. I’m just a means to an end.”
She shook her head. “That’s not true.”
“Whether it is or not, that’s how you make me feel. So take your trip. Have fun. Send pictures. I’d like to know you’re okay and the time away is doing you good.” She only had a few months left. He hoped she found some happiness and joy while away. “Other than that, I really have nothing else to say, except take care of yourself.”
“I will, so long as you make sure I have the money to do so.”
“Like I said, I’ll sell the house and the money is yours.”
Time spun out for a long minute.
“Thank you, Fox.”
And on that note, he turned and left the house, wishing it was the last time he had to return, but knowing it wasn’t. He’d get her on that ship first, then make sure she had a place to go when she returned. That would satisfy his conscience.
As for his heart…it belonged to one dark-haired, blue-eyed beauty who should be about done with her class and ready for their lunch date before she headed to the bar tonight.