Chapter Two – Levi
Levi
I pulled up and parked outside the familiar barn I’d been to a thousand times.
River Falls Cattle Company was a cattle and horse ranch that my best friend, Caden Wilde, managed alongside his brother, Gatlin, and his two uncles, David and Mike.
A ranch that had been in his family for five generations, with Caden and his brother being the fifth.
The equine side of the ranch was the newest addition, and was something that Caden’s mother had started after her love of horses grew when she married, Ladd, Caden’s father.
Drawing in a deep breath, I slowly let it out. I haven’t been back to River Falls much in the last seven years. Now, I’d returned with my six-year-old son…and without my two-year-old daughter or my wife. I was back home trying to start a new life.
Caden, my best friend since elementary school, pulled up and parked next to me. He got out of the truck, a wide grin appearing on his face when he saw me. I opened the truck door and slipped out. As I made my way to him, he stuck out his hand.
“Fuck that,” I said, pulling him in for a quick hug, hitting him on the back before taking a step away.
“Damn, it’s good to see you in River Falls,” Caden stated as he gave me a once-over. “Thanks for the last-minute notification that you moved back. What was that all about?”
I shrugged. “Didn’t want to make a production out of it. We’ve been back for a few days. I wanted to get Rhett settled in before I made my presence known. Caroline’s parents are happy, of course, to have Rhett so close. But with the divorce and all, it feels…strange.”
He nodded. “I get that. How’s Rhett adjusting to life here in River Falls?”
Smiling, I replied, “Rhett’s in heaven knowing he can ride a horse anytime he wants. My mother’s already spoiling him, and Dad…well, he’s ready to announce that his son will be joining his veterinary practice. I’ve had to ask him to slow down a bit and let us get adjusted to being here.”
Caden grinned. “I’m sure Rhett’s going to be spoiled rotten by both your parents. That’s something you’re going to have to get used to. They have six years of spoiling to catch up on.” Then his smile faded, and a concerned expression grew across his face. “How are you doing, Levi?”
It was a loaded question, with an answer that evoked a range of emotions.
Seven months ago, my two-year-old daughter, Brooke, was killed in a car accident.
Caroline and I had gotten into yet another fight, and she’d threatened to take Brooke away from me.
When I told her to try, she grabbed our daughter and took off.
An hour later, I got a call that she’d been in an accident.
When I got to the hospital, a doctor gave me the news that my daughter had been killed instantly, and Caroline had broken her left leg and hand.
Nothing in my life was the same after that. The accident hadn’t been Caroline’s fault, but she’d blamed me for causing her to take Brooke and leave the house. She withdrew into herself, stayed in bed for days at a time, and essentially ignored our son.
Our marriage hadn’t been on a solid foundation when the accident happened, and it crumbled completely not long afterward.
In the end, it wasn’t hard for me to decide to file for divorce and ask the court for full custody of Rhett.
Caroline hadn’t argued; she’d already moved out of the house and into an apartment.
Sadly, Rhett not only lost his sister, but his mother as well.
“I’m doing the best I can. Trying to be there for Rhett and make life as normal as possible.”
Caden nodded. “Is he still having nightmares?”
I nodded.
“Hopefully, the new surroundings will be good for him and for you.”
“Yeah,” I said, hearing the sadness in my own voice.
We hadn’t returned to River Falls very often over the years because Caroline couldn’t stand the small town.
When we visited, it was only for a weekend, and I hardly had time to see anyone.
My mother and father visited Denver as much as they could, but with my dad being the only veterinarian in town, it was hard for him to take time off without feeling guilty if he couldn’t find someone to cover for him.
Caroline’s parents had visited often, so at least that was good for Rhett.
Caden cleared his throat. “Have you heard from Caroline at all?”
Caroline had been served divorce papers three weeks ago, and I was still waiting for her to sign and return them.
“I can’t remember the last time I spoke to her.
Once she signed over custody to me, and the judge granted it, she stopped all communication.
It was harder on Rhett than on me. He doesn’t understand why Caroline left us.
He overheard us arguing one night, and Caroline saying it was my fault that Brooke died.
That was hard for Rhett to hear, and he came running into the room, calling her a liar.
Yelling that it was her fault because she forced Brooke to go with her. ”
“Forced?”
I nodded. “Brooke didn’t want to go with Caroline that night, and she was crying, and repeating my name over and over.
Rhett watched the whole thing.” I closed my eyes and drew in a breath before looking at Caden again.
“She was screaming for me when Caroline walked out. The sound of her calling out ‘daddy’ haunts me every night. I should have taken her from Caroline. Better yet, I should have admitted the marriage had long since been over and left with the kids.”
Caden shook his head as he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Levi, it wasn’t your fault.”
“A part of me knows that. But another part of me can’t seem to let it go.
I blame myself for letting Caroline take Brooke.
I guess I figured she would blow off some steam, go for a drive, and calm down.
I should’ve known better. Caroline wasn’t the best mother, Caden.
I hate saying that, but it’s the truth. She cared more about herself than our kids.
And the bad part is, now Rhett is old enough to understand that for himself.
But still way too young to have to deal with this. ”
“Have you thought about therapy?” Caden asked.
“He’s gone a few times, and I think it has helped him some. He misses his sister, I think, more than his mother. It’s sad for me to even say that, but there it is.”
Caden sighed. “We sure know how to pick ’em, don’t we?”
I let out a humorless laugh. Caden had been dating his high school sweetheart, Rachel, since their freshman year.
Caden and I were like brothers and spoke almost every day, so when they broke up, I was the first person he spoke to about it.
When she eventually realized she wasn’t going to have the wealthy lifestyle she thought she deserved, she broke things off—but didn’t bother to do it until Caden was down on one knee, asking her to marry him.
Ever since then, Caden had been withdrawn.
He hardly ever went out, just stayed on the ranch.
And as far as I knew, he hadn’t dated since Rachel left him.
“Are you dating anyone?” I asked.
He’d motioned for us to start heading into the barn. He glanced at me with a blank look. “I have no interest in dating anyone.”
“Caden, it’s been almost what? Two years since she left you? When are you going to move on?”
He shrugged. “I have no desire to go through that again.”
“Just because you and I have had bad experiences doesn’t mean that all women are that way.”
Caden stopped walking and turned to me. “Would you have married Caroline if she hadn’t been pregnant?”
No one had ever asked me that question, but I knew plenty of people had wanted to over the years. My parents topping the list.
I pushed a hand through my hair and looked down the aisle of the barn. The smell of horse manure and hay filled my nostrils. I wanted to close my eyes and take it in. Instead, I focused on my best friend again. The guy I’d told everything to my entire life.
I let out a breath and shook my head. “No, I wouldn’t have. Truth be told, we probably would have broken up eventually. We were just two different people who wanted two different things in life when it came down to it.”
“You told me that night you got wasted, when you found out Caroline was pregnant, that you were positive she got pregnant on purpose. How did you know?”
My hand rubbed at the back of my neck as I looked into his eyes. “We were starting to grow apart, and she got paranoid that I was cheating on her at school. She later told me she panicked and stopped taking her birth control pills. Said it was the only way she could make sure we stayed together.”
“She told you she got pregnant on purpose?”
I nodded. “Yeah, after Rhett was born. Claimed she wanted to come clean about it and start fresh. I did love her, don’t get me wrong.
Would I have asked her to marry without the pregnancy?
” I shrugged. “I don’t think so, Caden. I really don’t, even though we had a lot of good times.
And we weren’t planning on having any more kids.
Brooke was a happy accident. Then things changed between us, but I didn’t think it was anything any other couple might experience.
Until we started fighting all the time. I asked her for a divorce the day she got into the car accident. That’s what we were fighting about.”
“Jesus. I’m sorry, Levi.”
With a half shrug, I attempted a smile. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”
“Yeah, but I knew she liked me way back when, and I kind of pushed her in your direction to get her off my back.”
Smiling for real now, I replied, “I wouldn’t have Rhett or Brooke if you hadn’t done that.” A sudden pain pierced my heart. “Or at least, wouldn’t have had Brooke for the short amount of time that I did.”
Caden drew in a deep breath and let it out. We heard voices and turned to see Mrs. Wilde, Caden’s mother, talking to his youngest sister, Emeline.
A strange sensation filled my chest at the sight of the latter.