9. Chapter Nine
Chapter nine
A ria pulled her phone out of her back pocket and checked the text alert. Nick. Again. This was the fourth one today.
NICK: I know you’re at work. Just wanted to say goodnight. It’s been a long, but really good, day. It would be even better if I got to talk to you.
How did he do this? Make her heart melt and miss him even more. Of course that was his goal. And it was working.
NICK: You know you can call me anytime. Day or night. Now works.
She was about to put her phone back in her pocket when it chimed again.
NICK: Ok. Fine. I wish I could kiss you goodnight. One day soon, I’ll be able to do it all the time.
NICK: I can’t wait for that day.
NICK: Goodnight, my love. I’ll be dreaming of you.
What? My love? Dreaming of me?
That was kind of cheesy, but also romantic. He was trying really hard to get her attention.
He had it.
Nick had never said he loved her. Not once. Maybe if he had, she’d have given him more time.
No. That would only have strung things along, until it was even harder to leave him. He’d sent her that message about him possibly moving here, but he hadn’t said anything about them taking the next step, like moving in together, getting married, or having a family.
He wanted to see her more. Great. But what did that really mean?
If you answered his calls or texts, maybe you’d find out.
Why hasn’t he said what he wants? Besides me.
She’d made her needs clear.
He’s really trying.
Yeah, now. But what about a month from now?
Great. She was back to arguing with herself.
She checked the time. Still three hours to closing. Then she’d walk upstairs to the tiny apartment she moved into after Lyric moved into a house with Mason. She’d sleep alone. Again. God she missed him.
And she did appreciate that he was sending her all these messages. At least once a day he left her a voicemail. And more often than not she got a text, too. Some days it was multiples of both, like today.
She’d learned more about what he did on the job over the last six days, since they broke up, than she had dating him for months. She liked the little glimpses into his world. She loved that he opened up in his voicemails, telling her he missed her. Hearing it in his voice was so much better than via text. And she guessed that’s why he called every day, to remind her of how he sounded and how honest his words were when he spoke to her.
Needing to distract herself, she turned back to the bar patrons to see who needed another round and found Mason on the other side of the bar staring at her. “Was that him?”
She stuffed her phone in her pocket. “What can I get you?” she asked instead of answering his loaded question.
Mason leaned in closer. “He misses you. He wants to be with you. He loves you.”
She pressed her lips tight. Mason found it so easy to tell her that, yet his own brother had never said those last three words. “I appreciate that you like the idea of me and your brother together.”
“You’re perfect for each other. I’ve seen it. Everyone sees it. I know this breakup isn’t what you really want.”
“I told him what I want. I made it perfectly clear what I can and can’t do. And that’s carrying on a relationship going nowhere, no matter how great we are together, no matter how much…” She choked up, tears gathering in her eyes. Apparently she couldn’t say those three little words out loud either.
Mason rushed around the bar and took her in his arms. It felt almost like being in Nick’s, though Mason was an inch taller and much bulkier than his older brother. He held her like a sister and not the love of his life. As it should be. But it also made it oh so clear that he wasn’t Nick. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“What’s going on?” Lyric came up behind her husband.
Mason gently set her away from him. “I was just talking to Aria about Nick.”
Lyric took Mason’s place hugging her.
“I’m sorry.” Aria wiped away tears.
Mason shook his head. “It’s my fault. Nick told me not to say anything.”
Aria pulled away from her sister and stared at Mason’s guilty-looking face. “Not to say anything about what?”
Lyric glared at her husband, though she wasn’t ever really mad at him. “I told you to just wait and see.”
“See what?” Aria asked, understanding that they knew something about Nick that she didn’t. “Is he okay? Did something happen to him?” That was her worst fear. Something happening to him on the job. Where he carried a gun. Where he might have to use it. Where bad guys could be shooting at him—just like last week.
She broke out into a cold sweat just thinking about it.
“He’s fine,” Mason assured her. “He just wants you back so badly, he’ll do anything to make it happen.”
“As much as I appreciate the calls and texts, that’s not enough to make a relationship work long-distance. We both have our jobs and our obligations.” Nothing had really changed.
“Yeah, well, his have changed,” Mason said under his breath, like he didn’t want her to hear, but clearly he did because he said it from two feet away from her.
“What does that mean?” She glanced from him to her sister, hoping Lyric would clear things up.
Lyric shot Mason another glare, then turned her full attention on Aria. “Nick loves you. You know that, right?”
“Everyone keeps telling me that, except for him. So no. I don’t know that he loves me. I do know that when I ended things, he said he wanted to fix it, but he had a helicopter to catch and a meeting that couldn’t wait. Over the last six days, I get the calls and texts I wanted while we were dating, but really, how long is that going to last before he’s too busy to remember that I exist?”
“It was never like that,” Mason tried to defend his brother.
“I know. I’m being unfair. I get it. His job is important. Lives are on the line. I know. They need him.” She choked up for the second time and rushed away before everyone saw her crying again. She made it all the way to the office and grabbed a wad of tissues before Lyric walked in behind her and closed the office door.
Lyric planted both hands on the desk and leaned forward. “Do you want to move to Montana to be with him?”
She raised a brow. “And leave the bar in Jax’s hands while you and Layla have babies and your priorities shift.”
Lyric stood back to her full height and stared back at her, completely serious. “If that’s what will make you happy.”
She rolled her eyes. Things weren’t that simple. People depended on her. “I won’t be happy leaving my family high and dry for a guy who hasn’t even asked me to come up with a compromise that works for both of us. Instead, he left.” And it still hurt.
“Not because he wanted to.”
He never wanted to leave. She appreciated that, but it didn’t stop him from leaving.
She didn’t want to break things off, but it was the best course to save them both more heartache down the road.
“He’s trying to show you that he wants to work this out.”
“Lyric, what I want is what I see you and Jax and Melody have with your partners. There’s so much love between you. I thought by now I’d be married with at least one little one. Instead, I’m watching you all marry and start families. My life feels so empty. I have the bar and you guys but otherwise, I’m alone. Waiting for him to show up when he could took everything out of me. The loneliness got so bad, I just couldn’t find the joy in anything anymore. Every day just got harder and harder to get through.”
Sympathy filled Lyric’s eyes. Or was that pity? She hoped it wasn’t that.
“What if you could have him back?”
Aria would love that but couldn’t get her hopes up. “He said he was going to move here, but I don’t see that happening. He’d have to quit his job. I wouldn’t want that. He loves it. He’s amazing at it. It’s who he is as much as what he does. I understand that. This bar is as much a part of me as our family is. It’s a piece of us. I love it here. I love being so close to all of you and seeing your lives change. I can’t wait to be an aunt. I want to be here to see first steps and first birthdays and all the big and little things between and beyond.”
Lyric didn’t back down. “Is he the one?”
“I wanted him to be. You saw us. The second we met, something just clicked.”
Lyric leaned in close, their eyes locked. “He loves you. I know it like I know Mason loves me.”
Aria sighed and pulled out her phone. “Go home with your hunky husband. I’ve got a call to make.”
Lyric’s smile lit up the room. “I knew you loved him, too.”
Yeah, maybe she should have told him that before she broke things off. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe not.
Lyric hugged her, then rushed out of the office door, closing it behind her and muffling the ruckus and music coming from the bar.
Aria hit the speed dial for Nick and listened to it ring. And ring. And ring, knowing he wasn’t going to pick up.
“Leave a message.” Short and sweet. But that voice was everything to her right now.
“Hey, Nick, it’s me. You don’t have to call me back. I need to get back behind the bar, and I’ll probably miss the call anyway. I just wanted to say that I appreciate the calls and the texts and…yeah, I get it a little better now that you’ve opened this door to your world. And strangely, I feel a little closer to you, even though we’re still so far apart. I hope you have sweet dreams tonight.”
She hung up and stuffed the phone back in her pocket, took in a cleansing breath, and hoped she didn’t regret leaving that message and the door open for her and Nick to get back together. She’d been disappointed too many times in the past. She couldn’t take another six months of unfulfilled promises. She was tired of waiting for what she wanted.
But still, what did it really matter, because she didn’t have the partner she wanted, so she couldn’t fulfill her dreams of a family. Everything else in her life worked. Why couldn’t she achieve this one thing?
She walked back into the chaos and noise and jumped right into things behind the bar. She got lost in filling orders and chatting up the customers, making sure everyone was having a good time. That was her job.
When the call came in, she couldn’t help answering it, despite the noise and everyone singing along to Old Dominion’s “I Was on a Boat That Day.”
“Hello,” she shouted, though he could probably hear her fine.
“Hey,” he shouted back. “I was in the shower when you called.”
Yeah, that sparked a really sexy fantasy and sent a wave of heat straight to her core.
“It made me so damn happy to see your number on my phone and to hear your voice. And I know you won’t be going to bed anytime soon, but I wanted to say goodnight. I miss you. And I swear we will be together again soon.” She could barely hear him, but his words sounded really sweet to her.
“Nick.” She sighed out his name, hoping he understood everything it meant.
“I know. Me, too. I hate all the time we miss. I’m working on getting back to you. And I hope you’ll be waiting when I do.”
“I can’t seem to help but spend every second of every day waiting for you.”
“I feel like I should say I’m sorry, but I can’t because that actually makes me really happy. I wish I could give you a specific day that I’ll be there, but I’ve got a potential way to keep my job and be with you, plus a really important case. One I can’t leave undone.”
“I know.” Because she knew him. He didn’t leave things for others to do.
“Then know that I can’t wait to see you. And when I do, I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you, you’ll know you’re mine and I’m yours and nothing will ever tear us apart.”
Her heart melted at his words and how much he meant them. “I wish you were here,” she whispered, knowing the sound of the crowd and music probably drowned out her words.
“I wish I was there. I don’t feel whole when I’m away from you.” He’d never been so open about his feelings.
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes. And if I was with you, I’d say what I really want to say but don’t want to do over the phone. I should have said it that day we were together. I hope you felt it, the way I feel it every time you look at me, or touch me. It’s in your words, on your face, the warmth of your touch. I know it. And if I haven’t shown you enough, then I’m sorry. I won’t make that mistake again. I promise.” He loved her.
And she loved him. “I just want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you. More than anything. Which is why I talked to my boss and why things are going to change. I just need a little more time.” He really did want to be with her.
Her smile hurt her cheeks it was so big. “You know where to find me.”
“Yes, I do. And I’m coming for you. You can count on it.” The intent behind those words made her heart soar.
She believed him.
But her practical side said a lot could happen between now and whenever he decided to come. He could get another case he couldn’t pass up. He could change his mind. He could get hurt on the job.
No. She didn’t want to think about that. It was the one thing that scared her about his job.
Nick broke into her thoughts. “I hope to be there right after your trip to Boston.”
How did he know about that? Mason, of course.
“Well, then I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”
“When you do, I’ll tell you that thing I want to tell you.”
She ended the call with a smile, hoping beyond hope that everything would come together and they’d finally get a chance to see if their relationship could go the distance when they were together all the time.